Find Myself (TaekookFf)
Prologue
They say your outer self reflects your inner self.
A society that judges your worth based on your face.
You shouldn't go out in the sun, you'll get tanned. You should do planks so your height will increase.
You shouldn't eat so much, you're getting fat. You should gain some weight, you're too skinny. Many more comments you might have heard in your daily life.
That makes a certain criteria of beauty types. More fairer, taller and more fit, then you are considered beautiful. And if you are not in this criteria, then forget about the chance to live without any judgement.
What is called beautiful?
Your outer self or your inner soul....
Meet Kim Taehyung, For having a tan complexion constantly shunned and judged. So when the last thread of his hope breaks after learning the one he loved saw him only as convenient. He decided to leave the place he thought was home.
With no destination, no plans or any hope for the future, he just walks away.....
Will he find himself or lose in the cruel judgement of the world?
‼️Please be aware all the characters are not real, it's fictional and didn't imply on real life people. I randomly choose the characters, no need to take it in your heart.
Momouse(Author)
A Taekook short story. And will mainly focus on them.
Momouse(Author)
This is one of my very old short story, I write it with original characters in a Boyxgirl format, but now I decided to convert it into a bl Taekook version.
Momouse(Author)
If you are very sad and gone through an angsty plot. Need something to calm your heart......Go ahead. This story is for you.
Momouse(Author)
At the end you'll only find peace finishing this. So enjoy!
Momouse(Author)
Be safe and healthy
Momouse(Author)
Stay tuned
1. Never belonged
The mirror didn’t lie but sometimes, Taehyung wished it did.
His tan skin, kissed by the sun's golden glow. He stood out among the pale, porcelain faces of his family. Every time he looked into his reflection, he didn’t see flaws. He saw warmth, soul, and his real self. But to the judging eyes of those around him, it was always a blemish.
The laughter from the living room spreading warm over the house. Jimin between everyone, a big smile stretch on his fair face. It's his birthday, getting celebrated in the most joyous way.
Park Jimin
*Smiling brightly.*
His parents, filled with pride and happiness they never show for their own son. Hoseok, Jimin's rich and caring boyfriend.
Mr. Kim(Tae's dad)
Jimin is our little darling... *Laugh heartily.*
Mrs. Kim(Tae's mom)
Our beautiful baby, really. *Smile softly at the boy.*
Jung Hoseok
*Wrap his arms around the boy, kiss his temper.* C'mon love, blow the candles and make your wish.
And finally there is Min Yoongi...
Taehyung’s Yoongi, who was leaning against the doorway, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched Jimin blow out the candles.
Min Yoongi
*Eyes fixed Jimin, with a longing expression.*
Kim Taehyung
*Stood frozen in the shadowed hallway.*
He didn’t hate Jimin. How could he? The boy never hurt him. But the way everyone compares Taehyung against him, he couldn’t help but keep his distance.
Taehyung always tried his best to gain those proud filled eyes of his parents. The genuine smile from his relatives, and a beautiful life with his boyfriend Min Yoongi.
Growing up he worked hard to achieve his own life. He studied until his eyes ached, his bones exhausted. And finally he became a teacher, he cried in happiness when the acceptance letter came.
But his parents reaction to his success?
Mr. Kim(Tae's dad)
A simple teacher? *Shake his head in disappointment.*
Mrs. Kim(Tae's mom)
What will you even earn? See Jimin! Work in a MNC in such a big post.
Mrs. Kim(Tae's mom)
If only you were a little fairer....
Kim Taehyung
*Smiled through it all.*
With a hope that some day they will praise him too.
And then came Min Yoongi, quiet, unreadable, and devastatingly attractive. They met in college, he’s someone who didn’t judged his skin tone. Someone who seemed to see Taehyung for who he was.
Taehyung fell hard and gave his everything. While Yoongi still never said much nor promised anything.
Even sometimes it feels like he's the only one invested in their relationship, Taehyung never complains. He solely make every effort to make this relationship work.
Always prepared meals for Yoongi, even though he never asked.
Expensive gifts from his hard earned income, just to see a small smile on Yoongi's face.
Always there for him, even though Yoongi seems annoyed.
Kim Taehyung
Maybe if I give enough, I’ll be enough.
But it all shattered at Jimin's birthday night.
Kim Taehyung
*Standing behind the door, heart beating fast.*
He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. He’d just been returning, when Yoongi’s low, familiar voice drifted out.
Someone
Still can't believe Jiminie ended up with someone like Hoseok. *Chuckled.*
Someone
Perfect match. Good family, bright future... unlike someone!
