Background music \= Coz if you – Lalalala lalala—and the world cud be yeah yeah yeah – boom boom boom – Fighter that’s me!

“Alright you did well! But you can still do better in your dancing skills –“ the producers were all looking at me and the least I can do is to just wipe the sweat on my face and thank them for the opportunity.

Phone ringing!

“Well, they said they will just call me –“ I said while fixing my stuff from the locker area and talking to my friend Minzy. “Why’d you call?” I asked.

“Nothing just want to check on you, I haven’t received any messages from you since this morning…” she said.

I took my duffle bag and headed to the parking lot.

I was walking towards the exit, looking at my bag trying to look for my car keys… Unintentionally I bumped into something –

Someone…

“Oh shoot! I am sorry – I really am” I bowed as I asked for forgiveness “Are you hurt badly by any chance?” I looked at the person in front of me with my deepest concern. I was astonished when I saw the guy standing in front of me –

Before I could say any further he just nodded and his butler already brushed me off aside. I just followed them with my look as they enter the building.

Lunch with Minzy

“and they were all saying that it was casually done but I feel really relief that the girl –“ no one’s listening

“Hey!”

“Hey!!!” Minzy said while waving her hands on my face “Hey Kid, you ok? Were you hurt? What happened? Tell me” she said while checking up my temper with her hand, looking at my face up and down…

“Stop—“ I said “I am okay, I know how dedicated doctor you are… But really –“ I added

“Kid, you were looking so blankly ahead. I am worried” she said while fixing my hair

“I am okay, I was just spacing out… Earlier on my way in the parking lot I bumped into a guy – (looked at her while squinting my eyes as if I am thinking hard and trying to recall something) He looks familiar –“ I sighted

Minzy looked surprised and started asking me tons of questions while we were eating. I asked her to pause for a moment as I heard my phone ringing.

“Hey audition for tomorrow! This is for acting role… Drop by in my office and get the sample script” he dropped the call after.

It was just less than 5 minute call that makes me feel delighted for the entire day.

Hey! I am Copper Saelim and I’m on my early 20’s. Some says I look a bit Chinese because of my fair white skin, height, pointed nose and my small chinky eyes. I don’t know when it all started. But ever since I could recall, I have always wanted to become an artist. Become a performer, sing, dance, host and act –

My parents are both gone because of an accident that took place few years back. I live in a condo close to my Mom’s bestfriend. Remember the girl earlier? Minzy? That’s her… She is older than me but we talk so casually as if we are both on a same age.

With the dream I have in my mind, I feel like I is kinda late for me to start and train to become an idol figure. That’s the reason why I am always excited whenever I received an extra project, regardless how small or lowkey it is.

I went to my handler’s office and took the sample script. I need to review this and memories the lines so I would be ready for tomorrow.

I went out and drive my way home after getting the files.

When I get home I decided to fresh n’ up, change in to my PJs and study the script till I doze off.

*I grabbed the script and sit on my bed while resting my back on the bed post.

Scene # 44*

Scenario: Lead and Co – Lead are having a fight in the subway station. Everyone was busy and some were looking at them. Co – Lead was begging for the Lead to stay while the Lead was too confuse and wanting to have time to think things through.

Lead Star – “I have no clue nor interested in finding one – (brushed off your arms and look into your eyes with anger) Stay away! STAY AWAY! (Screech with a trembling voice)

Co – Lead – (Stared at Lead with full of sadness, pain and hopelessness) “I may not be the one who can make you stay right away – (walked closer) But, I promise I will stay… Even if it’s painful, even if it’s breaking me – Because when the time comes, when you remember everything I want to be there…” he looked at the Lead, sad eye but still smiling…

Scene # 58

Scene # 100

I did so much of reading and I didn’t expect that the lines were so heavy. I cried almost in every scenes, god I can’t be attending the audition with a puffy eyes…

I doze off about half passed 2am. But woke up during wee hours because I woke up crying… I was supposed to sleep again but just decided to go out and run so I can condition myself for the audition.

“Wow! Good morning to you Mr. Co – Lead Actor” Minzy was on the other side of the park looking at me full of surprise “This is too early for you Kid, you should be sleeping well” she said while lecturing me.

We pause for a moment and rest on the bench.

“I don’t know, the script that I was reviewing last night was kinda heavy. Yah know how hurtful stuff could just stay all night in your head and you are just –“ I released a heavy sighted and look up the sky…

Minzy looked at me and gave me a hug “You know when you were sooooo little I tend to be really protective of you but your mom will just tell not too. Because you gotta learn things on your own and too much of such might make you feel less loved. (She released me from her arms and look at me with a smiling face) Just don’t stress out nor force yourself, okay?” she asked.

