A Heart Without Home
1: Heart Tightening Past
() is expressions
I might not add thought but I'll let you all know if i do
Actions will be explained by the 'Aside' option
It was late when i returned home
As always my mom left on a work trip, she left me a small note on the shoe cabinet
I didn't feel like reading it...My mind wasn't clear that time
I just stumble my way to my room and flop on my bed
I reach for my journal which was placed on top of the cabinet
I lay on my bed and flip through the pages till i stopped on one page
A date i probably won't forget for the rest of my life
I start reading through the page..
August 13, 20--
Dear me from the future
Today's night will probably go down in history of Ven Isaac Highschool and College, Today's party was lit! not only us 1st years the 2nd and 3rd year seniors also came! It was great, There were so many food and drinks plus the Seniors adore us like babys!
I met a new friend today too! His name is Mark, he is a 2nd year. He is so cool and lit! I wasn't surprised when i heard he was popular because he was so handsome and nice! We added eachother on wechat, And and like He said i look like a playboy...i don't know if it was a insult but the way he said it is just...Ahhh i am going crazy!!
I had a great night tonight though i was mostly with Brother Mark, he told me to call him bro or brother because he is older than me...Though it was weird at first i git used to it.
Thats all i have to write today, i am very sleepy and tired right now and tomorrow is that stupid math teacher's class...I hate her soo muchhh she clearly doesn't like me aswell but meh I don't care
-Yours, Jake
I closed the journal, something seems to drown my heart...it was as if it was chocking me..
I wipe my tears slowly and take a few deep breathes
It was intoxicating for me to read those...but i still did, over and over again
Maybe i expected too much?
Jake
Hah~ Its rather annoying how you confesses first, made the first move and left first
Jake
Its as if your always first...
I sigh at my own words as i slowly remember that day...
Mark
I am sorry but its just that i have moved on
Jake
Oh... Its okay though, hope it doesn't ruin our friendship..
I managed to say...Holding back those tears which wanted to burst..
Mark
I don't think i can remain friends with you... specially after everything, lets just forget everything and just become strangers? exactly like how we were...Before we met at the party
Jake
oh...its okay, i won't stop you
Mark
Thank you for understanding Jake
Jake
yea...but can i know the reason?
Mark
Oh that, i just feel out of love with you...like not how i used to fell, its rather a different feeling...a feeling i felt like to break, so its better if we separate
Mark
Maybe we weren't ever just meant to be together? Thats probably it
I clenched on my shirt and slowly force a soft smile
Jake
i understand Senior...I won't every come back in your life and make you feel that feeling you hate again
Jake
If thats all... I'd head home, my mom's waiting for me
I try my best to walk slowly but i couldn't...
It was 9:33 pm now...I was sitting in the park bench
It had been raining for a few hours now...
Thank god it was, atleast it hid all those tears i shed
My mom never called me...she isn't even there for me that much
i just wanted to burst into tear...cry my heart out
My eyes were hurting right now...my nose was watery
It still felt so hard to breathe...so hard that i could feel my self suffocate
Jake
Why...why? If you knew you would move on then why play with me?
Jake
Why tell me you like me?
Jake
Why...Why just steal my first kiss...my first love and a spot in my heart that it still beated so fast when i think of you?
Jake
Its fûcking painful....So painful that i cant bare it..i just cant
I kept on sobbing on the bench...
I was getting lots of stares but i dared not bother...
My heart was in so much pain that my mind stoppid working...
I feel my heart tighten again as i remember those memories...
I still have to see him...
i have to attend events which include him..
Jake
i should just sleep now...I have important classes tomorrow
Jake
Atleast that math teacher isn't teaching us this year
I say that sarcastically, trying to light up my own mood
It was 3:58 am right now...i just can't stop thinking about that he thinks...was i jsut a toy to him...? what will the one person that is there at my worst think of me if he finds out? Probably a *****...
it was annoying how i care so much, wish i could change myself
Jake
Maybe i can try dating? That way i can forget him
Jake
But...I can't play qith someone else for my own needs...they have a heart too
I kept on muttering stuff to myself before who knows when i fell asleep
Author
Hi everyone! Thsi is my first chatstory and story
Author
I am new and not fluently English so their maybe many mistakes
Author
Please tell me tips or my mistakes
Author
I will try to improve my writting
2: Juicy Rumour's start
Lets put my Morning routine aside and Start when i reached school
As I enter I notice a new fellow
Ignoring him I went and sat down on my seat
After about 10-15 minutes the teacher arrived
The class started as usual
The new fellow was a new transferred student
Well, it doesn't hurt having a new fellow around now, does it?
