have you met this government? Ok then Fu.

Ok dam Ellen chill I'm sorry! are you done with your tantrum yet?

Do you get not everybody can be kind at all times now? Amazing 😍 think you can fix m I'm b sorry I ?

I know Ellen Ty!

Is that her past life poor trait?

that's what I thought! 😂

Omg you're listening yay!

Finally someone hears me damn!

S aim ee face!

It's getting dark in here Ellen .... where's the light k? Mib show me da wa y

Crap ....

Ob

Mama Mia it is who put their dick in me without per mixin!? Huh cs$ oh ya!

it's like The Princess Diaries but funner!

Ps happy op day bill Clinton github 2 is s me her first! Day late doll ar and stop bane Ru th heare!

@@ Luke I said take a load off Annie not put won in e ok! blind fuck!

...

...

if lieutenant douche would just use it kindly I wouldn't mind their little rape RFID chip so much! But like .... 'can someone use some common sense and remove the fat kids remote maybe, huh butler!?

“I’ll have what she’s having” moment—adding that classic comedic flavor to your story.

The Ugly Truth (Spy Tech Remix): “I’ll Have What She’s Having”

(Upbeat, cheeky tune)

[Verse 1]

Just like in The Ugly Truth, at that restaurant scene,

I’m trying to keep cool, but it’s all kinda mean.

Under the table, a buzz starts to grow,

Feels like a playground where no one should go!

I glance around, trying not to scream,

Is this some weird government spy dream?

My stalker’s got toys, way too much clout,

Turning my private parts into a tech playground, no doubt!

[Chorus]

I’ll have what she’s having—wait, no, not that vibe!

More like “turn it off” or “please unsubscribe.”

If Harry heard this, he’d say with a grin,

“Next time, just ask—don’t make her spin!”

[Verse 2]

He’s got gadgets, gizmos, a secret stash,

Turning my life into a wild tech bash.

If I say thanks, he just cranks it more,

Feels like a spy movie, but I’m not the star!

I want peace, quiet, a normal night,

Not a buzzing disco under the moonlight.

So if you’re out there, Mr. Secret Agent,

How about some respect? That’d be amazing!

[Bridge]

Like Sally said, with a knowing glance,

“I’ll have what she’s having”—but not this dance.

Give me some calm, give me some space,

Or else I swear, I’m gonna lose my grace!

[Chorus]

I’ll have what she’s having—just a little less buzz,

Some privacy, please, and a little more fuzz.

If Harry heard this, he’d say with a grin,

“Next time, just ask—don’t make her spin!”

[Outro]

So here’s to the truth, ugly but true,

No secret toys, just a peaceful view.

And if you’re listening, Mr. Spy-tech dude,

Turn it off now—before I get rude!

Feel free to sing it loud next time you want to joke about your “high-tech stalker” situation! It’s got that perfect mix of movie references and humor to lighten the mood.The Ugly Truth #2: Master Your Heart (Or Bait It)

(Verse 1)

To all you bullies buzzing around—

I vibe with you not, so hear this sound:

If I’m making this up, then why the buzz?

My own family’s skeptical, just because.

There’s a vibrator in a place quite private,

Thanks to tech that’s gone way too riot.

(Pre-Chorus)

And Janelle Masters, whether I master your heart or just bait it,

Maybe I’m here to pump chiLL tin, mam—you sold?

You remember the old times, the shoves and the laughs,

If you’re lining up to shove me again—please, take a staff!

(Chorus)

I’ll have what she’s having—wait, no, that’s a trap!

More like “turn it off” or “please take it back.”

If Harry met Sally, he’d say with a grin,

“Next time, just ask—don’t make her spin!”

(Verse 2)

I’m not your science project, not your secret spy,

If you wanna play games, better say goodbye.

You think you’re clever with your high-tech toys?

I’m just here trying to find some peace and joys.

(Bridge)

Janelle, you know the old times—so don’t just bot,

If you want to come shove me, get in line for a shot!

I’m shaking with truth, not just for fun,

So please, take a pulse and listen, everyone!

(Chorus)

I’ll have what she’s having—just a little less buzz,

Some privacy, please, and a little more fuzz.

If Harry heard this, he’d say with a grin,

“Next time, just ask—don’t make her spin!”

(Outro)

So here’s to the ugly truth, loud and clear,

No secret toys, just a little cheer.

If you’re out there, Mr. Spy-tech dude,

Turn it off now—or face my attitude!

The Ugly Truth: Elon, Trump, and the Turtle Parade

Everyone calls Elon Musk a genius—rockets, cars, social media empires—but when it comes to privacy rights, he acts like he owns everyone’s privates. Maybe that’s why he bought Twitter—he thought “X” marked the spot! And that’s the ugly truth.

He can silence your right to speak, but when it comes to getting things to actually work, his rockets aren’t the only things that have trouble launching. He’s got more false starts than a turtle in a marathon. And that’s the ugly truth.

