My Miserable Buddy
introduction
The bright sun giving out shine to all
Born with miserable and pathetic destiny
the reason was even more distressed
It wasn't her facial features but the blood coming out of her new wounds
With made some satisfied while some worried
"How did you got that wound!?"
"Is someone is forcing you?"
"Yes kitsune please you know you can tell us"
"Yes sure you can kitsune"
Not at all born in luxury comfort and happiness
But sure you can make it happen
sure you can change your destiny
But how? That depends on "you"
The answer behind the how is not always easy to find
which gives it the impression of "impossible",
despite the fact the good time is waiting for you the choices and options that you make in desires,fear and confusion leads you away from it
Walking back to happiness is not easy especially when you are surrounded with the ones who don't want it in your life
Last meeting
I was standing in the middle of our favorite cherry blossom park
My hand was clenching my dress tightly
The one I loved from years
Stood there in front of his eyes filled with confusion and a little awareness
My eyes were filled my tears But I looked down
The tears threatening to fall down
And me? Trying to not let tears fall
"You need to say it please"
Something whispered inside me
I glanced at my Best friend who was standing near an iron pillar being nonchalant about everything
Pretending as if nothing is wrong
I glanced at with the corner of my eyes
She was wearing a scarf and goggles,she removed them"Go on" Her lips told me
my eyes meet his,I lifted my head Looked at him with determination and a vulnerable look
I spilled everything out in one go
It came out of my mouth, And I didn't knew how
I looked at him once again
And there was nothing in them
Except Silence and awareness
Silent as if he is unbothered by this all
I glanced at him with slight tears in my eyes biting my lower lip, clenching my dress,Whereas he? He was there his eyes didn't widen for a second, His eyes didn't turn teary, his expression didn't falter
I don't know if he was Broken inside
But there in front of me what i saw was a person
Almost unbothered by everything
From behind I heard footsteps
Someone was approaching us
I heart the loud tap of heels
The voice coming closer and closer
Nor i did looked away from his eyes
The world stopped there for us
I didn't turned to look who was approaching us I didn't care who it was
I just looked at him with slight teary eyes and vulnerably
Hoping he will understand one day
Suddenly someone pulled me by arm
someone put a blazer on my shoulders it was warm and comfortable
But my world it was only in his eyes
I didn't looked away until i heard a firm loud voice from behind
Jolyne
How long will you stare at him,You guys are over he is no longer yours
Kitsune
Let me stay here!!
Sao didn't give me any reaction she just shrugged and looked at him their eyes meet and there was a warning in Sao's eyes "don't you dare to" and sao nodded looking at me acknowledging my rejection while glancing at me from top to bottom and left
Hikari
If that's what you want
Kitsune
I am really sorry Hikari
Kitsune
You need to understand me
Kitsune
I am so sorry for hurting you
Kitsune
I know its all my fault
Kitsune
I shouldn't have made you go through this all
Kitsune
Thankyou for everything hikari
I bowed while a tear slipped out of my eye
Hikari
I know, Relationship these days don't work without physical contact
His tone dropped, and my expression quickly faltered I wasn't angry but somewhat hurted
I tried to explain myself
Kitsune
What-what are you talking about
Kitsune
I never thought that way about you
Kitsune
I respected your boundaries
Kitsune
don't say this Hikari
Kitsune
Hikari listen to me
Kitsune
I know you are hurt I am so sorry
Kitsune
I know it's my fault
Kitsune
I thought we didn't talk since 1 year
Kitsune
So-so I would hurt me
Kitsune
But it hurts so much
Kitsune
It hurts so much Hikari I never thought I would go through this much
I spoke with cracked voice and tears rolling down my cheeks
He looked away and rolled his eyes
Kitsune
Hikari you need to understand
Kitsune
I am not emotionally blackmailing you
Kitsune
I-i just want to focus on my academics
Kitsune
I didn't cheated on you i swear on my life
Kitsune
Don't think that way
Hikari
I knew it.It was academics all the way along
Kitsune
Hey Hikari don't give me that please
I fell on my knees begging him to understand while tears rolling down my cheeks
Cleaned the dust on my clothes
While i just saw him cleaning
Hikari
I have been going through a lot
Hikari
There is a lot of things going through my head
Hikari
I am not able to understand or process
Hikari
I can't get my mind out of the work that I have i am a little busy these days
Just when I was about to tell him that its sudden but I can explain he spoke those words
My eyes were all red at this point swollen while tears falling down and down and down
I gave up, did he really not care
Did he always played with my feelings
he doesn't care? I am breaking up with him,and he is still thinking about work? Am i really not a part of his life? was this all a game? Is he really not hurt at all? Not even a flicker of pain...maybe i did the right thing
My shoulders slumped down
While he just tried to relieve me with "its alright"Maybe he thought my state was also an act
joining my hands together
Kitsune
Please understand me
Kitsune
I am sorry i do regret it i shouldn't have done this and trust me i know there are no other like you out there please
He again made me stand up and cupped my cheeks
he stepped back maintaining distance
Maybe already accepted everything
I broke into tears again"dear"? Why! It wasn't pain of being misunderstood it was pain of getting seperated
This time it was pure pain regret guilt
WHY YOU GIVE US RIGHT PEOPLES AT WRONG TIME
Back to the present
Reading it again?"a firm voice came from behind with high heels tapping on the floor
Kitsune
Oh,Funny you.... obviously not
Jolyne
Having fun? Princess...
Kitsune
Well you see I'm just tired
Jolyne walked towards her and removed her trench coat ,sat on the chair as she exhaled the cigarette
Jolyne
Good girls don't smoke
Kitsune
Oh-OF COURSE...they don't
Jolyne crushed the cig under her heels as she spoke
Kitsune
Nothing, I was just wondering th-
Another pair of big boots approached them
Kitsune
You came with your girls?
Jolyne
distractions approach attraction
Kitsune
Now that kind of fits the situation..
Zao zhin
What's going on girls?
Kitsune
We were just having conver-
Jolyne
Only If you let us then
Zao zhin
She is young why don't you ask her to join us
Jolyne
She is not young,You are old
Zao zhin
come on I'm only 36
Zao zhin
Doesn't matter You can still join
Kitsune
I am not looking into Spy things
Kitsune
Good opportunity for you
Zao zhin
You have the potential why don't you become an agent too?
Kitsune
I'm preparing for something else
Zao zhin
God nothing can be as fun as this
Jolyne
That's why you have wrinkles already
Zao zhin
That's not wrinkles!! That's makeup
Jolyne
You call it makeup?
Zao zhin
Let me deal with her at first
Zao zhin
What's your problem
Jolyne
I am not dealing with her today
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