I was cooking my ramen.

Isn’t this too cruel.

“Queen, my lady! You must stay alert!”

“Please give me one more push! Queen!”

“My lady! The baby cannot breathe! Please!”

In front of my eyes was a woman I have never seen before, lying on a large bed, holding onto the bars set at the end of the bed with all her strength. Her bloody legs were wide open, and multiple people surrounded the scene. Yes, this appears to be a birth scene. Someone blurted that they see a head. This had to be someone giving birth. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve slept through all the videos they played during sex education classes, and to think that I am seeing someone give birth in live action.

I wish someone from anywhere would come with a radar to announce that this isn’t for public viewing, block the scene, and tell me to get out, or even a dream. I really hope this isn’t the situation that I am thinking of. If I think rationally, I think this is what I am thinking, wait is it? Is this a rational thought? Does this make sense?

“Ahsee! What are you doing? At least go get the hot water!!”

I didn’t even have time to panic. Is “Ahsee” me? Then a maid holding a bloody cloth bumped into me, and dumbfounded, I found myself carrying a big basin of hot water amongst the maids.

Unfortunately, my hands and my feet both moved without my will and everything appeared extremely vivid. I could even hear the Queen’s mourns, despite her never screaming her pain aloud. I’m not sure how much pain she held, but it seemed pretty severe as everyone surrounding the Queen were earnestly watching and the Queen’s face was covered in blood sweat with her cheeks even redder due to her popped veins.

Just like that, I don’t recall how many times I carried water back and forth. When I turned around with an empty basin, I heard people cheer behind me. After a few splashing sounds, the cry of a baby burst aloud.

“It’s a prince, My Lady.”

“Congratulations!”

“Congratulations!”

Everyone who held with the birth from midwives, nannies, and women who seemed to be in higher officials, congratulated the Queen with great excitement. One of them cut the umbilical cord, wrapped the newborn baby in a towel, and handed the baby to the Queen who had been using all her strength until now.

I was finally able to see the face of the Queen, who held in her scream. Her face was hot and swollen from right after giving birth, but I could tell that she was a young woman. With a face unlike a mother who just gave birth, she accepted the baby wrapped in towel. I don’t know much about giving birth, but the face of the Queen was too peaceful for someone who just suffered through great pain to give birth. Maybe she’s exhausted?

“The King…”

“Yes, Queen. I sent a message to your Majesty, so he should be here soon.”

“Please rest until he comes, Queen. You could faint due to the amount of blood you lost.”

The conversation continued, and someone who seemed to be in charge gathered the maids into the room next door. She said they all had to stay there until the King saw his newborn prince. All the women, exhausted, sat down and I attempted to find a mirror around, but couldn’t so I grabbed one of the maids and asked.

“Is there no mirror here?”

“Mirror? Why?”

“I think my face is a mess.”

“Yeah. You should take care of your hair. There should be a big mirror in that room.”

After thanking her, I went into the room that I couldn’t see from the corner that I was at before. It seemed as if the place that we were all gathered in is a waiting area but it felt like a bathroom, and in there was a mirror.

I was there.

Despite wearing the rustic dress like all other maids outside the room, it was me. It was me, unchanged. If I opened that door and left, even if it wasn’t my room, it would feel just as me in Seoul or Incheon. No wonder everything felt vivid that my hands and feet felt like mine. Should I be glad? Isn’t my life being too harsh on me?

Yes, this is a fantasy world. Anyways, this is not Seoul, South Korea. The event that occurred in front of my eyes with a woman I have never seen before giving birth, and everyone yelling “Queen,” in dresses like the ones I’ve seen in cartoons– this cannot be a movie set and if it doesn’t feel like a dream– it must be a fantasy world. It’s okay, I am calm. No, I want to escape reality!! This cannot be real!!

When I was in middle and high school, I read fantasy novels wishing I could go into this world. Some places seemed rough, but I just wanted to leave. I wanted to go into a different place and hear from someone that I was needed in that world. While I was taking the SAT, I desperately wished there was a hole in a dark ally or something that would take me to another world, but there wasn’t any handsome man or an owl with an envelope looking for me and saying they were here to escort me away. I’ve spent my 20s and my college years accepting that there were no such things, so why now??

“And I don’t even look different!!!!”

This is too cruel.

I should calm down. If I am able to calm down here, I might not feel like an actual person, but I have to calm down to live. I want to avoid the reality, but if I really don’t want to reach my goal then I must stay alert.

Admit it. I am in a fantasy world. The world I have been dreaming to be in since middle and high school.

As an average ordinary person.

My version of the entry into such a world was an appearance in a temple pond of a country where black hair is favored, an appearance after receiving the trust of the goddess, or an appearance on the wings of a phoenix; but no, I am here as an average person, a maid perhaps it seems like. I at least hoped there would be an appearance transformation, but not even. As a last attempt, I searched all over my body, but I found no significant marks, not even one. Admit it. I am an average ordinary person. My hope to flirt around with good looking men in this world and to eventually build a passionate romantic relationship with a prince that ultimately leads to marriage was crushed; I am just me—an average ordinary person.

“Ahsee. Prepare. The King is on the way.”

The door creaked open and the maid who showed me this room hold my frustrated self that I have to go into the hallway and wait. My life doesn’t even give me the time to remorse.

All the maids quickly left the room to line up in a bowed position at the end of the hallway. In this world, you cannot just look at high officials’ faces. The maid who brought me out was already in a bowed position, and I followed her lead to adjust my body. Then I realized that I don’t even know the name of the maid that I was portrayed as. I figured “Ahsee” might be my name, but other than that I knew of nothing else. Shouldn’t I at least have the memory of who I am so I can continue whatever it is that I have to do? I don’t even know what I should do as this maid.

The hallway, full of around 20 people all bowed down was quiet like a mouse, and the room the Queen gave birth appeared silent in the pitch-black darkness. As I counted to about 15 in my mind, I heard patterned footsteps sounds from a distance.

From my quick glance, the Queen seemed young. Young Queen doesn’t guarantee a marriage with a young King, but my curiosity on what the King might look like, how old he might be arose only for me to realize that it probably won’t be worth the risk. I barely used my peripheral vision to catch that everyone was still in a bowing down position on their knees and soon enough the footsteps that was once far appeared close. I am not sure how many guards were around the King, but as he got closer, more footstep noises overlapped and the sounds kept getting closer and closer.

Two pairs of feet, side by side, passed by. The pairs of shoes were fancy but one was overwhelmingly colorful in color and decoration compared to the other. It seemed like a collection pair rather than a pair used to walk in. In similar pace, both pairs of feet passed and following them were pairs of shoes from people who weren’t too different from us, maids. Only after what appeared to be the King passed by did the other maids raise their bodies and I followed to see the back of the King.

He looks tall. Next to him was a blonde hair who was about up to the King’s shoulder. That pair of feet next to him must have been that blonde hair’s.

“Oh lord.”

The maid next to me murmured. The King and his servants walked into the Queen’s room and as if they were released from a silence, the maid and another maid with blue eyes started whispering.

“How could he bring the blonde here?”

“I think he is out of his mind.”

“To see that right after she gives birth to the prince. I feel bad for the Queen.”

I took a moment to let out a deep sigh and looked up at the ceiling. I then turned and asked silently.

“What? What is it?”

With glazing eyes, they looked at me and they opened their mouth as if they were going to scream only to whisper back.

“Ahsee, are you crazy?”

Right. I have asked something that is of common sense here. Calm down. I can do it. There is nothing in the world that cannot be covered.

“I didn’t see it. Why? Is there a problem?”

“You didn’t see it?”

“I didn’t. Who did the King bring?”

The blue-eyed maid spoke.

“Jurgel. Who else but that wicked person?”

Before all the noises could subside, the door that wasn’t properly closed before burst open and a young man confidently walked out. Judging from the hype of everyone else, he seemed like the King, and everyone quickly went back onto their knees. This time around was different because everyone was on their knees still, but instead of bowing full down like before, they all just slightly put their heads down. Maybe a farewell is different than a greeting. Because of that, I was able to quickly glance at the King’s face.

At the speed he came back out, I wondered if he even hugged the newborn baby, and he appeared as young as the Queen. He’s a good looking man with long black hair that comes down to his waist… but I was more concerned about the guy that was dragged by his wrist next to him. In many ways, if that person debuted as an idol in Korea, he would have lived well, as his blonde hair and his outfit were beyond anything I’ve seen before. Well, since there exists a King and maids and a country then is he a newly appointed pontiff? Or like a dragon that pledged to defend the country?

Right then, the person walking in an unstable posture, who couldn’t match the King’s stride,

“Evans.”

The King called.

If a person’s hearing is amplified a 100 greater, I believe we would’ve heard the sound of anger turn on. The maid I’ve been holding conversations with seemed to have a kind expression, but everyone’s face expression including that maid’s turned stone cold.

Then the King released Jurgel’s wrist and put his arms around his shoulder to whisper, “I’m sorry.” Thanks to their pause, the rest of the servants who came out of the Queen’s room were able to step back in behind the King. The King that busted out of the Queen’s room returned back in step as he was before he went into that room. A few moments later, there were sobbing sounds coming from the room.

“Poor Queen.”

“Mina.”

Nearby, there seemed to be the maid in charge and the blue eyed maid warned to the maid next to me to be careful. But even if that maid didn’t give a warning, it didn’t seem like the maid in charge was going to take any action. I’m not sure what happened in that room, but I could definitely tell that they were sad sobs.

Dead silent, all the maids passed by the Queen’s room quietly and the maid in charge closed the door for the Queen.

The Queen had cleaned up after her messy look and appeared to be holding the prince in swaddling clothes in her arms. She still had no facial expression, not even one who would be happy because of the birth or even tired from it; she just had a face expression of a doll.

“Ouch!”

“What?”

“Never mind. Just an electric shock.”

What should I do.

I think I know what is going on.

One side of the Queen’s palace was preserved as the residence for the maids and it was two person rooms, and it seemed that my roommate was Mina, and if this was a buffer it felt like one. Why should I call this a buffer. Maybe she is more humble than what others think of her. Or maybe she could be more humble. I held onto my roommate’s hand and walked into the room carefully looking around and seeing what Mina does to put her clothes, find clothes to wear, and came to sit on the opposite bed of Mina’s.

“Ahsee, something seemed off today. Did something happen?”

“No, why? What feels strange?”

“You seem less talkative so I wondered if something bad happened.”

What would happen if I said I have lost my memories? I wanted to directly ask “Who am I and where am I?” However, no one here would call a doctor as if I was a precious lady who hurt her head from falling down the stairs, and no one will treat for my discomfort as if I am a precious pottery.

“I have never seen someone give birth before, so I was surprised.”

“Oh wow… you have never seen it before?”

“Yes. I have never seen anyone with a child other than when I was very young.”

“Everyone experiences it like this.”

“I know… I know everyone goes through it, but I am a little scared.”

“It’s okay Ahsee. This is how everyone is born.”

From the other side of the bed, Mina pulled down her hair from inside her hair cap, and then grabbed my hand. She is a good and kind person. I have to hide that I am not the ‘Ahsee’ character in this story. Could I get more information about Ahsee’s life? Could I lie to her roommate?

“I am going to go to bed early. I am scared I am going to see it in my dream again.”

“No, no. You are going to have a good dream. I am going to go talk to Sav real quick. Go to sleep.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“It’s just next door.”

“Sorry.”

It was early in the day and today was the day that the inheritor to the throne, the prince, was born. Mina, as well as the other maids, probably have a lot to talk about and won’t sleep for a while. I wanted to follow Mina into the other rooms and learn more about this place and gather information, but I also need my alone time.

Mina waited until after she untied my hair and tucked me in bed. She is a kind and friendly person. She said if I can’t fall asleep or if I feel better, I am more than welcomed to join them in the other room. Then she turned off my nightstand light, reduced hers to the dimmest setting, turned around to look at me and left.

That girl is Mina. My roommate. The blue eyed maid I held conversations with is Ellie. Sav is next door. I murmured their names multiple times in an attempt to not forget the them. While Mina is still in the other room, I should visit them. I just need a second on my own to cool down.

Jurgel and Evans. I know their names.

He is a young and strong King and the Kings unconditionally loves a young and beautiful man. They overcame all adversities, hardships, loved each other without any doubts, and were willing to give up their more precious, and brilliant things for each other but nothing in the world could be more precious than their love for one another. The man preferred a flower from the King than anything else in the world and the King preferred to drink water with that man than any other savory drinks in the world. It was true love, a beautiful love. They only loved each other.

There was a novel like that.

When I read, I thought the characters’ name was a simple symbol, and I didn’t catch it at first because I have read so many books, but I now remember one book with similar situation. I remember the title as “Escape,” but the story and the title had no relation to each other. People who read it would be moved by the King and the man’s flawless love story, like a common novel. If there were one thing that was hindering their love, it would have been the Queen.

Of course the King had a fiancé when he was young and needed a heir to continue his throne, and the man that he loved couldn’t provide that. The King was able to give everything except the seat as the ‘Queen’ to the man of his love, and the man could give all his love to the King except a child. In a story like this, the fate and destiny of the female character is fixed.

Their love is so exclusive and special that there was no place for the Queen to fit in. Then what would be her role? It isn’t even to stand there as a piece of furniture in someone’s garden, let alone the dust on the ground or something of that sort?

Despite the fact that she was the Queen, she came into the palace without a wedding for the sole reason that she was selected. When his lover said the palace, the Queen was staying at was beautiful, the King, without a doubt, kicked the Queen out and gave the palace to his lover. And when his lover expressed his jealously of the Queen being introduced to the public, the King once again stepped in and announced that the Queen is banned from any public activity. After being kicked out of the palace, the Queen has been living quickly, but unfortunately, she ran into the King and his lover while they were out on a walk, and that resulted to her quarantine. In addition, she was treated poorly and when she gave birth to the prince, the King’s lover took her baby as well.

I actually read the novel in anticipation of when the Queen would **** over the King’s lover. As I got closer to the end of the novel, I was so curious about how she was going to take revenge that the King and his lover’s story didn’t even cross my mind. Unfortunately, until the day she died of her illness, the Queen remained a wise and kindhearted woman. Nothing in my life is upfront, and in attempt to feel better I read this novel, but even in this novel it doesn’t happen… I know this is a love story between the King and his lover, but I hoped that the Queen would attempt to take revenge of some sort even if it was useless.

Okay. So this is probably a book scene. When I desired to be in a different world all through my youth, it didn’t come. Now I am in a book, as a side character, and I have a quest to complete. So what am I supposed to do?

I am no the author of this book. Am I just suppose to survive through the prince being taken away from his mom and her dying because of an illness? When I lifted my head up from washing the mushrooms for ramen, I saw a lady that I have never seen before giving birth and this is now a self-mission to complete?

Ramen is best when the noodles are cooked right. When you put in mushrooms and sliced onions at boiling point, the broth deepens, the mushrooms softens and the onions crisp, making it delicious. In honesty, I also like it when my onions are fully cooked. Don’t stir the egg. The eggs in rice cake soup is good, but I don’t like it when the ramen broth is bitter. If you ever want to be fancy, add some Vienna sausage, dumplings, or sprinkle some cheese, and it will become more luxurious.

I already put some dumplings and some sliced onions in. Now all I had to do was wash the mushrooms and sprinkle some cheese… what happened to my ramen?

I stood up from my seat. If I fell asleep like this, I really hoped I wake up in front of that sink where I was about to wash my mushrooms, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen. So I don’t have much time.

The maid’s room is not big. The room was almost perfectly symmetrical, with a bed in the center, a small side table with a stand next to it, a mirror next to it, a console that could be used as a dressing table, and a closet next to it. The space closer to the door is Mina’s and next to it is ‘Ahsee’s.’

I remember seeing Mina touching the stand. The stand wasn’t electric, but reacted with the fingers’ temperature. I turned the dim light brighter and got up from bed. I looked into the closet I briefly saw before and looked deeper at them.

On the hangers, there were only a maid’s outfit and a few simple dresses and on top of a shelf in the closet there were several shoes laying around. In the shelf, half of undergarments were folded neatly while the other half were just mixed in there. In another shelf, there were a mixture of hats, bags, and things of that sort. I dug my hand in deeply into the shelves, but there wasn’t anything special in them. It’s fine. I didn’t expect to find anything in here.

I closed the closet, this time I sat on my chair in front of the console and opened the side table drawer. When I went to a famous hotel in Japan, a Bible was in here. When I skimmed through ‘Escape,’ religion was not a big deal there. That’s why there was no Bible in here. Instead there were two palm-sized boxes.

They were music boxes.

When I lifted the heavy lid, a soft music popped up with female and male figures reaching out for each other, rotating slowly.

It’s unique. Usually, aren’t the male and female figures hugging one another? Or a ballerina? As if they were walking round and round, their legs appeared to be moving like they were walking, their bodies were faced forward, their heads were faced each other, their hands reached out towards one another, but still untouched. I put my fingers between the two outstretched hands and tried to connect the two hands. The actual distance is pretty minimal, but if this was to represent real life, would this be a far distance?

As soon as I closed the lid, the soft music stopped. The other box was also a music box. It was a scene of people having a picnic under the clock tower, and when I turned the clock’s hand back, the people figures walked, danced, and drank some tea.

A music box collection. What a cute hobby. I collect them too. I don’t have a ton because they are so expensive, but I have started collecting seasonal ones. The two music boxes are much more complex and sophisticated than the ones I have in Korea, and they seemed quite classy to my inexperienced eyes. Items that require high maintained could cost quite a bit of money. The prices here and Korea may not be the same, but given that, this would definitely not be a cheap price. Could Ahsee afford these? She barely had inexpensive clothes or shoes.

