I felt cool liquid under my feet, thick crimson red liquid. The white dress I was wearing had red stains on it. Surrounded by people, those familiar faces made my blood boil but tremble with fear as well. They came closer, their hands out, they wanted to grab me. I couldn't move and in a split second everything went dark.

Everything dark, I'm surrounded by strange darkness. Darkness

.

.

.

.

.

Darkness.

My dark rebellious soul.

'Useless! Disgraceful!'

'Bitch!'

No.. I'm not..

'You *****! Die!'

'I don't want you!'

No please don't..

'I don't have a disrespectful daughter like you!'

'It's a shame that you were born in our family.'

SHUT UP!

'You rascal! Get out of here'

'She won't go with us. I'm going to beat her if she did.'

'Bitch!' slap.

Why can't I run..?

'You can't compare with us!'

'She stole my dairy!'

'Trash! Piece of shit!'

'You're are never going to live happily!

You will die the worse death!'

No mother, please!

'Fat bitch!'

Stop it! It's enough!

My knees felt weak, crashing on the dirty floor. I watched them yelling at me, calling me names. I want to fight back but I can't move. The earth started shaking, it cracked open and I fell into it.

An endless depth.

I wanted to scream but I can't, I could hardly breath. Just waiting to hit the ground, broken into pieces. The end of my sufferings...

"Your ordeals aren't going to end so soon....hahhaha"

"You have to suffer alot!"

RUN!!!

--

"NO!" I gasped for air, covered in cold sweat. I can't breathe.. Water. I need water, my throat is so dry. I looked at the nightstand, the jug is empty. I dragged myself to the kitchen, I feel there is tones of weight loaded on my shoulders. I slowly gulped down the cold liquid making me feel better.

     I went back to my room, opened the glass windows to stand in the balcony.

My elbows rested on the railing, as looked up at the sky. It's 2am, the moon is still there. How would it be like to get high up there, away from everyone. I thought to myself as fresh breeze hit my bare skin, drying my sweat.

      The same dream, same person, same place and the same useless me..

Useless me made me smile. I sat on the sill, my legs dangling into nothing but air. Should I jump from here? Will I die this time? Last time only my arm broke..

'Oh God, I have lived enough. 25 years are enough. Don't you think it's time end this brutal game...?'

What's left to be done now? I wish I was never born. They would have lived happily without. There would've been no burden named 'SARAH'. Oh how I wished my life to be short... but each day feels like years.

**

Kang Sarah.

23 years old, a doctor.

Colourful eyes, long light brown hair.

Anger issues, depressed, cold.

"Noona!" Adam's annoying *** yelled, "come on let's go." Ignoring him I continued to do my work. "I'm asking you last time, are you not going?" He asked as Mike rolled his eyes. "No" I replied. Both of them groaned, "please eomma said I HAVE to bring you along with us. Please let's go~" Adam pleaded and sat on my lap. "Adam behave, you are not a child anymore" I pushed him away.

" You know? You used to love me" he said sadly. "Yeah you use to love me too" I said. "Yah! I still love you!"

    "Noona?" Completely ignoring Mike, I continued my work. "I'm tired, please let's go..." his tone sounded tired or maybe irritated. Sighing, he continued once again "I still have some work at the office and all the arrangements at home." Honestly, I pity him. Father made him do work like he is a robot.

    "Noona~ my lovely sissy" Adam pouted, to me it wasn't adorable. I think my book is more adorable. Oh my lovely book, that I definitely not read.

   Adam sometimes become very affectionate with me and sometimes he is a total bitch. He is like this since we were young. He always used to sit on my lap and would ask me to kiss on his cheeks, good old days.

"Stay in your filthy apartment if you want to. What do you think of Yourself? We're a joke to you? Begging you to come with us" Mike called at the top his voice. "But remember this" he went on "don't you dare step in that house again!"

"Hyung stop yelling" Adam interrupted his little out brust. "So what should I do? Start begging again? It's been an hour since you are begging her!"

   "I didn't ask you to come here and beg" I said as I put my laptop away, "you can leave if you want to" glaring right into his eyes as he glared back, "get out!" I growled at him.

   "Noona.." Adam held my hand as Mike left with a loud bang. "Please let's go, all the family is gathered after so many time Adam pleaded, Colin is back from his honeymoon. Amber is here with husband, Zoe-" I cut him off, "I am not coming!" I growled. I pushed him out of my apartment. "Noona!" He continued banging on the door, "open the door sissy! "

"**** you bitch!"

"Noona!" Adam declared, "how dare you say that!? "

   **** those stupid gatherings. Ignoring him, I went to the bathroom, taking off my clothes as I turned on the shower. I got chills when my body came contact with the cold water. Mike's words kept repeating in my mind. Tears fell down like waterfall or maybe I am over exaggerating, it can be water from the cold shower I was taking.

