“Mommy! Can I sleep beside you?” asked my four-year-old son.

“Yes, you can baby. What happened? Having a nightmare again?” I kissed his left cheek and cuddled him inside the comforter.

He sighed and I found it amusing for a four-year-old boy. “Mommy, I always see you gazing out of the window at night. And you look sad that’s why I want to sleep beside you so you won't feel sad. Do You feel less sad when I’m here Mommy?”

“Of course, baby.” I chuckled. “Thank you for making Mommy happy.”

“That’s what babies do, right?” He added.

“Hai hai.” Yes yes. “Now, let's go to sleep.”

Thank you for this gift, Keith.

-

“Goodmorning Jia.” one of my workmates greeted me. “How’s your weekend?”

“I just spend my time with my son, that’s all,” I smirked

“With the body like yours, who would have thought that you already have a son.” My boss commented. I work in a clothing company as a designer. And my boss is not a straight guy. He’s a very optimistic, upbeat person and on top of that with a kind heart to his employees.

“With the body like mine, how can my man leave me? Thank you for the compliment, boss.” I chuckled.

“Now now. You don't have time to be depressed. You have a lot of time to search for a new love, you’re still young. Don't put yourself down.” said Mr. Pierre while arranging some fashion magazines.

Boss's perspective is very positive in every single thing, especially in terms of love that is why he named the company Pragma.

It's a Greek word means longstanding love. He is still waiting for his true love that will accept for who he is, or so I thought.

-

Two weeks had passed and we became busier because of the fashion show that was scheduled today.

“Get ready guys!” Boss yelled at us.

“Makeup. Makeup!” He pointed to the models and makeup artists.

“Jia, you ready? After the runway show, we’re going to introduce you to the stage as the Pragma: Pure Summer Collection designer.” He put his hands both on my shoulders. “You can do the speech.” He winked at me.

“Don't worry boss. I got it. My son is in the front row with my mom so I have to show him my strong points, right?” I smiled.

“That's good! And I want to see that little boy of yours later, okay? Now let’s get going. We don't want to wait for our audience for nothing!” He clapped his hands. “Chap chap!”

-

2 hours passed, the fashion show finished. The clients keep on congratulating me left and right.

“Ms. Navarro, what a splendid job you have there.” I was approached by a beautiful lady behind me.

“Oh, Ms. Alvarez. Thank you very much for attending our show. We are very grateful to have you here.” I blushed as I shake her hands.

Ms. Alvarez is the daughter of the owner of Impalpable Groups of Fashion, one of the leading fashion companies in the city so I was really shocked to be congratulated by her.

“I want you to work with you if that's okay with you.” She said and my mouth formed an “O” for being so shocked. I can't believe that Ms. Alvarez is offering me a job in the Impalpable clothing line.

“If you’d like, we could talk more privately in my office. Just give me a call anytime.” she handed me her calling card and I was so overwhelmed. “See you!” she waved me goodbye.

While I was still recovering from the overwhelming previous conversation with Ms. Alvarez, a hand pat me on my shoulder, and there was a man standing behind me.

“Keith,” I mumbled.

The same as always.

His deep green eyes that I miss.

His brown hair.

“Long time no see, Jia.” he spoked

Those words.

His voice.

How I badly wanted to hear.

Before my tears threaten me to show, “Mommy mommy!” my son clings on my dress. “Those are the clothes you made?” his deep green eyes were grinning at me. “Those are superb!!! When can you make me my next clothes like the man wearing in front of us?”

Then it hit me. I forgot that Keith is standing in front of us. I saw him frozen with gaped on his mouth while staring at us.

“Is he..”

Before he could finish his sentence I cut him off.

“Gio. Yes, baby. I’m going to make your suit like his but more elegant, you hear?” I looked at my son smiling.

He nodded with glistening on his eyes.

“Could you go back to your grandma for a sec? I’m going to talk to this man first, okay?” I pleaded him to not ask another question

But before the boy run to his grandma, Keith grabs him in his shoulder and smiled.

“See you soon, boy.” He said.

As my son is out of sight.

Levi started “Is he..”

“He is my son. Yes.” I cut him off again whatever he wants to ask.

“No. I mean is he..” he trailed as he combed his hair out of frustration.

“No. He is not your son.” I finish him off and started to walk away.

“For heaven’s sake! Let me finish first!” He yelled at me.

“What do you want,Keith? Why are you even here?” I asked him.