Before I put the music boxes in, I carefully checked the top and bottom of the drawer, but there was nothing unusual. In hopes that it might be a double drawer, I knocked up and down and left and right of the drawer, but nothing suspicious. I was disappointed.

There was special at the table. I quickly turned around and sat in front of the console. Since it has a mirror, it looks like it can be used as a makeup stand, but looking at the drawers and shape below, it could also be a desk. The top row was a shallow drawer with three compartments, and underneath it there was enough space to hold a chair, with three drawers on each side, and the overall design was based on wavy lines.

In front of the mirror, a writing utensil similar to a fountain pen was there, and next to it were bottles that seemed like they were used for cosmetics. I grabbed some of them and shook them and opened the lid, but I couldn’t figure out what was moisturizer and what was cream. The red cosmetics in the small jar seemed some type of lipstick, but they were not stick-shaped or brushed, so I couldn’t figure out how one would use it. What I really wanted was to fall asleep now and wake up in my own house, but to say that did not work out, then I would have to wake up tomorrow and apply this but I have no idea how to use this thing. And frankly speaking, I think I am going to wake up as a maid and not in my room in my house.

I put down the makeup and first opened up the top middle drawer. There were a few earrings and necklaces. It was similar to what I would wear, and this might be a rapid decision since I haven’t gone through all the drawers, but it seemed like ‘Ahsee’ was someone who didn’t really care too much about organization. No matter how I look at it, I feel like she just threw them in the drawer. I like it. I do that too. I won’t be caught by my roommate because she things my lifestyle has changed.

The left drawer, which is about one palm long, was filled with large and small blank papers, and the right drawer consisted of several unidentified miscellaneous items, a few coins, and a wallet. The rest of the drawers had powders that looked like herbs, medicines for emergency use, and a bunch of snacks. Nothing noticeable.

I wasn’t really looking for something specific, but I wanted a diary or something like a diary to come out, for example. I was disappointed. There’s nothing I can use to learn more about this world or ‘Ahsee.’ I even hoped that at the point when I realized I was in a book, there would magically be a pop up of a quest or something to tell me how to get back home, but there wasn’t anything.

I was making ramen. So I did not reincarnate from death or was summoned. I did not even see a conflicted devil or grim reaper, so this is not even due to be an error or a devil’s joy. ‘Ahsee’ didn’t even call me to live her life for her. So where could she have gone? If she didn’t die due to the shock of the Queen giving birth, then did we exchange bodies? But ‘Ahsee’ is a book character, not a human, so basically ink. Could she have replaced my soul and finish washing my mushrooms and finish making my ramen?

I lifted my head and finally looked at the mirror I have been avoided.

I saw my reflection in a unfamiliar outfit. There was nothing unfamiliar about my face. This is the same face that I saw this morning while I was washing my face. The same birth mark next to my eye and the same pimple on my chin. But my hair is now down to my waist. Am I here because I have the same face? I don’t know why it is ‘Escape.’ When I was reading the novel, I yelled, like I felt watching Couple Clinic: Love and War, ‘Queen, at least tug on the King’s lover’s hair and bite him,’ but I never truly considered how the Queen felt and I didn’t feel the urge to need to take revenge for her, so I don’t understand why I am in this book, ‘Escape.’ I was so much more invested in the next books of the series, so why this one?

This reminds me of my college days. It was a majors exam, and the questions were parts I’ve overlooked so leaving the page in front of me blank, staring at a blank space for around 30 minutes, I turned my blank paper around and gave myself my own question and filled out my own answer. My miserable sophomore second semester midterm. I got partial credit on that, but this has no solution.

Is the Queen even the answer? If this follows the original story, would I just let her die due to her illness or am I suppose to alter the story to help the gay King break up with his lover and help him develop feelings for the Queen. Should I write down 1 and 2 on a piece of paper and drop a pencil to determine the faith? I know that there are no answers to life, but I at least want to know the answer to this.

I leaned against the chair and stared at my/Ahsee’s face until my face in the error felt like a stranger.

I cannot do this for long. I stood up and took the shawl from the chair, put it on my back, and came out of the room. Mina said she would be next door in Sav’s. Our room is at the end of the hallway, so I didn’t have to worry about where the next door room is. My roommate is Mina, the blue eyed maid who was talking to Mina earlier was Ellie, and my next door neighbor is Sav.

I knocked next door and opened the door before I could hear a response.

“Hi Sav? Could I join you guys?”

It was still too early to go to bed. I saw a few people on the bed in their pajamas. Four… Five people. Who is going to answer?

Epilogue—–

Ramen is so good when you add mushrooms.

I was cooking my ramen.

Isn’t this too cruel.

“Queen, my lady! You must stay alert!”

“Please give me one more push! Queen!”

“My lady! The baby cannot breathe! Please!”

In front of my eyes was a woman I have never seen before, lying on a large bed, holding onto the bars set at the end of the bed with all her strength. Her bloody legs were wide open, and multiple people surrounded the scene. Yes, this appears to be a birth scene. Someone blurted that they see a head. This had to be someone giving birth. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve slept through all the videos they played during sex education classes, and to think that I am seeing someone give birth in live action.

I wish someone from anywhere would come with a radar to announce that this isn’t for public viewing, block the scene, and tell me to get out, or even a dream. I really hope this isn’t the situation that I am thinking of. If I think rationally, I think this is what I am thinking, wait is it? Is this a rational thought? Does this make sense?

“Ahsee! What are you doing? At least go get the hot water!!”

I didn’t even have time to panic. Is “Ahsee” me? Then a maid holding a bloody cloth bumped into me, and dumbfounded, I found myself carrying a big basin of hot water amongst the maids.

Unfortunately, my hands and my feet both moved without my will and everything appeared extremely vivid. I could even hear the Queen’s mourns, despite her never screaming her pain aloud. I’m not sure how much pain she held, but it seemed pretty severe as everyone surrounding the Queen were earnestly watching and the Queen’s face was covered in blood sweat with her cheeks even redder due to her popped veins.

Just like that, I don’t recall how many times I carried water back and forth. When I turned around with an empty basin, I heard people cheer behind me. After a few splashing sounds, the cry of a baby burst aloud.

“It’s a prince, My Lady.”

“Congratulations!”

“Congratulations!”

Everyone who held with the birth from midwives, nannies, and women who seemed to be in higher officials, congratulated the Queen with great excitement. One of them cut the umbilical cord, wrapped the newborn baby in a towel, and handed the baby to the Queen who had been using all her strength until now.

I was finally able to see the face of the Queen, who held in her scream. Her face was hot and swollen from right after giving birth, but I could tell that she was a young woman. With a face unlike a mother who just gave birth, she accepted the baby wrapped in towel. I don’t know much about giving birth, but the face of the Queen was too peaceful for someone who just suffered through great pain to give birth. Maybe she’s exhausted?

“The King…”

“Yes, Queen. I sent a message to your Majesty, so he should be here soon.”

“Please rest until he comes, Queen. You could faint due to the amount of blood you lost.”

The conversation continued, and someone who seemed to be in charge gathered the maids into the room next door. She said they all had to stay there until the King saw his newborn prince. All the women, exhausted, sat down and I attempted to find a mirror around, but couldn’t so I grabbed one of the maids and asked.

“Is there no mirror here?”

“Mirror? Why?”

“I think my face is a mess.”

“Yeah. You should take care of your hair. There should be a big mirror in that room.”

After thanking her, I went into the room that I couldn’t see from the corner that I was at before. It seemed as if the place that we were all gathered in is a waiting area but it felt like a bathroom, and in there was a mirror.

I was there.

Despite wearing the rustic dress like all other maids outside the room, it was me. It was me, unchanged. If I opened that door and left, even if it wasn’t my room, it would feel just as me in Seoul or Incheon. No wonder everything felt vivid that my hands and feet felt like mine. Should I be glad? Isn’t my life being too harsh on me?

Yes, this is a fantasy world. Anyways, this is not Seoul, South Korea. The event that occurred in front of my eyes with a woman I have never seen before giving birth, and everyone yelling “Queen,” in dresses like the ones I’ve seen in cartoons– this cannot be a movie set and if it doesn’t feel like a dream– it must be a fantasy world. It’s okay, I am calm. No, I want to escape reality!! This cannot be real!!

When I was in middle and high school, I read fantasy novels wishing I could go into this world. Some places seemed rough, but I just wanted to leave. I wanted to go into a different place and hear from someone that I was needed in that world. While I was taking the SAT, I desperately wished there was a hole in a dark ally or something that would take me to another world, but there wasn’t any handsome man or an owl with an envelope looking for me and saying they were here to escort me away. I’ve spent my 20s and my college years accepting that there were no such things, so why now??

“And I don’t even look different!!!!”

This is too cruel.

I should calm down. If I am able to calm down here, I might not feel like an actual person, but I have to calm down to live. I want to avoid the reality, but if I really don’t want to reach my goal then I must stay alert.

Admit it. I am in a fantasy world. The world I have been dreaming to be in since middle and high school.

As an average ordinary person.

My version of the entry into such a world was an appearance in a temple pond of a country where black hair is favored, an appearance after receiving the trust of the goddess, or an appearance on the wings of a phoenix; but no, I am here as an average person, a maid perhaps it seems like. I at least hoped there would be an appearance transformation, but not even. As a last attempt, I searched all over my body, but I found no significant marks, not even one. Admit it. I am an average ordinary person. My hope to flirt around with good looking men in this world and to eventually build a passionate romantic relationship with a prince that ultimately leads to marriage was crushed; I am just me—an average ordinary person.

“Ahsee. Prepare. The King is on the way.”

The door creaked open and the maid who showed me this room hold my frustrated self that I have to go into the hallway and wait. My life doesn’t even give me the time to remorse.

All the maids quickly left the room to line up in a bowed position at the end of the hallway. In this world, you cannot just look at high officials’ faces. The maid who brought me out was already in a bowed position, and I followed her lead to adjust my body. Then I realized that I don’t even know the name of the maid that I was portrayed as. I figured “Ahsee” might be my name, but other than that I knew of nothing else. Shouldn’t I at least have the memory of who I am so I can continue whatever it is that I have to do? I don’t even know what I should do as this maid.

The hallway, full of around 20 people all bowed down was quiet like a mouse, and the room the Queen gave birth appeared silent in the pitch-black darkness. As I counted to about 15 in my mind, I heard patterned footsteps sounds from a distance.

From my quick glance, the Queen seemed young. Young Queen doesn’t guarantee a marriage with a young King, but my curiosity on what the King might look like, how old he might be arose only for me to realize that it probably won’t be worth the risk. I barely used my peripheral vision to catch that everyone was still in a bowing down position on their knees and soon enough the footsteps that was once far appeared close. I am not sure how many guards were around the King, but as he got closer, more footstep noises overlapped and the sounds kept getting closer and closer.

Two pairs of feet, side by side, passed by. The pairs of shoes were fancy but one was overwhelmingly colorful in color and decoration compared to the other. It seemed like a collection pair rather than a pair used to walk in. In similar pace, both pairs of feet passed and following them were pairs of shoes from people who weren’t too different from us, maids. Only after what appeared to be the King passed by did the other maids raise their bodies and I followed to see the back of the King.

He looks tall. Next to him was a blonde hair who was about up to the King’s shoulder. That pair of feet next to him must have been that blonde hair’s.

“Oh lord.”

The maid next to me murmured. The King and his servants walked into the Queen’s room and as if they were released from a silence, the maid and another maid with blue eyes started whispering.

“How could he bring the blonde here?”

“I think he is out of his mind.”

“To see that right after she gives birth to the prince. I feel bad for the Queen.”

I took a moment to let out a deep sigh and looked up at the ceiling. I then turned and asked silently.

“What? What is it?”

With glazing eyes, they looked at me and they opened their mouth as if they were going to scream only to whisper back.

“Ahsee, are you crazy?”

Right. I have asked something that is of common sense here. Calm down. I can do it. There is nothing in the world that cannot be covered.

“I didn’t see it. Why? Is there a problem?”

“You didn’t see it?”

“I didn’t. Who did the King bring?”

The blue-eyed maid spoke.

“Jurgel. Who else but that wicked person?”

Before all the noises could subside, the door that wasn’t properly closed before burst open and a young man confidently walked out. Judging from the hype of everyone else, he seemed like the King, and everyone quickly went back onto their knees. This time around was different because everyone was on their knees still, but instead of bowing full down like before, they all just slightly put their heads down. Maybe a farewell is different than a greeting. Because of that, I was able to quickly glance at the King’s face.

At the speed he came back out, I wondered if he even hugged the newborn baby, and he appeared as young as the Queen. He’s a good looking man with long black hair that comes down to his waist… but I was more concerned about the guy that was dragged by his wrist next to him. In many ways, if that person debuted as an idol in Korea, he would have lived well, as his blonde hair and his outfit were beyond anything I’ve seen before. Well, since there exists a King and maids and a country then is he a newly appointed pontiff? Or like a dragon that pledged to defend the country?

Right then, the person walking in an unstable posture, who couldn’t match the King’s stride,

“Evans.”

The King called.

If a person’s hearing is amplified a 100 greater, I believe we would’ve heard the sound of anger turn on. The maid I’ve been holding conversations with seemed to have a kind expression, but everyone’s face expression including that maid’s turned stone cold.

Then the King released Jurgel’s wrist and put his arms around his shoulder to whisper, “I’m sorry.” Thanks to their pause, the rest of the servants who came out of the Queen’s room were able to step back in behind the King. The King that busted out of the Queen’s room returned back in step as he was before he went into that room. A few moments later, there were sobbing sounds coming from the room.

“Poor Queen.”

“Mina.”

Nearby, there seemed to be the maid in charge and the blue eyed maid warned to the maid next to me to be careful. But even if that maid didn’t give a warning, it didn’t seem like the maid in charge was going to take any action. I’m not sure what happened in that room, but I could definitely tell that they were sad sobs.

Dead silent, all the maids passed by the Queen’s room quietly and the maid in charge closed the door for the Queen.

The Queen had cleaned up after her messy look and appeared to be holding the prince in swaddling clothes in her arms. She still had no facial expression, not even one who would be happy because of the birth or even tired from it; she just had a face expression of a doll.

“Ouch!”

“What?”

“Never mind. Just an electric shock.”

What should I do.

I think I know what is going on.

One side of the Queen’s palace was preserved as the residence for the maids and it was two person rooms, and it seemed that my roommate was Mina, and if this was a buffer it felt like one. Why should I call this a buffer. Maybe she is more humble than what others think of her. Or maybe she could be more humble. I held onto my roommate’s hand and walked into the room carefully looking around and seeing what Mina does to put her clothes, find clothes to wear, and came to sit on the opposite bed of Mina’s.

“Ahsee, something seemed off today. Did something happen?”

“No, why? What feels strange?”

“You seem less talkative so I wondered if something bad happened.”

What would happen if I said I have lost my memories? I wanted to directly ask “Who am I and where am I?” However, no one here would call a doctor as if I was a precious lady who hurt her head from falling down the stairs, and no one will treat for my discomfort as if I am a precious pottery.

“I have never seen someone give birth before, so I was surprised.”

“Oh wow… you have never seen it before?”

“Yes. I have never seen anyone with a child other than when I was very young.”

“Everyone experiences it like this.”

“I know… I know everyone goes through it, but I am a little scared.”

“It’s okay Ahsee. This is how everyone is born.”

From the other side of the bed, Mina pulled down her hair from inside her hair cap, and then grabbed my hand. She is a good and kind person. I have to hide that I am not the ‘Ahsee’ character in this story. Could I get more information about Ahsee’s life? Could I lie to her roommate?

“I am going to go to bed early. I am scared I am going to see it in my dream again.”

“No, no. You are going to have a good dream. I am going to go talk to Sav real quick. Go to sleep.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“It’s just next door.”

“Sorry.”

It was early in the day and today was the day that the inheritor to the throne, the prince, was born. Mina, as well as the other maids, probably have a lot to talk about and won’t sleep for a while. I wanted to follow Mina into the other rooms and learn more about this place and gather information, but I also need my alone time.

Mina waited until after she untied my hair and tucked me in bed. She is a kind and friendly person. She said if I can’t fall asleep or if I feel better, I am more than welcomed to join them in the other room. Then she turned off my nightstand light, reduced hers to the dimmest setting, turned around to look at me and left.

That girl is Mina. My roommate. The blue eyed maid I held conversations with is Ellie. Sav is next door. I murmured their names multiple times in an attempt to not forget the them. While Mina is still in the other room, I should visit them. I just need a second on my own to cool down.

Jurgel and Evans. I know their names.

He is a young and strong King and the Kings unconditionally loves a young and beautiful man. They overcame all adversities, hardships, loved each other without any doubts, and were willing to give up their more precious, and brilliant things for each other but nothing in the world could be more precious than their love for one another. The man preferred a flower from the King than anything else in the world and the King preferred to drink water with that man than any other savory drinks in the world. It was true love, a beautiful love. They only loved each other.

There was a novel like that.

When I read, I thought the characters’ name was a simple symbol, and I didn’t catch it at first because I have read so many books, but I now remember one book with similar situation. I remember the title as “Escape,” but the story and the title had no relation to each other. People who read it would be moved by the King and the man’s flawless love story, like a common novel. If there were one thing that was hindering their love, it would have been the Queen.

Of course the King had a fiancé when he was young and needed a heir to continue his throne, and the man that he loved couldn’t provide that. The King was able to give everything except the seat as the ‘Queen’ to the man of his love, and the man could give all his love to the King except a child. In a story like this, the fate and destiny of the female character is fixed.