Who even wants to step in that house?

     I stared at my reflection in the mirror, no one could tell if I cried or not. There was no shine in my eyes, the most beautiful feature God blessed me with. But then I asked myself, was there supposed to be shine? Do you even deserve it?

**

Kang Daeun: Her father. Brown skin and brown eyes.

Kang Eva: Her Mother. Grey eyes and pale skin.

Kang Mike: her brother. 2 years younger than Sarah.

Kang Adam: brother, 7 years younger than Sarah.

Kang Heejae: Sister, 10 years younger than Sarah.

**

      "Unnie you came late today?" Chanri asked. Chanri is the only person Sarah had a normal talk with, they are type of friends. "Yeah.. I was busy with something" Sarah replied with a frown, she looked around the lively hospital. "OK you can go to your office, your patients are waiting for you" she smiled and I nodded. Many bowed and greeted Sarah as she went to her office, that was it, no other word than 'good afternoon Doctor Kim'.

     Sarah liked how people didn't approached her because of her cold, mysterious aura. She was tall and elegant with an impressive flair to her presence. Her skin was very pale and clear and her were long, reached till her mid thigh, light brown. Her big emotionless and cold eyes that no one can stare into.

     After she was done with my patients, she went to the reception, wanted to inform Chanri that she was leaving but Chanri wasn't there. "Hey you?" Sarah tapped on the desk, trying to get the purple head's attention, "I forgot your name" she tried to remember what was her name.

"It's Yuna" she smiled. "Oh right," Sarah unconsciously wrote her on the pad I she was holding, "OK told Chanri that I left." she turned around to leave, "wait Unnie!" Yuna called after me, Unnie? Seriously? She's older than me but I let it pass.

"Yes?" Sarah asked bluntly.

 " Can you erase my name Unnie?" Again with the Unnie thing, Sarah deeply inhaled and "why should I do that?" She smiled at Sarah, "what if someone read my name?" Sarah stared at her, lame people these days, always asking for trouble.

  "I will not" Sarah replied, "you are saying like no one in the hospital knows your name."

   "Hahaha unnie-" she cutted her off, "you know you are older than me?"

She again showed me her stupid smile, "I know but you look older.."

Telling a lady that you look older is the most disrespectful thing.

It's not like I care but I do care.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "get lost" Sarah said coldly as I left the building, going towards the parking lot.

"Sarah wait!"

   OK. Take a deep breath. You're okay. It's Completely fine if a few people bother you when you are not having a good time.

    Sighing deeply, she turned to see Tom, my colleague whom she definitely not like. He grinned and she just stared at him. "Come on smile a bit, you will look more beautiful" he encouraged.

"What do you want Tom?"

    He sighed, "are you free tonight? Can we go out?"

"No, I have a sexy date with my TV and a bowl of ramen."

  He laughed, "you are leaving early today?" she rolled my eyes, it's been a month, he is asking to go out with him. He is player, everyone in the hospital knows that. "Come on Sarah, you always let me down.." He stepped closer. "Do you know what that means?" she paused

"That means no. A big fat, frozen, stinky No!"

     "Oh my heart," pretending to be hurt, "don't be so harsh on me."

"I'll be leaving" I sat in my car and drove away. Leaving his *** yelling after me.

Can't he see I am not interested?

It was Sunday, my day off from hospital. Just chilling and lazing around. I didn't eat all day long because I'm too tired to cook myself something, now I'm hungry. I'm still thinking weither I should order something or sleep.

Hearing the door bell, I came back to reality. who in the heavens is here? I rolled my eyes and walked towards the door with lazy steps. Opening the door, I rolled my eyes again, "hey sweetie how are you?"

"I'm good" I replied nonchalantly, "please come in.. Mother." She smiled and gladly came inside, sat on the sofa like a perfect lady.

"What brings you here?" I asked as I sat across from her. My lazy-self was gone now. "What kind of question is that?" She said with stern tone, "can't I visit my daughter who has forgotten me?"

I wanted to sneer loudly. What a joke, like you care.

"Why didn't you came to the mansion?"

"I was busy. Had some patients waiting for me."

"You could have taken a day off. Those patients can have another appointments."

"Being a doctor is no joke, Mom" I always say that word like I don't say that, you know adding a little pressure so that they can realize that I don't like them. But they don't.

"And family is no joke too."

"Family?" I forced out a laugh, "you are so funny" I showed her my fake smile. I wonder how long its been, since I smiled genuinely.

"Sarah behave yourself and sit straight!" she ordered. I inhaled deeply and plopped down more, I don't care. "You are becoming more and more rude!"

