PROLOGUE

She stared at his immense dark eyes, void of every emotion, his eyes fierce, his lips tight and  stare deadly, a feeling erupted inside of her instantly.

What was this she felt?

fear ? lust? Fucking fear!

What was she scared of ? He  couldn't do nothing to her, he wouldn't even dare.

Had she overstepped her boundaries? her thoughts vanished immediately as he approached her quickly in Long strides.

They were so close now, impossible to get even closer. The large room  suddenly felt small as his lips grazed her ears slowly, shivers ran through her to her core, her legs weak and face flushed, pale.

A low Grunt erupted from his throat as he sniffed her, he breathed in her scent of lavender and lemon detergents, she smelt so fucking nice, she always did.

"Take off your clothes Adira" he whispered

She stayed still, she knew this was wrong but nodded steadily and did as was told.

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CHAPTER 1: PERFECT DECISIONS.

Adira stared at the tray before her, she had put her best into these snacks and hoped they would sell as fast as she desired them to.

"they smell nice love, and taste just as good" her best friend reassured her, and she needed just that, with one last sigh and a bite from one of the biscuits, she grabbed her tray and kissed her best friend goodbye.

The walk to the bakery was rather long, her anxiety was at it's peak and her hands wet from sweat

What if they weren't good enough or attractive and should be?

Was signing the contract a right decision?

However, It was too late to step back, so she closed her eyes and pushed open the door to the bakery.

As the bell rang alerting that someone had arrived, the waitress behind the counter looked up to her and signalled her to come forward

"hi" she greeted the young blonde girl before her

"hi dear, what can I get you"  Adira's eyes moved to her name tag, she thought it was better and more respectful to speak to the girl addressing her by her name, but she couldn't seem to  make out the letters to her name.

"Marie" the girl spoke again

"what?"

"my name, it's Marie" the blonde seemed to have noticed Adira's difficulty in making out her name from the rather small tag placed  above her breasts.

"Oh!" she chuckled "thank you Marie, I'm here for the manager, Mr Williams, could you please alert him for me"

"would do, your name please" marie jovially spoke, grabbing a sheet of paper.

"Adira... Adira Jacobs"  she smiled Softly at her.

The young waitress scribbled her name down on the sheet of paper and walked into a door behind.

Adira stared at the bakery while waiting for the waitress to return, it looked so beautiful and smelt so nice, she had hoped to own her bakery sometime soon, but why dream too far when you can stick with pleasing people and hoping you would meet Mr Williams expectations..

Half an hour later, Marie walked out the door and stared at her, she smiled as usual but this time it didn't reach her eyes.

"Mr Williams would see you now, you must walk through that door, the first door by your right" Marie spoke quickly.

"Thank you so much"

Upon her arrival, the door to Mr Williams office was wide opened, so she poked her head in and cleared her throat loudly to tell she was present .

The manager raised his head to the door and smiled cheekily when he saw her.

"Adira!" He exclaimed rubbing his exfoliated hands together " do come in"

She walked in immediately after he spoke and placed the tray on the table.

" Hi Mr Williams,  good to see you"

"What can I say dear, you look just as good" "and this better" he added, his eyes fixated on the tray.

She smiled warmly feeling her toes curl due to so much excitement and nervousness.

"How many do you have there" he came again.

"As much as requested"

"Nice, can I try one?"

"Sure" Adira blushed and released one to him.

The pace of her heart beat quickened and her tongue tied as Mr William placed the snack on his tongue.

Everything suddenly felt normal as he moaned,  nodding his head steadily at the taste of the biscuits.

"so good miss Jacob, perfect" he smiled exposing his old brown sets of teeth.

Adira smiled back warmly and cheekily.

"Here is your money" he placed an envelope on the table and she reached out for it's almost immediately

"we hope to see you next month"

"yes, yes, you most definitely will" she giggled "thank you Mr Williams, I'd come back for the tray, thank you so much."

