WARNING

Self harm

Suicide talk

She's just a disappointment. She knows it's the truth. She wishes she was the perfect daughter. She wishes someone just knew. She wishes her parents knew how she really felt. But she can't tell them. She just wants her heart to heal. It's nothing her parents did to make her feel this way. All they do is make her happy and take care of her every day. She is just a teenage girl with a helpless heart. She wants to make her parents proud, but all she does is sit in her room in the dark. When things happen to make her upset, she always takes it out on them and turns into a nervous wreck. She tries her best to be the best daughter she can be. They might not think she tries. But they just dont see. They dont see the nights she stays up crying in her room. They don't see the times she says she's ok, but its a lie. Theres things they dont know, and thats ok. All she can do is hope that one day she finds someone who understands her some day. But she knows she won't. She sits in she room all day with a blade in hand, cutting into her skin. She covers the scars and prays to stop. One night, she got into a fight with her mom. so she grabbed the gun and put it to her head and was about to pull the trigger, but then her dad walked in. He begged her to stop as she cried. he runs and hugs her. she cried in his arms, and he took the gun, but she couldn't do it anymore. He told her that she needed to go to the hospital. because he could feel blood going through her jacket from the cuts, and she told him no. the next day, he asked her if she wanted to go to the store with him. She said yes, but he could tell she had cut again. When she got into the car her started driving.He took her to the hospital and made her go in. as they go in, she begged him to let her go home, but he made her go. they bring them into a hospital room, and they tell her she is gonna need an I.V. And she needs to stay for days. She begged to go home, but they tell her that she has lost too much blood, but she refuses. her dad tells her that he has to leave her there, and he walks out. She crys as they put an I.V. in her arm. A few hours later, she falls asleep, and the doctor takes out the I.V. and transfer some blood in her arm so she has good blood since she lots so much. She wakes up, and her dad is there, and he is checking her out of the hospital so she can finally leave.

Ok, maybe they're right. Maybe Lilly is annoying. Maybe she is a burden. Maybe she is pretty. Maybe she is fummy. She can't ever tell, tho they switch up so fast its like a competition for their love. A goal. A finish line stabbing into her soul. Playing so many different roles. Just to be whole. She wonders if she'll ever hit that line. She wonders if she'll ever get across that pole. If she does, what would they say? Will they treat her the same way they do every day? Will they run away? Will they turn her gray? Or will they finally stay? She's exhausted. She can't keep thinking like this. Just for their forgiveness. She's done saying sorry. She's out of the competition. She keeps missing. She's sick of the hissing. She's never winning. So they can walk away. She's not begging them to stay. Their betrayal was louder than their words. Now please fly away like birds. Leave Lilly alone. And never text her phone. Because she's done. She's done with you. She's done with everyone. Except for the one person she can always trust Sarah. Sarah was always there for her. Even when sarah was down. Now sarah moved so she couldn't see her. She can only call her. So she was done with them she was about to cut but she remembered Sarah and stopped. But she knows she will stop. For Sarah. The next day, she showed up to school and realized that everyone was trying to ignore her. She realized that she was right. She would never cross that line. Never go over that finish line for their love. In class, she cried not because of anything she just cried. When she got home, she went to her room. wrote notes for everyone she loves explaining everything. at night, she snuck into the bathroom and grabbed a pill bottle. as she cried, she took them. The next day, her parents found her on her bedroom floor, the notes on the bed, and the pill bottle on the floor next to her. Her mom broke down and called 911. A few hours later, she finally woke up. she woke up confused she thought she was gonna die that night. but no, she woke up in the hospital bed with I.V. in her arm. She realized her parents found out she hadn't eaten in days and had been cutting for months. She saw them crying next to her hospital bed, and she finally broke down and told them everything. a few weeks later, she got out, and Sarah moved back. They were finally happy again. They went to school. They didn't get bullied anymore. She had her best friend again. Until a new girl moved to her school. She got bullied for not speaking English well. and being from Korea. Lilly saw her getting bullied and stopped it, and they eventually became friends.

The end