Year 1999, we are a happy family. My father works at a private company. My mother is a housekeeper and is cooking, making desserts for my father to bring to his work. We are living a comfortable life.

We live in the city, we are happy during Sundays because it's my father's day off. On 7 am we wake up early to go to church. After the mass we would eat on the restaurant then we will stop by the plaza to watch the karaoke contest. In the afternoon we will walk towards the market to buy ingredients for dinner. My father would carry me in his neck, my older brother is held by my father with his right hand while my older sister is held by my mother. We are very happy that time while sitting on the shore eating icecream watching as the sun set.

One day my father was assigned on the next municipality because he was assigned to guard the newly built stablishment there. He told my mother and said that there will be a bonus when he will supervise there temporarily. My mother declined at first but later agreed.

The next morning, my older brother and sister went to school. My father changed his clothes because he will go to his work and my mother prepare for the things my father needs to bring with him.

I played with my doll and I approached my father. "Father, where are you going? Why did you carry a bag?" I asked him.

"I will go to work my child. When I return home I promise that I will buy you a bag and a new doll." He replied.

I smiled and said, " The big doll?"

"Yes, just promise that you will be a good girl and behave well here with your mother. You must help your mother doing house chores." He said.

Then my dad gave me a goodbye kiss, then I noticed that there are tears flowing form my mother's eyes.

Two days had past. We went to the market on noon to buy ingredients for father's favorite dish. We estimated that my father would arive in the evening and we will have dinner together.

It is now 6 in the evening, I stayed behind the door to surprise my father when he enter our house. My older sister is studying while my older brother is watching a movie. My mother is busy cooking our dinner. It is already 7 in the evening but my father still dodn't arrive. I got tired waiting for my father to return home. I heard my older sister ask my mother, "Mother why father hasn't arrived yet?" My mother replied, "Maybe they have to stop over somewhere or you father went to their office. We just need to wait for him longer."

It's already 8 in the evening but my father still hasn't returned home. The food that my mother prapared for dinner gone cold. I am already sleepy so my mother decided that we will have dinner first.

Mother told us that maybe my father hadn't drove home this afternoon and will drive home tommorrow morning. My mother told us not to go to school to meet our father.

In the next morning, we prepared early so that we can meet my father. But my father still haven't arrived. We take breakfast and my mother decided to visit my father's workplace because maybe my father got his duty extended.

We arrived at my father's workplace but also his workmates are puzzled why my father hasn't returned home yet. I didn't hear what my mother and my father's workmate are talking because we are left in the canteen, but I can see that my mother is really worried.

My older brother asked my mother, "Mother, why is father not here?"

"Maybe your dad drove early in the morning and is already at home now." My mother replied.

We really hope that father is waiting for us in our house.

So we returned home. We didn't see his shoes outside. My older sister opened the door but it is locked. It indicates that my father hasn't returned home yet. My mother tlld us that we should clean our house because my father might return on noon. My father might be buying toys right now. So we started cleaning our house so that we can show to father that we are behaving well while he is not around and he will give us rewards.

It's already afternoon, my mother brought us to the market to buy ingredients for dinner, my mother is still hoping that my father can return home this night. The dinner is ready, we prepared everything, only my father is missing. My sister is reading books while my brother is playing video games and I am always watching outside waiting for a shadow of my father.

But it's already past 8 in the evening, my fathet still didn't return home. We eat dinner while being worried about my father. I can see my mother is worried and afraid. But my mother said to us calmly, "Maybe it's raining hard there and there are no transport, that's why he haven't rode home yet. We hust need to wait for him tommorrow."

During the night, as we are sleeping my mother suddenly cried. We wondered why she sat down and cried heavily. He opened the door and he shouted the name of my father. It is raining that time, "Ralph where are you? I opened the house door. Where are you? Come here inside. Ralph tell me where are you." My mother shouted while tears kept on flowing on her face. A few moinutes later, our neighbors went to our house because they are worried what happened to my mother.

After that my mother told us why she acted like that. She said that she dreamed that my father was outside our house. But my father can't go inside because the door is locked. Then my mother saw in her dream that my father is wet from that heavy rain and my father asked my mother to open the door while crying. So that is why my mother waked up.

We are startled when my mother shout out loud. We turned on all the lights outside our house but we couldn't see my father there. Some of the neighbors also inquired what had happened to my mother. My mother decided to go to my father's workplace because she thinks that my father is there. One of our neighbor accompanied my mother. Before they went out my mother said to my older sister, "Arny prepare a tea because maybe your dad is in the office, don't turn off the light I'll find your father."

