MY MT FAMILY
chapter 1 ┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→
author
Welcome 🤣get ready to get confuse
Morning chaos was routine in this house, but today was a special level of disaster.
Icey was in the kitchen, proudly tying her apron. She had decided, once again, that she would “prove everyone wrong” and cook breakfast.
Alex, her husband, froze in horror when he saw her cracking eggs into a pan already filled with… soy sauce, three chili peppers, and half a cup of orange juice.
Alex
Are you… trying to feed us breakfast or summon demons?
Icey 🎀
It’s called innovation. You wouldn’t understand.
Alex
I Call it attempted murder.
Before Icey could throw the spatula at him, Moonshine (great-great-grandma) hollered from her rocking chair in the living room:
Moonshine
LET THE WOMAN COOK! Even if it kills us!
Alex groaned. He knew what was coming: another “culinary disaster.” So, in a desperate attempt to save the family from food poisoning, he reached for the flour bag to start pancakes.
The moment he lifted it—WHOOSH! The bag exploded, covering him in white powder. His hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows disappeared into a cloud of flour, making him look like a haunted snowman.
Lian Beb (second uncle) strolled in at that exact moment, sipping coffee like he was walking into a commercial. He smirked.
lian beb
Bro, you look like expired donut powder. Should I bury you with sprinkles?
Alex, coughing, pointed at Icey’s pan of
Alex
Toxic stew.
At least I’m not trying to poison the family!
Right then, Snowflake (Icey’s daughter) stormed in, holding her phone.
Snowflake ❄️
MOM. WHAT IS THIS SMELL?! My friends will think I live in a garbage dump. And DAD—what are you even doing?!
She slipped on the floury floor, fell flat, and screamed:
Snowflake ❄️
THIS FAMILY SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!
Moonshine cackled like a villain.
Moonshine
That’s karma! Respect your ancestors, brat.
She smacked Snowflake’s head with her cane for emphasis.
Icey, offended, waved her spatula like a sword. “
Icey 🎀
Everyone criticizes me, but I’m a visionary chef!
Alex
Visionaries don’t put ketchup in pancakes!
Snowflake groaned dramatically.
Snowflake ❄️
I’m running away. I’ll live with the neighbor—they at least eat normal food!
Lian Beb adjusted his sunglasses, checked himself in the reflection of the microwave, and sighed.
lian beb
This family is chaos… but at least I’m beautiful.
The whole kitchen descended into shouting, flour footprints, and burning smells (Icey had left her “creation” unattended, which now smoked like a volcano).
Alex finally gave up and said,
Alex
Fine. Everyone out. I’m cooking before we all end up in the hospital.
Moonshine sipped her tea and declared:
Moonshine
Good. Make extra. And add vodka.
chapter 2 ←_←
After the flour explosion, Alex took control of the kitchen. He tied on his apron like a man preparing for battle.
He barked, holding a frying pan like a sword.
Alex
No more ‘innovations,’ no more ketchup pancakes, NO MORE POISON. I’m cooking breakfast properly.
Icey crossed her arms, sulking.
Icey 🎀
Fine. But don’t blame me if your boring food puts everyone to sleep.
Snowflake groaned from the floor.
Snowflake ❄️
At least boring food doesn’t taste like death.
Lian Beb, still sipping coffee, smirked.
lian beb
I second that. Also, I’d like my eggs shaped like hearts. Presentation matters.
Alex
You’ll eat whatever comes out of this pan and you’ll LIKE it.
Just then, footsteps echoed on the stairs.
Kashish (Icey’s second daughter) stumbled into the kitchen, still half-asleep, hair like a bird’s nest. She squinted at the chaos.
kashish
…Why does Dad look like a ghost? Why does the floor look like snow? And why does it smell like… burnt ketchup?
Snowflake threw her hands in the air.
Snowflake ❄️
Because Mom tried to COOK AGAIN. It’s child abuse!
kashish
Great. First thing in the morning and the house is already a crime scene.
She plopped into a chair and fell back asleep mid-sentence.
