What will happen to me when I die? Is my soul still here and keep able to see the people I care about? Will I disappear altogether and feel happy in heaven or suffer in hell? Will I be reincarnated as an animal or a flower or become a human again?

Wonho felt uncomfortable every time he visited the funeral. It was like a reminder that he'll end up there too, sooner or later. He hates separation and this reality is very scary to think about. Three days ago, he was so happy while on the phone with Shownu – his best friend who is waiting for the birth of his child. Then the next day, Shownu called back in a hoarse voice as if holding back tears. Ha Yoon, his wife, died shortly after giving birth. A few hours later, the baby also died.

Wonho has never felt he lost someone he loved. His grandparents died when he was a toddler. But seeing Shownu's current state, he could feel the pain.

He would do anything to make his best friend happy again.

***

WONHO

I have never felt sad at the dining table. I didn't touch the cereal at all until it finally mushy. Jooheon's peanut butter-smeared bread has also turned stiff and invaded by ants. We thought about each other's business in silence while occasionally sipping coffee. Shownu hasn't woken up or he didn't want to go down for breakfast. What should I do?

"Do I have to bring breakfast to his room?" I asks Jooheon.

"Last night I gave him chinese food. But he said he wasn't hungry and told me to give it to the servants," Jooheon replied. "But you can try it. You have to force him a little."

So I made toast with his favorite chocolate jam. I know this is a tough day. I can't stop him crying over the death of his loved ones. However, Shownu loved his wife so much and was very happy to wait for the birth of his child. But he shouldn't stop eating. It's been two days he just locked himself in a room without chewing something. Then how can I eat without feeling guilty?

The sound of footsteps made me and Jooheon look up. There is Shownu wearing a suits with very neat hair, also carrying a briefcase.

"Shownu Hyung, do you want breakfast?" asks Jooheon.

"Ye, toast and black coffee."

Finally he wants to eat. "I made toast for you. Jooheon-ah, make coffee for Shownu hyung!"

"No, let me make it." Shownu poured coffee from the machine without adding sugar and creamer as usual.

I handed over the bread I made and he finished it in two bites. "Are you going to the office?"

He answered while chewing slowly. "Ye, I have a meeting this afternoon to discuss our newest product advertisement."

"I will represent you. You still need to rest, don't push yourself."

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

Jooheon and I looked at each other, while Shownu sipped his coffee calmly. Isn't this a good sign that he is behaving normally? But why am I worried? I tried to send telepathy to Jooheon so he would say something.

It seems like my telepath worked. "Hyung, I'll take you to the office. Give me a minutes to get ready," Jooheon offers.

Shownu wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Guys... I'm fine, okay? I have shed all my emotions these past few days. Last night Ha Yoon came into my dream and she wants me not to be sad again."

"Ooh... you must be happy to see her." I smiled.

He nods. "I gotta go. See you at dinner time."

***

I've been good friends with Shownu since we were toddlers. Our fathers are good friends, our mother shopped together, even my dog married his dog. But I've never seen him this fragile. I often comforted him when he was having problems with the company. I'll take him for a drink or a vacation. But this is another matter. I have no idea how to cheer him up.

"He used perfume that smelled of myrrh and kunzea," I said to Jooheon. We were walking around the back hill to looking for flowers.

"What does it mean?"

"Myrrh helps to reconnect a physical and emotional, while kunzea is useful for heal the trauma and restore a feeling of safety. I gave the perfume when his secretary who had worked for three years resigned."

I am a perfumer. My sense of smell is very keen and sensitive. Not only for perfume composition, but also for mood. I'm sure Shownu still feels a lot of sadness. Going to work won't be good for him.

"We must persuade him to return to Korea," I says, thinking that was the best idea.

Jooheon frowns. "Why?"

"He doesn't have anyone here. I have to go home in two days, you too. Then who will cheer him up?"

Jooheon nods. "Kurae. We can't leave someone when they feel depressed. But what if he doesn't want to? He might not want to leave memories here with Ha Yoon Nuna."