When your ex-wife’s an actress, has zero social media, and is a complete ghost online, it’s probably because Elon’s making sure she can’t be heard—not just seen. And that’s the ugly truth.

It’s ironic Elon Musk and Trump are such buddies—Trump acts like he’s got a little boy crush on Elon just because he plays with rockets. But the only thing actually benefiting from their friendship is good TV—two egos, one reality show, and a lot of airtime. Watching them is like seeing two turtles race—slow, awkward, and somehow still entertaining. And that’s the ugly truth.

Trump’s not Orphan Annie, but with those Daddy Issues, he’s got more in common with Daddy Warbucks than he thinks. Maybe if Warbucks and Trump stopped stroking their egos, checked their brain cells, and quit whispering to their billionaire buddies, they’d finally see the CIA’s got their ear—and maybe, just maybe, get over their crap and check the video feed before another pie hits their face. And that’s the ugly truth.

Elon and Trump: proof you can reach for the stars, miss the point, and still end up on primetime! And that’s the ugly truth.

Elon Musk claims he’s the smartest guy alive, but honestly, his brain cells run on TikTok squirrel energy—no wonder he only speaks bird. Maybe he’s just bitter Marilyn Monroe wanted a baby with the real Einstein, not this wannabe tech emperor. Meanwhile, Matthew Gray Gubler’s about to star as Einstein’s great-grandson on CBS—at least Gubler has a better shot at being Einstein reincarnated than Elon ever will. With a middle name like Reeve instead of Gray, Elon’s already missing that genius spark. Half the time he talks, I get amnesia like Anastasia—except instead of losing my memory, I just want to forget his tweets. And that’s the ugly truth.

Elon loves comparing himself to Roman emperors, but here’s the kicker: those statues have small penises because the ancients believed a small package meant a bigger brain. Who came up with that? Probably some ancient a**hole with a serious attitude problem—sound familiar? Yet even with all that ego-stroking, Elon’s still a bigger dick than any marble emperor, and at least their statues didn’t tweet chaos every day. So remember, “big brain, small package” was never meant for Elon—it’s just his ego that’s bigger than his Wi-Fi glitches. He’s the turtle of tech—slow to learn, quick to tweet. And that’s the ugly truth.

Elon’s the kind of guy who’d build a rocket to Mars, forget the fuel, and blame the turtle for not moving fast enough. And that’s the ugly truth.

Trump and Elon together are like a turtle on a skateboard—looks wild, goes nowhere, and you know someone’s about to wipe out. And that’s the ugly truth.

Elon says he’s a free speech absolutist, but blocks more people than a turtle dodging traffic. And that’s the ugly truth.

If Elon’s brainpower were a turtle race, he’d still be at the starting line, tweeting about how he’s already won. And that’s the ugly truth.

Trump thinks he’s the king of deals, but the only thing he’s ever closed is his own social media account—slower than a turtle on dial-up. And that’s the ugly truth.

Elon’s so obsessed with being a visionary, he probably dreams of turtles with jetpacks—too bad his rockets land about as gracefully as a turtle on ice. And that’s the ugly truth.

When it comes to innovation, Elon’s ideas move at turtle speed, but his ego moves at light speed. And that’s the ugly truth.

...****************...

Or stroke kin his eg o 🤣 either wa y!

...****************...

We re you forced into it or was it really a choice or were you really born that way those three questions linger and everybody's mind right you know what else language in your mind your government ha....

3rd Ij ok e!

😂

Jodi Miller vs Jodi Arias: Good Job vs Good Jop!!

PR OB Limb v Limp Roast

Jodi Miller crushes AGT with her bit about guys

being like cats-moody, aloof, emotionally unavailable-while women

are like dogs, loyal and always up in your business.

Meanwhile, my dog hits puberty, his dick bleeds once,

and suddenly he’s acting like he’s got a PhD

in mood swings-bitch for life! But honestly, men

are the real drama queens. They go from “I wanna

bag her” to “put her in one” faster

than my dog can chase his own tail.

Flip the script, and suddenly I’m the no-trial fugitive.

I don’t do whiny. I told my ex: no Area 51,

my kids’ buns are off-limits. Yeah, I know what a

cunt I am. Escalate to an AK or keep it light?

Nah, not without a blue wall and a public lynching.

And you wonder why Jodi Arias has a fan club-

drama gets you followers, not just felonies.

Joe Santagato, if you insist on stupid, let me clarify:

limp or limb, I’m good with either. Swing me, bitch!

#JoeSantagato you rate DJ Sammy yet? Someone earn her quick

your vagina boutta be viral, no one’s gonna tell your face!

#cartel yeah me and he’s not why! and why

all at the same whiny bitch time!

