I shut down myself in the room as the cage inside my opens, releasing the rampaging beasts and monsters each fighting for dominance to set my identity.

Who am I today? What will I be?

Will I be able to smile normally with all these sounds oppressing me? Or will be identified as an abnormal and be out-casted?

Whatever is it, all I want is to get through another day even if it takes handing my souls to these demons.

Cause after all the definition of abnormality of this society is just one of it's another twisted reality.

           -Nagomi

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

A ray of light peeked inside

But it was far from reach, I couldn't touch it

Scared of it's warmth, I held back myself

But I was only a human, my curiosity drew me towards it......

It was cold, it was sad

Nonethless, it was something I craved for

Scared that it might go out, I kept the curtains if my heart open

Just like that slowly but surely, the coldness was melting for me.

As it held onto me....

                        -Haruto

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

A special place only for me

With my only special one

Helding hands as we sat

Staring at each others eyes

As we make our own paradise

Slowly we grew up

And so did our ideals

I realised the paradise we had

Was as fragile as a delicate glass

Trampled and shattered as we stepped

Onto the world full of regrets

Sometimes it left me wondered

Were we always this weak?

Or was this what the situation made us

Broken and rebuilt over and over again

Until nothing other than those memories were left

Still I search for you, holding on those treasures

Cause you are the one who I call my 'last paradise'.

    -Aito

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

His hair as red as flames

Rivaling the one burning inside me

As I saw those crimson eyes

So ethereal yet so lonely

Flickering, prepared to blow out any moment

Scared to loose the only spark

You built those walls

Only the one allowed to see the light

Was you and me

I too got caught up in those flames

Seeking for every bit of its warmth

As diamonds fell down those crimson eyes

I swore to held you close

Even if the spark was long gone

I clung onto you being your only flame....

                                 -Itsuki

______________________________________________

**Hey everyone!

Sour_Tangerine here!

This chapter is like just a sneak peek to what are the characters are gonna be like. Their character outlines so you can understand their personality better.

This will be a boys love story.

So if anyone uncormfortable with such genre may not proceed.

I hope you guys will enjoy the story.

I love you all**.

"In this chaos, I lost myself

In this madness, I found myself

Seeking for a life, I killed myself

Being in the crowd, I silenced myself

Even after those, I am still standing

Searching for a glory, hide my suffering

But I don't know, why I lose it every night

Seeking for a life, I killed myself."

As he sang with his soft yet soothing voice which almost sounded like his silent cry at the same time, mixing with the music made by his guitar, the audience got sucked within the world created by his music.

His music was appreciated and felt by everyone. 

"Why do they feel so close yet so far?" Nagomi thought to himself while waving and bowing at the audience with a faint smile on his lips.

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

"Today was tiring." He mumbled while lighting a cig and blowing out the smoke as it slowly faded away with the winds. 

"How nice would it be, if I could disappear like that without a trace of existence." These thoughts were always normal for him, as he still hasn't found the real reason to live, to keep existing.

Nagomi Sato was an orphan, having no memory of his parents. He always wondered what love and warmth felt like, whenever he would pass by a family on any occasion.

Being bullied and thrashed out was all he knew in his childhood. The feeling of happiness and the feeling of being cherished, the feeling of home…...these feelings, these were something he never knew and now he stopped chasing them, he didn’t try to find out, not anymore. Because once you get the taste of it, returning to the normal empty days would be even harder, that's what he thought.

Maybe all the beatings had made him numb both physically and emotionally. Until he found music, his skin was his paper, razor was his pen and the blood was his ink. The proof of it was still visible with all the scars and bruises on his wrist. But now music was his way to cope and his way to express.

That's who he was, a boy who never knew the warmth but made people feel spring and autumn with just his words.

Just like his name "Nagomi" he brought people together with his music.

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

Hey everyone!

Just to point out few things, I am not a japanese and neither I am fluent in it so there maybe some mistakes when I use some japanese names and their meanings.

If you guys find such mistakes, feel free to correct it and I will change it as soon as possible.

The monologue I've written at the first part is also done by me so if it's bad, forgive me for my poor skills.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Feel free to drop any kinds of feedback, as it helps in my writting growth.

I love you all.

Sour_Tangerine.

Nagomi sat on his study table scribbling the lyrics. But it was all in vain, cause the right words never came to his mind.

Wanting to write about true love and home, was not as easy as one thought to be. But he was a stubborn one, didn't know when to give up as music was his only escape.

After failing to write for the nth time, he grumbled and threw the paper in the bin and threw himself on his bed.

All his energy was lost due to all those thinking and writing. He was about to go for a smoke break again when his phone rang. It was from the head of the company he had signed the contract with.

"Good evening Mr.Takashi." Nagomi greeted back on the phone, anticipating as to why he got a call from the president.

"I know you must be confused. You must be wondering why I called you out of blue. But I want you to think about what I told you during our last meeting." 

"It's alright, I am doing just fine. I don't think a manager is necessary."

 Nagomi reassured Mr.Takashi.

"I know you are  trying to be considerate but I have already arranged someone for your manager.  Just don't  bail out on him this time like you did with the last managers. I will send you the time and location." 

"But- 

*toot toot*

The president had already hung up the phone. He knew Nagomi would never share his problems so he wanted at least a manager to be by his side.

Likewise, Nagomi knew that president meant his good as he had always been treated like a son by Mr.Takashi.

"But I would never be someone's first priority no matter how well someone treats me." Nagomi chuckled to himself sadly.

____________________________________

Nagomi woke up to the bright light shining on his face. He slowly opened his eyes, he groaned as soon as the light hit his unprepared eyes.

"Should've closed the curtains yesterday." He thought to himself while getting up from the bed and heading towards the bathroom, to freshen up.

He had thought to spend the day lazying around by himself as usual but then he saw the message from the president.

He groaned again. 

"Do I really have to?" 

Nevertheless, he got ready and drove to the said location.

He parked his car, wore his mask and cap and walked towards the cafe.

As soon as he entered his attention was caught by the happily smiling, boy waving at him.

"Woah! What an annoyingly bright guy." 

That was his first impression of the latter.

"Hello Mr. Sato. I am honored to meet you." The boy extended his hand towards Nagomi for a handshake, a smile never leaving his face.

And Nagomi swore that his face was bright enough to light up the whole world. 

Never in his dreams he thought, he will be able to meet a person, with a smile, as bright as the one he is shaking hands with.

They both sat and Nagomi called for the waiter. He took both of their orders; latte for Nagomi and cappuccino for the boy. After taking the orders, the waiter went back and Nagomi moved his attention towards the boy.

"So what's your name?" Nagomi sat on the chair across the man.

"Oh I am sorry for not introducing myself earlier, I was just too excited to meet you." The boy said, scratching his head.

"Well it's never too late." Nagomi said while sipping on his latte.

"I am Haruto Abe, your manager from today." The dirty-blonde haired boy, said again with a smile enough to melt one heart with radiance and warmth.

And at that moment something inside Nagomi said, it's going to be a troublesome journey. 

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

I deserve and award for 'The boring writer'. But an award is still and award.

Hope you enjoyed it.

I love ya'll.

Sour_Tangerine