Alex ignored them all and focused on his masterpiece. He flipped pancakes with the grace of a ninja, fried eggs perfectly sunny-side-up, and even added toast with butter. For the first time, the kitchen smelled normal.
Rosy (Icey’s second mother) arrived right at that moment, carrying a basket of fresh vegetables like she owned the place. She stopped dead in the doorway, sniffing the air.
Rosy
…Wait. Did somebody actually make edible food in this house?
Icey 🎀
Mother! How could you say that?!
Rosy put her hands on her hips.
Rosy
Because the last time you cooked, even the dog refused to eat it.
Moonshine cackled from her rocking chair.
Moonshine
She speaks the truth!
The family gathered around the table as Alex proudly placed down plates of golden pancakes, fluffy eggs, and toast. It was a rare moment of peace. Everyone sat, ready to eat—
—until Snowflake accidentally knocked over the orange juice. It spilled everywhere, soaking the pancakes.
Kashish, now awake, picked up a fork to stab a pancake—but dropped it on the floor. Lian Beb refused to eat it because,
lian beb
The presentation is RUINED.
Moonshine poured her tea directly on her plate, claiming it was “holy water.”
And Icey sulked,
Icey 🎀
Hmph. My food may kill people, but at least it’s memorable.
Alex buried his face in his hands.
The scene ended with Snowflake recording the chaos for her TikTok, Kashish eating straight from the Nutella jar instead of the pancakes, Rosy yelling at Icey, and Moonshine declaring:
Moonshine
Next time, let ME cook. I was a chef in the war of 1942. Or maybe it was 1962. Whatever—it was delicious!
chapter 3
The family car pulled into the grocery store parking lot.
Alex gripped the steering wheel like a war veteran, already regretting bringing this circus.
He said, turning to the others,
Alex
We’re going in, we’re buying what we need, and we’re leaving. No chaos. No drama. No distractions.
Icey 🎀
Of course. I’ll behave
Moonshine
That’s what the devil said before he invented disco.
Lian Beb fixed his hair in the rearview mirror for the tenth time.
lian beb
Relax, Alex. Some of us are born to look perfect in public. It’s my civic duty to bless society with my beauty.
Alex
Lord give me strength.
---
Inside the grocery store, everything went downhill instantly.
Icey grabbed a cart and immediately started throwing random things into it—pickles, six jars of mayonnaise, a frozen turkey, three bottles of shampoo, and one inflatable pool toy.
Alex yanked the shampoo out.
Alex
“We don’t need this!”
Icey 🎀
But it was on sale! And look at this—pineapple-flavored toothpaste! Isn’t that innovative?
Alex
That’s not toothpaste, that’s floor cleaner!
---
Meanwhile, Lian Beb had gotten lost near the cosmetics aisle. He was standing in front of a mirror display, trying on sunglasses one by one.
lian beb
Hmm… am I more of a mysterious mafia boss, or a tortured poet?
A worker walked by and muttered,
don't know
Sir, this is a grocery store.
Lian flipped his hair dramatically.
lian beb
Beauty has no boundaries, my dear civilian.
---
Moonshine was the true menace. She shuffled through the aisles with her cane, loudly roasting random strangers.
A man walked by with a cart full of chips.
Moonshine squinted at him and shouted:
Moonshine
BACK IN MY DAY, WE FOUGHT WARS! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE PREPARING TO FIGHT CONSTIPATION!
A lady picking apples got hit next:
Moonshine
Sweetheart, no matter how many apples you eat, it won’t fix that haircut.
Alex nearly died from secondhand embarrassment.
Alex
Moonshine, PLEASE stop insulting people—
Moonshine smacked his leg with her cane.
Moonshine
Shut it, flour boy. You still look like a failed snowman.
---
By the time they reached checkout, the cart had:
2 frozen turkeys,
4 random candles,
7 types of chips,
a toilet brush,
and Lian Beb’s new sunglasses (that he refused to take off).
Alex
We came here for MILK. JUST MILK.
Alex let out a scream that echoed through the whole store.
Moonshine patted his back.
Moonshine
Don’t worry, boy. Alcohol is cheaper anyway.
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