"Talk to me. How're you feeling these days," Taehyung asked suddenly, catching you off guard.

"Why do you ask?"

"I just realized I haven't even been there for you at all. Not since you found out about... you know," he says quietly.

"It's been my turn to take care of you, Tae. It's okay," you reassured him.

"But Y/N, you didn't answer the question. How are you feeling?" he pressed. However, you didn't want to confront your feelings, much less confess them to him. You didn't want to make him feel worse. You didn't now what him to know that you felt sad again, and it was because of him.

"Y/N?"

"I'm okay," you said simply.

"No, you aren't. Why are you lying? I thought we were past lying," he seemd upset then, hurt contorting his face.

"I don't want you to be worrying about me. You have enough to deal with right now," you insisted, taking your eyes off of him. You didn't want to see his sad expressions any longer.

"Is there a reason I should be worried?" he exclaimed, worry and anxiety lining his voice .

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then, Y/N? Hey, look at me," Taehyung said angrily now, obviously growing frustrated with your lack of meaningful replies.

You shifted your eyes back up at him, realizing that he looked like he was yet again about to cry. Great.

"It's because of me, isn't it?" he whispered, finally putting all of the pieces together. You nodded curtly, unable to form a decent response.

____________________________________________

Please read this in its entirety:

This is an AU. Tae is not apart of Bangtan; Bangtan does not exist. However, there may be appearances from other members from time to time.

In this story, Tae has an older brother rather than a younger one. Please don't leave me a comment correcting me on small things like this, as I likely wrote them this way on purpose for the story to work.

This story does deal with some themes of physical illness and death; it's not like crazy intense or anything. if i feel that maybe a chapter should have a warning, there will be one at the beginning of it.

There is no update schedule for this book, however I will try to be as prompt as I can. My Min Yoongi x Reader (Bad For Me) is already completed at 60,000 words if you'd like something to read in the meantime.

Thank you so much for clicking and deciding to read this book!! I really appreciate all of the support I've gotten on my previous works, and this one as well. Below is the reading playlist for this story, compiled of songs that I either listened to while writing, or that I think compliment the story. Make a playlist and listen along if you'd like, or play whatever song is embedded into the chapters as I post them. Or don't listen at all; it's completely up to you :D

reading playlist:

the beach - the neighbourhood

do it, try it- m83

come a little closer- cage the elephant

shooting the moon- ok go

speak up- pop etc

sirens- tom odell

thieves- the beach

bloom- the paper kites

isle of flightless birds- twenty one pilots

release- imagine dragons

falling- opia

given the chance- the kite string tangle

tomorrow- bts

walk on memories- exo

fireside- the arctic monkeys

youth- glass animals

i never knew you- the avett brothers

i do not love you- ron pope

sweet disposition- the temper trap

somewhere only we know- keane

the river- imagine dragons

oblivion- bastille

soldier on- the temper trap

coffee- bts

your precious world is enough- the new faces

[Your POV]

You woke just slightly before your alarm was supposed to sound. It was six forty-four when your eyes opened, and you anxiously shot up in bed.

Eyes open, new beginning.

The first day of school was always the most dreaded day of the year for you, and that remained true for today. Every school year was an opportunity for a new start, but somehow, everything always turned out the same; go to school, hang out with friends that are fake and talk behind your back, date a jerk or two, and then come home. It was the same cycle every single year, and you could never find a way to break it. Perhaps it was all due to your inability to go outside of your comfort zone. Perhaps it was simply the people in your school that held you back. Perhaps you were just afraid. You didn't know. You just knew that you were stuck.

You left your bed with extreme reluctance that morning, the first day of senior year. You fixed your hair, applied high-end makeup, dressed in expensive clothes. Those material things kept you popular, and allowed you to have an occasional ego boost. But, that happiness was fleeting, and it often left you feeling empty. Regardless, you did your best to hold your head high, and to act like somebody that was completely confident; somebody who wasn't really you.

Upon making it downstairs to grab your bag and leave, you found a sticky note stuck to the side of your back.