“You think Mom and Dad will be proud of me?” I asked

“What they always wanted for you to do is to grow up following your heart. Which you are doing now – So yes! They are proud of you” she said

I hugged her and thank her for being my second mom and for looking after me even I am already on my early 20s.

We went for few more minutes of run and chitchat. I am not sure… But I feel like I used to do this before with someone…

Oh well, I shook it all off and cleared my mind… Preparing for my audition is way much important today.

Today feels somewhere in the middle of nostalgic and de javu… I put on my white top and casual jeans, took the perfect shoes for the outfit and my fave cap. Well that’s the outfit of the Co – Lead per script description so might as well dress prepared.

I prepared some other options too and put them all in my car, just in case.

Break a leg self, break a leg!

Got into the building early, prepared my stuff, get inside the waiting room assigned to me… Did run some of the scripts…

Everything is going well until the last stage where I need to face the directors, some of the producers and I’d be working with (in case I’ll get the role) and the most nerve wracking part here is that – I’d be running the lines with the Lead Artist for the role.

I was just sitting there trying to relax, got a quick call from Minzy and she told me to stay calm and break a leg.

I went out to grab some frizzy drink and noticed a familiar face in the corridor. I just can’t be sure coz he was running against my direction. I stopped at the vendo and saw a phone close to the bench.

Who could it be?

I grabbed my drink and took the phone. I check my watch and I still have some time to spare. I decided to go to the lobby and surrender the phone that I found sitting unattended on the bench.

“Sir please fill out the required information here for documentation and we will take your picture for being a good Samaritan” said the guard as I returned the phone and surrender it to them.

I went back to the waiting room and check out the scripts again. For an audition we will have quite huge range of scenes to choose from. But, for the final stage we might have the one that I practiced last night.

I grabbed my drink and stared at it for a moment ‘I don’t think this is my kind of drink. But, why do I crave for this?’

I opened the can and the scent of the frizzy drink spread out in the room. For some reasons something flashback in my head, it seems like a memory own by someone else’s because I can’t recall some of the faces flashing—but there’s this one that looks really familiar to me.

“Thank you for getting my favorite drink! You never fail to hype me up with this before going to work!” the guy from my head looks really happy looking at me. The frizzy drink was not my favorite – it was his…

I was lost for a while and caught up in the moment when I heard the knock in my room “Copper! Candidate #56? You there?”

I looked at my watch and notice that I still have time. I open the door as a tried to relax and calm my nerves “Yes!? I am #56” I gave the girl a gentle smile

“The director wants to start early, we need you to be in the audition room by 3” she said while giving me a separate copy of the minor script that we will be doing.

I went inside the audition room, everyone looks welcoming and helpful. We ran some of the lines with random partners while I keep the same role.

“You are something #56! You okay” the director said, while the head director was just looking at the script and not looking at me.

“I think it’s time for us to call Sammy” the head director finally said something and he gave me a smiling face too “Stay calm!” he added.

To capture the right amount of light they want to see, the producers asked the maintenance to roll up the curtain so we can have the natural light from the outside.

“Oww this is a perfect scenery I must say” one of the producers said

I looked outside and spaced out for a moment, something flashed back… I got confused but tried my very best to compose myself ‘I’m in the middle of an audition and I can’t be distracted’ I told myself.

“Hi I am Sammy!”

I looked back as I heard a voice coming from behind me – it was him. It was the guy…

“Stay calm and break a leg” he said while looking at me

I was about to say something when we heard the director starts providing the instructions “Do the Scene #44 -- -- -- --“

I can no longer recall the other things he said, I got lost when I heard a loud thunder followed by the lightning. Right at that moment I feel honestly scared, I feel so weak… I wanted to run.—

The rain, gloomy weather, thunder, lightning or anything that’s loud and uninvited sounds makes my head aches and my chest in pain…

I was able to bounce back into the reality when I heard Sammy started his script

“I have no clue nor interested in finding one – (brushed off your arms and look into your eyes with anger) Stay away! STAY AWAY! (Screech with a trembling voice)

The tone of his voice, his looks and the way he pushed my away – I felt them all, I felt so much pain.

I stood there and look at him, it was not part of the script but my voice started to shake. I delivered my lines feeling it was all I have in my chest, I talked to him as if I am really in pain, sadness and hopelessness. I moved closer and looked at him, tears stream down on my face. I just can’t bare the pain and gave him a shallow smile as I tried to keep all the pain.