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I'm messed up, my mind and looks both are messed up. I'm standing on the 13th floor, at the really last corner of the rooftop. Just a centimeter away from the dead. One step and I will be in hell. Just one step. I stood there looking down. Remembering everything about my life.

And thinking,

" One more step,,, and I'm going to die. What is going to happen to my family if I die? I hope they still stay happy. I hope I'm going to die with all the bad things and bad luck. Everyone is going to be happy knowing that I'm dead now. "

Not a single track of fear nor any tears in my eyes but the pain and cuts in my heart are so visible that anyone can tell just by looking. Everything in front of my eyes is getting blurred. It hurts, hurts so much.

...* fall's *...

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...* Startled awake! *...

...*Sweating and breathing is also unstable.*...

...*Panting*...

" Oh God, that dream again! Damn. It's been so long."

It's not a dream it's a memory from my past. A memory which I still haven't forgotten, a feeling, an unforgettable feeling. It's one of these unforgettable memories which I wanted to forget.

*sigh*

" Why this dream again man! It's been so long, why can't I just forget everything and be normal. "

But no. You can't be normal after all of those memories. You can't put yourself into the scale of normal people. Even, after all of those efforts you make, people are going to blame you for what you became because of what they have done to you. That's human nature.

They just need to blame someone. But I don't blame anyone for that. Because I believe maybe, I'm not capable enough for them.

* tears started to flow, like it was meant to wet my pillow. *

I was looking up at the ceiling. I could see everything clearly because the lights are on.

Now you are probably wondering why the lights are on. So the lights are on because I have dark phobia. Interesting right? But the more interesting thing is, I love to stay in the dark. The more you are going to learn about me, the more you are going to be addicted to me.

Probably now you are wondering , how am I talking with you. It's just you are my imagination. You know many people create an imagination to talk with, to be with. So you are that person for me, whom I talk with every time I'm happy or sad. You are in my daily routine and talking with you makes me feel better. Also this world doesn't understand a weirdo like me. So you are the only one who I talk with. Yes, you exist, for me .

* ring, ring, ring *

I turned around and tried to look through my blurry eyes. I saw my alarm is ringing, and it's the third time it's ring. It is the last snooze.

Like this alarm life also gives us one last snooze before the end of anything. Some people understand that some don't. The people who understand, they don't have any regrets in life and those who don't understand, they always have regrets in life. You just have to pick snooze before it ends forever.

As for me, I willingly let my last snooze finish, which I don't regret because it was my choice to lose it. I may feel sad sometimes but I never regret it. Just like that my alarm stopped ringing ,, and I fell asleep again.

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...To Be Continued...