Come home straight after school today – mom says we have guests coming over ~Clay

You removed the sticky note and crumpled it up as you sighed. Your mother was always having various people over from the school's PTO, or her work friends, or old school friends. Any other day, you probably wouldn't have minded, but today, the last thing you wanted after a long first day of school was to have to come home and continue to be happy and fake. But, at least Clay would be there too, and hopefully it would defer some of the attention and prying away from you.

Clay was 25, and in his second year of medical school, striving to be a Doctor. He was back living at home in order to save some money as he worked toward his degree, not having any time to work on the side to help pay for rent on an apartment. And while your family had plenty of money to cover these living expenses for him, Clay insisted that he felt better to move home like many other students did, rather than taking a bunch of hand-outs. And that, you had great respect for.

He had been a model student all throughout high school and University, and he was always a point of bragging for your parents to their friends. Your father and mother were both guilty of putting him on a pedestal, which was generally annoying. However, Clay himself was humble, and the two of you shared a rather close relationship. And thanks to him, you didn't fail Honors Biology last year.

You listened to your music louder than usual on the way to school that morning. It was the easiest way to drown out your thoughts, filling the silence with expressive lyrics that sometimes reflected your feelings, and other times did not.

The parking lot crowded with cars that were unfamiliar to you; new students enrolling, or perhaps new cars for repeat students that Daddy's money paid for. There was a clear divide between wealthy and not in the parking lot, and it was obvious who was on each side of the line.

A few of your friends were near the largest tree on campus, close to where your car was parked. They huddled together as they smiled and laughed, likely gossiping about other people passing by. You took a deep breath, swinging a strap of your backpack over your shoulder as you began to approach them. They were the type of friends that you were always on thin ice with, always walking on eggshells around. They would turn on each other and be mad at each other at the drop of a hat; quick to build each other up, and just as quick to tear each other down. It was a toxic and vicious cycle, one that was unfortunately common among conceited high school students. They weren't people that you really wanted as your friend, but they definitely weren't people that you wanted as your enemies either. It was yet another part of your life that you were stuck in.

"Hey girls," you greeted them. They greeted you curtly in return before resuming their gossiping and giggling.

"I heard Jeremy got kicked out of Buckner because he got caught plagiarizing on all of his final exams," Kennedy allowed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She was on the shorter said, dark-headed, and a face littered with freckles. She was notorious for always being up to date on gossip concerning those from other schools.

"Really? Isn't he the one who dated Clarissa last term?" Mallory inquired, confusion lining her voice. She was one of the least confrontational in the group, but that didn't make her any less dangerous than the others. She was a snake, striking when you least expected it.

"No, that was Ricky who dated Clarissa."

"Then who's Jeremy?'

You zoned out then, not wanting to participate in the rude taunting of other students that they were all partaking in. Your eyes scanned the parking lot absentmindedly, observing the other students that were gradually arriving.

Your eyes landed on a particularly unfamiliar person who was standing in the left front corner of the lot, just a few yards away from you. He was leaning up against the front of a red Jeep, eyes closed, white headphones in both of his ears. He was swaying slightly, quietly singing along to whatever he was listening to as he reached to pull the hood of his blue hoodie up over his head. He wasn't being extremely loud, but it was enough for you to tell that he was doing more than lip-syncing. And he sounded good.

Those passing him by were tossing over rude looks and curious glances, and you continued to stare, biting your lip as you did so. You had never seen him before, and it appeared as if no one else had ever seen him before either. He had a lot of nerve to show up at a new school and call so much attention to himself. But in some strange way, you couldn't help but feel a mild sense of respect for his bravery. You wished you had enough self-confidence to put yourself out there in such a blatant manner.

"What are you looking at?" Mallory asked you, the other two girls now looking at you and following your obvious gaze.

"Oh, nothing, I was just-"You lied as you were pulled out of your wandering and spiraling thoughts.

"Were you looking at that guy who's singing?" Sage was the one to ask the next question. She was probably the most hostile one in the group. She loved to start drama, to backstab, to lie, anything that would bring the eyes of others upon her. She had a love affair with basking in negative attention.