Their love is so exclusive and special that there was no place for the Queen to fit in. Then what would be her role? It isn’t even to stand there as a piece of furniture in someone’s garden, let alone the dust on the ground or something of that sort?

Despite the fact that she was the Queen, she came into the palace without a wedding for the sole reason that she was selected. When his lover said the palace, the Queen was staying at was beautiful, the King, without a doubt, kicked the Queen out and gave the palace to his lover. And when his lover expressed his jealously of the Queen being introduced to the public, the King once again stepped in and announced that the Queen is banned from any public activity. After being kicked out of the palace, the Queen has been living quickly, but unfortunately, she ran into the King and his lover while they were out on a walk, and that resulted to her quarantine. In addition, she was treated poorly and when she gave birth to the prince, the King’s lover took her baby as well.

I actually read the novel in anticipation of when the Queen would **** over the King’s lover. As I got closer to the end of the novel, I was so curious about how she was going to take revenge that the King and his lover’s story didn’t even cross my mind. Unfortunately, until the day she died of her illness, the Queen remained a wise and kindhearted woman. Nothing in my life is upfront, and in attempt to feel better I read this novel, but even in this novel it doesn’t happen… I know this is a love story between the King and his lover, but I hoped that the Queen would attempt to take revenge of some sort even if it was useless.

Okay. So this is probably a book scene. When I desired to be in a different world all through my youth, it didn’t come. Now I am in a book, as a side character, and I have a quest to complete. So what am I supposed to do?

I am no the author of this book. Am I just suppose to survive through the prince being taken away from his mom and her dying because of an illness? When I lifted my head up from washing the mushrooms for ramen, I saw a lady that I have never seen before giving birth and this is now a self-mission to complete?

Ramen is best when the noodles are cooked right. When you put in mushrooms and sliced onions at boiling point, the broth deepens, the mushrooms softens and the onions crisp, making it delicious. In honesty, I also like it when my onions are fully cooked. Don’t stir the egg. The eggs in rice cake soup is good, but I don’t like it when the ramen broth is bitter. If you ever want to be fancy, add some Vienna sausage, dumplings, or sprinkle some cheese, and it will become more luxurious.

I already put some dumplings and some sliced onions in. Now all I had to do was wash the mushrooms and sprinkle some cheese… what happened to my ramen?

I stood up from my seat. If I fell asleep like this, I really hoped I wake up in front of that sink where I was about to wash my mushrooms, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen. So I don’t have much time.

The maid’s room is not big. The room was almost perfectly symmetrical, with a bed in the center, a small side table with a stand next to it, a mirror next to it, a console that could be used as a dressing table, and a closet next to it. The space closer to the door is Mina’s and next to it is ‘Ahsee’s.’

I remember seeing Mina touching the stand. The stand wasn’t electric, but reacted with the fingers’ temperature. I turned the dim light brighter and got up from bed. I looked into the closet I briefly saw before and looked deeper at them.

On the hangers, there were only a maid’s outfit and a few simple dresses and on top of a shelf in the closet there were several shoes laying around. In the shelf, half of undergarments were folded neatly while the other half were just mixed in there. In another shelf, there were a mixture of hats, bags, and things of that sort. I dug my hand in deeply into the shelves, but there wasn’t anything special in them. It’s fine. I didn’t expect to find anything in here.

I closed the closet, this time I sat on my chair in front of the console and opened the side table drawer. When I went to a famous hotel in Japan, a Bible was in here. When I skimmed through ‘Escape,’ religion was not a big deal there. That’s why there was no Bible in here. Instead there were two palm-sized boxes.

They were music boxes.

When I lifted the heavy lid, a soft music popped up with female and male figures reaching out for each other, rotating slowly.

It’s unique. Usually, aren’t the male and female figures hugging one another? Or a ballerina? As if they were walking round and round, their legs appeared to be moving like they were walking, their bodies were faced forward, their heads were faced each other, their hands reached out towards one another, but still untouched. I put my fingers between the two outstretched hands and tried to connect the two hands. The actual distance is pretty minimal, but if this was to represent real life, would this be a far distance?

As soon as I closed the lid, the soft music stopped. The other box was also a music box. It was a scene of people having a picnic under the clock tower, and when I turned the clock’s hand back, the people figures walked, danced, and drank some tea.

A music box collection. What a cute hobby. I collect them too. I don’t have a ton because they are so expensive, but I have started collecting seasonal ones. The two music boxes are much more complex and sophisticated than the ones I have in Korea, and they seemed quite classy to my inexperienced eyes. Items that require high maintained could cost quite a bit of money. The prices here and Korea may not be the same, but given that, this would definitely not be a cheap price. Could Ahsee afford these? She barely had inexpensive clothes or shoes.

Before I put the music boxes in, I carefully checked the top and bottom of the drawer, but there was nothing unusual. In hopes that it might be a double drawer, I knocked up and down and left and right of the drawer, but nothing suspicious. I was disappointed.

There was special at the table. I quickly turned around and sat in front of the console. Since it has a mirror, it looks like it can be used as a makeup stand, but looking at the drawers and shape below, it could also be a desk. The top row was a shallow drawer with three compartments, and underneath it there was enough space to hold a chair, with three drawers on each side, and the overall design was based on wavy lines.

In front of the mirror, a writing utensil similar to a fountain pen was there, and next to it were bottles that seemed like they were used for cosmetics. I grabbed some of them and shook them and opened the lid, but I couldn’t figure out what was moisturizer and what was cream. The red cosmetics in the small jar seemed some type of lipstick, but they were not stick-shaped or brushed, so I couldn’t figure out how one would use it. What I really wanted was to fall asleep now and wake up in my own house, but to say that did not work out, then I would have to wake up tomorrow and apply this but I have no idea how to use this thing. And frankly speaking, I think I am going to wake up as a maid and not in my room in my house.

I put down the makeup and first opened up the top middle drawer. There were a few earrings and necklaces. It was similar to what I would wear, and this might be a rapid decision since I haven’t gone through all the drawers, but it seemed like ‘Ahsee’ was someone who didn’t really care too much about organization. No matter how I look at it, I feel like she just threw them in the drawer. I like it. I do that too. I won’t be caught by my roommate because she things my lifestyle has changed.

The left drawer, which is about one palm long, was filled with large and small blank papers, and the right drawer consisted of several unidentified miscellaneous items, a few coins, and a wallet. The rest of the drawers had powders that looked like herbs, medicines for emergency use, and a bunch of snacks. Nothing noticeable.

I wasn’t really looking for something specific, but I wanted a diary or something like a diary to come out, for example. I was disappointed. There’s nothing I can use to learn more about this world or ‘Ahsee.’ I even hoped that at the point when I realized I was in a book, there would magically be a pop up of a quest or something to tell me how to get back home, but there wasn’t anything.

I was making ramen. So I did not reincarnate from death or was summoned. I did not even see a conflicted devil or grim reaper, so this is not even due to be an error or a devil’s joy. ‘Ahsee’ didn’t even call me to live her life for her. So where could she have gone? If she didn’t die due to the shock of the Queen giving birth, then did we exchange bodies? But ‘Ahsee’ is a book character, not a human, so basically ink. Could she have replaced my soul and finish washing my mushrooms and finish making my ramen?

I lifted my head and finally looked at the mirror I have been avoided.

I saw my reflection in a unfamiliar outfit. There was nothing unfamiliar about my face. This is the same face that I saw this morning while I was washing my face. The same birth mark next to my eye and the same pimple on my chin. But my hair is now down to my waist. Am I here because I have the same face? I don’t know why it is ‘Escape.’ When I was reading the novel, I yelled, like I felt watching Couple Clinic: Love and War, ‘Queen, at least tug on the King’s lover’s hair and bite him,’ but I never truly considered how the Queen felt and I didn’t feel the urge to need to take revenge for her, so I don’t understand why I am in this book, ‘Escape.’ I was so much more invested in the next books of the series, so why this one?

This reminds me of my college days. It was a majors exam, and the questions were parts I’ve overlooked so leaving the page in front of me blank, staring at a blank space for around 30 minutes, I turned my blank paper around and gave myself my own question and filled out my own answer. My miserable sophomore second semester midterm. I got partial credit on that, but this has no solution.

Is the Queen even the answer? If this follows the original story, would I just let her die due to her illness or am I suppose to alter the story to help the gay King break up with his lover and help him develop feelings for the Queen. Should I write down 1 and 2 on a piece of paper and drop a pencil to determine the faith? I know that there are no answers to life, but I at least want to know the answer to this.

I leaned against the chair and stared at my/Ahsee’s face until my face in the error felt like a stranger.

I cannot do this for long. I stood up and took the shawl from the chair, put it on my back, and came out of the room. Mina said she would be next door in Sav’s. Our room is at the end of the hallway, so I didn’t have to worry about where the next door room is. My roommate is Mina, the blue eyed maid who was talking to Mina earlier was Ellie, and my next door neighbor is Sav.

I knocked next door and opened the door before I could hear a response.

“Hi Sav? Could I join you guys?”

It was still too early to go to bed. I saw a few people on the bed in their pajamas. Four… Five people. Who is going to answer?

Epilogue—–

Ramen is so good when you add mushrooms.

I was cooking my ramen.

Isn’t this too cruel.

“Queen, my lady! You must stay alert!”

“Please give me one more push! Queen!”

“My lady! The baby cannot breathe! Please!”

In front of my eyes was a woman I have never seen before, lying on a large bed, holding onto the bars set at the end of the bed with all her strength. Her bloody legs were wide open, and multiple people surrounded the scene. Yes, this appears to be a birth scene. Someone blurted that they see a head. This had to be someone giving birth. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve slept through all the videos they played during sex education classes, and to think that I am seeing someone give birth in live action.

I wish someone from anywhere would come with a radar to announce that this isn’t for public viewing, block the scene, and tell me to get out, or even a dream. I really hope this isn’t the situation that I am thinking of. If I think rationally, I think this is what I am thinking, wait is it? Is this a rational thought? Does this make sense?

“Ahsee! What are you doing? At least go get the hot water!!”

I didn’t even have time to panic. Is “Ahsee” me? Then a maid holding a bloody cloth bumped into me, and dumbfounded, I found myself carrying a big basin of hot water amongst the maids.

Unfortunately, my hands and my feet both moved without my will and everything appeared extremely vivid. I could even hear the Queen’s mourns, despite her never screaming her pain aloud. I’m not sure how much pain she held, but it seemed pretty severe as everyone surrounding the Queen were earnestly watching and the Queen’s face was covered in blood sweat with her cheeks even redder due to her popped veins.

Just like that, I don’t recall how many times I carried water back and forth. When I turned around with an empty basin, I heard people cheer behind me. After a few splashing sounds, the cry of a baby burst aloud.

“It’s a prince, My Lady.”

“Congratulations!”

“Congratulations!”

Everyone who held with the birth from midwives, nannies, and women who seemed to be in higher officials, congratulated the Queen with great excitement. One of them cut the umbilical cord, wrapped the newborn baby in a towel, and handed the baby to the Queen who had been using all her strength until now.

I was finally able to see the face of the Queen, who held in her scream. Her face was hot and swollen from right after giving birth, but I could tell that she was a young woman. With a face unlike a mother who just gave birth, she accepted the baby wrapped in towel. I don’t know much about giving birth, but the face of the Queen was too peaceful for someone who just suffered through great pain to give birth. Maybe she’s exhausted?

“The King…”

“Yes, Queen. I sent a message to your Majesty, so he should be here soon.”

“Please rest until he comes, Queen. You could faint due to the amount of blood you lost.”

The conversation continued, and someone who seemed to be in charge gathered the maids into the room next door. She said they all had to stay there until the King saw his newborn prince. All the women, exhausted, sat down and I attempted to find a mirror around, but couldn’t so I grabbed one of the maids and asked.

“Is there no mirror here?”

“Mirror? Why?”

“I think my face is a mess.”

“Yeah. You should take care of your hair. There should be a big mirror in that room.”

After thanking her, I went into the room that I couldn’t see from the corner that I was at before. It seemed as if the place that we were all gathered in is a waiting area but it felt like a bathroom, and in there was a mirror.

I was there.

Despite wearing the rustic dress like all other maids outside the room, it was me. It was me, unchanged. If I opened that door and left, even if it wasn’t my room, it would feel just as me in Seoul or Incheon. No wonder everything felt vivid that my hands and feet felt like mine. Should I be glad? Isn’t my life being too harsh on me?

Yes, this is a fantasy world. Anyways, this is not Seoul, South Korea. The event that occurred in front of my eyes with a woman I have never seen before giving birth, and everyone yelling “Queen,” in dresses like the ones I’ve seen in cartoons– this cannot be a movie set and if it doesn’t feel like a dream– it must be a fantasy world. It’s okay, I am calm. No, I want to escape reality!! This cannot be real!!

When I was in middle and high school, I read fantasy novels wishing I could go into this world. Some places seemed rough, but I just wanted to leave. I wanted to go into a different place and hear from someone that I was needed in that world. While I was taking the SAT, I desperately wished there was a hole in a dark ally or something that would take me to another world, but there wasn’t any handsome man or an owl with an envelope looking for me and saying they were here to escort me away. I’ve spent my 20s and my college years accepting that there were no such things, so why now??

“And I don’t even look different!!!!”

This is too cruel.

I should calm down. If I am able to calm down here, I might not feel like an actual person, but I have to calm down to live. I want to avoid the reality, but if I really don’t want to reach my goal then I must stay alert.

Admit it. I am in a fantasy world. The world I have been dreaming to be in since middle and high school.

As an average ordinary person.

My version of the entry into such a world was an appearance in a temple pond of a country where black hair is favored, an appearance after receiving the trust of the goddess, or an appearance on the wings of a phoenix; but no, I am here as an average person, a maid perhaps it seems like. I at least hoped there would be an appearance transformation, but not even. As a last attempt, I searched all over my body, but I found no significant marks, not even one. Admit it. I am an average ordinary person. My hope to flirt around with good looking men in this world and to eventually build a passionate romantic relationship with a prince that ultimately leads to marriage was crushed; I am just me—an average ordinary person.

“Ahsee. Prepare. The King is on the way.”

The door creaked open and the maid who showed me this room hold my frustrated self that I have to go into the hallway and wait. My life doesn’t even give me the time to remorse.

All the maids quickly left the room to line up in a bowed position at the end of the hallway. In this world, you cannot just look at high officials’ faces. The maid who brought me out was already in a bowed position, and I followed her lead to adjust my body. Then I realized that I don’t even know the name of the maid that I was portrayed as. I figured “Ahsee” might be my name, but other than that I knew of nothing else. Shouldn’t I at least have the memory of who I am so I can continue whatever it is that I have to do? I don’t even know what I should do as this maid.

The hallway, full of around 20 people all bowed down was quiet like a mouse, and the room the Queen gave birth appeared silent in the pitch-black darkness. As I counted to about 15 in my mind, I heard patterned footsteps sounds from a distance.

From my quick glance, the Queen seemed young. Young Queen doesn’t guarantee a marriage with a young King, but my curiosity on what the King might look like, how old he might be arose only for me to realize that it probably won’t be worth the risk. I barely used my peripheral vision to catch that everyone was still in a bowing down position on their knees and soon enough the footsteps that was once far appeared close. I am not sure how many guards were around the King, but as he got closer, more footstep noises overlapped and the sounds kept getting closer and closer.

Two pairs of feet, side by side, passed by. The pairs of shoes were fancy but one was overwhelmingly colorful in color and decoration compared to the other. It seemed like a collection pair rather than a pair used to walk in. In similar pace, both pairs of feet passed and following them were pairs of shoes from people who weren’t too different from us, maids. Only after what appeared to be the King passed by did the other maids raise their bodies and I followed to see the back of the King.

He looks tall. Next to him was a blonde hair who was about up to the King’s shoulder. That pair of feet next to him must have been that blonde hair’s.

“Oh lord.”

The maid next to me murmured. The King and his servants walked into the Queen’s room and as if they were released from a silence, the maid and another maid with blue eyes started whispering.

“How could he bring the blonde here?”

“I think he is out of his mind.”

“To see that right after she gives birth to the prince. I feel bad for the Queen.”

I took a moment to let out a deep sigh and looked up at the ceiling. I then turned and asked silently.

“What? What is it?”

With glazing eyes, they looked at me and they opened their mouth as if they were going to scream only to whisper back.

“Ahsee, are you crazy?”

Right. I have asked something that is of common sense here. Calm down. I can do it. There is nothing in the world that cannot be covered.

“I didn’t see it. Why? Is there a problem?”

“You didn’t see it?”

“I didn’t. Who did the King bring?”

The blue-eyed maid spoke.

“Jurgel. Who else but that wicked person?”

Before all the noises could subside, the door that wasn’t properly closed before burst open and a young man confidently walked out. Judging from the hype of everyone else, he seemed like the King, and everyone quickly went back onto their knees. This time around was different because everyone was on their knees still, but instead of bowing full down like before, they all just slightly put their heads down. Maybe a farewell is different than a greeting. Because of that, I was able to quickly glance at the King’s face.

At the speed he came back out, I wondered if he even hugged the newborn baby, and he appeared as young as the Queen. He’s a good looking man with long black hair that comes down to his waist… but I was more concerned about the guy that was dragged by his wrist next to him. In many ways, if that person debuted as an idol in Korea, he would have lived well, as his blonde hair and his outfit were beyond anything I’ve seen before. Well, since there exists a King and maids and a country then is he a newly appointed pontiff? Or like a dragon that pledged to defend the country?

Right then, the person walking in an unstable posture, who couldn’t match the King’s stride,

“Evans.”

The King called.