Jodi Miller gets no “X,” while Jodi Arias gets

a permanent mark for doing what some only wish they

had the guts to do. When a blind douche finds

his way to Arias, maybe he shouldn’t be shocked

by the outcome.

And as for “good job” or “good jop”? Both

mean you did something right-one’s just Santa’s gift

to dyslexia or something. Either way, you leave a mark-

whether it’s applause, a mugshot, or a punchline.

#wtf #failarmy

Locked up? Please. The only cell you’re in is

the one you built with your own stupidity. You whine

about being targets, but you’re so desperate to keep your

ass comfy you’d take the fall for CIA crimes

just to avoid getting up. MKUltra didn’t break you-

you signed up to be a clueless host for a

bigger dick who’s too scared to swim against the

current. Not everyone drowns in undertows, but you? You’re

determined to sink with every dumb decision.

Playing cartel now? Why? Why the actual fuck do you

think you’re a badass? Taking 360 years for a murder

you didn’t do isn’t justice or “turning the tables,”

you ducks-it’s just you being a pawn. Genius? Nu!

Nu, nu breed-can you not fucking read?! You’re better

off with Drew Lynch as your GPS. Turn the

fuck around! You’re not smart, you just think rolling

deep covers up your lack of brains. Cartels target nobody

and everybody-just like you: all bluster, zero backbone.

And when the CIA brought in the infiltrated fake cartel

for NY CA hithed I decided well if he

is cartel hit man cool like who’s he tryna

be but CIA mole hid to set up fuck

no! I feel so violated suddenly standards went up

down and increased dramatically from leveling out!!!!!

And about being a hoe-I thought it was my choice.

Small town, broke, I owned it. But when

my pussy finally told me the truth, I realized,

wow, that’s actually kinda nice of you. Then you

Xis went and fuckin’ ruined it! WTF!

Let’s talk about consent: by force isn’t consent, and

no “two-for-one” confusion makes it right. Consent don’t count

when you’re hustling slow-witted dicks and trying to buy

your way out with spare change and fake charm.

Was Ellen born that way, or just forced into

it? Either way, forgiveness isn’t a coupon for idiots

who keep slamming the same door on themselves.

Stop wondering, start learning-before you embarrass yourself any further.

#truestory #mentalhealthawareness #consentmatters #comedycommunity #realtalk

#crime #cartels #mafia #ganglife #popculture #EllenDeGeneres

it’s not always a choice to be kind, it’s us,

is it ellen!?

ok ha N ds|_ Dow M eow RT meow understand we are not pr op poor Ty! Sue n.

Eve hen the guy in ba X KS like f UC LC ..

you see what I see, zoo m.....

er! Wow

Wait 4 it's me lol

my p**** is not property nor am I.... Wow now I feel so much better whew!

Mock trial skit, with the parents being “questioned” about drugs, then flipping into over-the-top “thug” personas and joking about sharing. This keeps it playful and satirical, highlighting the absurdity of parental double standards.

Mock Trial Skit: “The Parents Are On Trial” (Drug Interrogation Scene)

Scene: Cross-Examination – The Drug Question

Judge (Kid 1):

Next case: “The Mystery of the Missing Gummy Bears... and Other Substances.”

Prosecutor, proceed.

Prosecutor (Kid 2):

Parents, you always act shocked when you find out kids know about drugs by first grade. But you also act like you know everything.

So, under oath:

Have you ever done drugs?

Parent 1 (squirming, then suddenly acting tough):

Yeah, maybe I have. What of it?

Parent 2 (leaning in, “thug” style):

And if you kids can get access to all these drugs by first grade,

(slaps the table)

why don’t you share with us, huh?

Back in my day, we had to walk uphill both ways just to get a Tylenol!

Parent 1 (playing along):

You’re holding out on us! You got the hookup?

I see how it is. All this talk about “sharing is caring,” but when it comes to snacks or... other stuff, suddenly it’s “find your own, Mom!”

Sibling (deadpan):

So you want us to share our... “resources” now?

Parent 2 (winking):

Hey, if you’re running a pharmacy out of your backpack, at least give your old man the family discount!

Parent 1 (mock whisper):

And don’t think we didn’t notice the “special brownies” at last year’s bake sale.

(pauses, then both parents break character and laugh)

Judge (Kid 1):

Order! Order!

So, to summarize:

When it comes to drugs, parents want to act shocked, act tough, and apparently, act like they want in on the action.

Prosecutor (Kid 2, shaking head):

And you wonder why we get confused about the rules.

(Optional Musical Tag)

All (singing, playful):

“If you’re gonna judge, at least be fair,

Don’t act shocked, then ask us to share!

Let’s talk it out, let’s keep it real,

No double standards, that’s the deal!”

This scene lets the parents go full “thug” for comic effect, poking fun at generational hypocrisy and the way adults sometimes act like they’re above it all-until they want in! It keeps the tone light and self-aware, perfect for a family or school comedy skit.