Being the first born of a Nigerian parent is not always that easy when you think of the heartache and struggle one has to go through.

kayla was the first child of Mr. and Mrs. Clement

,a devoted Christian who places value on both big and small things; a diligent,humble, and hard-working people.

They owned a small cottage and a piece of land where they farm,not too far from their home.

We weren't that wealthy, but it was enough to put food on our table,well, at least until my siblings came in the picture.

Aiden and filora weren't twins but they looked and behave like one and were greatly admired by others because both were very brave and intelligent,and I loved them to the bone,and I was willing to do anything for them.

Even if at that time, I meant giving up my dream for them,it was easy as breathing because i never wanted any of them to struggle like my parentswere doing.

Now eighteen,I was supposed to enrolled in a local college,at the out sketch of town,and boy how exited I was.It has always being my dream to go to college but since we weren't that financial okay,I never voiced it out until dad said I would go.

Mom and Dad were ready to sponsor me; I didn't know how they were going to do it,so all I had to do was prepare myself,even if it was late; that was my plan until I had found out that Aiden and filora were held back from school because they had not pay their fees,since grade 2 and I laterdiscovered that all the money dad had then were been saved for my college entrance.

To be honest,that didn't sit well with me; I mean Aiden was barely twelve, and filora was just ten years old.

Every morning, I had to watch the joy on their faces every time they make a run for the school bus,and when they return back or the fight between themselves when they argue about a single spelling.

These made me happy, and I know they were too. Both were eager to learn new things, and they were happy to be taught.

Now what would happen to the eagerness to learn or the happy smile they always wear when going and coming back from school?I didn't want to think about that or the facts that our model society has so much patronized education to the point that without it,you have no stands.

"This is not right,I can't let this happen."

I pondered alone in my room.

The next morning,we sat down to eat the not so much of a breakfast,just rice and stew ,I had notice that Aiden and filora didn't have their usual happy expression "I guess they heard."I murmur to myself ,as I tried to eatsomething,I wasn't having the appetite but leaving the food meant wasting it and in my home that was forbidden,so I just took my spoon and forced a whole lot down my throat,which made me tear.

"Wow,calm down kayla no one is taking your food away."Mom queried

"Yeah."I replied hastily,just want to finish it and hurried to my room

"kayla."Dad called out to me

"Yes, Daddy?"I raised my head to face him

"Here,take this."Dad handed over to me an envelope

Which I took,I looked inside it was full of money,even if a sprite had told me that my parents had such money saved up,I would argue it.I looked at my pa in awe "this is a huge sum of money."

"Of course it is."Mom replied,"Your father and I had been saving it up for your college."

"Oh."I should be happy, but I am not saving it up? Means they had to work ten times harder than before,looking at both off them now,they looked old and haggard for their age,I looked at my father sadly"but dad..."

"It's okay."Father said "your mother is right,we have being saving up ever since you said,you dreamed of going to college.I already called the school; even if It's late they are ready to give you one more chance; so you have..."

As dad continued I half paid attention to him,as I observed my sisters at the other end,filora stared at her food blankly,trying to fight back tears,Aiden being the eldest one,was trying to act tough as she spoke to me

"Wow,big sis,you are going to college?I m happy for you.We are going to miss you."When he smiled, I knew he meant it.

I couldn't hold it in anymore and just teared up,I sob like a child.While dad just watched me confusedly; mom hurried to my side. "What is going on with you?"mom asked, worried."Why are you crying like a child?"

Instead of answering her, I cried harder, and then Aiden worriedly asked "was It'something I said?"he looked from dad to mom and then back to me,about to tear up."I am sorry,I didn't ..."

When I saw the single tear in his eyes, I hurried to his side and called him into my arms,I hugged him tightly as I said

"Oh, Aiden," I said between tears. "It is not something you did,I am so,so sorry."