So my older sister immediately prepared a tea.then I sit on the doorway while watching outside. I am hoping that dad will finally come home. While we are sitting on the doorway our dog keeps on barking towards us. My brother approached the dog to let it quite down. But it still won't stop barking towards us.

My brother said, "Sister, the dog might want a milk he might be thirsty." So my brother get a bowl but the dog just ignored it then my sister said, "Go get some food for the dog, it might be hungry. We need to make it quite or we might get scolded by our neighbors." But still the dog just ignored it. So my brother picked the dog and brought it inside where we are sitting.

We got curious because the dog looked up at the right side of my sister then barked softly. The dog sat down and kept on barking while looking up. My sister also looked up at the ceiling but she found nothing.

It's already morning but my father still hasn't arrived.

The tea that my sister prepared already been cold.

Moments later my mother went home, her eyes are reddened. My mother said that my father was not in the office. My mother changed her clothes because she would check on the terminals if my father had traveled.

My mother had talked to a driver and showed him the picture of my father. But unfortunately none of them had seen or noticed my father. There is one driver who recognized my father's face. He said that last day he found my father wearing a bag and he also told us what my father was wearing that time.

We stayed on the house and one of our neighbors is looking after us while my mother went to the neighboring municipality where my father is assigned. She said before he left while crying, "My children I will check on your father, behave her well."

"Mother why are you crying when you are going to find father?" I asked.

"I'm just crying because I missed your father, I will go now I will be back." She replied.

Then my mother kissed me and my brother and sister in the forehead before leaving.

My mother reached the place and she asked the driver where did he saw my father. My mother and our neighbor went to the place and ask the residents there if they have seen my father. But the residents told them that there was someone who got killed the other day in their place and they don't know who it is. When they got to the police station they found out that the one that was killed was wearing thesame jacket and pants as my father. My mom felt down when he heard what the police had said. The police also said that the man was robbed and been stabbed to death countless times and was thrown to the river. My mother wanted to see the dead body but the police refused because the body is already burried. Two days have passed but no one claimed the body and there is no identification card that way with the body because it has been robbed. So the funeral decided to bury the body and just left the pants and shoes so that the family of the deceased can identify it.

My mother's body weakened when she received the pants and shoes. It was really my father's pants and shoes.

"Ma'am we also found a doll floating near the dead body." The police added while handing the doll to my mother.

My mother burst to tears when she heard this.

My father's co-worker told my mpther that my father wanted to go home immediately in order to join us on eating dinner. Because there are no motorcycles for rent that time my father just walked going to the terminal.

"Ralph, maybe you should not walk to the terminal. It's so dangerous on the way there." My father's co-worker said.

"It's ok, I think no one will harm me if I have done nothing wrong. I also need to go gome now because I promised my family that I will be there at dinner." My father replied. "I also missed my family because I am not with them for two nights." He added.

That was the last words of my father towards his co-worker.

My mother planned to ask the police to take my father's body so that he she could check if it is really my father. My mother still didn't want to believe that my father is really dead. But the mayor refused because it is against the law to recover a buried body because it can harm the people near it. Because of it my mother had no choice but to return home while crying, she carried the doll and the things of my father.

It's still early in the afternoon when we prepared for dinner. We helped our neighbor to cook for dinner. She was notified by our mother that they will return home before dinner. We all got excited because we thought that my mother would return home with my father. We all waited near the door in order for us to see if they will be home.

After a while we saw mother walking towards home carrying a box. But she is walking slowly, she looks like she is in pain. Behind her is our neighbor, she is carrying a doll. We are all shocked of what we had witnessed.

I kept looking behind my mother hoping that my father is with them. But sad to say I didn't find him.

"Where is my father? Why isn't he home yet?" My sister asked my mother while crying.

My brother turned around while I am staring at the doll. My mother saw that we already prepared for dinner then she said, "Remove one of the plates because you father cannot join us for dinner because he is now gone."

"Why? Where is my father now? Why can't you tell us mother?" My brother asked.

"We don't need to wait for your father anymore. He won't come back." My mother replied.

My mother burst into tears. My sister and brother both went to the room while crying.

I approached our neighbor that went with my mother.

"Auntie, did my father bought that doll? I asked while smiling. "He promised me that he will buy me a doll before he left. But why is he still not returned home?" I added.

She just kissed me and handed me the doll. "If ever you will miss your father just hug this doll." She said then she hugged me and she cried.