I picked poppies and smelled it. Nutty smell and a bit earthy. "Then I will stay here."

I never thought it would be easy to ask Shownu to move to Korea. At dinner last night, he only needs three seconds to nod his head. He is like a robot that obeys all my commands. I will use this to help him. Luckily, he is not yet a permanent American citizen. So it won't take long to process the paperwork. He just needs to arrange a few things in our branch office here.

In the meantime, I will still go home tomorrow. Maybe I'll find an apartment for Shownu. I will make sure the place is very comfortable and can reduce his sadness.

"I'll look for an apartment with a mountain view." I says to Jooheon.

We just watched a movie. There are no comments at all about the ending. We are still not in a good mood to do anything. Even though our popcorns has run out.

Jooheon nods. "Look for apartments that also have the best beef restaurant and fitness center. In his room, there should also be a whirlpool and small icebox with the best drinks beside it. So he will be entertained all day."

I nods. "And I will make sure there are no babies along the corridor of the floor, so that he will not feel reminded of his baby."

"And the big screen, of course," Jooheon added.

"Of course."

We really like watching movies. Jooheon and me. We also follow several TV series and will faithfully wait for each other to watch together, no matter how curious we are to find out the next episode, we just can't watch it alone.

I used to cheat by watching Sky Castle until the end. At that time I was very curious who killed Kim Hye-Na, while Jooheon was very busy throwing a party at Malibu for a week. He was so angry when he found out I was cheating. My favorite snacks that he brought from California was just given to my security at the office. Though I had imagined eating it all while watching The Bride of Habaek. It hurts me so much! I promised myself that I would never cheat again.

I smell something. "Shownu is enjoying the hamburger we give."

"How do you know?" asks Jooheon. Then as he realized, he continued. "Oh, of course. I forgot you could smell everything remotely."

"Now he is making coffee."

"Thank God he doesn't drink alcohol anymore. Looks like he's getting better, right?"

I nods and already knew that Shownu would be fine again. Everything is just a matter of time.

But I smell something strange. I'm not sure what that is, but this smell is familiar. "Is that acetone?" I suddenly stood up and smell the air pretty hard.

"What's wrong?" Jooheon looked up and looks worried.

"Why did he take acetone?" I asks Jooheon.

"What the hell is acetone?" now Jooheon is also stood up.

"It's a kind of chemical liquid. You'll die if you drink it! Why did he make coffee then take acetone?"

Jooheon stuttered while holding his head. "Omo!! Do you mean he wants to kill himself? Hyung, we have to do something!"

Without further ado, we ran to Shownu's room and opened the door like crazy. Luckily, the door was unlocked. Shownu is sipping the coffee. Jooheon immediately approached him with tears in his eyes.

"HYUUUUNG ... DON'T DO THAT! DON'T LEAVE ME, I LOVE YOU! I STILL NEED YOU, WE WILL GO THROUGH THIS TOGETHER ... PLEAAASEEEE!!!"

Shownu looks surprised while putting the cup back carefully. I pay attention to the table. There was a half-eaten hamburger, coffee that was still smoky, a row of colorful nail polish and a bottle of acetone.

"What are you going to do with all this?" I asked him.

While avoiding Jooheon's hug, he answered. "I'm missing Ha Yoon. Usually at this hour she was changing her nail polish. And this is the nail polish that I bought last time for her."

Jooheon pointed to the acetone bottle. "Then what will you do with the acetone?"

Shownu explained patiently. "I always wipe her nails with acetone before she changes the color," says Shownu.

Jooheon stopped his crying, while I sighed in relief. "Then why did you open the caps? You're not going to use all this, right?"

"I just wanted to smell it, i feel like she's here. Close to me," he explains. "Why are you all crying and barging into my room like that?"

Oke, how do I know that he just wants to remember Ha Yoon by opening an aceton bottle. Jooheon and I became uncomfortable and decided to let Shownu whatever he wanted to do.