"What?I don t understand?Why are you apologizing?You did nothing wrong." he said,confused

"No,I did everything wrong."I sob as I held his face up; I can't let them be driven to an edge this early .Can you ever forgive me?"I asked in tears

Aiden took my hand from her face,he teared up as well,and filora followed, "Of course, big sis."he sniffs and added."I forgive whatever you think you did wrong."He smiled, and it was the best.

"Thank you."I said and stood and patted both he and filora's head

"kayla." Father, who has been quiet called.

"Yes, Papa?" I answered as I dried my tears

"I don t know what happened or what you think you did wrong, but everything will be okay; alright?"

"Of course, Papa."I said as I returned to my seat,I knew what I had to do.My mind was made up and they are no turning back now.I looked up at my father who was observing me,perhaps waiting for me to say something,determined; I hand over the envelope back to him "I can't accept this,sorry papa."

While dad remained quiet,mom attacked me with questions, "What are you talking about now, kayla?This is your tuition fee and nothing else."

"Why?"Father calmly asked me I Signed."Dad,this money is meant for my tuition, right?"

"Yes."Dad replies "two years of it to be precise."He added as he ate

"Aiden and filora s fees will only take half of that money, right?"

"What are you trying to say, kayla?

Speak in a language I will understand."

He said as he looked at me weirdly. They all was

"Yes,sorry."I paused then continued "I think It's best if the money is used for their tuition and probably take care of few things in the house,God knows they are many things to take care off."

"Are you even listening to yourself kayla?For years you have been dreaming of college,even if you didn't say it out,we figured it out with the longing look you had your face whenever those college students pass by the shop."Mother was clearly angry,as she continue "we had to sell a lot of things,worked a lot of shift just for you to go to college,and now that the dream is finally close,you are giving it to your siblings?What is wrong with you?"

"But mom..."

"Don t you mom me,you re our first child kayla,and you must be educated,wither you like it or not.Your sisters are still young they can continue their education some other time but not you."

I watched my siblings from the corner of my eyes,their head was bent down and they were tremblely,no doubt crying from mother harsh words,I close my eyes as I prayed to a higher power for confidence and strength because I will need it to persuade my stubborn mother "no mother,that s not fair."

"What?"she was shocked,did I just challenge her?Papa remained silent and just watched.

Yeah in my family,things like breaking the house rules,which are a lot by the way; challenging and throwing wordings at your parents or elders wither they be in the wrong or not,is never permitted,devoted Christians,did I mention?

But this was my younger siblings. If I don t stand up for them now,when will I ever? I love them very much."Sorry if I sounded kind of rude, but I don t think this is the right way to go about it."

"And what do you know about the right way, kayla?You are just eighteen.Are you going to teach your parents how to do the right thing?" she asked, glaring

"Here we go again, our Nigeria parent, thinking we are too young to know what is wrong and what is right.

"That s not what I meant, mother."Annoyed now

"Oh really?What did you mean then?Please do tell."She added blankly

"Being the first child doesn't mean I have to be the only educated one in the family."I paused,looked from dad to mom,both just silently watched me and I continued "I can always go to college or university,If I study hard enough,sure it won t be that easy but I m your child,I have brains,I am confident,brave,hardworking.Mom I can do anything,work or go to school if I want to; not going now won t stop me in the future,but what about them?"asked pointing at Aiden and filora,who were now staring at me with hope in their eyes and I drew confident from that "mama,with every dune,society advances,and five years from now Aiden will be sixteen and filora fifteen can they still go to grade 1?No of course not,even if they tried; it will be too traumatic for them.The constant stare they will get from little kids,and they obviously can't go to college without coming out from grade school."Should I end it here,I pondered 'nope since they re giving this chance to raise my voice,I need to lay it all out.I murmur to myself.

But then filora spoke up, "Big sister,I am sure that s not what Papa and Mama meant.I mean, we can always go to school again, right?"she asked but turned to mom

But I replied her "how are you so sure about that filora?If you haven t notice things are not really going smoothly for us,if this chance passed by,do you think you and your brother will ever be able to go to school?What happened if the work you decided to do in the future needs some well-educated,what will you do then?"