"No, I just zoned out for a second, that's all," you lied again, offering a fake smile.

Sage nodded, seeming satisfied with your lie, "Good, because he seems like a freak. Must be new around here...Let's freeze him out, yeah? Spread the word," Sage ordered to others who nodded in agreement.

You sighed quietly and glanced back over the boy who seemed perfectly content and off in his own world. You felt a rush of sympathy for the boy as you figured he was about to have a very rough first day of school. He was going to be shunned for being a little bit different, and even though you didn't agree with treating people that way, you knew that arguing with Sage wouldn't do you any good, and it wouldn't make a difference. You'd practically be digging your own grave. So, you kept your mouth shut, and wished the best for him.

The bell rang, causing the copious amounts of students that were congregating outside to begin migrated towards the front doors.

"Let's go," Mallory said, and you reluctantly turned, beginning to follow them on the way to the doors along with everybody else.

It was only eight in the morning on the first day of school, and you were already exhausted, and anticipating the day that graduation would come.

/////

You played your music even louder throughout the car ride home than you did on the way there. The first day had left you exhausted, overwhelmed, and generally with a lot on your mind. You had a backpack full of homework, three bratty friends and their drama to deal with (Sage and Mallory were already in a fight over something trivial), and another several months before you'd be able to escape any of it.

The boy was in five of your eight classes.

Your classes were crowded, with around forty students crammed into each room. He sat in the back of every class, now lacking headphones, but remaining with a hood over his head. He was quiet, and you didn't hear him speak a single time throughout the day. His reserve surprised you, as you had pegged him for a more outgoing type after seeing him sing in the parking lot like that. It was also obvious that no one was speaking to him; you had a received a text blast about staying away from him, and you assumed that the majority of the popular crowd in the school had as well. And since he wasn't speaking, the only information that you managed to gather was that his name was Kim Taehyung, from roll call in class.

At lunch he sat alone, headphones back in as he hovered over a notebook, looking concentrated you. You watched him from afar as Sage and Mallory were busy arguing, and Kennedy was texting her boyfriend from a neighboring high school.

He hardly ever looked up, and spent the entire lunch period writing in his notebook, sometimes his lips moving slightly as if he was either lip-syncing or talking to himself. From where you were sitting, there was no way to be sure.

You turned the street corner, now arriving upon your house. There were more cars parked on the street than usual, and you had ended up having to park several places down. Clay's car was outside, your mom's, a silver Kia Rio, and a red jeep. You furrowed your eyebrows at the car, trying to place why it looked so familiar to you.

You shook your head, moving on and walking up the sidewalk as it was hot outside, and your bag was heavy.

"I'm home!" You called out upon making it through the door, kicking your shoes off and hanging up your bag in the mudroom.

"We're in the kitchen!" That was your mother, voice sounding chipper and excited. You took a deep breath and prepared yourself for a few hours' worth of fake smiles and small talk. Maybe you would be able to get out of the conversation early by referring to your homework as an excuse. All you really wanted was to eat some food and take a nap. But, you walked into the kitchen with a smile plastered on anyway, appeasing your mother.

However, those seated around your kitchen island surprised you. It was your mother, Clay, a woman that looked around Clay's age, and the boy.

The boy with the blue hoodie, and the headphones, and the red jeep. The boy that the sang in the parking lot. The boy that the entire school was avoiding.

You could feel that shock spread across your face, and you couldn't even find it in yourself to try and hide it. You didn't want to be rude, but the surprise was more than you could handle in the moment.

"Y/N, this is Kim Eonjin, and her younger brother, Taehyung. They'll be staying with us for a few months while their mother is busy abroad. Isn't this great?!"

2] prey

"What?" you said in a tone of complete disbelief at your mother's news. Two strangers coming to live with your family? One of them being the most negatively talked about boy in school? This was utter social suicide for you.

Your mother smiled through gritted teeth, "Aren't you excited about our new guests?" she forced in a fake happy tone, likely trying to communicate for you to stop being so rude. You couldn't help your initial shock and feeling of anxiety and fear at the news, though. Out of all people, why did it have to be him?