If a person’s hearing is amplified a 100 greater, I believe we would’ve heard the sound of anger turn on. The maid I’ve been holding conversations with seemed to have a kind expression, but everyone’s face expression including that maid’s turned stone cold.

Then the King released Jurgel’s wrist and put his arms around his shoulder to whisper, “I’m sorry.” Thanks to their pause, the rest of the servants who came out of the Queen’s room were able to step back in behind the King. The King that busted out of the Queen’s room returned back in step as he was before he went into that room. A few moments later, there were sobbing sounds coming from the room.

“Poor Queen.”

“Mina.”

Nearby, there seemed to be the maid in charge and the blue eyed maid warned to the maid next to me to be careful. But even if that maid didn’t give a warning, it didn’t seem like the maid in charge was going to take any action. I’m not sure what happened in that room, but I could definitely tell that they were sad sobs.

Dead silent, all the maids passed by the Queen’s room quietly and the maid in charge closed the door for the Queen.

The Queen had cleaned up after her messy look and appeared to be holding the prince in swaddling clothes in her arms. She still had no facial expression, not even one who would be happy because of the birth or even tired from it; she just had a face expression of a doll.

“Ouch!”

“What?”

“Never mind. Just an electric shock.”

What should I do.

I think I know what is going on.

One side of the Queen’s palace was preserved as the residence for the maids and it was two person rooms, and it seemed that my roommate was Mina, and if this was a buffer it felt like one. Why should I call this a buffer. Maybe she is more humble than what others think of her. Or maybe she could be more humble. I held onto my roommate’s hand and walked into the room carefully looking around and seeing what Mina does to put her clothes, find clothes to wear, and came to sit on the opposite bed of Mina’s.

“Ahsee, something seemed off today. Did something happen?”

“No, why? What feels strange?”

“You seem less talkative so I wondered if something bad happened.”

What would happen if I said I have lost my memories? I wanted to directly ask “Who am I and where am I?” However, no one here would call a doctor as if I was a precious lady who hurt her head from falling down the stairs, and no one will treat for my discomfort as if I am a precious pottery.

“I have never seen someone give birth before, so I was surprised.”

“Oh wow… you have never seen it before?”

“Yes. I have never seen anyone with a child other than when I was very young.”

“Everyone experiences it like this.”

“I know… I know everyone goes through it, but I am a little scared.”

“It’s okay Ahsee. This is how everyone is born.”

From the other side of the bed, Mina pulled down her hair from inside her hair cap, and then grabbed my hand. She is a good and kind person. I have to hide that I am not the ‘Ahsee’ character in this story. Could I get more information about Ahsee’s life? Could I lie to her roommate?

“I am going to go to bed early. I am scared I am going to see it in my dream again.”

“No, no. You are going to have a good dream. I am going to go talk to Sav real quick. Go to sleep.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“It’s just next door.”

“Sorry.”

It was early in the day and today was the day that the inheritor to the throne, the prince, was born. Mina, as well as the other maids, probably have a lot to talk about and won’t sleep for a while. I wanted to follow Mina into the other rooms and learn more about this place and gather information, but I also need my alone time.

Mina waited until after she untied my hair and tucked me in bed. She is a kind and friendly person. She said if I can’t fall asleep or if I feel better, I am more than welcomed to join them in the other room. Then she turned off my nightstand light, reduced hers to the dimmest setting, turned around to look at me and left.

That girl is Mina. My roommate. The blue eyed maid I held conversations with is Ellie. Sav is next door. I murmured their names multiple times in an attempt to not forget the them. While Mina is still in the other room, I should visit them. I just need a second on my own to cool down.

Jurgel and Evans. I know their names.

He is a young and strong King and the Kings unconditionally loves a young and beautiful man. They overcame all adversities, hardships, loved each other without any doubts, and were willing to give up their more precious, and brilliant things for each other but nothing in the world could be more precious than their love for one another. The man preferred a flower from the King than anything else in the world and the King preferred to drink water with that man than any other savory drinks in the world. It was true love, a beautiful love. They only loved each other.

There was a novel like that.

When I read, I thought the characters’ name was a simple symbol, and I didn’t catch it at first because I have read so many books, but I now remember one book with similar situation. I remember the title as “Escape,” but the story and the title had no relation to each other. People who read it would be moved by the King and the man’s flawless love story, like a common novel. If there were one thing that was hindering their love, it would have been the Queen.

Of course the King had a fiancé when he was young and needed a heir to continue his throne, and the man that he loved couldn’t provide that. The King was able to give everything except the seat as the ‘Queen’ to the man of his love, and the man could give all his love to the King except a child. In a story like this, the fate and destiny of the female character is fixed.

Their love is so exclusive and special that there was no place for the Queen to fit in. Then what would be her role? It isn’t even to stand there as a piece of furniture in someone’s garden, let alone the dust on the ground or something of that sort?

Despite the fact that she was the Queen, she came into the palace without a wedding for the sole reason that she was selected. When his lover said the palace, the Queen was staying at was beautiful, the King, without a doubt, kicked the Queen out and gave the palace to his lover. And when his lover expressed his jealously of the Queen being introduced to the public, the King once again stepped in and announced that the Queen is banned from any public activity. After being kicked out of the palace, the Queen has been living quickly, but unfortunately, she ran into the King and his lover while they were out on a walk, and that resulted to her quarantine. In addition, she was treated poorly and when she gave birth to the prince, the King’s lover took her baby as well.

I actually read the novel in anticipation of when the Queen would **** over the King’s lover. As I got closer to the end of the novel, I was so curious about how she was going to take revenge that the King and his lover’s story didn’t even cross my mind. Unfortunately, until the day she died of her illness, the Queen remained a wise and kindhearted woman. Nothing in my life is upfront, and in attempt to feel better I read this novel, but even in this novel it doesn’t happen… I know this is a love story between the King and his lover, but I hoped that the Queen would attempt to take revenge of some sort even if it was useless.

Okay. So this is probably a book scene. When I desired to be in a different world all through my youth, it didn’t come. Now I am in a book, as a side character, and I have a quest to complete. So what am I supposed to do?

I am no the author of this book. Am I just suppose to survive through the prince being taken away from his mom and her dying because of an illness? When I lifted my head up from washing the mushrooms for ramen, I saw a lady that I have never seen before giving birth and this is now a self-mission to complete?

Ramen is best when the noodles are cooked right. When you put in mushrooms and sliced onions at boiling point, the broth deepens, the mushrooms softens and the onions crisp, making it delicious. In honesty, I also like it when my onions are fully cooked. Don’t stir the egg. The eggs in rice cake soup is good, but I don’t like it when the ramen broth is bitter. If you ever want to be fancy, add some Vienna sausage, dumplings, or sprinkle some cheese, and it will become more luxurious.

I already put some dumplings and some sliced onions in. Now all I had to do was wash the mushrooms and sprinkle some cheese… what happened to my ramen?

I stood up from my seat. If I fell asleep like this, I really hoped I wake up in front of that sink where I was about to wash my mushrooms, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen. So I don’t have much time.

The maid’s room is not big. The room was almost perfectly symmetrical, with a bed in the center, a small side table with a stand next to it, a mirror next to it, a console that could be used as a dressing table, and a closet next to it. The space closer to the door is Mina’s and next to it is ‘Ahsee’s.’

I remember seeing Mina touching the stand. The stand wasn’t electric, but reacted with the fingers’ temperature. I turned the dim light brighter and got up from bed. I looked into the closet I briefly saw before and looked deeper at them.

On the hangers, there were only a maid’s outfit and a few simple dresses and on top of a shelf in the closet there were several shoes laying around. In the shelf, half of undergarments were folded neatly while the other half were just mixed in there. In another shelf, there were a mixture of hats, bags, and things of that sort. I dug my hand in deeply into the shelves, but there wasn’t anything special in them. It’s fine. I didn’t expect to find anything in here.

I closed the closet, this time I sat on my chair in front of the console and opened the side table drawer. When I went to a famous hotel in Japan, a Bible was in here. When I skimmed through ‘Escape,’ religion was not a big deal there. That’s why there was no Bible in here. Instead there were two palm-sized boxes.

They were music boxes.

When I lifted the heavy lid, a soft music popped up with female and male figures reaching out for each other, rotating slowly.

It’s unique. Usually, aren’t the male and female figures hugging one another? Or a ballerina? As if they were walking round and round, their legs appeared to be moving like they were walking, their bodies were faced forward, their heads were faced each other, their hands reached out towards one another, but still untouched. I put my fingers between the two outstretched hands and tried to connect the two hands. The actual distance is pretty minimal, but if this was to represent real life, would this be a far distance?

As soon as I closed the lid, the soft music stopped. The other box was also a music box. It was a scene of people having a picnic under the clock tower, and when I turned the clock’s hand back, the people figures walked, danced, and drank some tea.

A music box collection. What a cute hobby. I collect them too. I don’t have a ton because they are so expensive, but I have started collecting seasonal ones. The two music boxes are much more complex and sophisticated than the ones I have in Korea, and they seemed quite classy to my inexperienced eyes. Items that require high maintained could cost quite a bit of money. The prices here and Korea may not be the same, but given that, this would definitely not be a cheap price. Could Ahsee afford these? She barely had inexpensive clothes or shoes.

Before I put the music boxes in, I carefully checked the top and bottom of the drawer, but there was nothing unusual. In hopes that it might be a double drawer, I knocked up and down and left and right of the drawer, but nothing suspicious. I was disappointed.

There was special at the table. I quickly turned around and sat in front of the console. Since it has a mirror, it looks like it can be used as a makeup stand, but looking at the drawers and shape below, it could also be a desk. The top row was a shallow drawer with three compartments, and underneath it there was enough space to hold a chair, with three drawers on each side, and the overall design was based on wavy lines.

In front of the mirror, a writing utensil similar to a fountain pen was there, and next to it were bottles that seemed like they were used for cosmetics. I grabbed some of them and shook them and opened the lid, but I couldn’t figure out what was moisturizer and what was cream. The red cosmetics in the small jar seemed some type of lipstick, but they were not stick-shaped or brushed, so I couldn’t figure out how one would use it. What I really wanted was to fall asleep now and wake up in my own house, but to say that did not work out, then I would have to wake up tomorrow and apply this but I have no idea how to use this thing. And frankly speaking, I think I am going to wake up as a maid and not in my room in my house.

I put down the makeup and first opened up the top middle drawer. There were a few earrings and necklaces. It was similar to what I would wear, and this might be a rapid decision since I haven’t gone through all the drawers, but it seemed like ‘Ahsee’ was someone who didn’t really care too much about organization. No matter how I look at it, I feel like she just threw them in the drawer. I like it. I do that too. I won’t be caught by my roommate because she things my lifestyle has changed.

The left drawer, which is about one palm long, was filled with large and small blank papers, and the right drawer consisted of several unidentified miscellaneous items, a few coins, and a wallet. The rest of the drawers had powders that looked like herbs, medicines for emergency use, and a bunch of snacks. Nothing noticeable.

I wasn’t really looking for something specific, but I wanted a diary or something like a diary to come out, for example. I was disappointed. There’s nothing I can use to learn more about this world or ‘Ahsee.’ I even hoped that at the point when I realized I was in a book, there would magically be a pop up of a quest or something to tell me how to get back home, but there wasn’t anything.

I was making ramen. So I did not reincarnate from death or was summoned. I did not even see a conflicted devil or grim reaper, so this is not even due to be an error or a devil’s joy. ‘Ahsee’ didn’t even call me to live her life for her. So where could she have gone? If she didn’t die due to the shock of the Queen giving birth, then did we exchange bodies? But ‘Ahsee’ is a book character, not a human, so basically ink. Could she have replaced my soul and finish washing my mushrooms and finish making my ramen?

I lifted my head and finally looked at the mirror I have been avoided.

I saw my reflection in a unfamiliar outfit. There was nothing unfamiliar about my face. This is the same face that I saw this morning while I was washing my face. The same birth mark next to my eye and the same pimple on my chin. But my hair is now down to my waist. Am I here because I have the same face? I don’t know why it is ‘Escape.’ When I was reading the novel, I yelled, like I felt watching Couple Clinic: Love and War, ‘Queen, at least tug on the King’s lover’s hair and bite him,’ but I never truly considered how the Queen felt and I didn’t feel the urge to need to take revenge for her, so I don’t understand why I am in this book, ‘Escape.’ I was so much more invested in the next books of the series, so why this one?

This reminds me of my college days. It was a majors exam, and the questions were parts I’ve overlooked so leaving the page in front of me blank, staring at a blank space for around 30 minutes, I turned my blank paper around and gave myself my own question and filled out my own answer. My miserable sophomore second semester midterm. I got partial credit on that, but this has no solution.

Is the Queen even the answer? If this follows the original story, would I just let her die due to her illness or am I suppose to alter the story to help the gay King break up with his lover and help him develop feelings for the Queen. Should I write down 1 and 2 on a piece of paper and drop a pencil to determine the faith? I know that there are no answers to life, but I at least want to know the answer to this.

I leaned against the chair and stared at my/Ahsee’s face until my face in the error felt like a stranger.

I cannot do this for long. I stood up and took the shawl from the chair, put it on my back, and came out of the room. Mina said she would be next door in Sav’s. Our room is at the end of the hallway, so I didn’t have to worry about where the next door room is. My roommate is Mina, the blue eyed maid who was talking to Mina earlier was Ellie, and my next door neighbor is Sav.

I knocked next door and opened the door before I could hear a response.

“Hi Sav? Could I join you guys?”

It was still too early to go to bed. I saw a few people on the bed in their pajamas. Four… Five people. Who is going to answer?

Epilogue—–

Ramen is so good when you add mushrooms.

Surprisingly, maid work fit my aptitude.

Wow, why did I spend my four years at college? I have debated so many times where to apply for a job, but this was it? I found out what my aptitude is at a place you can’t even reach even if you tried with an airplane?? I did look into a part time job as a server at restaurants and hotels, but didn’t think I could handle all that and school, but now that this was the only way to survive, it was not a bad job.

In my minimal common sense, the maid and the housemaid tended to be in different classes, and they knew that their work were different. As a result of going through Ahsee’s belongings, I came to a conclusion that she is a housemaid and not a noble for sure.

Perhaps the Queen, the King was so coldhearted to, didn’t have the right to utilize good maids. I am not sure if they don’t send the Queen any maids or if the Queen has to maids herself so she didn’t use them and there is no way to really tell… I’ve learned from interacting with the other maids that none of them are from a wealthy family and that none of us could tell if we are maids or housemaids.

That’s because I am doing a maid’s and a housemaid’s job at the same time.

Everyday, what I do changes. One day it is to protect the Queen’s distance by waiting, another is laundry, another is cleaning parts of the palace. The kitchen seemed to use professionals, and maids like Mina and ‘Ahsee’ are sent to do the dirty work with a distinction. I am not too pretty, but my hands are white and plump like a rich lady’s. Thank you God. In place of a face that wouldn’t change too much even if I sent money on it, I’ve got nice hands that doesn’t need much care.

Time passed by quickly day by day and the newborn prince was already about two weeks old.

In the meantime, I didn’t find anything like the Goddess’ Trust or the Shadow of the Demon King who threatened mankind, and it was unlikely that I would find a magic book left by a legendary sage or a treasure left by the Founding King. The world was peaceful and I was insignificant.

And if you want more of my personal opinion, the King is a bitch.

“He probably wouldn’t come today either, hm?”

I asked Anna as I was drying the dishes with a cloth. Anna was often excluded from harsh work and is considered the prettiest one out of all of us.

“Even if he does… Would he even stay for 3 minutes?”

“But still”

“I would rather not have him come. If he does, it’s an emergency.”

Without love, the child is born and raised. In a non-fairytale world, wouldn’t there be less children who are born without love. But the baby prince is born without love because the King needed a heir to his throne, and now the baby does not even have a name. The King’s actions are full of shit. The baby has been around for about two weeks, and he doesn’t have a name other than prince.

“Something feels suspicious.”

Jesse, drying off the knives and fork with a towel, spoke.

“What is?”

“That monster.”

The King’s lover, the beloved of almost every man in the world, has been nicknamed as a monster or a sly fox by the ladies of the Queen’s Palace. The nickname everyone concluded of was a monster.

While I was dumbfounded in the transition from cooking my ramen to helping with a birth scene, the image of Jurgel in my head already became blurry. How did she look like again? I do recall her having a young pretty look.

“Gay devil.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just that the plate is heavy.”

In the novel, Jurgel was born under the stars to receive love. If there was an angel who shone love and fascination, it would be Jurgel. Almost all men fell in love when they saw Jugel. So did the childhood friend of the king, the escort knight, and the fine prince of another country who she refused. Even her younger brother suffered persecution and repaid the resentment of his sister, kidnapped Jurgel and eventually threw herself under his feet and begged for love. There was a time when I fell back at my hopeless dreams that the Queen wouldn’t die and take revenge of her son’s birth. There was a day like that.

“Would it be okay?”

Jesse spoke again. It seemed as if there were gray clouds above our head.

“It’s not like we told on anyone…”

While the King came like the wind and disappeared like a paycheck, Jurgel was different. After about a week of the prince being born, she kept repeating the word daddy to the baby according to Sav who heard it from the guards at the palace. Just yesterday, the Queen had returned to the palace.

Thanks to the fact that the King’s lover visited the Queen without a promise and without a messenger, the female servants were silently upset. Especially if that person is Jurgel. Because no one was taught how to handle that situation. Because of this unexpected situation, everyone is in panic.

Maybe it was Pepe who did, but someone went to grab the maid in charge. Even though none of us did anything wrong, we still felt guilty of something and Jurgel was just walking back and forth on her own.