She slumped in her chair. "Oh...I didn't think of it that way."

"Yes,that because you are still young and you need me,papa and mama to do the thinking,I can still go to school,at twenty-eight even thirty; I can school.Married woman go to school,college and universities but not grade A. mama, think about it. Five years coming, I will be twenty – three,I can take pressure,I do, and whatever the world throws at me.

I mean, I m a Clement for crying out loud,and as a Clement, we were taught to be strong,bold, and upright.

So it doesn't matter what year mother,I can always go to school,but no them,when their fresh memory begin to dime and they start losing interest in schools or learning what will you do then?

Because either we like it or not,it will happen."I said as I looked at my mother for her to come back to that.

Instead,mom just stared at me with no possible come back,her expression was totally over the roof,father continued eating,pretending not to hear anything,but I noticed,the smile at the corner of his lips.

Then mom turned to silent father,"aren't go you going to say anything about this?"she asked him

"What do you mean 'say anything?isn't that what you are doing?"he replied by asking her

"David Clement?"mom called dad by his name,which she always does when pissed "your daughter just said she is not going to college,and you are not going to do anything?You are too clamming for this."

Dad signed tired dad refuted,mimicking mom,"Joy Clement ,I don t see you doing anything."

While Aiden and filora were laughing at the sound of Father's voice,I just stared at my parents' weirdly; then it dawned on me,I looked at Father puzzled "dad?"

"Yes."He answered without looking at me

"Did you know I was going to say something like that?"I asked him

"What?How would he know something like that?"mom, in turn, asked me

Nope,he shouldn't have remained calm when I refused the money,he must have known,I looked at him again "No,no mom,I am sure dad knew how today would turn out," I stared at him,the added "right dad ?"

"Haha,haha, you are not going to leave me alone until I answer you, right?"

"Most definitely, dad,"

He just smiled at me,"I won t say I knew,more like got the intuition."He paused then stared at me,"you are your mother's daughter,so It's expected,but are you going to be okay staying at home?"

"I can manage,dad ,don t worry about me."I smiled at him,but mother wasn't happy about it

"I can't believe you are giving her the go-ahead,we struggle all these years just for her to what? Throw it away?"mom was still furious about it,but dad had to calm down.

"Honey,if this is the decision she has made,who are we to stop her? As long as she knows what she is doing is fine,right?"

"That s not what I am saying."Mother replied to him

I very well understand what mother was trying to say,even though I didn't imagine I would be able to give up my longtime dream just like that "mother I understand what you are trying to say."

"Do you, kayla?Because I am starting to doubt that,"

"Mom, I do understand what you are trying to say,but you are looking at it from the wrong angle," I said confidently. This made Father look at me confusedly

"Oh,is that so?"

"Yes mom,I know I have always dreamt of going to college and going beyond that,and I still am dreaming about it and I know one day I will achieve it all but right I am not throwing away my dreams I am merely just changing it.Instead of dreaming for myself,I am dreaming for my siblings."Mom for once was looking at me with a thoughtful expression,"so I think it will be okay,even if It's not my dream."

Mom signed at loud; with a worried look,she asked me,"then what will you be doing at home?We are not rich and in this corner of town to get a better pay job,you must be at least a college graduate; you know that,right?"

"I know that,but It's alright,I can work with you in your shop and dad's on the farm.I can even sell some vegetables and fruit in the counter market; surely I will make some money. isn't that okay?"

"Seriously,why am I even wasting my time talking sense into you? You are stubborn,just like your father."

Laughing,"Mother,and here I thought I was exactly like you."

"You thought wrong,dear."

"I don t think so," dad added and looked at me,"you are exactly like your mother,stubborn to the born."

We all laughed at mom's shocked expression,"You...How dear you pig head."

"Coming from a dog head,that s funny," dad slammed mom

We all laughed at dad and mom's teasing on the dinner, and once again, the happiness returned to my sister's face,and I,for one,was very glad.