CHAPTER ONE

It was an average day, a normal Wednesday, a day we had planned to meet at the library but unfortunately it couldn't work out.

"Dammit those guys" she sighs as she watches the second bus for the day fill up and rally out, the third bus will be at exactly 7pm

"where are you guys" she whispers to herself

"Marrielle!" I turned to the much farmilar voice from behind me as I locate the cause of my worry.

My three stupid friends who are in college now arrive at the bus stop and stand next to me, all having apologetic gazes on.

"we agreed to meet at the library at four but you guys couldn't make it cos you had extra classes?" I ask as I examine them

"y-yes that's right" I hear Rose say, she's a brunette with clear brown eyes and creamy smooth skin

"Hmm, you guys don't look like someone who's been in class though" I say as I scrutinize them

"Well that's because we had lunch or rather a short dinner before coming here" Johnathan/Joan said. you must be asking why he has two names, well that's because he's a special being, he has two genders, literally and can change to both of them.

Johnathan when he's normal is a dark haired slightly dark Caucasian male, prolly has Latino blood somewhere but he's a Caucasian male through and through.

He's your average next door hot neighbor, with his good looks and smile, especially with those almost black orbs of his.

You'd think that someone like him will have thousands of girls trying to gain his attention but that isn't the case, well it's not his fault that he was cursed (?).

John was born a boy but at about four months old he suddenly transformed into a girl.

His female part is blond and ridiculously beautiful, she would have been perfect if he didn't have his defect.

He had an abnormaly long and huge belly button that almost always stands out, it's so long it could trail the floor of he didn't tie it around itself severally making it look like a ball so people think he has a pot belly.

I guess nothing really is perfect in this world.

well since his parents couldn't throw him out they had to take in his other gender too and named her Joan.

"Seriously?" I said slightly annoyed since I've been standing here for a long time.

"We're sorry" Steve, another member in our group, he's blond and wears glasses but he's really annoying so I don't usually like to pay him attention, so I turn back to the space where the third bus should be arriving.

Soon after the third bus finally came through.

We got in and started on our way to our various destinations which was practically the same place since we've been neighbors for as long as I can remember.

On the way home we, rather they kept talking about how things were for them in school, but since I've been denied admission three times in a roll I had nothing to bring to the conversation so I just stayed quiet, listened when it got good but all the other time I just minded my business as I watched the passing scenario outside.

Soon we arrived at our next bus stop which we then highlighted and since we live next to each other we just walked home together.

Well except Steve who lived downtown so he had to wait for the next bus

"See you guys later" he said as we waved.

I walked home with Rose and Johnathan/Joan talking about something I couldn't be bothered with as I was in deep thoughts.

I was preparing myself for when I finally get home, what kind of hell awaited me today that I didn't know of.

"Hey Mom! " Rose waved as she saw her mom returning it seems like she had grocery shopping

"Hello" she greets

"Hey Mrs. Thomson" I and John greet as we saw her

" Ah hey guys how are y'all doing this fine evening" she said smiling, Mrs. Thomson is a jovial and nice lady to a fault and she Knows how to joke.

We all like her here

"We're good, just came back from the library" I said smiling

"Awwn ain't y'all a noble student" she said smiling we returned her smile too

" If it isn't a problem would it be okay if we could help you with your bags? " I asked

" Oh what a lovely gal you are, Rose here never volunteer to help me out" she turned to give Rose a stank eye which she rolled her eyes at, we laughed as we helped take her things to her house which was side by side with John's.

This was my excuse to delay having to get home.

Even if it's for a short while I want to draw out my peace for as long as possible.

Unfortunately it was short lived as I finished helping Mrs. Thomson and John went home it was just me by myself as I walked quietly back to my hell that I call home.