She counted the money immediately she left the bakery and was happy he kept up to the deal it was exactly as much as promised and she had never made that much money from her baking

Everything happened so fast, she was just a casual student who fancied baking and sold biscuits on campus and now she was supplying her biscuits to a bakery.

An entire fucking bakery.

Signing that contract was a very perfect decision, she had been anxious before she did so but now she had no doubt on it.

Walking back to her Safe Space felt shorter given that there were no anxious feelings or nervousness, she was thinking about how far she could go and wondering if her baking  could carry her further than she had ever believed.

Her thoughts were however interrupted by the vibration of her phone, she had put it that way  to avoid noise from it while speaking with Mr Williams

Adira read the caller ID and it said Elizabeth

Elizabeth! Fucking Elizabeth!!

She hardly ever got called by this particular female.

What the hell... What went wrong??

She was panicking, she was fucking panicking

"Stop panicking and pick the god damn call Adira!!" she yelled to herself and slowly moved her hands to tap the green button

"Adira!"  the voice called "it's your father he.."

The woman paused.

Her heart was racing the way it did every time she felt anxious, all colour from her face drained, what happened to her father?? Why wasn't Elizabeth speaking.

"He  what?" She exclaimed pacing around "Stop stammering and speak please!"

She could feel terrible for speaking to her fathers nurse this way, but not now, all she felt was fear, anger, pain, anxiety and there was definitely no room for remorse, poor Elizabeth.

"He's in a very critical condition" the nurse managed to say and ended the call immediately.

and just like that, all the excitement from the bakery

GONE!!

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Every other person would rush to the hospital immediately, but it was different for Adira, she stared into space for the longest time,  panicking.....  breathing rapidly.

Her dad was in a critical condition, what the hell does that even mean??? Had she heard correctly??

had he died?  Was everything fine?

He was fine when she left him yesterday, they had a conversation, a decent conversation they spoke of college although she had been lying that she was taking it seriously, she really wasn't.

Things went down, she had to keep up with the baking for the little income she made from it to provide for her dad and herself,  she wouldn't call herself a drop out because she wasn't, neither would she say she lost interest in school, because she didn't, she just wasn't as active as should be in college, yes she still wrote exams and tried to keep up but her grades were still terrible and she wasn't fine with it but  life had changed for her right from the moment her mum left but it had taken its worst turn currently.

Her father had never been the dominant one of the family, they were always dependent on her mother till she cheated, divorced her father and shit went crazy, life was terrible, her father fell ill and everything was hard to purchase, difficult to manage

She had the responsibility of taking care of her ill father till the nurse Elizabeth was gifted from her mother, the most perfect gift they had ever received.

Elizabeth was such a kind soul, literally so sweet and treated her father  so beautifully, one could say Elizabeth loved him as her own, Adira could see that, she could feel that and it pleased her, it made her feel comfortable, pleasant, insecure at times but good at most.

Her father was such a lovely man, his face would light up every time his daughter arrived, they'd crack jokes and watched the sun set together then she'd prepare a nice meal for him and he'd spend at most half an hour reminding her how perfect of a cook she was.

"you cook just like your mother" he would say to her and she would smile with bitterness in her heart, if anything do not compare Adira to her mother, although she possessed a lot of features from her mother but that only let a constant hatred for every part of her body that was similar to her mothers.

she didn't lack confidence, no, not at all, she just despised those parts of her body as it served as a constant reminder, that she belonged to Natalia, her mother.

The woman took away so much pleasure from her and replaced it with agony. Her happiness, her Serenity but most importantly her brother Scott.

The joy in her family was genuine years ago or so she thought, Scott would awaken her before the sun had risen and they will play catch till the sun had set, their friendship was beautiful although he was quite older than she was, she never felt far apart with him. Natalia had ripped her off the very pleasant gift she had ever received and left with Scott after the divorce.