My mom cried heavily when she is stating what had happened. The food we prepared became cold because my mother, brother and sister didn't eat. Our neighbor told my mother to be strong for the three of us. My mother just nodded. My brother and sister cried till they fell asleep, and I am hugging the doll that my father bought for me. I saw my mother on the living room looking at my father's photo. "Ralph if you just have listened to me maybe you are still alive now. How would I raise our children on my own." She said to me.

"How can I raise them? What lies ahead of us? How can I wake up in the morning without you by my side? How can I tell them that they can't see you anymore? My God please make my husband alive. Let that buried man not him. I can't take this Ralph." My mother said.

I can't understand what did my mother said after that because she is crying.

And outside our dog keeps on barking.

The next day when I woke up. There are neighbors and my father's workmates that came to our house. They gave donations to my mother for my father's tomb. They gave financial help and condolences. My mother contacted my father's relatives and told them about what happened. After that one of my father's relative told my mother that if she cannot raise us by her own they can let us live with them. But my mother refused and told them, "No! We can live on our own. I will do everything for us to survive."

Then after that my father's relatives all went home. There are no hints on who is my father's murderer.

We waked up early because my brother and sister are gonna go to school. There is a deafening silence while we are eating breakfast. My mother's eyes are sore but she is calm in front of us even though we can see how she is suffering right now. "Have you two studied? I heard that you will be having an examination now?" My mother asked my brother and sister. "If you got a high score I will give you rewards like what your father gave you. Promise me that you will study hard." My mom said while looking down. She cannot face us that time.

"Mother why there are 5 plates in the table? Will father return home?" I asked. But I haven't finished speaking yet my sister pinched me and I cried.

My mother explained to us while she is eating. "Listen ok? We don't need to wait for your father, specially when dinner. He is already gone. He is now in heaven. But your father will keep on looking after us. If you miss your father, you can look at his photos." She said.

"If we look at father's photos we won't miss father anymore? Or will he return home?" I asked.

"Mother, I really missed my father so much. I want him to go home so that he can send me to school." My sister said while crying.

My mother didn't answer and just cried in front of the table.

Few months have passed, our money are slowly used up. We sold some appliances in our house to buy food to eat and allowance for my brother and sister. My brother and sister studied on a private school. My mother mother send them herself because we can't afford the monthly payment on the school bus. She can't cook food to sell because she didn't have money to buy ingredients. And she didn't have enough time to do so because I already started going to school.

She can do it in the past because my father can assist her. My father is the one that take care of us and my father also help on cleaning the house so that my mother can concentrate on cooking. But now my mother do it all by herself.

We are struggling right now. We don't have television or other appliances. Only lightbulbs are left. My mother that time applied as a cook in a canteen of one of the hospital. But it still not enough for our daily needs. Before our neighbors will watch television in our house, but now we are the one's that will go the their house to watch a show. Now we are pitied when our neighbors see us on the streets.

We will stay on the house that has a television and just wait for our mother to deliver us food. In the evening my mother has brought foods. She said it was leftovers from the customers that didn't eat it. We would be happy with that. But we are still struggling that time. We are raised by our mother alone, and it was very hard.

One night while we are waiting for our mother to return from work. My mother returner home with a man that looks like a lot older than our mother. We wondered why did that man is here.

"You will call him uncle." My mother told us.

And from that night, the man will go to our house to visit my mother. And we just know later that my mother would be married again.

We also felt a little relieved because the man had a good life. Everytime that man will visit my mother he would bring a lot of foods.

"Mother are you sure that you want to marry that man?" My sister asked.

"Yes my child." My mother replied.

"Did you forget dad already? I don't want you to remarry." My sister said angrily.

"I haven't forgot about your dad. And it still hurt me. But I don't have any other choice. I can't raise you on my own. Don't worry this is for your own good." My mother replied. Tears burst from my mother's eyes when she said that.

At first my sister didn't want my mother to remarry but later she just accepted what my mother had planned. My mother explained to us that wherever she is we will also go there. Few weeks later my mother is married to that man. The wedding is elegant. They are married on the city, and we just know that we will be brought to the man's place. He said that he lives outside the city. The relatives of my father knows about the wedding and they said that they don't want our house to be sold. They said that it will be for me, my brother and my sister. So after that, some of the relatives of my father lived in that house.

My mother was 27 years when my father died. She remarried when she was 28 years old and that man is 47 years old. The man had grandchildren and only the last child is not married.

