Has your heart ever been tied to a feeling that makes you unable to leave? A warmth that was sweet but binds the chest.

'Love', words that people always finds it hard to conclude. A remained mystery. How could it be, only after everything had passed, that people finally cared about it?

Having resisting a somewhat bittersweet memories, hardship of togetherness, disappointment in outcome, joy of love life, and yet, in the end, what might it ended up?

What does it mean to love someone?

Some says love was sacrifice, whereas some says, love was an oath to live as one forever; overcoming everything that stand in the way, and a choice to make. Well, no one can deny that everything was true.

How about me?

Why did I love?

Well...I used to say.... I like his appearance, his perfectly sculpted face that matches my ideal type, or his sturdy body that made me felt safe on his embrace.

But as time passed by, I somewhat can't identify anymore. There's neither reason that could be explained, nor was accurate; there was just an addition, and additional reason to love the person on a deeper level.

As I looked back again, I found out that, love after all was translucent, which smoothly glided in, yet expanded substantially. Be it better or worse, it's always beyond doubt that both led to a MADNESS.

[ Author POV ]

The beginning of the story happened when Nuan Qing, who prefer peace and solitude seriously denied the existence of love or the desire to marry in her life, as she was always immersed in her world of fiction and dislikes much about community involvement. Yet, she met Yi Xuan, who also had never interested in love life, with a silver spoon on his mouth since childhood.

It was when finally a destined encounter made them have to swallow the words they used to deny. A fate that nurtured a feeling which had slowly grown in silence; as it settled deep in the corner of their heart, kept refusing to leave.

On a large hospital, a trembling phrase kept being repeated, full of misery and guilt, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm truly sorry". That figure's whole body was trembling, and a whole tear kept running down from its eyes, filling it's cheek; as if no matter how many tears that were shed would never be enough to atone for the wrong it done.

The voice echoed for a while before it vanished, nowhere to be seen again as the patient lying down opened its eyes.

4 Years later....

Four years slipped by, leaving behind everything that was held between those years; totally unraveled and remain mystery without any other explanation.

On the other hand, Yi Xuan was still trapped in the fragments of moments that never got the chance to become memories. He stood tall, on the edge of a bridge while leaning lightly on his motorbike. His deepened gaze was directed to the cloud as he mumbled, "Nuan Nuan....seriously, where have you gone now? What you're doing? Are you doing okay? I.... don't know... I honestly don't know what more can I do." At this time, in his mind, he wondered how sorrowful the sky must've felt. Listening to his endless grieve and longing for someone he truly dear for.

Who would have wondered? What is it feeling now? Is it joyful, or.... Is it sharing in the sadness? Or maybe.... It's also finds its happiness in being a companion to those who were grieving?

And yet, here we are, still, the clouds in the vast and blue sky became a constant place for Yi Xuan to truly conveyed his feeling, his longing, along with his despair; hoping that it brings a message for his beloved who had just disappeared without any words.

For years, their bond endured, but it might always was one-sided, as it's missing its half.

Over time, due to years of diligence working, he finally used the payoff to own the majority of shares of a bookstore business; As his beloved likes book, so he bought it, in mind that she might come back to him someday. And now, the only last step were laid bare, waiting for the complete ones to fill in. Still in his daze, his mind continued of the doubt, "..... but what's the use for all of this.... when my soul has sealed in an uncompleted state?"

However, Ru Heng who was with him, suddenly uttered his concern as he walk closer, "Yi Xuan, are you alright now?."Yi Xuan couldn't be bothered to glanced at him. He just casually replied, "Yeah." Seeing his utterly haggard and drooping features, Ru Heng sighed a breath. After all, they're friends. He can't just let him be, right?

Therefore, he requested, "I know. It's obvious on your face that you're not feeling that good. Come, follow me out for a drink: to relieve those fragile heart of yours."

Yi Xuan shifted his gaze and answered, "You know I don't drink, but still, I can accompany you."

Ru Heng again let out an exasperated sigh. He was utterly baffled yet frustrated at the same time. It's been like this for a whole four years that even Ru Heng didn't know how could he have held on all this time; maybe, after all it was not about only oneself feeling all along, but because of the bond they shared all this while, that makes everything passable. "Okay", he replied. Then he hissed quietly once more," What's the use of bringing you with me if you don't drink? Dummy"

Moving to their motorbike, as both of them keep their feeling tightly shut, Yi Xuan then twisted the key, fired up the engine and trailed behind Ru Heng, with both of them riding their own motorcycles wherever they were going afterwards. Nonetheless, when they showed up at a bar, a swarm of people with a blink of an eye gathered around them, murmuring words they had yet to know.

Ru Heng come to a baffled mode, "it's only evening: 6 o'clock, yet already this many people, the bar truly lives up to its fame". Briefly spotting so many guest keep walking in and stepping out with several any others clustering on the front, made him totally curious over what might be inside that it attract so many people.

