Hi. I'm kianna, 16 years old and this is my story

I've always been an honor student from grade 1 to grade 6 when I turned high school i didn't make it to honor in the first quarter also when the second quarter comes. when the second quarter comes my hopes comes up but it shattered when I saw it.... it got down one point from my 1st quarter grade not just that my mother keep on blaming everyone around me, my friends, phone, and people who's been there for me when I'm at my lowest, the people I talk about my problems to because I can't with her, she's my own mother but I just can't because.. when I talk to her about my problems instead of comfort I get.. shouting,blaming and cursing word. when she get my card on 3rd grading when I was grade 7 she throw the card to my face with angry face she keep shouting at me and when I saw it I can't help but cry.. it got down again this time.. two points I don't know what I did wrong and I'm just still adjusting why like this.

"I can't do it. " i said to my self

at night I keep turning and tossing, I can't sleep...

blaming my self for everything even when my older brother did it im always the person to blame

My mother and my brother they're like two pieces in a pod always together and that means I will always get the blame for everything my brother did wrong, My father are the only person that is on my side.

One morning my mother tell me to do the cooking I did it but I accidentally burned it when my mother know about it she keep on shouting and cursing me and pushed me aside

"you bitch one single thing and you can't even do it right. " She said to me in angry voice.

"Huh in you're eye's there's nothing i did right" I said to my self

"sorry." I said to my mother

In this world all I can say is agree to everyone, agree to whatever they say cause in the end it will always be my fault, I feel pressured, and stress from my family's expectation but I think it's my fault because of what I showed them earlier I make them like this or... did I actually??

Overthinking.. means can't sleep, can't eat and can't think strait crying every night made me sick and when that happened I tried to help it.. I tried to act like I'm not sick but I really am so I lied down in my bed and when my mother comes to my room to ask me to do the chores I hesitated to tell her that I was sick cause I know she will throw a tantrum but im really sick and I really can't so I told her that I cannot do it and maybe my brother can do it just this once but she instantly yelled at me I already expected this to happened but I already to my self that it was worth a shot. and I guess this was the shot?? so I have ni choice but to do the chores I forced my self to do it and my father saw me so get asked me why am I doing the chores when I was obviously sick because my face are getting red.. this is what happened to me when I was sick. I said it was okay and my father get closed to me and just then my vision is getting blurred and darker until the last thing I remember is my father saying "are you okayy!?" when I woke up I was already in the hospital with my father and mother and brother by my side the first thing I heard was my mom saying...

"Great!! you are awake don't forget to wash the dishes when we get home those aren't done yet.. "

then my father argue.

"What is wrong with youu!? she's here sickk and tired and yet you're here asking her to do the chores!? "

I interrupted

"no dad it's okay.. I'll do it just stop arguing."

"Absolutely No!! Kianna! "

And then my mother said..

"Do it later! -then left "

I asked them all to leave my room first and I started overthinking again I just want to live peacefully with no one trying to stop me.

By the way u dreamed of graduating and become a doctor but my mother was against it well everything I want is she's against it I feel like I have no control to my life, I feel suffocated then.. I started having a anxiety then it becomes depression when I get home.. I locked my door close the window and I just always want to stay in my room they tried talking to me but my body don't want to I stop going to school I stop doing the chores and I stopped eating. Will this thing change??

To be continued

Abangan nyo po yung chapter 2!!!

Mwuahhpss