A girl was sitting at the corner of a dark room. Her face looked empty and pale. Eyes had no shine at all. The face was looking dull because of no emotion. But deep inside her mind, there were so many things that she was thinking about. Her thoughts were running like crazy in her mind but outside her didn't show the slightest of the moment. Her body had no awareness of the surrounding. Her eyes were looking down at the floor.

“I am heartless”

“I don't care what happens next to me or whatever anybody does to me, now”

“I won't cry now, I have nothing to be afraid of; nothing to care about"

“Well this is what, I want to be but I know it very well then anyone else that I am not what I always dream of to be"

“I hate my heart for being so kind to those who abandoned me, to love those who hated and betrayed me, it held on to those who abandoned me."

"Just Why?"

“What else do I desired than a happy life with happy memories but look at what do I have in the name of memories, I carry those nightmares in my mind. They scare me even when I am not asleep. In the name of life, I experience so many betrayals and two-faced people. In the name of friends, I experience smiley-faced earthly devils. In the name of beloved times, I experience so many abandons that I can never forget. What did I do to deserve this?"

“Will it end? Should I even expect it to end?"

She hears a notification on her mobile; it was the alarm at 6' o clock. She realized that while thinking so much she didn't sleep the entire night. She stands and opens the window. The Sun was in its place, where it should be. It was rising from the east everything else even seemed normal and here her eyes look down again in sadness.

“Will there be a morning in my dark endless night?"

“But it can't be helped now gotta hurry to the college."

She dresses up herself; she didn't give much attention while dressing. She did comb her hair but didn't give it much attention. Without even checking her bag, she put it on and walked out of her apartment.

She was taking little steps slowly, slowly towards the school. Her little palms were holding the bag's strap, while her carrying out on her back. There were smiling junior students running beside her. The little boy ran in the front, while two ran after him. They were full of laughter. Two high school girls were gossiping smilingly, they seemed to be a very busy body. Some people were opening their stops. The old man smilingly said to his son, “hey boy, it looks like you are doing great progress." The old man's son smiled proudly. She could hear all of this, even though; she was facing down to the ground the entire time.

Note: "It is my first novel. My native language isn`t English, there are chances I might offend you by my silly mistakes. Sorry from earlier"

She dresses up herself; she didn't give much attention while dressing. She did comb her hair but didn't give it much attention. Without even checking her bag, she put it on and walked out of her apartment.

She was taking little steps slowly, slowly towards the school. Her little palms were holding the bag's strap, while her carrying out on her back. There were smiling junior students running beside her. The little boy ran in the front, while two ran after him. They were full of laughter. Two high school girls were gossiping smilingly, they seemed to be a very busy body. Some people were opening their stops. The old man smilingly said to his son, “hey boy, it looks like you are doing great progress." The old man's son smiled proudly. She could hear all of this, even though; she was facing down to the ground the entire time.

She notices a change in the brick pattern on the footpath she was walking onto. She realizes that she has arrived at college. She didn't realize the passage of time on the way. She moves a little forward and then turns left. She enters the college; she downturned face finally looked forward. She notices girls busy talking. Boys busy in their conversation that was loud enough to be heard from a little far. Her eyes turned a little sad.

“I have never felt alone in my apartment or an empty room but I can feel it clearly when I am surrounded by people."

“Now, I realize, loneliness is a feeling of finally understanding that you are alone even in a crowd."

She walked inside.

“Even though I don't like this place but I don't want to leave this place." She exclaimed to herself and walked to the classroom and sat in the middle desk of the last row.

Their homeroom teacher walks in, all the standing ones sat on the random desks in the hurry to sit.

Homeroom teacher makes an announcement, “today, we are having some officers of the national education department. Please welcome them."

A beautiful lady surrounded by many other officers in black suits enters. The lady must be in her late 30's or 40's but the beauty she had on her face was abundant.

The girl recognizes the lady, "Miss Rira Rara” she exclaimed to herself.

She surprisingly exclaimed, " Miss Rira Rara". Miss Rira Rara is my father's, first love. She couldn't marry him as my grandparents didn't let her. She got divorced by her husband in an arranged marriage, only after a month. From then, she had taken care of me and my eldest brother. But a few years ago, my mother drove her away for a little misunderstanding. To me, she has always been my mother but from the moment she left the city, she didn't contact me. I tried but I didn't know exactly how.

Miss Rira Rara speaks up, " good morning, everyone. I hope you all are enjoying your day. I am here for a normal journal test for you all"

She surprisingly exclaimed, " Miss Rira Rara". Miss Rira Rara is my father's, first love. She couldn't marry him as my grandparents didn't let her. She got divorced by her husband in an arranged marriage, only after a month. From then, she had taken care of me and my eldest brother. But a few years ago, my mother drove her away for a little misunderstanding. To me, she has always been my mother but from the moment she left the city, she didn't contact me. I tried but I didn't know exactly how.

Miss Rira Rara speaks up, " good morning, everyone. I hope you all are enjoying your day. I am here for a normal journal test for you all. It isn`t difficult but to know how much you all study."

She orders the officers beside her to distribute tests to everybody.

Miss Rira Rara, " Your time starts now. I will take your tests after an hour. Good luck to you all"

The girl looks at her answer sheet. There were 40 questions. Section A has some general etiquette questions. Section B contains some complicated and western ones. And the last, section C contains some questions from the syllabus but their level was not too hard, and neither can be considered easy.

One hour completes, officers collect the sheets from all and they took it for checking. After some time, Miss Rira Rara returns with the results in her hand.

Miss Rira Rara announces, " let's see, who is lucky enough to be qualified to join the central university in the capital city."

The girl looks down to the bench, " she said, it was just a normal journal test but... How? Did she lied"

She looked up, her expressions changed, " but I had have more shocking surprises then why am I suprised in such a little thing."

But deep inside her heart, she doesn't want to leave.

Do I really need to leave now? but...

Miss Rira Rara continued her announcement, she spoke the name of six children from the class except her and she says after a short break, " the one who scored full is Yurisha Sheljoybie"

And that was the name of that girl.

Miss Rira Rara, did say the girl's name but she was doubting inside, she might reject but her expressions showed nothing on the outside. They looked serious about it.

And Yuri knew inside, that she is in a doubt, after all, last time when someone came to take her to go back, Yuri didn't leave. When he tried to tell her that the one who promised to come back is no longer alive. Yuri cried in tears and shouted repeatedly, "No he is not". Then he told her that her eldest brother would not come too and he is having a very happy life there and has forgotten all about her. Yuri still didn't believe them but argued back saying that she won't believe it never ever.