“Even if we didn’t tattletale, would the King think that.”

“But we didn’t really say anything.”

“We didn’t even talk to them.”

It’s hard to bring sense into a man in love.

“Guys, something happened!”

Pepe busted running in. I am pretty sure Pepe was the one that went to look for the maid in charge yesterday. There was a bunch of people still left because dinner just ended. Everyone who was cleaning the dishes and preparing for tomorrows’ meals turned to look at Pepe.

“The King brought the soldiers…”

What. What kind of a jackass brings soldiers to see a wife who just gave birth.

Did he come to take away the prince? From what I remember, the Queen gave up the baby easily. The King didn’t even need to bring all these soldiers?

The anxiety in the kitchen was already high. We had nowhere to go hide and didn’t even know a reason to hide. Everyone looked at the entrance where Pepe came in and leaned against each other for support. Shortly after, there were sounds of iron clashing followed by screams of men and women. I was nervous on when the soldiers were going to break in here but the loud foot stomps didn’t seem like they were going around everywhere. People slowly let go of each other and looked around at each other.

Ah. I remembered. Those are the soldiers who came to arrest the Queen. To be precise they were soldiers who came to arrest the maids, but the maids were so uninterested in the Queen that it was no use at all.

Everyone started to calm down and crowded in front of the door and windows. People here were used to situations like these. Pepe, Anna, Jesse, and I all walked towards the door as well. The kitchen in the palace was underground and because Pepe left the door wide open when she ran in, we were able to look at the legs of soldiers and of the maids the soldiers were dragging.

“What will happen to them?”

“It would probably the same as before.”

“What was before?”

“They would either get kicked out or sent to another palace.”

“Nothing is changing huh.”

“Yeah basically?

The King was not at all interested in the Queen, but once in a while he flipped over the Queen’s palace. The Queen didn’t have any power or strength, but in fear that she inadvertently threatened beloved Jurgel, the King made sure to come by once in a while and stabbed her with rose thorns to cut away her power.

What is human’s loyalty made of? I think it may be high pay, generous welfare, people working together, or long-term service. I’m not sure how much the Queen’s maids make, but you never know who is going to be replaced and you never know how long you will work there. In a place, like that building loyalty would be hard. We are human as well and do feel bad for the Queen, but it is hard for us to give up something to be loyal to her. In a different place, one can probably talk about how they feel bad for the Queen and what a jackass Jurgel is.

After a while, Mina, who was assigned to do the sewing work today, glanced over and walked over to us, laid on the staircase and put her hand over her chin. Jesse asked.

“Did you hear what this was about?”

“Yes. It is because she was rude to that fox.”

“Rude?!”

Because I was in charge of cleaning the hallways yesterday, I saw Jurgel come by to wonder around. There wasn’t any action of rudeness. It wasn’t like the maids poured cold water over Jurgel nor did they insult him by yelling ‘Male ********** **** off!’

“No one did anything yesterday?”

Anna, who was serving the Queen yesterday, disagreed. Good thing that the soldiers came in today. If they came in yesterday, Anna would also have been dragged away.

“So it is that. No one did anything rude.”

“What! Were we suppose to greet someone who was just standing there in silence?”

Pepe complained out loud. Then I imagined for a second maids greeting male concubine who came by unnoticed with high pitched voiced, welcoming him and asking if he needs any help. This is something that is very unusual, but I guess that is what the King was expecting.

And so that is what I did.

Epilogue—————

Serving is all about having a good balance, but it was very hard for me. Very very hard…

When I was working a part time job at a taxi call center to earn some cash, I learned it like that. Even if they don’t see you, put a smile on your face, have a elated voice, in a loud clear voice, and with the statement,

“Hello, Jurgel~! How could I help you~?”

I love you, customer. How could I help you. At the taxi call center, there were a lot of drunken customer and because of that when I said I love you customer, some asked if I truly meant it. I felt burdened whenever that happened. Now that my customer has changed to Jurgel, a similar yet different burden followed. Then I was conflicted, now I’m scared of dying. So then I desperately smiled. If Jurgel spoke one wrong word, I am dead.

Today, I felt the Anna, Mina, and other maids that I am close to look at me like I was crazy. I can feel it all. Even those who looked scared out of their minds about Jurgel’s situation a few moments ago now looked at me as if I was busking in a handstand, *****, in front of a whole crowd at Exit 9 of Hongdae Station. The maid in charge stared as if she was going to do something with her authority.

That’s not to say that the intention is not there at all, but that’s not necessarily the intention. I know why Jurgel is here at the castle roaming around.

“Well… what is your name?”

“It is Ahsee, Mr. Jurgel.”

In ‘Escape,’ Jurgel was born to only be loved, not to be hated or be hateful to others. He was probably ignorant or indifferent to others other than his loved one. The evidence for that is that he did not hate the King who made love with a different woman and had a baby. This would typically be seen as cheating, but he was okay with it and he did not hate the King for it. I was surprised by that. How could he not doubt someone’s love when you see a baby with your lover and someone’s else’s face on it.

“I would like to see the baby prince.”

Jurgel was around the Queen’s palace these past few days because he wanted to see the baby prince. There wasn’t anyone who could easily go up to Jurgel and talk to him nor did Jurgel know who to ask to go see the baby prince. That is why no one in the Queen’s palace talked to Jurgel and why the King got angry. I’m sure that the way I spoke is probably against the court manners.

“Mistress, ma’am. Jurgel came by because he wanted to meet the baby.”

On top of the wavy stairs stood the mistress like the goddess of judgement. Confidently, I bent my knees and bowed towards the mistress and repeated my words. After a few seconds, she bowed towards Jurgel and I, with a face that warned that she could pull out a knife from anywhere.

“I will go tell the Queen.”

The Queen has not fully recovered from giving birth, so it was difficult for her to move around. The mistress left Jurgel, the guest, and walked inside to the Queen’s room while I stood there with a bright smile for Jurgel. I am suppose to handle this situation, but how would I know. I feel like there is a waiting room around or something!

Since the maids here change so often, and looking at how the Queen can’t use good housemaids, not just me, but no one else probably knows either. The education of the ladies of the Queen’s Palace remained at the level of making the appearance in the work that was needed immediately. Almost all of them were also trainees without professional training. And that is why my plump clean white hands fall along with my face that looks like I have a job to serve others. On top of that, when the Queen was giving birth, there was no guest around either.

After a while, the mistress came back and bowed towards Jurgel, and then she proceeded to guide him to the baby prince’s room. I debated if I should follow or stay behind. When I was standing between two choices, the mistress looked back and me and nodded at me.

Uh hopefully that nod doesn’t mean she will cut my throat? Since I know she is the one to put a blanket over the Queen after she passes away from her illness, I become small in front of her. How many years is that. Her time is also time of patience and suffering.

I followed right behind Jurgel into the baby prince’s room. Jurgel is someone who has been praised by others and is a kind and a good person, but at the palace he is not looked upon and that is why while I was walking behind him my brain felt like it was going to burst from the complete silence around us.

Anyways even someone who I don’t know if he is a current or ex boyfriend or whatever he is comes to see the baby prince, while the real father only comes by once in the beginning. If I was the mom, I would tell the baby softly in his ears every night that your father was not by you at all after he visited you once after birth and that he did not even name you. The King might have taken the prince from the Queen because of someone like me. But the Queen is not like that.

The Queen’s bedroom was at the highest point of the building and the baby prince’s room was far away from the Queen’s bedroom. The mistress opened up the huge doors to the room and Jurgel went in alone.

A light wind was blowing. In the middle of the room, the baby prince was lying on the cradle, and a nanny and a young maid stood next to it as if they have been contacted earlier. The baby prince was asleep quietly, resembling the Queen, and the calm and peaceful smell passed with the breeze.

“Hi, baby.”

That day Jurgel held the child of his beloved man.

This scene was a little different than I remembered. He seemed happy, and the baby prince, who woke up from a sweet sleep, suddenly slept and grabbed Jurgel’s finger, wielding an incredibly small hand. The little prince murmured something and went back to bed, but Jurgel couldn’t put the baby down for a while. The room even felt different from outside of the room, and Jurgel, who embraced the child, was shining gently like a saint who forgives and loves sins and muddiness around the world. The image of Jurgel singing a slow song to the baby prince, like the statue of the ******, looked even sacred. Seems like the world is all about how one looks.

The queen would eventually lose the baby that looks like her.

Even if you read the book and see some things differently, the King is still a son of a bitch and Jurgel still shines. It’s like how the sky is still blue, summer is still hot, and like how winter is still cold. It falls under something that will not change for me.

I peaked at the mistress’s face. She was staring at Jurgel like she wanted to take the baby from him at any second. I should stay silent. I wanted to step back. If she realized that I was right next to her, I felt like she was going to start screaming at me saying “You! You are guilty of daring to speak friendly to such a person like Jurgel!” I am not guilty. If I was guilty of something it would be that I wanted to live. I have to survive in the Queen’s palace. I cannot go anywhere else. I have to survive here.

Thin and long. In this smooth world, this is my life goal.

Actually, even in reality outside this book, this is my life goal.

Epilogue———————————————————–

Main character’s resume – pamphlet passing out part time job, hotel servicewoman part time job, Taxi call center TM, librarian, questionnaire, etc.

A good-looking man arrived. The main character Jurgel and the King have already been casted, not those two, but a different handsome man arrived.

“Did you see? A handsome man is here.”

I was on morning cleaning duty. I was yawning, rubbing my eyes and sweeping through the garden, yawning so well that I was scared that this was really my aptitude. I’ve seen an advertisement slogans that showed that some beauty stops time and space, but I’ve never seen a handsome man who has slowed down my time in real life. My time and space sucked towards the good-looking man.

I quickly cleaned up the big areas and went to find my other maid friends to spill the tea.

“What? Where? Where??”

“Who is it? It isn’t that monster is it?”

Slowly, my friends stopped their work. They all urgently cleaned up after their work and gathered to go look at the beautiful man I was talking about. We all walked close towards the Queen’s room and hid. Maybe it was because he was a stranger and a man, the Queen’s door was wide open and the beautiful man walked out.

“Well, isn’t that just Sir Alex?”

“Ahsee, you got us.”

My friends all started to mutter away. This is my first time seeing him, but I guess it is someone that I know. I am confident though. I don’t break down for this small thing.

“But a good looking man is a good looking man.”

He is a beauty. His brown hair fluffed around he is universally beautiful.

“Yeah… He is beautiful.”

“Really good-looking…”

“Ahsee you talked about him as if he is a new beautiful man.”

He did not look like the Queen. The queen was also a modest type, not a beauty type. The queen only has a younger brother who later becomes Jurgel’s scrubber, and the younger brother’s name was not what they called him, so who is he?”

“Even if you look again, he is new and a good-looking!”

I have to keep thinking. Someone that everyone knows and ‘Ahsee’ knows too. It wasn’t a problem that I couldn’t remember maid work because everyone else was doing it, but to forget someone is something that will not be easily overlooked. I can’t safely pass this problem unless I pretend to have amnesia or something.

Alex ‘Sir’ they said so he must be a knight. When he came out the Queen’s room, he started a conversation with the mistress, who was standing next to the door. When Jurgel was here last time, that mistress said Jurgel has to make an appointment before too. She dared to say that to Jurgel. She is someone who does something when it needs to be done. But after that day, her stare towards me is cold. I am not a spy or a traitor. I am just a soul who wants to live a thin and long life.

“But since Sir Alex is back, that means we have more work to do.”

“So what. It’s not like he needed a lot to take care of.”

This beautiful sir was a resident here? I said with my hands in front of my chest.

“I wish I was his personal maid.”

He is good looking, but since all the work around here seemed to fit my aptitude, I wanted to focus on one thing instead and wanted to think about my life and future. And just when I would think that my life is over, I wish I could recover from that handsome face of his.

“You are already that fox’s personal maid.”

I felt like I heard someone nail a nail in a sponge. It has been about a week since Jurgel first came here. Following the mistress’s demand, Jurgel noticed us before he came every time and I was the person in charge every time it happened. I wanted to believe that it was just my mood, but if Ellie said this, it probably isn’t just my mood or atmosphere.”

“It’s probably because of the atmosphere.”

“Hmm”

If I wanted to live a thin and long life, I cannot stand out. But right now Sir Alex was more of my concern. If he is not here because he is related to the Queen, I’m not sure what kind of relationship he has. I chose to ask a bit in a hurry. After my body was written all over with ‘Ahsee,’ all the questions I’ve held in started to flow.

“But why is he here now?”

Ever since my maid friends realized the identify of this beautiful man, they have lost all interest. Since they have left in a hurry, they slowly started going back to finish their unfinished work. Since everyone was back to normal mood, Jesse answered briefly.

“He probably came back completely cured. I mean how would he do his work if he is completely well.”

At the end of that sentence, we all went back to our own works.

‘Ahsee.’

The mistress called me while I took the broom I hid behind the stairs in a hurry and started sweeping again. I was nervous to know if Jurgel has contacted her again, but it didn’t seem like this was about that.

“There will be an empty room on the east end of the 4th floor. Clean the room right now. Make it sparkle.”

Without asking, I picked up that it would be for Sir Alex. I took the broom and the cleaning tools for the room and went up to the room explained by the mistress. If the Queen’s room is considered the center, Sir Alex’s room is east of prince’s room.

As soon as I opened the door, I could spell the dust. I was not trying to be sensitive, but I had to cough naturally and the dampness of the room seemed to be have been trapped for a long time. Even if the owner empties the room, shouldn’t you clean it every day? Looking at Emma, it seemed like that, but the reality of the Queen’s Palace is likely to be abolition of tasks that are less important right now.

I put down the cleaning supplies near the doors and started with opening the windows. I opened the curtain, which has been closed for a long time, and the sun that began to rise came into the room long.

Alex Mohitter. I remember this name. Before I got frustrated at the Queen’s silence, I was an avid reader of the “Escape.” Like, right until her baby got taken from her. Alex Mohitter was an escort knight brought by the queen from her parents and was a person who she leaned on like her brother because of his quiet and serious personality.

It was until he finds the lost Jurgel in the now lost Garden of the Queen’s Palace. Born to be loved by all, Jurgel surrendered the queen’s escort knight who had been upright and serious that day without intention. The queen has never showed her true expressions around people since that day.

When the Queen was pregnant, he was hurt with a camel incident and had to go away for a little while to heal is what I remember reading. That must be now. Since then, he has been unable to abandon his love for Jurgel and is troubled and troubled. The back part was mainly about the queen, so I don’t remember much since I skimmed through those parts.

This was the reason why the main characters who reincarnate or insist are writing down what happens on the timeline after the current time. I thought of writing down something I knew at the beginning, but I only saw the queen from around this time, so I can hardly remember what happened since then.

Sir Alex’s situation will be no different. In order to shine the love of Jurgel and the King, he must give up all the precious things he has. We are just cubic or synthetic metal for shining diamond necklaces.

Still, the description of the part where Sir Alex was looking for the lost Jurgel was pretty beautiful and exciting. So I got flustered at the thought that Jurgel’s sub-man finally appeared, but that wasn’t his role.

But I am jealous. With just his face, he was able to capture so many others. I want to experience such a life.

Where is my change?

When is my change?

What is my chance?

Epilogue———————————-

The Queen’s knight is gay.

The weather is nice and the beautiful man is here again.

Time has flew by quickly and it’s been a month since I’ve been here, and now I’m a professional maid and maid. Still, we can’t distinguish between the professional maid’s work and the maid’s work, and we don’t understand or respond to the in-depth version of the work, but it’s been possible for me to have a look to copy what others do and today’s the day we finally rotate our work. We are classified as using a maid, who do the dirty work, or using a lesser body as a professional maid. In the business rotation system, the queen’s palace frequently turns people with pretty faces or clean hands toward the professional maid, but I continue to turn to one of them because of the Jurgel, and after a long time I have finally been given the job of the queen’s maid. I feel like I have become a secret worker in the palace.

On this sunny day, about a month after the birth of the child, the Queen sat in a reception room holding the baby prince, and looking down at the knight kneeling down on under the stairs to show his respect. The baby prince, said to be a calm baby, was asleep in the Queen’s arms. The Queen’s face did not look like someone who had just given birth, but someone who was depressed.

If we were in Korea or if I was close to her, I would give her a printout of the a list of hospitals that offer counseling for postpartum depression, but this is not Korea nor am I close to her. Since they have a strict structure, if I said anything they could kill me, but everyone who around her also looked depressed.

“Did you say the King sent you?”

“Yes my lady. Shin Mio Zodiac, I will risk my life and protect your baby as long as there is honor.

Ohh. This is a scene of the oath of the knight. Sir Mio, kneeling on one knee, held the sword horizontally in front of her chest and said it plainly. The oath of a handsome man in a dark blue knight’s uniform was a beautiful sight that I would want to capture in a camera…

The problem was that the Queen was depressed and that knight also looked pretty gloomy. He was good looking but looked like he had a whole backstory in his past. Personally, I do like guys with mysterious, dark backgrounds, but not for this situation. That knight would also stay at this palace, like Sir Alex, but if he is with the depressed Queen I feel like the gloomy atmosphere will just spread out more. Depression is contagious.

Of course, it isn’t like I don’t know the reason for that depression.

The queen looked down at him without a word even after the oath of Sir Mio, and Sir Mio once again knelt down on one knee like it’s his first time and waited for the queen’s reply. Technically, he is the baby prince’s knight so he didn’t need the Queen’s permission, but he still honored the Queen. Good thought. Even if the queen shows no objection to him, his life in the queen’s palace can turn out to be a piece of shit.