“Well..”

“Keith baby, where have you been? I was looking for you everywhere.” The blonde woman clings on his arms. I saw a diamond ring on her left hand.

So that was it. I gave him 5 years. 5 damn years and he chose to be with this woman. And another 5 years for recovering myself from the mess he did to me.

I push away all my love for him and composed myself. I faced him in a professional way.

“Its good to see you again Mr. Alford. Enjoy your night!” I bid them goodbye.

6 years ago.

“Keith! Can I ask you something?” I asked him nervously.

“What?” Still looking on his laptop.

“I saw this picture of you with some girl.” I placed the picture above his table. This time, he stops and stares at the picture.

“Who is she? I saw this picture on the magazine stand. Saying that this girl is from a rich family and the reason why the Alford still not announcing our engagement is that you’re having a second thought on me.” I calmly said.

“You already knew her. What’s the point on asking me?” still not meeting my gaze.

“I’m asking your side. Who is she to you?” I hear myself cracking because of the coldness on his tone. This is the second time Keith gave me a cold tone.

I saw you guys from time to time but I didn't care because I know you love me. But lately, you seem cold and far away.

He straightened up on his seat. Still not looking at me. Then he picked up the picture and turn to me.

I saw guilt on his eyes.

“Jia. I don't know what to say.” He started.

He looked to my eyes deeply and signed, ”I love you, you know that. But I don't know I feel attracted to someone like her. I dontbkniwbif this is just attraction but recently..”

My world seems to crash and I can't hear what is his saying anymore.

“How..?” I covered my mouth with my hand to stop my cry.

“I don't know. She’s lovely as you. I see myself together with her ruling Liberty.” Still holding the picture. “She has amazing strong leadership. Maybe that's the reason I grew to like her.” still not meeting my gaze. ”you know that dad..”

I can't hear anything or I don't want to hear anything anymore.

Yes. I'm not from a rich family or a noble family. I was raised by my parents with integrity. They were able to send me to a prestigious fashion school because they knew that I have potential in fashion. I’m from nobody that hopes to grow and become somebody.

I don't know how I managed to get home from Keith’s place.

After that incident. I decided not to see Levi for a month and it's driving me crazy.

“Keith Alford of Liberty will announce his engagement party with Ms. Fernandez this Saturday by the Alford...” I turned off the TV before I started to here more.

I decided to go to Liberty Manse to see Keith. I was welcomed by Luke, his ever-loyal secretary.

“Welcome, Ms. Jia. Mr. Keith is not expecting you to be here, would you like to wait here for the meantime?” asked Luke.

“Is he busy?” I asked him.

“No. He is just with Ms. Fernandez...” before he could finish his sentence, I walked passed him.

There, I saw my man laughing and giggling while standing by the window of his office with a woman.

I felt a pang in my heart at the same time numb on my whole body.

I see shocked on his face and questioning look on the woman.

I dashed out from his office and I don't know how I was able to reach my apartment.

I confined myself in my room the whole day then I heard my doorbell rang.

“Who in the world will go visiting me at this hour?!” I irritated reach my door.

I saw Keith with the same expression I know before I met him. Stoic.

“What? What do you want?” I ask him.

“Could you please let me in first?”

“No. Talk right there.” I insisted.

“Jia. You’re an amazing woman..”

“But not as amazing as you have there.” I sarcastically replied.

“Let's talk inside.” He barged in.

“What do you want to know, Jia?” He sits on the couch.

“Do you still love me?” I ask.

“Yes.”- Keith

“Then why?”

“I love you but no longer the way I loved you before.” - Keith

I choked. Realization is coming.

“What happened?” I ask.

“I don't know, Jia. I love talking to her. She excites me. I want to know more about her.” He leaned his back and stated those words like a-matter-of-fact.

I didn't know what to say. I was frozen. Our memories keep on flashing on me, one by one.

“Jia, please?” I didn't know that Keith is talking to me. I was lost in my own emotions.

“Huh?” I turned to him.

He sighed. “Let's break up.”

Those words that I never knew will come.

I become numb.

“You have no idea what I gave up in my life for you, do you? Then you just turn around and slap me with those words like..to get lost? .... and that I am unwanted?” I whispered the sad truth.

I know I look like an idiot now. I still have my pride.

I stand and walk to my bedroom.

“Jia..” he put his palm on his face.