Using my keys I opened the door

"I'm home" I say quietly as there seemed to be nobody around. I almost heaved a sigh of relief but thought better of it till I had gotten to my room. Quietly I walked past the living room and kitchen and just when I was about to get to my room I hear my parents room door open

"Another fruitless day at the library huh?" my Mom said

" What's the need of spending all your time there when we all know you can't ever pass the entrance examination, all your classmates and Juniors and Juniors Juniors all passed and are either in some prestigious university or just a college by the block but you?

you?

you can't even passed tht entrance examination" my mom said with disdain

" And it's your fault for having to give birth to such an incapable daughter, she should be sent to learn a trade, I'm tired of spending money on her" my father comes out of the room and joins in the festival of my humiliation.

"We can't do that, we have to do anything possible to send her to a good university or my friends will have the last laugh! " my mom raised her voice

"Besides she's your daughter too!!"

"I'm beginning to doubt that, Luke I can agree he's my son, look how much better he's doing at school and he only wrote the entrance examination once now that's my child but this! " he pointed at me

" That's not mine" with that I heard my already broken heart shatter, I bit my bottom lip as I decided not to listen anymore and headed to my room to take a breath

"Where are you going young lady?!" my mom screams from behind me as I slam the door shut, I closed my eyes to take a deep breath to stop the tears

"It's okay, I'm okay, I'm used to this" I said taking deep breath as I opened my eyes slowly.

Before me my room was a mess, it looked like someone came to deliberately destroy things and I know who did it, Luke and with that name the flood gates where broken as the tears I tried to contain began rushing forth, I sat at the bottom of my door emptying my eyes out

Along the darkness she wanders, a world of unknown she covers distance in a destination she knows nothing about, she walks for a long time without fully getting to her senses.

The darkness was so peaceful sge wanted to become one with it, disappear into it so she would be able to cast away my worries.

For awhile she trots on until a shrilling loud and annoying sound Pierce's through her comfort waking her in a start.

She looks around trying to grasp her situation when she realizes that she was only dreaming.

The day was still very dark outside but she had to be awake now because no one else would.

She needed the silence to concentrate on her work today. She turns off my alarm reading 3am in the morning, she prays and thank God for the day, goes to her bathroom washes her face and brushes her teeth.

She didn't have the time to take a bath so she went to her desk and does a 10mins review on her notes, trying to see if she could remember what she studied on the topics yesterday.

When she was confident in her self she makes her bed and cleans up her room, opens her windows and then leaves her temporary Haven, it was time to begin her chores before her parents woke up and put her in a tough spot.

She cleans every corner she knew in the building except her brother's room since she had no access to it.

She checks the time seeing that it was a little bit past 5am she went to the kitchen and began making breakfast.

The moment she was done she took her share then fled to her room before anyone caught her.

Dropping her food on her desk she goes to take her bath and after began studying and having breakfast.

The only time she would need to leave her bedroom would be when everyone was done eating and she had to do the dishes.

In that moment and in that time she was so focused on her work that everything became still and quiet, at this point she couldn't hear or think about what was going on or how fast time flew except her notes in front of her, she scribbles on her notes for so long she didn't hear her door open and her mother walked in staring at her with annoyance as she studied.

"Marielle!" she says loudly causing her to jolt and turn to her mother in surprise

"M-mother good morning" she stutters

"why have you been ignoring me?!" she yells

"I-i haven't"

" oh really? then why didn't you respond all the times I called you?! "

" I'm sorry ma I didn't hear you"

" of course you wouldn't, you're deaf now"

at that Marielle remains quiet

" you think just because we're in the States I wouldn't beat you? don't forget that you're originally a Nigerian before a citizen of America and I'll raise you the way my parents raised me" she says walks up to Marielle pulling her by her sleeves roughly she takes her to the kitchen

"Now clean these dishes, don't make me any angry than I am right now" she finishes and walks away.

Marielle takes a deep breath then began doing the dishes, leaving temporarily she takes her plates from her room then comes back to the kitchen to clean everything left undone there by the time she had finished with everything the time read 8am when the library opens and with that she leaves the house with her bag to the library.

putting on her headphones she waits briefly for the bus at the bus stop when it came she got in, grabs a seat then listens to her music till she arrives at the library.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Marielle

I greet Sonny the librarian which she returns with a smile, I grab my favorite corner and I begins her study session.