"If you are here to argue with me" I looked at her "please leave."

"I'm not arguing. I just ask why didn't you came" she was raising her voice. I was losing my temper too.

"It was you guys who decided to make me a doctor. Now I am a doctor and doctors don't have to go on stupid gatherings" I replied, my voice tainted with anger. I looked down, I knew she was staring at me.

Silence.

She spoke again, "let's forget about about that, honey. I'm here to spend time with you." My eyes didn't left the floor.

Oh great!

"It's time for dinner, what did you cook. Hmm? Let's eat together" she said gently, "what did you cook?" She asked again.

"...nothing" I replied bluntly. "Oh God, Sarah? Why are you so lazy?" She sighed, "but since I am here. I'll cook for you honey" she smiled and went towards the kitchen.

I don't know why but suddenly I felt like crying. My chest felt heavy...

"Don't just sit there, come and help." While I washed the rice, she kept talking about random stuff and only replied when it was needed. Though she had changed, showing me gentleness and care won't do anything.

It's too late...

Now I don't care if they change their behavior towards me or not, care about me or not. Things would have been better if she showed me this gentleness and sweetness when I needed it. Now they are just wasting their time.

We sat down at the table, eating, a comfortable silence, well atleast for me. I can see that she's hesitating, she wanted to say something but I kept quiet. "Did you like bibimbap? Eat more dear."

"Hmm it's good," besides everything. Mom's cooking is really good. She cleared her throat, I wonder what is thing that is making her so nervous.

I hate it when she stares at me, just like now, "if you want to say something just say it. Don't just stare at me" I finally said as I looked up from my plate. She let out a nervous laugh but didn't said anything. I started eating again.

"How many times have I told you not to pull that long face? You look ugly."

"Because I am ugly."

"Smile Sarah!" she said, I didn't. She sighed in defeat.

"You know she began, a two days ago, your fathers friend came." I just hummed in response, not really paying attention.

"You know the reason why he was here?" I narrowed my eyes and bit my inner cheek, seeing that unknown smile plastered on her face. "No" I replied unposed. "They brought a proposal for you. Marry their son."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"No.." I replied unfazed. Like what the hell? Please keep your proposal to yourself. "Sweetie... The guy is handsome, cute and he is rich. I know you will live happily-"

"I already said no" I replied looking directly into her eyes which I know is very very very disrespectful thing. But I am fed up already.

"Don't you dare stare at me like that Kang Sarah! I'll rip your eyes out, look down! "I was still staring, "I said look down!" She yelled banging her hand on the table. After a few seconds I finally looked away.

She sighed loudly, "listen first. Do you even know who he is-:

And there I zoned out, marriage? Not in my nightmares I would have thought about marriage. And what is this, brought a proposal for you? It's not 90s or 80s. I can't take it anymore. They are no one to decide such an important matter by themselves. I felt angry, angry can't even describe my situation right now.

"I have work tomorrow, it's getting late.." I told my mom who was constantly ranting about the guy. "Kang Sarah I am talking to you!"

"But I am not!" I snapped.

"Whether you like it or not, you are going to get married!" She screeched.

"Whatever you say. You and I both know you can't make me marry whoever you want to" I replied nonchalantly. "Your father gave his words to them" she declared.

"None of my business. He didn't even thought once about my opinion. I won't marry anyone."

"I didn't asked you, I told you."

"No, you can't it's my life and you don't have any right to take any decisions in my life."

"Oh I don't? You can't say that, I raised you. You eat good and studied good because of your father. You got everything you need from the day you came in this world and till now. And you are telling me I don't have any right on you."

"I didn't ask for any of that, I didn't asked you to give me birth.. And if you did, it was your responsibility."

"SARAH!! .....listen "

From there I stopped listening again, lost in my own thoughts . She is right I eat their food and they spend their money on me. If I knew that everything is going to be like this...

I wish I died the day I was born. How can I pay them back, By marring someone I don't know? I didn't plan on marrying yet or maybe never. Just what the **** is happening. I need some space, I need time to think and....

"okay! I am leaving " I stood abruptly.

She stopped, "What?"

"Please lock the door when you leave." I said as I picked my bike's key and helmet and left the house. I could hear here calling my name but.. Who cares.

I was driving, not knowing where I was going, lost in my thoughts... just wanted go away from everything else.

I stopped near a bridge and glanced at phone it's 3:00 A.M. and there 43 missed call and 19 messages. Not bothering to call back or see messages I sat on the edge off the bridge, thinking is there anyone else whose life is just like me. I thinked of jumping in the water but...

I am a coward.

A lots of thoughts are running in mind. Never knew there would be a day like this...