At that time scott was the most important person to her. They had possessed so many similarities that one could obviously tell they were siblings. Adira loved it that way, she loved that it was obvious that they were related because to her, scott was extremely handsome.

Many thought so as well, the young boy looked so sweet and most would describe him as beautiful, they’d praise him and treat him with so much respect. Honesty adira didn’t mind, their neighbors would always assume she was jealous that her brother got all the praises and she didn’t.

Sometimes, once in a while though, she'd feel insecure and unloved but that would only last a short period of time as he'd come to cheer her up. To be honest, scott didn’t really like all the praises and compliments, he didn’t want to hear anything on how people felt about him, positive or not.

When scott had noticed his family was falling apart, he feared being away from his sister more than she did, he knew his mother's intentions and with that, scott knew she was going to leave soon.

Their mother had always preferred him to Adira, there was a time she had loved the both of them equally, would get them gifts from work, they'd walk down together and all of that, but things changed as they grew older. Her love for one surpassed the other.

Adira really felt bad when she'd notice the sweet gestures her mother gave scott, she'd observe the hundred of gifts she presented to him, she had grown so distant from her mother and being a child then, no matter how badly she treated her, adira still loved her very much. She'd pray and wish that her mother would bgin to feel love and compassion for her as she used to but nothing happened. It remained the same.

After some time, she hardly felt the pain or the hatred again as scott would treat her more than she hoped to be treated. He was everything she imagined a brother to be, sweet, lovable and caring. Although, scott knew before time that he'd be leaving with his mother, he said nothing to Adira about it, due to fear on  her reaction to it. That was why it pained adira more that he had known he was to leave but said nothing to her.

With that, her trust isues began, it ws very difficult for adira to trust somneone, she felt absolutely betrayed by her beloved brother and was not willing to feel that way again, some would not consider such act from scott as betrayal, they'd call it fear, worry and name it whatever they wanted to but only adira could understand.

No one woud feel the way she did, that the one she had loved the most had done that to her, it was a very terrible feeling to her but sadly nothing could be done, so she held tight to her dear father and began to question if her brother had only acted that way to her out of pity that she lacked moherly love.

Because he had  turned out to be a fucking bastard!!

Had never called her since he left, never wished her a happy birthday nor wished their father one, no visits at all, no texts, no calls, not even letters of well wishes, nothing!

He left her just as Natalia did and the hatred she possessed for Natalia she possessed for him as well.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly grabbed her cell phone, she needed to get to the hospital and she needed a ride.

Adira was seated at the passenger seat of Lucas car, she watched his hands tighten around the steering trying to move as fast as he could.

" you can calm down you know, he's not dead yet" she sniffed

"we need to get there on time" Luca spoke not even sparing her a glance.

" yes but alive"

He gave her a frown accompanied with a small nod and reduced his pace "yes ma'am"

She chuckled and slapped his arm lightly, he let out a dramatic scream, she rolled her eyes at that.

"Dang girl! What you been feeding on?"

She giggled, glancing at her friend, he had always been there for her and their friendship had aged so well over the years.

He drove into the hospital parking in a corner instantaneously

"I'd be right here, call me if you need me" she nodded trying to be the strongest person she could, and gave him a warm smile before stepping out the vehicle.

Elizabeth approached her the moment she stepped into the building

"how is he?" her voice was weak and her face pale.

" I don't know" the female nurse panicked "everything is ongoing"

"Okay, okay" she spoke "let's remain on the positive side, everything will be fine"

Elizabeth nodded and it amazed Adira that a woman could love a stranger so much.

They had been out there for about 4 hours, she didn't want to approach no one to avoid panicking, so she sat still and chewed on her nails, an action she hardly partook in, as a matter of fact she felt gravely irritated by it but her anxiety was at its peak right now and it seemed to be the only thing that yielded her solace.

"Can I get you something to drink" Elizabeth asked and Adira met her gaze

"no, no I'm good"

"Adira" the nurse began "please"

"iced coffee, thank you" Elizabeth nodded and left forthwith, she needed this break as much as anyone else.

