Oolong

 "Hiyori!"

  "Yes, boss?"

  "Take this to the back room."

  "On it, boss."

  I pick up the box of tea satchels and make my way carefully to the back of the store, dodging customers and my fellow part-timers.

  My name is Hiyori Chiba, sixteen years old, and I work at The Flowering Tea Emporium. It's a big name for such a hole-in-the-wall place. In fact, it's a big name for a place in danger of going under.

  The rest of the day goes by without a single problem. Everyone is polite. Everything is run-of-the-mill ordinary. It's so boring, I could die. Let me die.

  I've always had a plan: when I graduate, I'm going to join the police force. So why am I working in a tea shop? Because girls have gone missing lately and the only common denominator is this store. The police are starting to give up, but I won't. I'm determined to start my career before I even join the force by cracking the case wide open.

  "Hiyori."

  "Yes, boss?"

  "Have this oolong before you leave."

  "Thank you."

  Even though I want to get home as fast as possible, it would be rude to refuse. I pensively watch the steam rise from the cup and then check my reflection inside the darkish liquid.

  Looking good, Hiyorin, I tell myself.

  "Looking good, Hiyorin," my reflection repeats in a distorted voice, its mouth moving to match the words. It smiles, even though I'm frowning.

  What?

  I look around for the person pulling my leg.

  "Boss?"

  No answer.

  "Boss?"

  The shop is entirely quiet. I can't even hear his footfalls. All of the other employees must have gone home already. The walls are closing in—

  No matter how I look at it, the room is contracting. My teacup rattles on the table, but it makes no sound. I try to speak, but now even my own words can't be heard. My body is sluggish when I try to stand up. Surely the tea was drugged and I'm inhaling the fumes of it and hallucinating. That no-good boss, I should have suspected him from the start!

  My stomach does a barrel roll and light flashes before my eyes, the walls becoming too bright as they move ever inwards. I'm going to be sick.

  The last thing I recognize before I pass out is the smell of the oolong tea I never had a chance to take a sip of.

***

  "Welcome. Are you awake?" an unfamiliar voice asks me.

  I yelp and jump back in surprise, sinking further into the comfortable couch I've been placed on. The person who spoke to me, if you can call them that, has purple skin, mismatched blue and red eyes, and two horns poking out of their head. They're dressed in an immaculate suit, like some kind of butler.

  "I'm not awake," I tell them. "I'm still hallucinating."

  "It's only natural to be wary of a new world," they say. Their voice is soothing. I still can't tell if they're a man or woman, but I doubt that's important. "But consider yourself lucky! You've been summoned by His Majesty."

  "His Majesty?"

  What kind of bullshit is this? A cosplay cult?

  "His Majesty, the Demon Lord of Camellia, the one and only Lord Sinensis."

  "Okay. I'm going to close my eyes," I tell them, "And when I open them again, I'm going to be on a car driving back to The Flowering Tea Emporium or I'm calling the police."

  "A car, my lady?"

  "A car. A train. An airplane." I speak through gritted teeth. "I don't care what it is. However I got here, do the same thing to get me back."

  "I'm afraid I can't do that," they say.

  "Why not?"

  "Because His Majesty would be displeased. And... the summoning spell only works one way."

  Summoning spell?

  Wait, why am I wasting my time with this? I'm not restrained in any way. I pull my cell out of my pocket and prepare to dial the police, but there's no reception. Shit.

  "The others had those strange devices, too. What are they?"

  "My cell phone?"

  "Is that what it's called?"

  "It's... a cell phone," I answer flatly.

  This cosplay freak can't be real.

  "What does it do?"

  "You use it to make calls, access the internet..."

  As I explain, there's only confusion in those mismatched eyes. Which color eye is the real one and which is a contact, I wonder? It's really high quality if I can't tell from up this close.

  "Forgive me. I don't understand a word."

  "Aren't you a little too old to be playing games like this?"

  They look taken aback. "I am not more than two hundred and fifteen."

  "Like I said, too old—Two hundred and fifteen?" I rub my temples. "Okay. I'll bite. Give me the bullshit story and I'll escape later, when I've found the other girls."

  "I don't know how you know about them, but the other girls have all elected not to stay with His Majesty. They received a small sum of gold and were sent out into the world."

  "Of course I know about them. It's all over the news. Your little cosplay ring is going to get caught once I get reception and can call the real cops."

  "Cops. Yes, they did mention something about those, too. One of them explained the concept to me as law enforcement. I'm afraid they have no jurisdiction on this plane of existence."

  I shake my head. This weirdo... They have an answer for everything. I have to keep pressing and they'll drop the act eventually.

  "And what plane of existence is that?" I ask.

  "Camellia, as I said. His Majesty Sinensis has brought most of it under his control."

  "And you... work for him?"

  "I am sworn into his service, as are all demons."

  "You're a demon."  "What else would I be?

  "A human with an overactive imagination." I sigh. I don't think I'm going to be getting anywhere with the way things are going. "Let me change the question. Can I ask your name?"

  "Lavender," they answer. "Head butler of His Majesty's castle, in charge of waking guests and bringing them to his tea room."

