I am chance from SA doing grade 11. I am in the closet as my family expect a lot .

I live with my aunt and uncle the reason Likewise, I live with them is that my parents died when I was five. My family is not rich nor poor just hanging there to live to see another day. I discovered I am gay when I was in grade 8 as basically I developed feeling for my friend and decided to hide the fact that I was gay. My aunt and uncle despised gays, and they did not even hIde it.

My life went sideways when I met Floyd (a transferred student). He was a handsome boy to be honest. I was a quiet kid as I was afraid of boys even worse I had social anxiety. Floyd decided that he will approach me with the intention of being friends. I happily declined him, but he became a Nicene In my shoulder, and I agreed. Floyd was a care free person while I was the opposite. We exchanged numbers and sat next to each other in the class as we were in the same class

We all know a quiet kid in the class is always the top student,, but everything changed in a blink of an eye. Floyd started to challenge me as he became one of the top student and I did not mind. Floyd and I became close like nobody's business, and it made me happy. At first, I thought my mind was playing games with me, but no I was wrong. Floyd started to change something in me,, and he was being intimate with me. He would make sure I was not lonely as I was a person with social anxiety . I reminded my self that Floyd was a friend nothing else as I might have mistaken his care for something else.ore over I did not want to fall in love with a friend as our relationship may turn sour, or I can lose a friend but another thing I was in the closet.

Time flew fast,, and it was near year-end and my friendship with Floyd was going strong until one night. We Were in Floyd's house as he was home alone. That day I had asked my uncle, and aunt to sleep at Floyd's house for a sleep-over. We WAtched some movie but a movie led to Floyd kissing me. To be honest I was surprised but I kissed him back, It almost escalated to something else, but I prevented it. I was puzzled, and I was dizzy as Floyd had confessed saying he loved me. I agreed to date Floyd and we came in conclusion that it was best that we keep it under cup pert as I was in Closet while he was not.

When I agreed to date Floyd I did not know I met my soul mate, but it was a long road

so guys keep reading my novel to know more

As we already know my relationship with Floyd was not a public thing you could say it was secrete relationship. For the first month in the dating scene it was fun, and we were in grade 12 as it was January which in my country the first time we usually say it is back to school. To be honest I was still a virgin at that time and to be honest I called my self or believed I was pure. Floyd and I became close and clingy raising suspicious amount our pears but no one dared to ask. Floyd was openly gay, but you would not guess he was gay as he was manly and to my surprise he had friends which they supported him.

Floyd had some kind of reputation and I did not even know what kind of reputation is it as I was a shy guy and had social anxiety. To be honest Floyd was my ride or die during that era(my forever husband) although it was a secrete relationship. People were afraid of Floyd and I did not know why to be honest. We all know there is no relationship without sex, and it started to affect our relationship. I loved Floyd, but I was not ready to have sex, and he too knew that, but men will always be men.

Intimacy became issue and Floyd started to distance himself and this affected my school work. We were no longer close and people became curious because they knew Floyd was always clingy to me. To make matters worse rumors that I was gay were spreading like wildfire in my hometown and the news about me landed in my uncle and aunt's ears. Their affection towards me changed and I felt lonely.

Floyd ghosted me, and I was being bullied at school which to me during that time it was a traumatic experience. Floyd started dating another boy in another class the whole school knew and to be honest I felt like my world was crumbling down like nobody's business. I started to wonder whether Floyd liked me for my body or our relationship was a lie. After God fears men.my life was like a movie, or I was a character in a TV series which had no direction .

A month went by it was a second term or semester. My relationship with Floyd was still the same (being ghosted)by Floyd. I decided to move on as I was glad no one knew I was gay. As I thought I moved on another person (he is a guy) decided to come into my life and somehow that person caught Floyd's attention,, and he came back. What made me question Floyd's entrance in my life was why now he decided to come back

Floyd going out of my life created a scar if I was a geographic person then I would have said he created a meander scar in my life

As I mentioned in the previous chapter that another guy came into my life, and he attracted Floyd's attention. So I will explain how he came into my life, and he was mysterious in some kind of way. In terms of looks he was neither handsome nor ugly. What I liked about that guy he had an aura that attracted both female and men.

What happened for the guy to come into my life, it was because he helped me when I was being bullied by some guys and girls in school because of the rumor that I was gay. I was grateful he came into my life as I needed someone who will be my pillar of support. Floyd no longer shared a table with me, and he moved to another table in my class. He watched people bullying me and he did nothing. Those facts made me question his love for me. They guy took that opportunity to sit with me in my table, and he protected me and that somehow created a shift in the way Floyd behaved during that time.

Whenever we were in class there would be an awkward situation between junior(the guy) and Floyd.Floyd would want to start a fight with the guy, but the only problem was that he met his match. Floyd and junior had similarities but the only difference was that Floyd was more handsome. Junior was protective towards me like nobody's business and people in the class notice. Whenever someone wanted to talk to me, they would talk with him first to gain permission from him to talk with me.

A mysterious thing happened as one day Floyd decided to talk with junior in the toilet, and they locked the door (this event happened in school). The grudge between those two was known in school. They had a big argument in the toilet, but none of the people there could hear their argument. Basically I was a shy boy and scared of people there was nothing I could do to stop their argument. I left the class and headed to the toilet were they we're having an argument and people asked what was their reason to having such a huge argument. One of the girl made a remark that maybe their fighting for me and people who were there laughed. They got out of the toilet and both of them looked at me expecting me to say something. To make things simple I just told junior to come with me, and we left for the class. Floyd was flabbergasted like no one's business, and he looked scary one would say he was a cold-blooded mafia and to be honest Floyd had that aura of a mafia boss

Guys to be precise about my looks I had best of both world. My body was that of a girl, interns of the face I looked like a girl Sometime as a boy . I attracted both genders because I was in the closet all the good looks I had meant nothing as already I had a low self-esteem. Back to the story guys

I will continue in the next chapter and pls don't mind my spelling mistakes (grammar) English is not my mother's tongue