The queen, who had the face of a person sinking in real-time and sinking in real time, slowly bowed her head to see the prince sleeping with an innocent face, then lifted her head and looked around, making eye contact with me. Ah.. I was one of those students who casually looked down when a teacher was about to ask a question. I guess my skill has subsided.

The Queen, looking at me, silently raised her baby prince she was holding. Me? ME? Are you talking about me? I wanted to use my fingers to double check that she was talking about me, but at that moment I saw the mistress eyeball me. Ah. I should just shut up and hold the baby prince.

Slowly, I held the baby, but the baby was lighter and softer than I thought. I was scared because it couldn’t hold its own head. Since I am still single and because I don’t have any niece or nephew or anyone around me have a baby, I have not handled a baby and the only thing I remember about one is my cousin from long long ago when they could not stop crying. As I couldn’t even breathe since I wasn’t sure if I was holding the baby right, the Queen spoke to me.

“Go deliver the baby for him to hug.”

Wow. She is bold. I am not sure if she had much affectionate towards the baby, but she is giving her own baby to a knight who seems like he has never held a baby before to him to hold. That risk is high but admirable. I would never do such thing.

However, I lived on orders and died on orders, so I did what I asked. The mistress eyed me to quickly move and so I carefully walked behind and around the Queen to bring the baby to the arms of the knight who was kneeling.

Since I had to get the baby back, I kneeled next to the knight and scared stared at the baby’s face.

The face of the baby prince was less than the length of his fingers, and the knight was big and firm. Even if not as much as a foreign actor who carried his daughter like a hot dog, the baby prince wrapped in white robes and held in his arms looked like freshly tofu. His eyes, which embraced the prince carefully, became a little darker, and the other hand touched the cheeks of the baby prince and touched the air nearby to fix the reinforcement.

“Since you are to protect the baby, I hope you have no feeling of rejection towards holding the baby.”

The Queen said monotonously, watching Sir Mio hand over the baby prince to me. When I held the baby prince again, I carefully climbed to the stage where the queen sat, but I was a little impatient because the queen didn’t even look at me and looked like someone who lost interest in her child. Thankfully, the nanny, who was standing behind, quickly caught up and brought the baby prince into her arms casually.

“Susa. Please prepare a room opposite the baby to Sir Mio. Seems like I’ll be safer since both Sir Alex and Sir Mio are right beside me.”

The mistress bowed and accepted the Queen’s order. The Queen, looking tired, lifted her thin hands to touch her forehead, and stood up from her stop. She turned around and started walking only to stop a few steps in to suddenly ask Sir Mio.

“Are you coming right away?”

“I will come back after I report this to the King and pack a few of my belongings.”

Now standing, Sir Mio spoke with a hand over his chest. The greetings and examples of the articles were as old as I thought while reading the book. The Queen, looking at the knight who bowed before her, said in a dry tone.

“Please thank the King for sending a knight before a name.”

Wow. She has a character. I thought she was a kind and pure person since she hasn’t said anything about Jurgel stopping by to see the baby, but she does know how to kick a knight in the face.

And with that, the Queen left. Sir Mio looked continued looking at her with his dark, gloomy eyes. Maybe it is because people who are depressed and not happy have something in common, I thought that while they differed, the Queen and Sir Mio resembled each other a lot. The maids followed the Queen out. I had to follow too, but I looked back once to look at him again. He was still looking at the back of the Queen. If you look closely, with such dark, gloomy eyes.

That is how Mio Zodiac, the prince’s knight, one who loves Jurgel and because of that pours hatred of the Queen in the prince’s ears, came into the Queen’s palace.

Epilogue——————————————————————–

The baby prince’s knight is also gay.

Since the new guy characters are mostly gay, they are no help to the Queen at all.

Two man who love the same man now lives in the east and west of one building floor and so there are two man who love Jurgel next to the Queen. There is a man, and there is a concubine and another concubine. The situation where two men and a man who loves the same man live in one place is astral, but the Queen seems okay, probably because she does not know about Sir Mio’s feelings.

Sir Mio came to the Queen’s Palace the next day, so yesterday. Jurgel came to see the baby prince again. The calm baby prince is so calm and collected that no matter whose hands he was in, a maid or someone else, he just played along. Now it has become a routine for Jurgel to sing to the baby prince while he swayed the baby. The baby prince fell asleep well with Jurgel’s lullabies.

To be honest, there were times where the scene when Jurgel was singing to the baby prince was gorgeous. He is a beautiful man. Occasionally, the sun appeared to shine for him, the flowers bloomed to praise him, and the wind seemed to blow to carry his scent. Born to be loved, Jurgel even seemed to welcome and bless the whole world.

Even when I read the novel, he shined in my eyes. I wonder how much he shined in the eyes of Sir Mio, who was already in love in Jurgel.

Mom, what crime did I commit in my past life that I cannot just stare at this beautiful scene with my two bare eyes.

Now the baby prince’s knight, Sir Mio, has not looked away from Jurgel ever since he got here. Jurgel’s face, Jurgel’s hair, Jurgel’s shoulders, Jurgel’s back, Jurgel’s shadow…

Even as a person watching, I was sighing at how strongly Sir Mio was looking at Jurgel, Jurgel did not really seem to care much about it. Maybe because he has an overly insensitive nerve to notice Sir Mio’s gaze, or maybe he has been loved for a long time and became accustomed to such a gaze and became indifferent.

Sir Mio’s eyes were dark and dark green. I kept looking, and I noticed the green color that was fleeting, but it was a dark green eye that would have been difficult to detect if I had passed by. If I looked into that eye under bright sunlight, I wondered if it would look different, or if the melancholy sensation of the heart towards Jurgel made his eyes darker. Probably no way to know.

That was yesterday. I dragged my chair and sat in front of the window, looking up at the night sky. Compared to Seoul, the sky was so black and full of stars, I sighed.

Criminals don’t have ‘I am a criminal’ written all over their face, but when I look at Sir Mio’s face, I also get depressed and curious. How to say this, it feels like he is in debt of like 12 million dollars and looks like he was offered to have that paid off and get paid, so he is just forcing himself to work since he has maybe 4 younger siblings to take care of, kind of vibe. He does not have a face of someone who will go whisper to the baby that ‘the Queen does not love you,’ but what is it about love that changes people so much.

While I was pondering, Mina came back.

“You are here? Good job today.”

“Why are you sitting like that?”

“Just wanted to see the stars.”

Mina changed and pulled out the pins that was holding her hair all day. She pulled a chair next to me and sat down.

“Why are you suddenly depressed?”

Yeah, why am I so depressed. Sir Mio is just a character in this novel, so why does he matter with me. I have no life here and I just want to go back home.

“Well, I think love is pretty difficult.”

“Oh~ You are for Sir Mio too?”

“Why bring Sir Mio up suddenly?”

“Everyone is interested in a handsome guy who suddenly appears.”

Unlike me, who was alone in the workplace today yesterday, Mina was in a place to hang out with other ladies. Lucky. I wonder how much stories of Sir Mio they gossiped about.

“And you have no interest?”

“I still am with someone? Maybe?”

“Why do you add that maybe?”

“I think the rules here are absurd. One pass for three months??”

“Well… it’s only until we finish training.”

Although it is a royal palace, I wondered if it was really okay for them to abuse their power like that, but then again the palace doesn’t really abuse their workers. Currently, most of the ladies belonging to the Queen’s Palace were trainees, and they were only allowed to go out once every three months unless there was anything special, until they became full-time ladies.

“I have to wait another month before I can go out… do you think Gerald will be waiting for me?”

Will Gerald be waiting for Mina?

Is my ramen waiting for me?

No one knows that. I shared the shawl I was covering with Mina lying on the windowsill. The sky was high, the stars were high, and the moon was bright.

“Right, Ahsee. The mistress asked me to tell you to go to the nanny tomorrow.”

“Me? Why? I am assigned for the laundry room tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, the nanny was originally Sev, but she rolled up on the stairs earlier and broke her leg. So, the mistress is going to put Sev on jobs where she doesn’t have to walk for a while.”

“Oh my how did she fall. She didn’t get hurt too much?”

Yeah. Pepe pushed her. Nice.”

Mina raised her thumb. I thought Mina and Sev were close. I thought Sev and Pepe were too.

“Uh did Pepe push Mina because she did something wrong?”

“Nope? Oh~ You probably don’t know because you weren’t there earlier.”

“What is it?”

Mina, lying on her sill with her arms down on the window sill, changed her thigh and looked up at me. Mina’s eyes were bright greenish green like new leaves in spring even on a faintly lit night. If I looked at Sir Mio’s eyes after the gloomy shade disappeared, under the bright sun, would his eyes look like Mina’s?

“Sev flirted with the guy that Pepe was seeing.”

“Oh wow.”

“Pepe went out today. When she came back around lunch, she went straight to Sev!”

“How cool of Pepe~”

Compared to thin Sev, Pepe is cute and small, but for Pepe to push her like that it seemed cool. And from what Mina is saying, it doesn’t seem like Sev is seriously injured.

“Probably shouldn’t let Pepe and Sev be in the same area for a while.”

“Yeah. Even the mistress thought that.”

It is quite difficult to hire new people in the palace. I heard that the job position is constantly changing and that if you do something wrong, you may get hurt or die, so most prefer to not work here. Even though it wasn’t a small accident that the maid pushed another maid to hurt her, the mistress could not afford to lose another person.

“Pepe’s boyfriend seemed pretty nice.”

“Even then he cheated.”

“I know. Oh~ I hope Gerald is okay?”

I don’t understand why there isn’t just a happy ending when a person loves a person and that person loves them back. Jurgel and the King’s love is probably a happy ending. But for Sir Mio and Sir Alex who hold forbidden love, would they be satisfied and happy if they met someone else? I wish one person’s name was stamped on a person’s body to determine the love and faith for them. Then, there wouldn’t be love between people without faith.

“Ah… I want some alcohol.”

Beer, I want some beer. I like it mild. I don’t really like the sparkles but I just wanted a cold beer running down my throat.

“Oh yeah? Should we still some from the kitchen?”

“And what if we get caught?”

“If we steal something cheap, we can just say cut our pay for it!”

“Oh respect, Mina.”

“I will be back. Let’s call more people like Ellie and Jesse.”

Quickly, Mina got up, tied up her hair quickly, and put on a shawl. We know where the drinks are since we work in the kitchen as well.

“Bring some snacks too~”

“Tell others to bring the hidden snacks too!”

I was distressed by this world. The sea and the moon did not rise, and no one came to the rescue. I stand alone at the sea without knowing which side the lighthouse is on. In what direction should I row, or am I in the right direction? I am afraid so I can’t row, and now I’m hoping I won’t be wrecked, just floating there.

But the storm did not stop.

Epilogue———————————————————–

I was surprised by today’s best LOLLLLL. I took a screenshot to look back at it occasionally. HAHA

Thank you for pointing out my typo! I tried to make sure, but I still made mistakes L

I know most male characters are ‘in love with Jurgel,’ but there are some that the main character can target and some that she can’t. Even if someone has a goalie that doesn’t mean one cannot shoot! Lollllll.

                  so many bad people out there that you just cannot describe them in words nice than cuss words.

From the first day that I became ‘Ahsee,’ I thought the King was a son of a bitch. Thinking is not a sin and I have always thought that. But now, as I am hugging a bloody body, shaking, I am scared that this is the sin. What is so special about power and that son of a dog King that I have to be shaking in fear doubting my own self.

“Jurgel.”

It was such a warm and heartwarming voice that it gave me shivers. And after that, I trembled so much that my back was trembling and my body was dragged with a back that did not feel like mine. “Clash,” the bloody knife thrashed the floor, and the king stroked Jurgel’s cheeks as if he didn’t care about that.

“I’m sorry the blood splashed.”

Son of a bitch.

I never thought I would be in this situation when I took over nanny work ever since Sav broke her leg. Since there wasn’t much chance for me to take care of the baby, I did fear the unknown. However, if I that I would be in front of someone crying their bloody eyes out, I wouldn’t have been transported when I was making my ramen, but during when I would be texting to make an appointment at a fortune teller place.

The idea of entrusting a baby to unmarried ladies who have never had a child was astounding, but I was glad to know that all I had to do was be besides a nanny who already knew what she was doing. Sleeping baby prince was warm, and I was scared once again because he was heavier than my thoughts. I’ve only held dogs and cats, never a baby as an adult.

The work of a housemaid really fit my aptitude, but I don’t think this taking care of a baby is my thing. I was thinking that I should let the headmistress know that I wasn’t fit for this job and that she shouldn’t assign me to this during a rotation.

In such a sunny, relaxing time, Jurgel came by.

With the King, without any notice.

Was it noisy outside? There was no time to think. As the door spurred, the King came in front of the empty cradle and Jurgel took the baby from my arms. Knights and soldiers followed them.

The King was still young and handsome. When I first saw his face, I thought he was such a beauty, but now that I have seen two other beautiful men, my impression changed a little.

If Jurgel had beauty like the light shining off a mirror, the King had a heavier atmosphere surrounding him. If I was just looking at their looks, Alex is the best looking, and the King was close to the competition. Well, if I had to pick, Sir Alex is my type. Someone who looks like they have a story.

Then, I had a thought.

“Carmen Donna. Is that right? From what I know, the Queen brought you from home.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I have been there since the Queen was a baby.”

I thought peacefully until the king pulled out a knife stabbed the nanny without a flinch with that handsome face of his.

I didn’t realize where she was stabbed because I was standing right behind her, but as I saw the blood drip down, memories of following my mom to the hospital when she was ill flashed before my eyes. There was a needle on the back of her hand and other stuff around her. Some lady complained that it was annoying and pulled the needle out, and right then blood gushed out of her hand and onto the emergency room floor. That instance. That blood. So much of that blood.

“Carmen Donna. I arrest you for having internal connections with the dark witches.”

The King pulled the knife out and stabbed her again. It was about then that I found myself screaming along with the nanny. Her warm and thick blood splashed all over my body and I collapsed as I was backing out.

Like he was doing a boring chore, the King put his foot on the screaming nanny’s soldier and pulled out the knife from her body somewhere. And the blood splashed all over again. Is that knife going to come at me too? No, I cannot scream. He could look at me and stab me. I know nothing about ‘Ahsee’s’ past. I’m scared.

“Take her away.”

The King gave command from a distance. Even though I have only been with her for a couple hours, she just felt like a weak hearted women and now her back had turned red from the blood. Her body was trembling and I don’t know if she was making everything else tremble or if my heart was beating too fast, but I could not look straight at her.

This was my first time seeing something so violent up close. I’ve seen tones of scenes on TVs or monitors of people being hurt, dying, and crying but that wasn’t that big of a deal to me. But I have never experienced anything like this in front of my eyes without any filter. The nanny’s scream sharply increased and I hugged my trembling self. I wish I could get into the rat hole. I want to hide, curl up, and disappear.

Son of a bitch.

I got shivers watching the King touching Jurgel’s face calmly right after destroying a person. I did not expect human rights from this world. And that is why I did not go around on my own trying to look for clues and why I was nice to Jurgel. Wherever I am, whatever I do, the ultimate important thing is that I live.

I smell blood all over my body. I feel like fainting. The nanny could have been innocent, but she could also not been. If she really was guilty, the King might have the right to have done what he is. Is it? That motherfucker has already brought soldiers into the royal palace twice. I’ve only seen it twice, but there was probably more before.

Son of a bitch. If you are that worried that the Queen will use her power in any way, you should just ask a random person from the streets to take care of your son. Or write up a contract and make an actual deal. You have to have a heir, but want to keep your love, so you chose to commit your actions because you are afraid that you will lose your lover? And you have to be so violent? Even if he is young, you are violently killing someone in front of your own son with a knife? I should show him the people that turned into murders because they saw their mom get murdered by someone else in their youth.

The baby prince was still in Jurgel’s arms and he smiled as if what the King was touching was a flower pedal. And then he saw me.

“I just thought she was a housemaid.”

Jurgel was still in a beautiful spring atmosphere, but there was the smell of blood everywhere still and my body did not stop shaking. Jurgel’s footsteps towards me sounded scarier than those of a grim reaper. On his clean shoes, nanny’s blood had splattered all over. I could not look up from those shoes. Jurgel could request me to lick his shoes clean and I would have done it.

I tried pulling the apron with a trembling hand, but there was no clean part to hold with my hand. If you look at a cartoon or a drama, when the heroines were in an emergency, they could rip it off well, but the fabrics here were unlikely to be torn just by pulling.

“You must have been really shocked.”

With one arm holding the prince baby tightly, Jurgel bent down to offer me his other hand. With a slightly embarrassed smile.

Am I shocked? Me? I? Me? Do I look surprised? ME?

“There were potential getaways, so we couldn’t do anything else but a strong enforcement. Were you scared?

Looking at my bloody hands holding onto my clothes, Jurgel softly grabbed my hand and helped me up. Different from his soft beauty, he had enough strength to pull up a girl like me easily. I have to let go of his hand, but I could not let go of Jurgel’s hand because mine was shaking so much. He kept smiling at me with an awkward face.

Will the nanny die? The King said she had a relationship with the dark warlocks. The country was in an unending war with the neighboring country, whose nobles were all warlocks, and if found, warlocks were executed without trial. I don’t know if it’s true or not, even if one doesn’t die right away, they will eventually die.

“Is the maid you said that child?”

“Yes your Majesty. I thought she was just a housemaid.”

Did they talk about me before? About a random ordinary maid like me? Can I know what you guys are talking about?

As the King was busy wiping off the splashed blood off of Jurgel’s face, one of the knights behind him grabbed the knife that was on the floor. One knight cleaned the blood off the knife with a cloth while the other knight was wiping off the blood on the King’s hand. It was already a busy sight.