“Keith. I’m tired. I know what you want to say and what you want to hear from me. You can go and lock my door.” I can't look him in the eyes.

“Jia. I'm sorry.” He said.

“Thank you, Keith.” I close the bedroom door behind me.

After the day we spoke to each other, I woke up early and decided to go to Keith’s pad.

Keith will be in his office so I grab the opportunity while he’s not there.

I gathered the things that I left in his pad and return his things, including the ring he gave me.

I put my farewell letter on the table beside his bed, and a bottle with my encouragement notes. I put 100 encouragement notes, including my I love you’s. I hope he would take it once a day like vitamins.

Goodbye Keith... thank you for the memories.

-

Keith’s POV

”We have to finish the investigation in the accounting department. The general meeting is on 2 days from now... No, we can't risk it... Listen to me Luke, just do what I say. I’ll call you again later.” I hunger up.

I have to know who is behind all of this corruption. Dad is expecting something from me or else, sheesh I don't want to imagine the nag.

buzz buzz

”Keith, my work will end soon. Are you going to pick me up?”

A text from Angela.

”Sure, I'm just going to change and pick you up, okay? I'll call you.”

Sure it's a busy day for me, aye. I throw myself in bed and lay down for a while and I saw a container on my nightstand.

Keith.

This is my first and last love letter that I made.

Thank you for making me happy for the past 5 years.

I miss you.

I love you.

Youre my first time in everything.

You broke the walls that I built around me.

I feel comfortable just being with you.

Just talking nonsense. Laying down in bed. Your arm wrapped around me. Im laying on your chest. Non stop stories or even just sleeping beside you.

That’s my definition of pure bliss. My pure love. My everything.

I could look into your face the whole night watching you asleep.

What did you do to me to make me feel this way?

5 years had past and we have to end it and I have to say goodbye to that pure love I had with you.

The reason why we have to end this is that you already found your true love. Sadly it's not me.

The places that once belonged to us, the promises that are not fulfilled, you can do it the right person, to the person you truly love.

If you are wondering why I didn't fight for you or for our love is because I'm tired. It feels like I'm the only one fighting in this relationship.

I can endure all of the bullyings I always got for being your girlfriend.

I can endure the spicy words your dad and friend I always got.

The malicious looks, their hatred. I can endure them for you.

But not this kind of issue. Third-party. My heart cannot take it, Levi.

So now I'm setting you free. I want you to know that I'm supporting you silently.

I pray for your happiness. I treasure the love we had. I don't want to ruin the happy memories we had to so I have to let you go and give you my blessing.

To the person who laughs and cries with me. To the love, I'm always thankful.

To my love that will become memory,

Thank you.

Jia

Present time.

“Mommy mommy! Here’s your lunch for today!” Gio handed me my lunch.

“You're now taking care of Mommy ahh? Thank you, big boy.” I kissed his cheeks and his two little hands.

“I'm a big boy already, Mommy?” He cheerfully asked.

“Yeah coz your turning 5 next month, right?” I ruffled his brown hair.

“Yeah, mommy! And mommy, you know what, the guy who looks like me came yesterday and he said that he will be here on my birthday!!! He will bring..”

I was shocked.

“What?” I raised my voice.

Gio was taken back by my voice.

“Sorry honey. I was surprised that you have a visitor without Mommy knowing.” I glared my brother who is now slipping his foot on his shoe.

“What? The guy deserves to know.” Claude said. “And he is one of my boss business partners. So it's hard not to see him ..”

“Have you ever know how to shut up?” I pointed my finger on him.

“What? He’s a spitting image of this little squirt.” - Claude

“Uncle, what’s squirt?” -Gio

“See? He is like his son. Dumb as always.” He laughed

“My son’s not dumb!” I yelled at him.

-

The month of October is the season where everybody is busy with the new design collection for Christmas

Ahh. Christmas...

..another project.

It still early to feel the spirit of Christmas.

“Boss. Can I talk to you?” I knocked on his door.

“Sure sure. You have new ideas?” His eyes are sparkling.

“Yes. The creative team already came up with a new idea. But I'm here to talk to you but not related to this.” I said

“Sit sit.” He offers me a sit in front of his table.

“Ms. Alvarez offers me a position in her company.” I started.

“Oh.” I see the sadness in his eyes. “You know, angel. I'm not going to stop you if you want. Maybe it's your chance to spread your wings and become a well-known designer.” He said.