The nurse had returned right in time, the doctor had called for Adira and was advancing towards her.

"Miss Jacob" he called again.

"yes, yes, that's me" the young lady confirmed "how is he?" she asked, Crossing her fingers, a habit she was fond of when she hoped for good tidings.

"your father has cancer, leukaemia" the doctor said rather boldly.

what??

" I don't think that's right, sir" she chuckled " I spoke with him yesterday, he seemed just fine, he was perfectly well, if you need to run more tests we could wait i'd be very patient and let you do your thing."

The doctor smiled at her and wrapped his hands around the coffee, he was used to these kind of patients and would do what he normally did.

"we're certain it's leukaemia, there had been some observed mutation in the DNA of some cells in his bone marrow causing abnormal development and functioning in these cells, you just have to stay on the positive side and work with us, your father needs all the support and love he can get from you right now please stay strong, I'll see you in a short while" he nodded at the young lady and passed a small smile to the nurse beside her before walking away quickly.

"Elizabeth" Adira whispered

"Shh.. shh.., it's fine pull it together love" Elizabeth held the fragile girl before her, watching her tighten her lips and keep her face plain, her eyes dark and empty.

"excuse me" she said and walked away.

The moment she shut the door to the toilet, she let out a loud cry.

This was it, the end, how was she going to support her father, could he even stay strong enough? Where'd the money even come from? She was panicking

"Adira calm the **** down" she yelled to herself.

Oh God!

Her breathing paused, her eyes filled with tears. She was fond of holding up but she couldn't anymore, so she let it out. She cried so much that her eyes felt heavy and drowsy, everything spinning and she took a moment to calm herself down. She couldn't have a panick attack, not here, not now.

A few minutes later and she was out. Elizabeth informed her about a doctors arrival to see her, she nodded and approached a nurse for more information. In no time, she was sat before a doctor in a room occupied with photos of cancer patients perhaps, human body parts and inspirational quotes.

" you requested for me" she gazed at him.

" you know we need to communicate" he stared at her, his eyes full of pity and that disgusted the young lady so badly.

"Indeed"

"I'm your father's oncologist, Dr Smith, and I would like to begin the chemotherapy and other medications as soon as possible, however, we do need to discuss payments, we would begin regardless of full payments, but we need a start from you to actually involve ourselves in your father's condition." he peered at her, through his glasses.

"Go on"

"A basic round of chemo can cause $10,000 to $100,000 or more, it varies obviously" he paused "in your father's case, we are dealing with stage 3 leukaemia and it might require about 4 sessions a year, which would cost $48,000 in total. However, we'd like to begin the first session as soon as possible, so we hope that $12,000 dollars could be deposited to us to begin process or at least half of it, we would start whenever you're ready ma'am, the earlier the better" the oncologist took a sip of water and smiled at the woman before him.

"can I see my father please" he stared at her in disbelief.

"Ma'am, I just .."

"where is my father" she demanded.

He studied her for a while then pressed the button to a bell afterwards awaiting the arrival of the nurse

The male nurse came not long after, he spoke with the doctor and signalled her to come along.

The moment her eyes met with her father's she ran to him and gave him a hug, it lasted so long but felt brief the instant they had pulled away.

" I'm so sorry sweetheart I...."

"hey, hey, it's ok Dad, it's fine" she said wrapping her hands over his.

"'I'm too much of a burden for you love, I just want you to focus on your studies, I'd be fine, I'd learn to cope." he smiled and she fought the urge to cry.

" I love you Dad and I'll be here all the time, all the while"

He looked at his daughter and as she stared back, she saw the tears and fear in his eyes, finally he let them pour.

Oh beloved Jacobs!

"Dad it's really fine, please don't cry" she frowned hugging her father tightly

"The money, how could we ever afford that" his voice cracked as he spoke.