Five minutes into it I sighs and lean back into my seat staring at the ceiling.

"I'd sure be great if I could know everything, then at least I'll know what I'm missing" I whisper to myself as I shuts my eyes close

"I might be able to help you" a sudden but familiar voice says to me causing me to quickly open my eyes, only to see John's face so close to my own as he stares down at me, I was so surprised I bet my eyes were the size of a tennis ball as I quickly tried to move away only to hit my face to his

"argh!" she cradles her face in her arms the same time I heard John cuss

"I'm sorry" he says holding his mouth, I must have hit him there with my forehead

"I'm sorry too" I say smiling at him which he returns

"why are you hear by the way? don't you have class? " I say lowly to him

" well I don't usually have on Thursdays so I decided to come to the library today in hopes that I'll hang out with you" he smiles

" har har, if I didn't know you any better I'd think you were charming" I joke

" well I am, you're just blind to fall for me" he says causing me to laugh softly

" so you want to know everything right?"

"oh that ignore that, I was just saying nonsense" I say dismissing him as I began to go through my notes again

"you forgot your note with me so I wanted to return it yesterday after you went home" he begins to explain causing me to turn to him only to see a look in his eyes that caused my heart to stir in a not so good way.

pity? genuine sorrow? what is it that he's about to say that makes him give me such expression I think to myself

"Okay" I say watching him warily

"The door was unlocked so I went in and overheard your parents conversation" he finishes watching me for anything which I replied to with a horrified expression as I recall the event of yesterday I drop my face in my hands in utter embarrassment

"how long has it been going on?" he asked softly which I chuckled too

" three years or so" I say letting out an exasperated breath

"why didn't you tell us?"

"didn't see the need to announce my problems" I say nonchalantly

" what if I said I can help you?"

"how? not like you have influence or relatives with top notch educational influencers that could make my burden lighter" I turn a page

"well I can't do that but I can help you know everything" he said lowly and Seriously as he watches around in case someone was listening to their conversation, I gave him a ludicrous look

"look I can't here, don't want to risk it since there are too many people about" he says with such seriousness I was a bit baffled

"will you come with me?" he asked giving me his hands I was so surprised I didn't know what to think at the moment so I took his hand

"sure" maybe if I hadn't agreed, who knows, I would have at least prevented the incident from happening.

I follow John out of the library, leaving my things there since I was sure to return, we walk for a while stopping at the public park which was only a short walk from the library. John finds a bench away from any body out by that time, which was quite small considering the time it was, once we were seated he looks around again making sure no one was within ear shot then he take a deep breath then turns to me with a steely gaze.

"you know about my problem right?" he says

"which of them because I know you have a lot" I joke arching a brow

" no not that Mari, let's be serious, I'm talking about my gender problem" he said causing the wind out of me, I know how sensitive that is too him he can't even talk about it because of how serious it is, it has stripped him of normality and his confidence so he hates that part of him to the core. And to think that he'd be open to speak to me, immediately all signs of playfulness drains out of me as I give him my utmost attention

"yeah I know about it" I say watching him

"well I don't know how to explain it to you but that thing is not actually a gender or even human" he says causing my eyes to widen

"what do you mean? "

" that's a subconsciousness in visible form" he says so seriously that I had to laugh to check if he was playing with me

"I'm serious Mari, I mean look at the possibility of me being able to interchange between two genders literally, that in itself isn't supposed to be possible" I stopped laughing as I watched him

" but it is." I say

"lemme explain" he says causing me to give him my full attention again

"the soul, body and spirit, the body in the physical form, the soul in the unseen form and before it is the spirit. you might not understand it so I'll put it this way, the consciousness, here we are" he waves his arms around indicating the things we see

" the unconsciousness the things we can't see and the subconsciousness before it" he says

"I think I understand but where is this going and how does it relates to your situation? " I asked confused

" well you see, how do you think it's possible for humans to think? to form near real images in our heads? how can we see without using our eyes, what is the brain and how those it connect with everything? how can we have dreams? how can we see things that hasn't happen and then it does sometimes? all of this are usually categorized as imagination right? "

" yeah we imagine things" I nod but still don't get what's happening

" how and why do you think we imagine this? instincts us what gives us the ability to even think and see this but what is instincts? "

I stay quiet as I ponder his question

" well instinct is a natural impulse or behavior?"

