Yes!yes!yes!, finally. I could no longer feel anxious just as before. If you would have asked me if I have ever went on date with a dude ,, definitely I would have told you NO!!.Like I know it would have sounded embarrassing but either way ,that was the truth.

I would never allow myself to get embarrassed,There was no room for that.Like hell no!!

That day, I was grinning from ear to ear all night because of how much fan I had.I can say it was a perfect date for me.I was feeling like a million bucks right then. Can u guess what conspired that night.It was the beginning of something new,something exclusive,something that I had never tried before. Of course he did ask me out to be his girlfriend.Guys it was love at first sight so definitely there was no way I would have said no.That was the only chance I had to say yes.And yes ,it's the same night I got my first kiss.It's crazy right? Yeah, I know. I was desperate for love.I needed to explore something new.

The next day ,I was so exhausted,and every time I remembered what happened last night I got goosebumps,I could find myself smiling.I could remember all the small details of him.Like his birthday day,his favourite song,musicians and so many things.Days,weeks,months went by and I was still in love like yesterday. I remember there was a time I lied to my my parents that I was going to church for a youth program from morning until evening,only to end up at his place and spent the whole day there. My parents never had no clue. They only knew I was in church. Not only that, there was a time I lied to my big sister that I was going out with my girlfriends only to end up at his place again. I was now becoming a lier.Did I feel guilty?no!!guys I was in love back then,truly love is blind.At this point ,for me to go out, I had to lie.i was starting to get out more often compared to the previous days I would go even for a week without stepping outside. The funny part was ,we leaved in the same estate,only a few blocks away from our cottage. In addition to that , I started making new friends within our estate.My sister saw all this, but she just played it cool. She would even cover up for me in case my parents asked for my whereabouts. Wasn't that sister code? At this point, nobody could tell me anything. As time went by, I would buy him gifts randomly .Anything that I could see online and it could probably make him happy or he would like ,I definitely bought it. I know you are probably wondering where I got all that my money from.Those were my savings.Did I get anything in return?...

Yes , i did chocolate,flowers ,teddy bears and all the cute things a girl can think of. The inner child in me would scream so loud whenever I got all those,I was his baby .Also with time ,we would go for picnics,writing each hand written letters,going for cinemas,and bytheway quality time was his love language.I would always feel happy and energized when I spent time with him. He was now becoming my safe space. I would rant all my problems to him.I loved so much. It was deep and unconditional.

As time went by, things started changing. He was no longer the lover boy I was used to.He wasn't romantic anymore. His behaviours towards me were so alarming. He became abusive and disrespectful at some point.He would insult me with huge words which I gave a deaf ear.He came to a point that he would lay hands on me.For crying out, I was only a girl friend. Even if I were his wife, still, he had no right to lay hands on me. Whenever I visited his place, I would come out with tinny bruises on my body. I would come up with stories and tell my mom that I got hurt while playing during breaks in school and she,would buy them. All of this happening I still stayed telling myself at the back of my mind that he would change.

I loved him that I was too blind to see all the emotional, mental, and physical tortures.We would argue all the time via the phone. Each conversation we had would turn into an argument, and it was so draining. And guess what ,I was always the one at fault. He would guilt trip me and make it seem that I'm the one with an issue.I remember there was a time he was flirting with a girl on one of the social platforms, when I asked him abt it ,he denied it.Away from that he came up with an excuse that he was going with the boys only to find out that's he spent the entire night a girl's place and u yes he told me that nothing happened and I believed him.Also there was a time I asked him for us to go out for movies and he told me that he had meetings later that evening so it would be impossible for him.Yes girl!!I believed him I found out later that he had gone to see one of her girls.I didn't think had any idea where i got the information from. It came to a point that I wanted to walk out without him knowing. I was only five months into the relationship, and all of this was happening. No, this is not what I had signed up for . I had seconds thought,I couldn't tolerate him,I deserved something better and not all of this miseries.I was now practicing, the law of detachment. It was going to hurt,but that was the only step I had to take.