"it's fine dad, I told you my baking is providing enough, everything will be alright please look at me" she pressured.

He raised his feeble head to meet her gaze and she smiled, her eyes red and swollen but as she saw her dad before her, she knew she had to be strong, strong for him .

"All will be well dad, please don't bother" her heart was deeply troubled, but the moment her father nodded at her and kissed her hands, she knew there'd be a way.

she spent almost two hours with her dad before sending Elizabeth in, she dropped some money with the nurse for feeding and care, said a few goodbyes and promised to be back as soon as possible.

As Adira stepped into the cold dark night, she shivered, she had arrived at the hospital 10 hours ago and was just leaving.

Oh shit! Luca, she had forgotten to call him.

"hey Luca" she said into the speaker the moment he had picked.

"hi love, you done?"

"Yeah" she replied quietly "i'm sorry I didn't update you"

" it's fine" he said "are you ready to leave now?"

" what?!" no way

"are you still here?" her voice came again puzzled.

"Off course love where else"

"Luca, it's so late, you really should'nt have, have you had anything to eat?" she panicked trying to pace around the little distance she occupied

"You always panick Adira, I'm fine, walk down let's get you home"

And at the moment, she realized that even though the road was rough, she wasn't driving alone she had Luca, Elizabeth and the strongest person she had ever known herself.

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Luca was trying to make her feel the most comfortable she could feel. He would never understand how she felt because he had never been in such a situation but he knew it would hurt Adira so much.

The young man knew how much she loved her father. He knew how much they connected with each other, although he never really experienced fatherly love, he had his mother all through and he could imagine how devastated he would be if anything happened to her.

"I think you should freshen up" he smiled at her, trying to read her mind.

"yeah, I should" Adira sniffed watching him study her.

"come, I'd show you"

He held her hands guiding her movements, she knew he cared deeply for her but even with him besides her, she couldn't surpass the feeling of loneliness that clouded her. Luca took her to a large room, it was not something she'd describe as fancy but she loved it.

It made her feel satisfied and comfortable, she was the kind of person to find happiness or get excited in very common things, so it hadn't surprised him when she turned to him and spoke, smiling "I like it Lu, thank you."

"you coud spend more nights here, if you don't mind" he was hoping she'd say yes, then he could keep an eye on her. She had no one, just her father and now he was unstable.

"if you need anything, i'm down the hall."

She nodded at him, smiling again, It was obvious that she had forced the smile but he said nothing. He couldn't blame her, who would?

Adira shut the door and leaned on it warning herself not to weep. There was a time she wished she was unalive, had so many suicidal thoughts but thankfully her friends had been there for her.

If anything, she prayed that those feelings would not resurface any more. She needed to be strong for her father and most importantly herself. Adira kept reminding herself that she had been through worse situations so she'd be able to get past this too.

There were times she had starved the entire day, a couple amount of times she had cried herself to sleep but here she was, alive as well, so she was sure she could handle this and handle it extremely well.

With that in mind, she breathed in and out, a couple of times and headed to the bathroom, a long warm shower was what she needed to feel a little better, she dressed up in lucas clothing and walked down the hall to see him in the kitchen.

"hi" she called softly and he turned to her, smiling when their eyes met.

"im really not hungry Luca, im fine" she said to him, honestly, she didn't feel like having anything, she just wanted to sit with him and feel his comfort.

"just sit right there"

Adira sighed, doing as told. Not long after he approached her with a cup of coftee in his hands.

She eyed him before taking it "Thank you"

The two stared at each other sipping their coffee but saying nothing, luca wanted to know what she had been told in the hospital, it's gravity.

"Adira" she looked up to him "you know you can speak to me on anything right?"

she nodded trying her best to not let her lips quiver and sip her coffee quietly but it was difficult, reluctantly she spat her words out, gazing at the man before her as she did.

Watching him intensely to judge him the moment he showed an atom of pity.