I still catch myself getting frustrated by just staying in the same room as Mark
It's not easy to move on now...but I am in a better state than I was back then…
As I zoned out on my own thoughts I felt a finger poke my shoulder
I looked up at the person slowly
Calvin
Hey uhm I am Calvin
Calvin
The teacher said you had good notes since your regular, can I borrow them?
I quickly reach into my bag and hand him some notebooks
Calvin
Oh nice to meet you Jake
Calvin
Is this seat taken? That Seat is apparently someone else's 😀
I look at him as he sits down beside me
now that I get a closer look at him..
He looks really.… I mean REALLY similar to M- I mean Senior Mark
He noticed my gaze and tilted his head in confusion
Calvin
Need something Jake?
he just nods and looks through the notes
He said pointing at an eye I drew when I was bored during the lesson
I look away...embarrassed
He just chuckles to himself, suddenly he began patting me
The patting just made me even more embarrassed
I could already hear the chartering from the girls and the stares
It was just embarrassing...
Soon lunch time came along
Not like I was at the cafeteria
Calvin
Hey uh Jake? What did you write here?
Calvin said pointing at the sentence
Calvin
Who writes Alas like that?
We got a bit just A BIT closer
Calvin
Nope, few more lines
Jake
Who takes so long to write English?
Calvin
why do you draw eyes so much?
Calvin
What type of eye even are these?
Calvin
If you come along then sure
I just look away flustered
I look over at Calvin who was taking notes
I wanted to kill this guy
Calvin
Jake what did you write here?
I just calmed myself down with my hungry stomach and watch the students come in
I was burning in jealousy...how lucky were they…
As everyone settles down the chatters again begin
I seriously wish I could ductape these peoples mouths shut
I sigh in clear annoyance
New school rumour was just at the beginning
(timeskip to the last class)
Jake
how can you get away with taking notes when I can't get away sleeping?
Calvin
They don't know what i am writing
Jake
you look so handsome while smiling
Jake
Yes, so handsome that I want to puke when I look at you,
he gives the dumbfounded look at me
Calvin
Maybe its just that your built different?
Calvin
Yk heart? The emoji Heart?
Teacher
HEY! LAST BENCH! NO TALKING IN CLASS PERIOD
The teacher yelled Making my roll my eyes
Jake
oh great...The rumour has more juice into it...
I look over at Calvin who's writing his notes
He looks alot like... Senior Mark
I just lazily sit on my seat waiting for the bell to ring
After about forever the bell rang
Calvin
Your acting like it took forever to ring
I just gave him a side eye and pack up my things
Calvin
Don't you want your notes?
Jake
Give them to me later
i just take my bag and then walk out
While leaving the building i encounter with the one and only person i didn't wish to face
I just walk past him, ignoring the his eyes
I did feel his gaze on me as i walked by
I unlocked the door and come in
I guess mom wasn't gonna be home this week
Not like i cared, I just walked to my room and threw my bag on the floor
I just fall on my bed and just think about today
I had stopped writing journals after the incident with Senior Mark
But I wanted to begin again
But i didn't feel like it to be honest
I just lay on my bed keep remembering how i couldn't eat lunch today
I didn't feel hungry right now though
I just sit up on my bed and grab my phone
I just unlock it and go through some social media
I didn't even realise when it turned 8pm-
Jake
i mean...Didn't i just get on my phone like two minutes ago?
I just get off my bed and finally get freshened
My phone addiction made me unhygienic
After getting freshened and changing clothes, I walk to the kitchen
i make myself some Instant noodles
As i sat down to eat a knock interrupted my heavenly eating
I glare at the door before getting up and opening it
Author
I know this chapter is boring
:((
Author
Pleasee like, comment and subscribe
Author
And don't forget to tell me my mistakes :P
Author
I might do updates on Sundays or Mondays btww
Author
Like to make the angry kitty happyy :DD
Author
Take care and ofcourse drink waterr
3: Boring day
Jake
How did you get my address?
