Hey guy's, I am Jennie. It's not my real name. No one use their name when they say their story, right?. I to no difference from other authors! Right......

Mmm it's just my life story and some small felling about my life that is how it is. In other words it's just some rubbish of my life *sign*

From the start my family doesn't like girls. It's unfortunate yeah I know. But what do I do? It's all fate. I sometimes pray that please give me the choice of choosing my family. It's not that extreme that they are abusive like open talk about I am a girl. It is that action like when I was born my grandparents did not visit me, and it's not like it's hurt me. I am okay even now ;)

Every life will not go smoothly right? Mine too. I got a brother after one and half a year later and boom. I was omitted from the family, but I was still a child, so I don't know much about it. When I was in kids school my mom come and pick me up after school from van she always carries my brother for pick me up. So I lost something that is warm hug, and kisses like my friend that is same age of me and we studied in same class. She always told me that how her father played with her and brought toys and snacks for her.

Is it my fault that I felt jealous and stopped talking to her ? Yep I stopped talking to her and changed my desk to the front row from her and I got a silent friend who shares her snacks and tell me stories about her brother picking fight with her every day.

It is like she is printing me as her dairy that wrote her daily life. So I started to go to school obediently because I love school and my new friend and swing that is in the school. Swing is still my favorite one because it's not cowered like slide, and it doesn't need a partner like see-saw. It was all because of those classmates boosting their parents love for them, so I don't like to be with them, and it's actually felt uncomfortable. So I stopped all activities which needs group even I need a partner I will group with the chubby girl.

I gave her a nickname that is chubby because she was so cute and silent, so it suits her the best in my last year of kids school I met a mam that was new to our school. She is so concern about us and take special care of us. I didn't understand why she always started to talk more to us even though we didn't properly to her, she was patient with us and gave chocolate to us when we score good marks, so I started to study and do my homework properly just to get her chocolates.

That's it for Today let's meet tomorrow bye

𝓙𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓮

Hahaha but it was a last year, so it ended before it started. School ended and my enthusiasm ended. I didn't really mind that I can't see her anymore. I was a child back then so...... You know it was easy to move on....

My friend and I were first class, but unfortunately we are different class even though we meet in break, but it was just made a invisible wall between us. We suddenly have no talk between us.

It's even though hurt more, but I don't mind them.

In life my brother and I have very different level like he gets what he wants because he is small even my toys phone and have no friends because I am not allowed to play outside because of my gender

I was participated in Athletic because my father is interested in my 7th class, but I was talented. Just a tiny bit

In 9th class I was changed to other school and was hostel because it was two hours away from my home

There I felt so happy for my first three months. God is jealous that is I have been happy for long days. And I was blamed for stealing the money in the hostel no one believed me that I didn't take them. So I just stopped talking to everyone in the hostel. And I was sent to pt sir that was in charge to me and blamed by them for stealing.

It hurts like a hell I cried in bathroom for hours in night. I was practicing Athletic in morning and evening and attended class and in night I have study in hostel it becomes my routine

So I didn't even tell my parents that I was framed in the fear of not trusting by them, but I am slow to understand in schools.

That blamed me again and again for, but I was silent. Enduring is the worst part of the life it's like constantly on the fire of again blamed for stealing.

Even in classes those discriminate glares and avoiding showing their money from me is so painful. I blamed myself for something, but I don't know what it is? I was so clueless ait,ut it they only speak with me for something important if not no one speaks to me even in Athletic group I was in avoided list number one

School life becomes hell. Then it's stated to become spring because of my first love. Even though I really didn't know what it is ? I was so clueless. And I was caught by my pt sir and send to the parents our love letters and my scale is dropped to minus. And trust too they don't trust me and started to interact with me less frequently.

It all diverted into my little brother. But I was so scared and because of scared and ignore by my parents I thought of jumping down the building many times

I thought it will be nice if I am invisible to others. Even though it is so good to be loved, but it is not enough to be trusted. Because I am so insecure about him. I was always on watch because of my parents instructions and fight with the school about my love.

Every one knows about my love and my record of steeling money was a popular hit of gossip.

You know I became alone and there is no one for me to rely on. It becomes even lesser after the fight with the school with my parents. They didn't miss me. I was devastated and exhausted but what drained me is still an unknown one to me.

I was become slow on everything even my marks become very low. But they don't care about it. They just continue their life. So I cried a lot of days. I mean it, lots and lots of days until I found it is meaningless to cry anymore those days I found physical pain is so good then the pain in my heart, and it really helped to release my pain inside. Whenever I hit the wall I cut my hand to see the blood. I have an imagination like my pain is overflowed in the Jar when it has no space I cut my hand to realize it. It actually helped me very much to keep running. I will not say it is best option and not recommend to anyone who is bottle neck their emotions but just understand there is someone overthere is waiting for you to recognised by you just look into the mirror and live for thet person with the smile that never fade because of other's words and actions:)

I thought even though I cried I go to school I go to ground. I never laid back on my bed and I refused because it, makes me weaker and weaker day by day. So I started to avoid everyone and everything. I just did what I like to make myself happy. In this process I understand no one will be there for you every time. So I learned lot of things and kept my mind busy. So I literally forgot my parents. I don't need them. For money, I saved for my self from price money from the even

Oh! forgot to say I shifted into the football team, and I am the team captain. And I was so proud of it, and it becomes my pain reliever. I love it and I live for it but I didn't fully emerge in it I did both I mean athletes and football

it's so excausting and drained me physically but I mentally become healthy I learned a lot and lot of things. I saw what not others usually don't see.

I really say I became mature in lot of ways in those process I doubt myself for not performing well

Really...... I doubt myself and when I see someone better than me I felt worthless and it made me and my arora become silent and invisible......

Oh my god I got twoioooooo likes and a comment I am so happy right now hehe