Unlike Taehyung, again the same comparison.
Kim Taehyung
*Tears gathered in his eyes.*
Not by other's judgement, because Yoongi did not defend him for once.
Min Yoongi
Perfect indeed. *Voice filled with emotions.*
Min Yoongi
Always knew Jimin deserved the best. Hoseok’s a lucky man, I can never be him.... *Sigh.*
Kim Taehyung
*Breath hitched, looking stunned.*
Someone
Still bro...? Even after all this time with Taehyung? You are still into Jimin... *Awkward.*
Min Yoongi
After Jimin chose Hoseok... well, Taehyung was there. Always clinging, always trying so damn hard. As convenient.......A bare minimum. He’s not even.... *Pause.*
Min Yoongi
*Casually.* Not even fair. Never was my type. Just... convenient.
Kim Taehyung
*Felt like the floor crumbling under his feet.*
Kim Taehyung
*Back away, hands covering his mouth tears blurred his eyes.*
He stumbles out of the party, his body shaking. The laughter inside seems like it was mocking him. He's pathetic, clingy and bare minimum...... just convenient.
Finally the realisation drowned upon him.
2. Walking away
He walked all the way to the apartment building where he and Yoongi lived.
The apartment he’d painstakingly made a home. Where he cooked Yoongi’s favorite meals, even when exhausted after grading papers.
Kim Taehyung
Yoonie! See I made your favourite stew. *Serve him with love filled eyes.*
Min Yoongi
*Didn't even look up from his phone, nodded a little.* Mm.
Where he’d saved his money for months, to buy Yoongi that ridiculously expensive watch for his last birthday. Just to see a flicker of surprise....
Kim Taehyung
Do you like the gift? *Expecting eyes.*
Min Yoongi
*Blankly staring at the watch.* Not bad.
Where he poured his own love and efforts into a hollow relationship that, he now realized, had always been cracked.
Kim Taehyung
We'll always stay together, right? *Looking at him with a beaming smile.*
Min Yoongi
Tae! I'm busy. Don't irritate me right now. *Brush him off.*
Now looking at the same space, Taehyung heard arched.
Kim Taehyung
*Sat on the edge of their shared bed.*
Kim Taehyung
*Feeling numb and empty.*
The last fragile thread of hope finally snapped.
Kim Taehyung
*Burst into loud sobs.*
He cried for the devastating realisation that the people who were supposed to love him. His parents, his partner...... simply... didn't. They never did.
Kim Taehyung
*Cried until exhaustion claimed him, slept in the same position.*
Sunlight went through the window falling on his face.
Kim Taehyung
*Stirred awake.*
His head throbbing, eyes were swollen, body aching from the cold floor and the miles walked yesterday.
Kim Taehyung
*Pushed himself up, every movement he felt in pain.*
The apartment was still empty, Yoongi hadn't come home. His parents hadn't called even for once to ask if he was alright.
Kim Taehyung
*Stood in the middle of the living room.*
The things around, their remnants of the broken relationship. Photo frames, Yoongi's old music collections and his own books.
Kim Taehyung
*Chuckle brokenly.*
Now nothing seems like home, he had always been alone, even in the middle of the people he called family and love.
Kim Taehyung
*Moved slowly.*
He picked a small duffel bag. Pack a few changes of clothes, his teaching certificate and some savings. The small, carved wooden bird his grandmother had given him before she died. The only person who’d ever looked at him without comparison.
Kim Taehyung
*Take a paper and pen to write a final note.*
What could he possibly say to the man who considered him convenient? To the parents who saw only Jimin?
Kim Taehyung
*Sigh, write down the sentence.*
"I hope you will find your true love. Goodbye Yoongi."
Kim Taehyung
*Placed it on the kitchen counter.*
Standing with his bag, ready to leave. He looked around one last time. There's no warmth, no nostalgia..... only emptiness.
Kim Taehyung
*Come out of the apartment, close the door behind him.*
Kim Taehyung
*Coming out of the building.*
The sun cast a golden ray on his face. Eyes red-rimmed, face exhausted, body aching. He moved forward towards the unknown world ahead.
Kim Taehyung
*Started to walk.*
Away from the apartment. Away from Yoongi. Away from his parents. Away from Jimin and the suffocation of being compared. Away from the piercing eyes and the cruel judgement.
He walked without looking back, the small duffel bag against his side. A small figure dissolving into the faceless crowd of the city.
Kim Taehyung
*Walking and walking, without stopping.*
Where's the destination? He doesn't have any idea. No plans, no place...... just walking where his legs will take him.
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