“But Boss. I really love working here. I decided to turn down her offer. I want Pragma to become famous because of the people you trained.” I said.

“My angel, thank you for thinking that way. I really appreciate it. We will build Pragma on our own.” He said with happiness on his aura.

-

“Cara and Yasmin. You and your team, I'm going to assign you to Women's clothing.” I said

“Migs and Patrick. You know where is I'm going to assign you right? Men's clothing”.

“Gemma! You will be assigned on Kids clothing.”

“I want you all to be finish before December 22. Got it? We have 3 months to go!”

Someone raised a hand. “What our color motif?”

“Good question.” I pointed.

I pulled 3 different colors: White. Red. Green.

“What do you think?” I asked. “You want a traditional Red-Green Christmas motif or White Christmas for a change?” I grinned.

“White Christmas is good for lovers!” Cheered by someone.

“Red and green for kids!” From Gemma’s team.

“How about Red-White, Pure White, and Green-White?” I asked.

They all agreed on the colors.

“Multimedia, I want you to create some background effect regarding our theme: Pragma: Lost Love at Christmas. I started explaining the theme.

“The songs should be mellow but upbeat. Okay? Just instrumentals, for the start, while on during runways, you can change it into any upbeat songs, I mean broken-hearted song with a remix. I’ll just send you guys some examples later”.

“Okay. Let's roll!” I dismissed the meeting.

“Good job, Jia,” Boss said. “Now, you have a guest waiting in my office.” He stopped and looked at me. “First, you have to retouch, you look haggard. I don't want to disappoint my guest seeing you like that.” He winked.

I look myself in the mirror. Yeah. I have a dark circle around my eyes due to my work and organizing Gio’s birthday.

I have invited my cousins and their kids, my friends and also co-workers.

I want to see the smiling face of my son. I want the best for him.

I put some concealer on my eyes and some powder and lip tint on my lips. I loose my burgundy hair from a bun and it turns out in cute loose curls.

I knocked on the door. I heard Boss said to come in.

There I saw a man in a black suit with brownish hair colored. Dignified on his look but once he saw me, his eyes turn playfully.

“I didn't know Mr. Pierre has a beautiful employee here.” He teased.

I have a hunch. He’s hitting on me.

I smiled and bowed my head to the man. “Nice to me you, ahh-“

“Roberto. Robert Button. But you can call me Roberto. I don't want to feel awkward for you calling me bu my last name, Mr. Button. It's like you're talking to my old man.” He joked.

Button. Where did I hear that Family name? I started thinking.

“He is the son of Altaria Group if you forgot, Jia,” Boss said.

It's like a bulb that pops up in my head. The Button family. What is he doing here?

-

Roberto asks me for a lunch meeting for his proposal.

“I want you to design for our garments for our next Grand Party of 6 well-known companies. For me and for my dad.” He said.

Two suits next month, Gio birthday party, and 10 dresses for Pragma fashion show. Can I do it?

“If the price is right.” I gulp the wine.

He smiled. “Great! My secretary will pick you up tomorrow morning.”

“Why?”

“Uhh. Coz you going to work inside my Villa?” He looks at me innocently.

“No. can't do. I have to go home after I take measures of you and Mr. Button.” I waved my fork on him.

“Why? Cant, you stay in the Villa?” -he looks me in disbelief.

“My son will be waiting for me,” I said.

“Oh.” He choked on his wine. “How old is he?”

“He’s turning 5 next month” I proudly answered him.

“You have a son but I don't see any ring on you.” He stared at me.

“Well, my man cheated on me before I learned that I was pregnant. You got a problem with me working now?” I return his intense stare.

He was back from his thinking “No no. I didn't say that. I’m just shocked that how can he leave you for another woman if you look like a hell of a goddess.” He blushes.

I snorted. “Well, that’s life. It doesn't mean that I have pretty-faced, I will live like a hell of the goddess. men will not be contented on just a pretty face.”

He looked me with longing “yeah but you're not just pretty. You're everything between.”

I nearly choke. Heh, men.

“Thank you, Robert.”

-

Robert insisted to drive me home, he also wanted to see Gio.

We were welcomed by my Mom.

“Oh. You didn't notify me, Jia, that you have a guest.” Mom said. “Come come.”

“Mom. He drives me home and wants to see Gio. Where’s Gio?” I asked

My mom went back inside outhouse to call Gio.

Gio came running to me with a man I didn't expect to see.