"and how do we get this, how does it come to us? it's all happening in the subconscious otherwise known as the sixth sense" he says smiling

" you hear of great men having discover things after they imagined it, some say they tapped into the sixth sense, some say they were told on their dreams but I know how it actually happens" he says

I frown at him confused

" what's going on right now?"

"my other form Joan is a sixth sense and somehow because she felt trapped to the world of the mind she made contact to my infant self, manipulating me to make a deal with her so she can borrow my body for one day a week and she stays in that form for 5 hours in that day" he frowns in annoyance as stare at him confusedly

" wait what?! how were you able to form a contract when you were only four months old?! "

" well the thing is babies have guards on their mentality, a type of being that prevents the sixth sense from taking advantage of physical self and cause havoc but she made a deal and made it that she was at a disadvantage, somehow her longing to see the physical world for herself was great it willed me as a child to agree, plus she also added that she would give me the exclusive wisdom she had but only for a limited time because part of the deal also involved that she would stop interfering with the physical world when I'm 25yrs old" he stops to shut his eyes firmly as he struggles with a sort of internal turmoil he had having to tell me a this.

at this point I was so confused that I remained silent, was thinking so much that I couldn't even think of what to ask

"so I don't get it, the guardian allowed it?" i asked

"the guardian did because the creator allowed it"

" the creator? you mean God? "

" well yes I think, he goes by several names"

" I have so many questions"

" and I still have a lot to say"

" okay go on, I'll wait till you finish"

"this is where it gets really really serious"

" okay"

" you know how the male genetics involves the x and y chromosomes? and the female just two y's?"

" yeah"

" well that's so how it is with the subconscious... they all assume the forms or women, no matter what gender a woman gives the wisdom, they're like perfect beings, they try to imitate the human bodies they guide because of their longing for humanity, they are both good and evil, reasons for the dark thoughts you have sometimes depending on what you choose to think about and how often you want to the subconscious can be either mostly good or mostly evil, it could even be pure evil so bad that it even directs you on your actions, depending on how much you listen to it"

" drug addicts, murderers and rapist call whatever, they are what they are because they chose to give in too it, and because of how much control they have over the bodies they use them to do what they want, to experiment, to see how the world is" he says watching me which I do too."

"they're position with the soul is directly in front of them, they just sit in front of you, watching you as they whisper ideas and suggestions which form into the imaginations in your mind, in the unseen world though they are perfect they have no eyes, they can't form any because they cannot see they can only whisper to you, that's why they want our eyes, to be able to see the light.

and our form? we sit opposite them facing them but with our eyes closed, the moment you open your eyes in the unseen world, if you have a weak heart they will immediately tempt you and take your body, leaving your mind to wonder but because of the connection with the soul and the body the physical form may either die out or go crazy, that's why deals are important"

" wait what about the guardians? "

" well they leave the moment we turn 6years old, the we have absolute awareness and can make decisions for ourselves"

" let me ask you, you had could make the decision for yourself then would you agree to the contract? "

" hell no, this whole shit has ruined my life, people fear me and if not for you wouldn't have any friends, my parents almost threw me out and my life is in total jeopardy, I have a belly button 5meters long that I have to wrap around and disguise it as a fat tummy and I hide my secret from everyone, I can't even lose my virginity and I'm 21 years old! how could I agree to something like that? the wisdom is fine and all but because of it my life is ruined" he breathes heavily

" hmm" I hum thinking about what he said