Back to business, the air of mysterious and alluring energy they gave off which captivated everyone's interest, come to not any other than being surrounded by the masses of people around the place. Yet, they held firm, not paying any attention to the situation they're in. Surrounded by the swarm himself, Ru Heng even playfully leaned towards Yi Xuan and began to tease him, "Hey Yi Xuan, look at these stunningly hot ladies, are you sure you don't want to choose one?."

Upon hearing that, Yi Xuan can't help but to glare. He said it sharp as a knife and final as a full stop, "Sshh.. Keep your distance from me. Were you not abandoned as I was? Do you desire one of them as well?." Utterly shocked, Ru Heng stood in silence before he attempted to differentiate between their seemingly identical circumstances. In spite of that, Yi Xuan appeared not to acknowledge a single things he said, which eventually leading Ru Heng in hopelessness. Therefore, he continued his blabbery, "Yi Xuan... Why are you so harsh to me? Aren't we supposed to be friends?."

"Ru Heng, you've changed. Weren't you supposed to be the most calm person among us? Where have you gone to?", Yi Xuan carried on asking. Ru Heng was honestly speechless. A wave of disbelief washed over him; because he sees that Yi Xuan himself didn't seem to notice how much he'd changed. In fact, perhaps the differences ran even deeper than his. Overwhelmed, Ru Heng demanded, "Weren't you the same?."

Surprisingly, Yi Xuan offered no resistance. Looks like he still noticed it, even if not that much. In the end, they both stood tall with resolve and stepped inside together.

Once they walked in, the booming music instantly engulfed in their senses, which was soon swallowed by the roar of the crowd. People drunk and dance everywhere, bringing with them their partner for the days. Now that they went in, Ru Heng with a quick wit totally understand the fame over this place. He set a quick scanning, "Um, totally different."

Yi Xuan's curiosity successfully overcome him, "what difference?."

Without further ado, Ru Heng answered to his inquiry, "Can't you see? This place may seemed to be ordinary, yet, look at your surrounding. Every one here were all well-known people, be it in the industry or any other things; a good place to form a so-called somewhat relationship with some big shot. Not enough with that, their customer service must be not any other than a top-notch service, unlike those other bars outside. You..can grasp what I'm trying to say, right?. "

"Yeah", Yi Xuan answered blatantly with a face that completely have no idea, though, Ru Heng who seemingly knows everything instead still stood motionless in place, completely paralyzed and stuck before he slowly syncing his finger movement with the disturbing rhythm that were played. Just when Ru Heng on the way of feeling it, Yi Xuan firmly proposed a decline when his eyes roaming everywhere, cannot escape the locking gaze on some free girls, "Ru Heng, let's.... just go back".

Ru Heng looked on, confused and hesitantly unwilling; as he hadn't had the chance to enjoy it yet. His hard-headedness ultimately made Yi Xuan still had to pull him away out of place. Their failed first plan eventually switched to just eating at a street stall, which was located just outside a flower shop. It was quite cozy as the lights decorated were slightly aesthetic, and shone out a yellowish beaming, in addition with the simple yet delicate blooms adorning every table.

Then, once again, Ru Heng asked in a ugly perplexed expression, "Are you not joking with me right now? Are we really going to eat here? Dressed like this?"

Hmm it's a bit weird actually, but it's not impossible. Looking from afar, their energy seemed far too fancy for a simple food stall. They wore a sharp black suits that gave off refined vibes, luxury brands watches that complement on the veiny wrist, and neatly styled hair. Everything about them was strikingly out of place. On the other hand, they looked more fitting for a fancy restaurant. Yet, despite that, Yi Xuan keeps convincing him with the verse, "Just let it be, assume it's for the aesthetic." At last, Ru Heng conceded defeat and just went along with it; lies, actually he was hiding his face in the shadow on his other side quietly.

A few minutes after they started eating, Ru Heng complained in insecurity once for all, "Yi Xuan. Do you know? I felt that, sometimes.. You're the leading one." Upon hearing that, Yi Xuan paused for a moment and comforted him, "Don't worry, you've been ahead of me before as well, and always will." Hence, Ru Heng glanced for a while with a proud nod before he continued savoring his food, with a "Um" as his response.

Half and hour passed before they finished and chatted for a while, then part ways afterwards. Ru Heng said that he needed to head off somewhere and drove off to his motorbike, while Yi Xuan took a moment to step into the flower shop nearby.

( Little bell rang )

"Oh! Young man!". The madam florist greeted with such a warm welcoming; she seemed to be in her 40s.

Having greeted that warmly, Yi Xuan can't waste one's effort and greeted back, "Ah, evening auntie". He slightly bow a respect and started roaming around, exploring every corner of the store.

With his wandering hands, he began to touch every flower that adorned the place and finally caught a glimpse of the flower that he would always buy whenever he saw it. As a result, he called the florist madam to compose it for him. "Thank you" were the last words he said before he left.

"Such a nice young man. I wonder if that girl would like him."