"Um, yeah! Yeah, this is great!" You exclaimed, far over-doing your fake happiness to the point that you nearly made yourself cringe. "I'm sorry, I was just caught off guard," you said, desperately trying to recover simply for the sake of not getting in trouble with your mom later. The only thing worse than Kim Taehyung living in your house would be to get grounded, and then be stuck with Kim Taehyung in your house.

"I hope we aren't intruding," Eonjin began, "We really appreciate your mother, I mean, Rebecca's hospitality toward us. Haha, I keep forgetting you've given me permission to call you by your first name," Eonjin chuckled, and so did your mom. The girl was pretty, her hair dark and her lips a glossy pink. And Clay was staring at her. You didn't know if you should laugh or gag at that one.

"You aren't intruding one single bit," Rebecca reassured Eonjin, a hand on her shoulder. "I would do anything for your family; you guys have been so good to us over the years. I probably wouldn't have survived University if it wasn't for your mom."

You furrowed your eyebrows, words flying out of your mouth before you had the chance to really think it through, "If they've been so good to us over the years, how come I've never heard of them before?

Rebecca was shooting daggers at you with her eyes again, and you clamped your mouth shut. That probably wasn't the best thing to say in this situation.

"While it's been several years since I've seen Mrs. Kim myself, I know that she was a great friend to mother while in college," Clay allowed, effortlessly smoothing over the awkward tension with a few simple words. Clay had a calming presence that was always quick to affect everyone. It was yet another one of his unique talents.

"That's right! She helped me out with my living expenses while we were in University together. She would always split her groceries with me, and even helped me get my first internship at the law firm. I've never been able to truly pay her back until now...She told me that she was leaving with Mr. Kim to go abroad for work until January, and that Eonjin and Taehyung would be staying at home. The thought of them both busy with school, stressed, and with no one to take care of them didn't sit well with me. So, I offered to take them while she was away to pay her back for all the times she helped me out before. Eonjin transferred to Clay's old university, and Tae is at your high school now!"

You blinked, taken aback by all the information, and by the fact that all of this was real, and in fact happening. Taehyung would be living in your house until January. Four whole months. How were you going to hide the fact that he was living in your house for four whole months? If people at school found out, you'd be done for. Mallory, Sage, Kennedy...They would ditch you in a heartbeat. You'd be a complete outcast, all because Taehyung acted like a freak on the first day of school.

"Oh..." you managed, forcing your lips to curve into a small smile.

"Have you met Taehyung yet? Did you two see each other today?" Taehyung looked up then, his eyes officially meeting yours for the first time. They were dark and compelling, almost intimidating in a way.

"We haven't met yet," you truly heard his voice for the first time, low and soothing, "I'm Taehyung," he stood from his stool, bridging the small gap between you the two of you so he could shake your hand. His skin was soft.

"Nice to meet you," you returned the handshake, and he offered you a small smile before sitting back down in his seat.

"Alright, I hate to leave so soon, but I'm on night rotation at the hospital, so it's time for me to get going," Clay said politely, reaching for his bag that was sitting on the opposite counter. You felt a pang of anxiety at the thought of Clay leaving so soon; he was such a good buffer when it came to dealing with people. "Oh, Y/N, by the way," he said as he turned back toward you, "If you have psych homework, I can help you with it later. Same to you, Taehyung."

"Thanks," Taehyung nodded, and you did as well.

"I'll be going then," Clay waved to everyone, and disappeared off down the hallway.

"Why don't you two go and get settled in; we have two empty bedrooms upstairs. Y/N, you should go ahead and get started on your homework before dinner is ready," your mom suggested. You were relieved to be excused from the situation, wanting to shut yourself in your room for a few hours and sulk about all the struggles that were now to come.

////

"I want you to take this cup of tea to Taehyung's room, okay? Eonjin said it was his favorite, and that he really likes to drink it in the evenings. It's the least you can do considering the way you behaved earlier. Your reaction to their moving in was rude," Your mother passed the mug to you later on that night. You sighed, taking it in your hands.