Calvin
ahh, went to Mr. Strikes for that
Jake
Why would you go to our class teacher for my address?😐
Calvin
I Really need help and I heard your good at math
Jake
I am good at math, but I don't like it...
Jake
You can get a math tutor 😀
Calvin
But they cost money...
Calvin
And like even if I hand you 5 dollars you wouldn't mind
Jake
How can you be sooo sure?😒
Calvin
Because it's written on your face?
Jake
You read people's faces?
Calvin
Now would you help me?
Jake
What will I get in return?
Calvin
Free Taco bell every night?
Jake
You want me to die of diarrhea 😀?
Calvin
Bruhhhhh okay than uh Chicken fry?
Calvin
Yayy can I come in?
He gave me a smile before walking off
I close the door and look at my cold instant noodles
I just putted the instant noodles in the fridge and went back to my room
I didn't have an appetite anymore
I laid in my bed and look over at the cabinet which my journal was on top of
I felt like being a little sad over old memories so i took the journal
I opened the journal and started reading..
August 17 20--
Dear me from the future,
Sorry I couldn't write to you in these few days. I had so much school work! Anyways Me and Brother Mark have been talking alottt these few days, he even treated me to lunch today! We ate some fried rice and soup, he said it's on him no matter how kuch i insisted on paying :(
He is soo kind! He told me to never stop smiling because my smile is very bright:D it's the first time someone complimented me, I felt something weird for the first time today though.... I felt my heart beat aloot faster than usual! And my ears felt hot when he said that °^°? Meh I should do a doctor checkup soooon :(( i hate the doctorr alott.
and and I almost forgot to mention! My friend Kevin bought me 3 books today :))) they are comics! I will start reading them from tomorrow since it'll be the weekend
Thats alll bye bye
-Jake
(update: The doctor laughed at me and told me not to fool around :-|)
I laugh abit before turning the page
August 18 20--
Dear me from the future,
Guess what? My mom finally made it home today :) she was too tired and went straight to bed though... I don't blame her since she's probably tired, Today was Samuel's birthday and the entire school was invited but it was a lame party, he just wasted money on useless stuff.
Anyways today we had a biology test and i answered everything! It was so easy but here is the problem....i only remembered them after i submitted my exam sheet and answered all the questions in my head, i only answered one in exam sheet but its okay! Atleast i learned something....?
and and i bought a few books! They are good but not the vibe i like...would probably return them soon
u don't have anything interesting today but today was abit sadd cuz Brother Mark didn't come today but it was fine.
Thats all i got for todayy buibui
-Jake
I finally put my journal aside and go to my study desk
I open the drawer and take out a book
I never like this, It was a waste of money i guess
Jake
Uhhhhh i am really bored right now
Jake
I wish i let that weirdo in, so he could at least keep me accompanied
But it wasn't like I enjoyed his accompany though-
I just liked uh attention yea
I go back to my bed with the book beside me
I was starting to feel bit better though I still thought about Senior Mark
I just close my eyes and wait to drift to sleep but nothing
I just ended up staring at the wall till 10:00pm
I didn't myself realize when I feel asleep
I woke up around 4 am and yawned lazily
The weather was good to be honest
I got off my bed and went to the balcony
the sky was clear with no clouds and stars
Jake
I wish there was a storm
I just enjoyed Stormy weathers more okay?
I just leaned against the railing of the balcony and looked at the sky
The roads still were very busy
I just enjoyed the weather
I go back inside and grab the book
I sit down on the chair beside my desk and open the book
The title was 'Strange Guts'
It was a Story based of the dark side of humanity and human trafficking
I honestly never found this book 'fun' or 'interesting'
I only read upto chapter 16 though
I open the book and start reading it
after a few minutes I just set it down again...
Jake
This book sure is disturbing
I mutter to myself as i look at the clock
Jake
Why is time so slow right now when its exam its suddenly faster than wind during a thunderstorm
I just get up and go back to the balcony
Sadly we can't see the sunrise from here
I let out a deep breathe as I decided to head out
I walk to the bathroom and wash my face
I than brush my teeth than i put on some clothes
I grab a pair of wired headphones and my phone then i head out my room
I rush down the stairs and out the door
I close and lock it before i leave of course
I walk down the streets and feel the morning breeze
As i hit the main street i see a drunkard..
I walk closer to see who it was
i couldn't really help but get surprised at who it was...
Author
Like to pet the kitty !
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