If I held onto Jurgel’s hand any longer, I felt like the King was going to stab me too so I forced my hand to spread out so I can let go and the King did not look away from me. Then with his hand with some blood still on it, he grabbed my face and looked all over my face.

“Your name?”

“It is ah-Ahsee, your Majesty.”

In this room, I was the weakest and I was the only one shivering in fear. Is there other maids out this door? I don’t know why the Queen isn’t here considering her room is not too far from the baby prince’s room. Like the King said, it’s not like the Queen didn’t know the nanny since they have known each other since the Queen was born.

While I was thinking that, I looked up at him with my shaking chin still in his hand. The king’s eyes were well-polished chestnut brown. Cool and calm, yet a little playful.

As the King slowly opened his mouth, I remembered what I asked my friend a long time ago for some reason.

-When did you know that your life was over?

“I realized that my son’s nanny is now gone.”

And my friend had answered.

-When my SAT score was so low that I couldn’t put it in my applications.

“Seems like you can do the job.”

I don’t know why I suddenly thought about that friend. I was on a call with that friend because her score still wouldn’t improve and she was thinking about switching her career and that was the morning that I turned into ‘Ahsee.’

“Me? Uh, me, I can’t breastfeed…”

The King let go of my chin and took the baby prince from Jurgel. I might not know much, but I know that one shouldn’t hold a baby like that so high with one hand. My body was shaking, but my instinct took over and my body made a motion to take the baby from him.

“It’s been about a month. He doesn’t need breastfeeding.”

With those words, he brought the baby prince into my arms. The baby prince is so clam that he was sleeping so well through all this chaotic events. Meanwhile, the person who took care of him all his life was dead, screaming, in the hands of his own dad. I was so scared, but with the baby in my arms, my trembling started to subside.

“I, I don’t know much about taking care of a baby…”

“Whoever it is, anyone is better than a warlock, to take care of my son.”

The king, who was already interested in me, turned to Jurgel. Jurgel seemed to want to say something to me, but the king pulled him with his hand, and he soon forgot me and walked shoulder to shoulder with the King. The busy knights and soldiers followed them, making the clean areas dirty with blood stains. While was King was walking over the doorstep, it seemed like he stopped briefly, but he continued to walk away with his arm over Jurgel’s shoulder.

Dumbfounded, I looked around everywhere as the baby prince started to cry. Sir Mio, covered in blood, was wiping away the blood with a tired and depressed face. For a second, his gloomy eyes noticed me, but I realized soon that his attention was not on me.

I looked around again at the doorway the King walked out of, and I saw the Queen there. The King probably saw her as the Queen was walking out of the room with her loose long dark hair and a simple decoration like a marble.

“My Majesty.”

I wanted to pass on the baby to the Queen. But as I was about to walk towards her, she lifted her hand to stop me. The prince’s room that was once gorgeous, was not full of human blood all dirty. The Queen scanned the room with her clam eyes, saw Sir Mio last, and walked out of the room.

There is no knight or prince coming to save me or is there anyone coming to pull me out.

Just like that I became baby prince’s new nanny.

Epilogue———————————————

-There’s a new maid in the Queen’s palace. She seems to have a good personality?

-Is she pretty?

-No. She is just good at greetings.

Asking about the tiniest things.

It felt like someone threw an ice-cold balloon on my face. The sudden shock and coldness and flowing from the top of my head to the rest.

The prince fell asleep. Starting tomorrow morning, I have to move to the room next to the prince’s. Why? Because I am the ‘nanny.’

I read ‘Escape’ day by day. Jurgel and King Evans had a lovely and beautiful love scene and it would have been nice to flow with that flow, but despite that he could not overlook the Queen and had to get her involved. At first, I just felt bad for the queen, but as I kept reading, I kept feeling bad for the Queen. Is that why I am here?

Am I punished for having pity on the queen, or did am I sent here to save her from her tragic life? Either way, this is somewhat annoying. Who is going to save me? You have to save your own life.

I guess the rumor spread fast and far. Everywhere I went, I felt the maids murmuring about me, but I did not care. Even if the rumor didn’t spread, people would have been talking about the blood all over my body. I held tight onto my apron and ran straight to my room.

I don’t know if my head is hot or cold. One side felt like I was hit with an ice bucket and the other side felt like it was pushed into a hot tub. I just wanted to scream.

Technically, none of the other maids were off yet, but I decided to excuse myself early fro work today. I can do that. Because the mistress said I can today.

“Ahsee Token.”

After the Queen disappeared, the mistress appeared. Ahsee’s last name is Token. A month since I have been here. Now I know Ahsee’s full name.

She sighed after looking at the bloody room and me with her cold stone eyes and took the baby from me. Because I was holding the baby, the cloth wrapping the prince had bloodstains on it now. She looked at the cloth as if she was looking at something dirty. I was still in panic mode then. Actually, I think I still am.

“Mistress, ma’am. The, the King said I am the nanny.”

“I heard.”

“I-I do not even know how to take care of a child.”

Her look towards me was familiar. It was the look a one gave when she said she was tired of looking after my stupid and careless mistakes that she would rather have me die.

“But you are still the nanny. Since the King has ordered that, you must follow it until you die.”

Anywhere you go, getting jobs through connections will always have bad rumors, it’s unfair. Can you even say I got this job through others? Without my hard work? What did I do wrong. I was just making my ramen. I just wanted to get home safely so I have been trying so hard to fit in as ‘Ahsee’! I was so stressed and always on my toes to not say anything stupid or spill any information while talking to others!

It is clear that the rumor has spread. The path to my room was filled with maids looking at me, but avoiding my eye contact like I was a dangerous chicken. Maybe how I look horrendous right now. I finally climbed the floor of our room, took off my head cap, pushed my finger in my hair, and released my hair like a crazy woman. There was even blood on my hair and it dried up so it wasn’t easy to comb through it.

I opened the door, then closed it. As soon as I sat in front of the console, I opened the drawer and reached out for any blank papers I could reach.

I read the “Escape” day by day. I read it sentence by sentence in the beginning, but towards the end I only looked for pages that had the Queen in it. So I have no knowledge about this world.

It’s not that I have not written out the timeline for other characters in this world, it’s that I couldn’t. Because I do not remember anything!

“Escape” is a novel with high mortality rate. I was afraid, but I was glad because I thought nameless characterless, who play minor roles, would be safe. Think about it. Unless there is a war, most people that die in novels are characters with greater roles.

The paper spread like a fan on the console. With my trembling hand, I took the pen from the dusty corner of the console. As I opened the pen cap, maybe it was my trembling hand, but a couple ink drops fell on the paper. If it was red ink, it would have looked like that nanny’s blood.

… It was weird. When I read “Escape” day by day, every time I ran across the part about the prince, his accessories were a dark eyed Sir Mio and a young nanny. ‘Young’ nanny. One could not say that the previous nanny was young, no matter how one described her. I just thought it was the author’s black humor.

That young nanny was I. Me. Ahsee Token. But still a nameless character.

The feel of the pen nib scratching the paper was eerie. The sound of scraping paper is hysterical. I wrote the names of Evans and King on the paper.

The King is a son of a bitch. Undisturbed and selfish asshole. The nanny was probably guilty. The King will not make up of false accusations to disturb the Queen. He simply leaves her alone and does not respect her authority. And only bother her with a purpose. But since she brought in someone who was working with the warlocks, he did what he had to do.

This could have been done secretly and quietly. He decided to resolve it by spraying blood all over the Queen’s palace. In the investigation that follows, no one will show favor or mercy to the Queen’s family. He is such an asshole with no sympathy.

I wrote the word war under the King’s name. There were several wars in this novel. How many, where was it? I do not remember. Around now is about the time a Count comes back from a war. Afflicted with the birth complex, Jurgel saved him, and the Count helped ruin the Queen’s family.

And there was a few wars after that. In a few wars, Jurgel’s famous sword fighter marquis was also involved. I don’t remember if he died or lived. I just remember that because when he went missing, the Queen’s younger brother kidnapped Jurgel, but a twist plot of him falling in love of Jurgel, was messing with my brain.

Wait no. The important thing was not the war. On a new paper, I wrote Jurgel on top of the King’s. Jurgel mesmerized almost every male character in ‘Escape’. He was an impartial ruler and a ruthless fascinator, and almost all of the men who saw him fell for Jurgel no matter who he loved before. Jurgel’s magic. Even one who was living a loving life with his wife, fell in love with Jurgel, and ruined his marriage.

Then, none of this is Jurgel’s fault. His love was only for King Evans and he was just kind to everyone where. So it is kind of his fault, but not at all his fault. His existence is bad. If he knew that he was flagging into many of people’s lives, he should have kicked the Queen and just never left the palace.

The bloody smell stained on my body. This smell from my body smells like someone’s blood, right? I haven’t been hurt anywhere yet, but will this happen again?

The Queen needs a shield. It would be best if the prince isn’t taken away. If that can’t happen, at least she needs enough power that the King won’t pull out a knife out of nowhere. When the king asked for a prince, even if there was only one desperately opposed to the king, her life didn’t have to go that far. How are you still conscious after taking the tax payer’s money for doing nothing?

Of course most people of higher powers are in love with Jurgel. I hope this country gets destroyed. How is every men in this world gay. No, perhaps the people who fall for Jurgel isn’t gay but just in love with the person Jurgel is so homo might be the better word to describe them.

I stabbed the fountain pen on the paper, alternately looking at the paper with the names of Jurgel and the King. I don’t even know what I am writing. The ink continued to bleed from the area where it touched the pen, and I thought that if I poked that pointed pen tip into my neck for a while, I would be next to the sink with my ramen boiling. My senses were 100% real and I realized that I would die if I actually did that.

The ink kept spreading and I felt like dying.

“I wish I was in Jurgel’s body instead.”

If I were in Jurgel’s body, I would have conquered this world, seriously. Almost all the men, even if unintentional, fall in love with Jurgel, so the deputies and generals of the knights are determined and tempted to bring the King down with my persuasion and I would become King.

In fact, I think that here is the part where the true love of Jurgel and the King are proved. Even though Jurgel could have done it for sure, he did not cause himself to take the place of the royal court, either by rebelling or encouraging ministers to bring down the queen. Instead of becoming an unprecedented male queen, he gave up his pride and became a male concubine to remain with Evans. Their love is not selfish, so why are their surroundings so devastating.

Because I held tightly onto the pen, ink splashed into my hand and it became unsightly. I put down a fountain pen with a sigh and looked at the mirror on the console.

I was there.

Not any better or worse, just my same face.

Is my ramen safe? That was the day my mom was going to dye her hair. I just want to go home. I shouldn’t think this, I really didn’t want to, but I just want to go home. A storm came over my distressed life. I just want to go home, cuddle next to my mom, and hide.

How can a non-pretty woman with no elite background survive in a BL world?

1.Be faithful and loyal to the original story and becomes friends with high officials.

2.Attempt to destroy the original story.

3.Don’t do anything.

I thought deeply about all three options. None of the options seem hopeful. No matter what I thought, the risk of bad dying when I make the wrong choice is too great. There is nothing I can do. I sighed and let go of the pen.

My body is still stained with blood. I should take a shower before Mina comes back. Moreover, burn this paper.

I gathered some clothes to take to the bathroom, and I suddenly thought. I am now the infamous nanny that the King appointed? There is no one that could fire me? It is as if I work in the civil service?

Then couldn’t I start brainwashing the baby prince before Sir Mio does?

That his father is a son of a bitch.

Epilogue————————————————

Thank you to the person for catching my paper errors!

Ahsee isn’t pretty. She is just okay after cleaning herself up. I mean if one is pretty after getting ready, aren’t they just pretty? Ahsee just has a normal face. LOL

There will be no such high-speed promotion again in my life. From apprentice housemaid to formal maid. The salary rose. I am also writing a contract. In addition, I became a semi-noble.

“All the nanny of the royal family are given a semi-aristocratic status. Your situation is a very special case… but you know what this means?”

“Yeah! My rating has risen in the marriage market.”

I know that look. One gave me the look me when I said I didn’t know how to use a printer.

However, assuming that the commoner ‘Ahsee’ becomes a semi-aristocrat, the spouse’s target expands to the level of the knights, so it is also true that the rating in the marriage market rose. The semi-aristocracy itself is only a short-term certificate that cannot be inherited, but it is possible for a spouse to inherit a semi-aristocracy to their children when the spouse also has a semi-aristocracy. So, there is no job to inherit, and the condition of the bride, which is popular among the nobles under the younger son or the knight class who is the same semi-aristocrat, is a semi-noble, but it is not easy for a woman to be a semi-noble. Especially for a younger age range like ‘Ahsee.’

Now my life is unfolding. All the young and good looking knights come after me.

“Now from the moment you sign this contract, I also have to write respect for you and you will take care of your baby’s childcare. I hope you think about it.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t sign it.”

I feel like a special maid. What kind of a King goes out of his way to personally pick his son’s nanny. Without a response, the mistress put down the written contact in front of me.

White was the paper and black was the ink.

‘Ahsee’ was illiterate!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I thought there was nothing more I could be surprised by! No wonder there were no books or words in the room. Then why did she even carry a fountain pen!

Slowly and calmly, I stared at the contract once again. Okay it wasn’t like I was totally illiterate.

…Is… by… must… work…

Okay. I cannot read. I felt the embarrassment I felt when I didn’t do well on my TOEIC test that I couldn’t put it on my application.

“Mistress, ma’am. I don’t know how to tell you this, but.”

“What is it.”

“I do not know how to read.”

Humiliation. I was in the top for languages. I was from a country where illiteracy was infinitely converging to zero, and I didn’t want to say it even if my mouth was torn, but I humbly bowed my head. My fingers are only hanging over my knees, but a heavy silence above my head presses my back to the head. I don’t want to see the face of the mistress now. How pathetic could I look.

“Yes, you were a commoner. Right. That’s right.”

Her word says “right” but her voice did not match. It was like ‘anyone can be like that, but not my person!’ kind of a vibe.

“I don’t know how long you will be baby prince’s nanny, but…”

I hope she doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how long I’ll live.

“One can have disadvantages when taking care of the baby. When the prince is older, we will get him a tutor but for now you must do your job.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll send a teacher to teach you how to read and write.”

It’s been N years since I have gotten my college diploma. I had no motivation to get back in the grind of studying, but I have no choice.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Now sign and you can go on your way.”

With my calmest face, I opened the cap to the pen I brought and asked.

“Where should I sign?”

With a pathetic and disappointed look, the mistress pointed towards the end of the contract.

From dawn, my room was moved to the room next to the baby prince’s room. Mina and Ellie helped me move and tried to cheer me up, but I was in no state of cheerfulness. I am unmarried and unexperienced, so the experienced sisters told me about my future life. The most difficult time is the time before the baby is about 100 days old. Feeding for hours during the day. Bye to my personal life.

People in this world are insane. How can they trust me with the newborn baby. Jobs like this should be given to experienced people. Professionals.

The king, who didn’t know anything, confidently said that it was time end breastfeed in a month, but that is not the case. So, early in the morning, the queen came and fed the baby prince. Even back in the old times with the original nanny, the baby prince was eating both ****** milk and milk powder. ****** milk is three times in the morning, lunch and dinner. The Queen didn’t seem to have sufficient milk.

“I’ve heard your name before…”

“Yes, Your Majesty. It’s called Ahsee.”

“Yes, Ahsee.”

I don’t think the queen knew the names of all the ladies in her palace, but she politely replied. I don’t know if ‘Ahsee’ is a noble, but since she is illiterate and she probably is a commoner.

The queen did not hold the baby prince for a long time. As soon as it seemed to be full, the baby prince put back in the cradle. Only for a few seconds did the prince cry, but soon enough he went back to playing by himself.

“You must have went through a lot.”

As much as I wanted to deny, my mouth would not open. The Queen stood up, looked at Sir Mio standing in the doorway, and turned to look at me again.

“Starting from lunch, I will bring the baby to you. I apologize for not thinking ahead on the first day, my lady.”

The Queen stared at me. The Queen of dark hair and dark eyes was not a glamorous or striking beauty, but she was an elegant beauty with a sweet and calm atmosphere. She was not the striking type but she was a quiet beauty like a water stroke painting. Her beauty is defeated against the sparkling beauty of Jurgel.

“No, you do not have to do that.”

The Queen spoke as calmly as water flow. The Queen and Sir Mio had some similarities. They are both depressing and unfortunate.

“I do not like the smell of a baby in my room.”

I have never had a child, but I knew that the world of mothers who gave birth was rewritten around the child. I know that an unconditionally loving mother is just a fantasy dream, but seeing the Queen so unhappy and hurt after birth made even made my heart ache.

The Queen left without making a single noise and the baby prince started to cry. An older version of the prince won’t remember what happened today. Perhaps the words Sir Mio puts into the baby’s ears aren’t all false. Baby, your mom did not love you and your dad did not care about you. You were born without love. But it is not like every child is born with love, so you were not born that unfortunately.

I held the heavy baby and patted its back a few times for it to calm down relatively quickly. Thankfully, the prince was a pretty calm and collected baby. In the past, before entering school, an aunt who had fought with her uncle had a baby in my house. At that time, the baby did not stop crying and because of that memory, I’ve never liked babies.

Until yesterday, this room was filled with blood. However, there was no sign of blood anywhere. Let along the smell of blood. Whoever cleaned this room must have put in a lot of effort to get everything clean. Just yesterday I was crawled up all shaky in a housemaid dress, but now I am standing here as the nanny of the prince.

With the baby in my arms, I turned around to look straight at Sir Mio. I was looking into those gloomy eyes of someone who I have to be with 24 hours now, including eating, cleaning, and changing clothes.