Dinner was slightly awkward and only composed of you, your mom, Taehyung, and Eonjin. Your father was working late at the office and Clay was off at the hospital, leaving just the four of you. Eonjin sat across from your mom, and Taehyung sat across from you, rendering not accidentally making awkward eye contact nearly impossible.

Taehyung was polite and would answer questions when your mother would ask them, but he didn't freely add onto the conversation, or ask questions of his own. The two of you didn't directly speak to one another for the entirety of the dinner. Needless to say, you were glad when it was over.

"I'll apologize," you said simply to get your mom off your back, and left to take the tea to Taehyung. Truthfully, you did feel that you'd been a little rude, and maybe you were being selfish. But, if anyone at school found out about this, your life would be over. Taehyung wasn't losing anything by living with you, but you were risking everything.

Taehyung's door was open when you approached, his room at the opposite end of the hall from yours. You knocked with your free hand anyway, and he looked up from where he was sitting at his desk.

"Oh," he said, his voice just as low and soothing-sounding as it had been before. "Hi."

"My, um, my mom said this was your favorite tea?" He stood, taking the cup from your hands. He was in black skinny jeans and a plain white T-Shirt now; the first time you had seen him without a hoodie. His frame was small but clearly toned, something you hadn't been able to observe when he had been covered up.

"Yeah, thank you." He smiled a bit, and there was a small space of awkward silence. You internally cringed.

"Um, Taehyung, I-I'm sorry if I was rude before. You know, when my mom said you guys would be moving in. I was just surprised, that's all," you stammered, hoping he would buy your lame apology so you could stop feeling so guilty about before.

He took a sip of the tea, a few moments passing before he replied. "Did your mom make you come and say that to me?" His question didn't sound rude, or harsh, or anything of that sort at all. His intonation practically didn't change. His voice was smoother than any other you'd ever heard, his composure seemingly never rattled.

"I, um, well..."

"It's okay, regardless," he took another sip of tea, eyes not leaving yours.

"Oh. Well, um, enjoy your tea," you offered, not knowing what else to say. You started to turn to leave, but paused in the doorway as something occurred to you. You hesitated for a moment before turning back around to face him.

"One more thing..."

Taehyung eyed you from behind his mug, "Sure."

You ducked your head out into the hallway, seeing that your mother and Eonjin were talking at the end of it. You pushed his bedroom door shut, not wanting to risk being overheard. You'd be grounded for months if you mom heard what you were about to say.

"I honestly really hate to ask this of you..."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Look, I hang out with the popular crowd at school, and they're not exactly the most understanding or forgiving people...And...They can't know you're living here. Actually, no one can know you're living here. Please don't say anything to anyone at school," you spit the words out, feeling terrible for having to so. But, they were words you felt had to be said.

"Oh."

"I-It's not personal, okay? Again, I'm sorry to have to ask you to keep this a secret. But, really, people can't find out."

"Really? 'It's not personal'?" he chuckled, "So I guess your friends are the ones who made sure no one talked to me at school today, right?" He was looking dead into your eyes, and you gulped.

"...Yeah. I mean, I wanted to stop it-"

"So, why didn't you, then?" His words didn't sound like they came from a place of anger or hurt. It felt more like he was challenging you, the corner of his mouth flicking up into smirk, his eyes intense and refusing to leave yours.

"My friends, they're just so...judgmental. Once they make up their mind about somebody, it's practically impossible to change it...Me telling them to stop never does any good. It just makes my life harder," you admitted, hating how self-absorbed that last sentence sounded. You were only worrying about yourself.

Taehyung pursed his lips, nodding. "I understand."

"Really?"

"I'll keep your secret. I won't tell anyone," he finally moved, sitting back down at his desk, and set the cup of tea down.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry," you grimaced, turning to leave. You felt relieved that he agreed to stay quiet about the situation, but the conversation left you feeling abnormally uneasy.

"But Y/N," he called out, stopping you in your tracks. You turned around. He made full eye contact yet again, intimidating you even more than he had the first time.

"You should know that if you're afraid of the people you call your friends, then they aren't really your friends at all," he took another sip of tea then, and put his headphones in. "Shut my door on your way out."