When we arrive, our stepfather prepared a feast to welcome us in their family. Their house is good looking. I saw the daughter of our stepfather carrying a doll. But she was frowning, "Hi sister!" I waved towards here. But she just ignored my greeting.

My older sister hold my hands tightly and said, "Don't greet anyone here specially that someone just ignored you now. We don't know them and we don't know what are they like."

"But my teacher said that I should be friendly." I replied.

"Yes but if you think that they are not in the mood to talk, just keep quiet and ignore them okay?" My sister said.

"Okay I understand." I replied.

The next morning, my mother wake us up early to eat breakfast. We gathered on a one big table and my stepfather talked, "This is my daughter, Angela." He said pointing to the girl. "Angela this is Lexxy, Larny and Lucas. From now on we are one family. You should help do house chores and you should not fight with each other." He added.

We all nodded while his daughter faked her smile.

We thought that we are in a good hands and we have escaped all of the sufferings. But we are wrong. It is just the start of our suffering.

While my step sister is watching television. We are on the balcony. I peeked from the window while she was watching television. When she noticed me she then closed the window so that I cannot see. Because she is watching cartoons I went inside because the door is open and sit on the couch. She then turned off the television the she hide the remote behind her. I wondered why she turned off the television so I asked her, "You don't like the show sister? I asked while smiling.

"I don't like watching it because there is an outsider watching our television. And who told you that you can sit on that couch?" She said angrily.

I cried because I was scared of her angry expression.

I went to my mother and sister on the kitchen while crying, "Mother, Angela is bad, she scolded me." I said.

"Why what happened? What did she do to you?" My mother asked.

"I didn't do anything to her. Why is she a cry baby?" Angela said while staring angrily at me.

"Okay Angela, she is still a baby that's why she would cry easily." My mother said.

Angela didn't apologize to me and my mother didn't mind it. My mother told us that we just don't go near Angela to avoid problems. We nodded. So when we are having lunch, only the four of us left eating and Angela come near to the table and said, "Be careful on washing those plates, you can't afford it if you broke it."

My brother and sister just looked down while I stared at her wondering why did she just got angry on us all of a sudden.

Later, my sister get a jack stone to approach Angela in order to play with here. But Angela said to her, "You want to play with me? Why? Are we friends?" Then Angela walked straight to her room. So we just played with my sister. We were the one's left in the house because my mother and stepfather went outside to buy foods. But as we just got started playing Angela went out of the room and she intentionally stepped on my hands. I screamed and my sister pushed Angela because she did not remove her foot from my hands. Angela might noticed that my mother and stepfather have arrived, she then shouted and laid on the floor. Her father rushed towards her and said, "Who pushed my daughter? If she got hurt you know how to cure it?

"It maybe an accident." My mother replied.

"Go discipline your children. It is not good for them to hurt each other inside my house." He said angrily.

My mother brought us to the room. My sister told my mother what happened.

"I told you that don't go near or talk to Angela, just ignore her. What is wrong with just living here and following my instructions?" My mother said while crying.

My mother saw my sore hands and asked, "Does it still hurt? Wait I'll get some ice to relieve the pain." Then she handed me a lollipop, "Here you can have this lollipop, wait for me I'll take ice cubes.

From that, we didn't go near to Angela. We stayed on the balcony then help our mother doing laundry, cleaning the house. One month have passed, our stepfather told us that we should also help with the work on the farm. My mother also agreed.

One morning, we were brought by our stepfather to the farm because we need to remove weeds there.

"Stepfather, does Angela don't like to remove weeds? Why you only brought the three of us here?" I asked.

"Why would I let Angela work? She is my daughter." He replied.

My sister pinch me to keep me quite. We were scared because our stepfather showed who he really is that time.

"You start here. You keep doing your job. I will return home now." He said.

We looked at the farm, its wide and there are many thorns.

At first we are enjoying what we are doing but we got tired as the time pass by. Unfortunately I wounded my finger. I cried because of the pain so my sister decided that we should go home. I cried on our way home. My mother approached us and she held my wounded finger and she washed my hands immediately because it is covered with dirt. My brother sat on the couch while watching television, my sister is beside me. We heard that my stepfather is talking.

"Why are you here watching television? Didn't I told you to remove weeds on the farm? Why did you return home so early?" He asked.

"Lexxy got wounded. They are not used to it." My mother replied.

"Not used to it?" He asked. "That is why I bring them to the farm so that they will get used to it. Why did you got wounded? You maybe just played there when I returned home.

"We didn't play there. Even if you check our work. We just returned home because my sister got hurt. She couldn't stop crying.