I wonder how he feels. Escorting the child of his lover’s love. I wonder how he feels about this complex situation that allowed him to see Jurgel more often.

I wonder why he loves Jurgel so much.

“Hello Sir Mio Zodiac. As you know, I am now the prince’s nanny. My name is Ahsee Token, you can call me Ahsee.”

Even though the baby was a little heavy, I held him with one arm and extended my other hand out to him. With his gloomy eyes, Sir Mio looked at my hand, but did not shake it. Not able to hold the baby with one arm for long, I retrieved my hand to use both arms to hold the baby. The baby prince is quite heavy.

He does not love the baby prince. Neither do I. There’s no such joke that one has to take care of the child of someone you do not love.

“Can I call you Sir Mio?”

For the first time, he looked straight at me. If I took one more step forward, I could have seen his eyes reflected by the sunlight, but from that distance one footstep short, he said while looking at the baby and I deeply.

“As you please.”

Thank god. This is the one thing in this world that has gone in the direction I wanted it to.

“Sir Mio.”

“Ahsee.”

We greeted each other awkwardly like those greeting in American movies. We still had a long path to go, but for it being the first step, it was not bad.

Hello, baby. Your dad is a son of a bitch.

Hello, sir. The person you love is a piece of shit.

I will show you through easy repetition on your level.

Epilogue————————————————

The main character is not too young LOL She probably could never get together with the prince haha.

“I am Baron Seya Robin. Nice to meet you, Ahsee.”

He was a pretty young man with light lemon hair and lighter green eyes than Mina. All the doors of the room was closed, but there was a smell of soft grass warmed by sunlight and a fresh wind blowing from somewhere. Perhaps it was because of the color, there was no elf in ‘Escape’ but if there was one, I’m sure this is what they would have looked like, and he reached out and offered me his hand. If I took the hand, I am sure it would have been softer than mine, but my hands were full to take on his offer.

The mistress was always good at accomplishing tasks. Of course, I could tell from just looking at her face. How could she find someone to teach me how to read and write in just a matter of a day. I’m thankful for her for sending me someone who is so young and good looking. I’m sorry for being scared of you because of your books. I still do think you are scary, but you are a good person.

“I don’t have a hand, Seya… Sir? Mr. Seya? No, Baron Seya.”

Thankfully, Seya smiled at me like a flower and I awkwardly smiled back while feeding the baby prince with a milk bottle. There was a time when I woke up, turned on the TV, and just drowned at the fact that my life was going to end. This was not too long ago. If my mental state was exhausted back then, my physical body is exhausted now that I feel like dying. And I am tired. Barely sleeping to take of the prince’s milk meals during night and dawn, it’s only been a day. I cannot do this already.

It’s not like I expected a lot… But I did not think I would also be studying while taking of a baby. Even self-study in the morning or self-study at night was not this harsh. I thought other maids would take care of the baby while I was studying. I did not think I would have to get up earlier than other maids to study. Thanks to that, Sir Mio is also up early and is waiting like a guard back in Joseon Dynasty. The personal life of the baby prince, Sir Mio, or myself is all annihilated.

“I realize you must be tired because it is an early morning, Ahsee. I apologize. I can only do this time because the rest of my day is booked.”

“No don’t worry. I am honored and thankful for your kindness that you took the day out of your time to teach me.”

I looked over as I called him kind. He has a face of someone who could not pull a grass out, but he could be a harsh teacher. Seya was a bureaucrat working in the personnel department of the Royal Palace. He was probably the best person with the greatest background that the mistress could find, and for him to spend his little time with me to teach me how to read and write seemed overdone.

I don’t remember seeing the name Seya Robin in ‘Escape.’ It could be that I just do not remember, but it is even more possible that he was a nameless character because he is a baron with a confusing status. I felt comfortable knowing that I would not have to worry about him falling in love with Jurgel.

The prince drank his milk deliciously, and Seya looked at the prince with his soft eyes. Does he have a child?

“Are you married?”

“Ah? Hahaha.”

With him laughing like that, it reminded me of my first day in high school where the students begged the teacher to spill his love experience. While Seya laughed out loud, I adjusted the baby’s position and started patting his back. I do as much as I know and tell around, but I am worried because I don’t know anything about the baby’s development process or anything like that. I think there should be as assigned doctor for the baby. I say this again, but I do not know how they trust me with the baby. Unless the King had another hidden baby, it would be highly possible that I would be taking care of this prince until the end of ‘Escape.’ I wonder what gut he has only with Jurgel and the Queen.

“I am too young to be married.”

“Oh I see. Then you must like children.”

“Do you not Ahsee?”

No. Never. Ever.

However, since I was already a nanny, I couldn’t answer like that, so I laughed vaguely for him to answer that himself.

“Do you think you can copy the basic letters?”

After a few seconds, he took out a paper with pretty letter written on it and showed it to me. The basic letters of this place looked similar to the alphabet. I don’t know if the pronunciation and function are the same, but the approximation looks similar, and Seya’s handwriting has a neatness resembling his appearance.

“Here are the writing utensils…”

“No worries, I brought my own.”

Babies have to burp after eating, so I have to tap the prince’s back, but the baby prince hasn’t burped yet. Since he has eaten it would be peaceful if he did and slept so I could focus more on studying. My arm started to hurt. I switched the baby onto my other arm and took out the fountain pen from instead of my dress.

I took the cap off with my mouth and tried to copy the pretty letters that Seya gave. Since I was trying to do everything with one hand, it was sad to see that my letters were all squiggly.

“Interesting.”

Seya said on top of my head. I was not happy to hear that. I mean I know it is not the prettiest, but I was trying to write with one hand, and it is my first day… wait no, it’s not even that ugly? But I went back to writing the prettiest letters I can, returned the paper, and closed my cap.

As he was looking over my work, he patted the prince’s back with his other free hand. The prince burped after a few pats. Now, I can lay him down. Wait, can I put him down right away? They said when they burp they have digested. I patted him a few more times and then proceeded to put him back on the cradle.

For a second, it was peaceful in the room. There was a soft noise towards the windows and wind passed by my cheek. My head followed the wind and I saw Sir Mio sitting on the window will with his hair fluffing. With his closed eyes, his gloomy atmosphere disappeared, and I once again was reminded of how handsome he was.

It was an early morning and the sun was still as cold as the moon, and maybe it was because it was the only three of us in here with the baby, Sir Mio looked peaceful. I was too. I sat with one hand on the cradle, leaning back on the chair comfortably. My back was stiff and painful. I stopped breathing briefly due to the pain of releasing the tense muscles.

“There is room for improvement, but the writing is not bad. It seems like you know how to write the basics.”

“Yes. I can read some basic words…. But you should just think that I know nothing.”

“When the prince grows up, he will be assigned a private tutor. Until then, you would probably be charge of teaching the baby the basics. Nothing too advanced or technical, but should we set your goal to be that you should be able to read children’s book to the prince?”

“Yes, Sir Seya.”

“Teacher.”

Seya said again with his soft and kind-hearted voice.

“You can call me teacher for now.”

This should be natural, but I felt like I was listening to something I should not have. Life is so harsh on me, but my body reflected. When I feel like I am fine and I can handle it, my body reacts with hormones of the marriageable age. It’s been too long since I last dated. When I graduated college, it seemed like I also graduated out of the dating life. That was it. My immunity for men is too low.

Out of everyone I met here, Seya is the most gentlemanlike, and he ignored my blushing face for me.

Jurgel is here. He comes here so often. Seya left after about an hour, and the Queen has just came and left. It was around noon. I don’t know how he comes at such perfect timing. There’s probably nothing good that comes out, but I wonder how they react when they see each other.

“Hello, Mr. Jurgel. Isn’t the weather nice today?”

When I think of that day, I still am scared and mad, but the anger demands a lot of energy and I can remember it, but I cannot keep it for a long time. The law is far, reality is close, but his abusive power is the closest. So I treated Jurgel with a great smile like how I would at call centers. However, the expression of veteran infant and toddler maid Eli, who will be in charge of the baby prince with me for a while, was not bright. Don’t look at me like that… I hope you know I am not nice to Jurgel because I’m on some pills or anything.

“Hello? Your name…”

“It is Ahsee, Mr. Jurgel.”

“Right. It was a name like that. Those non-maid clothes look good on you.”

I laughed silently. No matter how much I look at him, he is a shitbag. It was not a compliment in my book to say that I look good in these dark and shabby clothes. ‘Ahsee’ is poor. As one can see, there are few personal belongings, and the greatest being music boxes and a fountain pen. Wait no. I respect her hobbies and personal taste. One must have what they want even if they must starve.

Maybe that was it that these clothes seemed to plain and maybe too tacky that the maid’s outfit with laced aprons seemed fancier than what I had on. Since I was in this world anyways, I wanted to wear a petticoat made of whale bones, hold the bed pillars and tighten the corset. And try wearing a gorgeous dress with heavy laces. I dreamed of putting my hair down, twisting it, braiding it, putting on a ribbon, putting on lace, wearing jewelry, and play dress up doll.

“Our baby. Hi?”

I don’t know what Jurgel contributed to the process of the birth of the baby prince, so I don’t know what the modifier ‘our’ was, but I hope it’s just ‘our’ as in everyone’s. He pulled the baby out of the cradle, where he was playing well by himself, and brought him into the sunlight and began patting his back.

My first memory is my 4 year old self playing with worms in the front yard. So the baby prince probably won’t remember this. But if he did remember this time when he was older, would the prince remember Jurgel who used to sing to him often while holding him in his arms or would he remember the Queen who fed him three times a day? And which one would be more happier memory to him? Jurgel, not haven given the birth, looked so peaceful and happy while the Queen, who did give birth, looked miserable and like someone who has already lived their life.

Am I happy? Is Sir Mio happy? I am aware that Sir Mio volunteered to become the baby prince’s escort. The King received several talented applications from the knights, and he chose the best one out of all of them. Perhaps he applied in hopes to see Jurgel, even from far away, but is his wish even fulfilled?

Over Jurgel’s shoulders, I stared at his dark eyes.

Each one of us is unhappy for our own reasons. So in order to not look at our miseries, we set small goals and run to them with our head down.

My first goal is to give a name to the baby prince. How does it make sense for the prince to not have a name for a month now? Am I the only one finding this weird? The prince should have a name before they bring in another person to take care of him.

Epilogue————————————

Quest: Get a name and a doctor.

I also don’t have any parenting knowledge so this is hard. (*insert crying face*)

I was originally great at short term goals. If I set my average SAT score goal to the next level, I would have achieved it. Well I hated learning English, and I hate having to learn something new right now, and I hate the fact that it was English that would have improved my SAT score. I had to tell myself repeatedly to stay motivated.

Like right now.

“Mr. Jurgel, it seems like you really like the child.”

“Really? Does it seem like that?”

“Yes, sir. You have been singing to the baby.”

Jurgel smiled like a flower.

Ellie took a step away from me. Her expression probably was like one watching someone eat some dog poop found on the ground. It’s okay. The only thing distinguishing the truth from a lie was a sheet of facial expression, and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to live.

On top of that, it’s not like I said anything false. I can see how much a person likes a person from their actions and I was just saying it. It was not hurting anyone. Sometimes I went outside without washing my hair for more than three days, but when I went to see someone I really liked and loved, I was in a hurry to go to the beauty salon and pay to get my hair shampooed.

So no matter what intentions Jurgel has, I believe there is some kind of love Jurgel has to constantly visiting the baby prince.

“I really like you. I’m glad you are the nanny.”

I laughed obediently.

“My name is Ahsee Token, Mr. Jurgel.”

“Ahsee Token. I will remember that this time.”

“Thank you.”

The King is a son of a bitch and Jurgel is also a shitbag. Jurgel has heard of my name at least 3 times and he did not remember once. He personally asked twice and once was when the King asked and he was right next to him. This was the fourth time.

“It’s a good thing the baby is calm.”

“You are right. I think he has Evans’ personality.”

Ellie, not able to manage her face expression, took one step farther and the angle I was looking at Sir Mio from between Jurgel’s shoulder and neck went up and down.

Jurgel is the only person who calls the King by his name- Evans. Of course the King probably gave Jurgel permission to call him his name, but for everyone else listening to Jurgel call the King, Evans, we have to bow down. Even the Queen. I am not sure how precious the name is.

“Do you and the King call the baby, baby?”

“What else would we call the baby?”

Laughing, Jurgel asked again while tilting his head. His smile was as pretty as a white flower that just bloomed in the lake.

“I was just wondering if you guys called the prince the same name that we do.”

Jurgel still had a beautiful face, but it stung my heart a little. Thoughts weaken me. If I think, I hesitate, and when I hesitate I doubt. So when I have to say something I try to say it before I overthink, but I think I spoke too fast for my brain this time.

Did he catch on? Is my intention too obvious?

Jurgel’s fingers touched the closed window. As if it was waiting, as soon as he opened the window, warm wind gushed through. The wind blew Jurgel’s blonde hair as well as Sir Mio’s, who was watching Jurgel. Ellie strapped the ribbon on her hat tighter and I held down my dress.

Jurgel was singing. With one hand he cupped over the prince’s ear and lowered his voice so the song he was humming turned into a song with lyrics.

The voice of Jurgel when singing was a beautiful voice with a higher, richer sound than when he spoke. It was not a voice of a singer or a professional, but somewhat similar. His voice felt like a soft blanket that one would put on before they go to sleep. There is usually a peak point in a slow song, but at the peak, Jurgel gave the baby a kiss on the forehead and put him back in the cradle.

“Ahsee.”

“Yes, Mr. Jurgel.”

“If you need anything for the baby, let me know.”

I am a woman who doesn’t know how to refuse.

“The baby prince’s name and a doctor.”

Jurgel already read my intentions. I can pretend to be sloppy and try again next time and wait for the right timing, but I know my will and courage will disappear first while waiting for it.

“I did not think you were going to say that.”

“Didn’t you just tell me I could?”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to say anything.”

I looked at the ground again as I heard him say ‘I saw you again, Ahsee-’ Yes, I am a woman of character. I am full of surprises that you will never get bored of my unique character like a reality show.

“However, the baby’s name is up to his parents. It’s something the Queen and King should do.”

I was shocked! For such logical statement to come out of Jurgel? It is common sense that the parents do name the babies, but there are times that other people like nannies and other caretakers pitch in ideas, but I never thought that Jurgel thought like that.

“And the doctor…”

He looked down and stared at the sleeping baby prince in the cradle. Due to that, my eyes met with Sir Mio’s, who was behind Jurgel. That was weird. I wonder why he is depressed right now.

“Would the Queen easily accept a doctor I send?”

“There is no mother who would not be happy for the sake of their children.”

“It seems like you don’t know the alertness of mothers with young children.”

Jurgel put out his hand to stroke the baby prince’s round and soft cheek without actually touching it. His gestor was smooth and his eyes were soft, but because of his words, I was surprised like he was going to scratch the baby with his nails. As I jumped out of startle, he looked at me and nodded.

“But you do make a point. The baby needs a lot of people to take care of him, and you are… still very young.”

To hear that from Jurgel, it felt weird. In this situation, hearing that I was young was equivalent to hearing that I was not trustworthy. I wasn’t going to argue that. A nanny job should be given to someone with greater experience. I still am scared whenever I have to hold the baby prince.

To be honest, there were times where I pondered what the King would do to me and the Queen if I ever made a mistake when taking care of the prince. Since I had to be awake all night exchanging the prince’s diaper and feeding him, I had a lot of 3am thoughts. Those are the times where thoughts are most sensitive and I even got depressed.

The King is definitely not an idiot, and not someone who would make decisions out of the whim or impulsively. So for a person like that to choose me as the nanny, he should probably have a reason.

No matter how much I try to remember, I don’t remember what happened around this time. The baby prince was born. Now a father, the King was nonchalant towards the prince while Jurgel adored baby prince. And things happened as the war ended, a lot of people returned. And then in the after party, the prince’s name was determined.

Ugh. How much longer until then? I cannot tell how long something is when I am reading about it. If I knew I would have been in this situation I would have read that book line by line and memorized everything like I was taking the SAT.

I took a quick scan around. Ellie was already far away and Sir Mio was already distanced away, standing like a displayed flower in the room. The maids and knights Jurgel brought could not enter the room, so if we spoke quietly enough, no one would hear.

Mr. Jurgel, I said in a low voice and he tilted his head a little for me.

“Do you really call the baby, the baby when you are with the King?”

Once he heard me, Jurgel took a half step away from me. He looked at me slowly with his dark, black eyes. The door was still wide open and Jurgel had a knife on his waist. The knights were right outside with swords in their hands. They watched our every move. He waved at one of them that he was leaving. Seems like he is not going to answer my question.

“I will talk about a doctor to the King. Babies are pretty fragile.”

Heck yes. Got a doctor.

As he stood right in front of me, his sight was set maybe a palm length or higher than me. It seemed like he was in a pretty good mood. I always thought he was always in a happy and good mood, but this feeling was weirdly different. It was more like an excitement in his eyes that made it seem like the shining sea.

“I will tell you one secret.”

I smelled something good. His breathe came near my ears and Jurgel’s hair, up on his tall neck and collarbone, tickled over me.

As if he was telling me a deep, dark secret, Jurgel said something that I would have never thought, in a soft, quiet voice.

“Evans actually really likes his son.”

Epilogue————————————————————–

Thanks to those who helped with the lack of parenting knowledge. I make sure to save them. I feel like the world has evolved to the point that there has been great baby formulas that there is no need for breastfeeding anymore. Lolllll. I also think that the Queen is someone who lacks breastfeeding. Lmaooooo. I apologize my lady.