  "Wait, what?"

  "I did not tell you? You are here to have tea with my master. I assume you like it; that would be why we summoned you from the teacup."

  "I like tea well enough," I answer. "But you summoned—kidnapped me to have tea with the demon lord?"

  "He does not get many visitors, and one can only have the same partners so often before the act becomes old. He grows weary of us demons and likes the variety that humans provide him. In a way, I am jealous. I have not taken tea with the master in a year."

  A year. That's about how long the first girl has been missing. But if they were set free after having tea with this "demon lord", what stopped them from going back home?

  "Here," Lavender says, extending a hand to me to help me off the couch.

  I look around the room. Gaudy paintings of demons decorate the walls. There's a desk and chair in one corner. It's actually rather small.

  "I don't need—" I lurch to my feet and, immediately, vertigo takes hold. "Help."

  Lavender grips my hand with their own and it's inhumanly cold. I can't help but shiver. "My lady, let me assist you."

  Until I can find out what's going on from the leader of this cult, I might as well play along.

  "Fine. You may assist me."

  "It's good to see that you are cooperating." Lavender smiles, revealing fangs. "Would you like to change into the garments we have prepared?"

  Like hell I want to wear your stupid cosplay, I don't say. Instead, I force a smile. "Let's see those garments."

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**Blend

  Lavender, still taking me by the hand, leads me down a long hallway and into a large bedroom. On the bed, a frilly green dress is laid out with some jewelry.

  "Is it to your liking?"

  "Of course," I laugh, inwardly cringing.

  "Then I shall be back in twenty minutes. Please, if you need any help before that, ring the bell for assistance. One of the maids will be with you immediately."

  It's so much easier to understand if I think about it as going undercover on my first day as a private detective. The dress is nice, really, but I've always been embarrassed to wear girly clothes. I even still wear shorts underneath my school skirts.

  Does this room have any hidden cameras? I can't take the time I need to search properly, but giving it a preliminary once-over doesn't make anything suspicious stand out.

  I take my work uniform off and put on the dress, feeling stupid the whole time. Is this why the girls never came back? Did they die of embarrassment first, for having gone along with a cosplay cult's weird antics?

  I catch sight of my reflection in a mirror and gasp. I look like a noblewoman out of some fantasy world, even with my hair in its ponytail. What an amazing piece, to transform someone so thoroughly—

  There's a knock on the door. "My lady? Are you finished changing?"

  "Yes." I'm also embarrassed at how my voice trembles when I answer Lavender's summons. "I'm ready."

  "As is Lord Sinensis." Lavender holds out their arm for me to take, like I'm really some kind of noblewoman. "Will you allow me to lead you to the tea room?"

  "Of course, Lavender." Shit, I didn't mean to call them by name. That implies a familiarity and willingness to go along with their delusions that I definitely don't have. "We don't want to keep His Majesty waiting."

  "Very true. You have not seen his temper." Lavender grimaces. "And I hope you never have to."

  An ill-tempered boss? Now the plot thickens. I can feel the weight of the borrowed necklace around my neck like a noose. I'm being led to the slaughter, for sure. And there had been no place to stash my cell phone, so it lay on the drawer next to the bed.

  Lavender knocks once, twice, upon an imposing door. "Your Majesty. Your partner has arrived."

  "Send her in," a surprisingly reedy voice instructs from within.

  A man sits at a small table with two ornate chairs. There are two empty teacups at each place setting, and a silver teapot in the center. It's all very European.

  "I am the Demon Lord Sinensis," the man announces, standing up and giving a slight bow. "Thank you for traveling from your world to mine."

  He doesn't look like a Demon Lord. Unlike Lavender, his skin is a normal tan shade. He has no horns. His hair and eyes are black. He looks like he could be one of my classmates.

  "I had no choice in the matter, Your Majesty," I answer with a smile to offset the sarcasm in my voice. "I was pulled here against my will."

  "But here you are, dressed up and ready for tea."

  "I wanted to get close to you to ask you: what happened to the other girls? What is this place? You don't really believe all of this crap, do you?"

  He laughs. It's a skeevy sound. "Lavender, dismissed."

  "My lord?"

  "I can handle one girl. Don't worry."

  "I'm right here," I point out, but the two ignore me.

  "If you insist," Lavender says, bowing and leaving us to our... tea.

  "As you may have guessed, I am no more demon lord than you are the summoned hero," Sinensis says. "But please, sit down so I can explain."

  His whole bearing changes. The regal attitude he was putting on for Lavender gives way to the careless air of a schoolboy. He puts his feet up on the table, rattling his teacup and shaking the rest of the glassware.

  "I was summoned here, to Camellia, to defeat the Demon Lord. They told me I could go home once he was defeated. Nobody thought it was possible, but I did it – and found out that the summoning spell only works one way. I became the new Demon Lord to cure my boredom."

  This makes less sense than before. But he continues to speak.

  "I've missed Japan, and I've been trying to find someone to be my partner in ruling this world. A date over tea seems as good a way as any to get to know the girls I summon, doesn't it?"

  "You absolute dickhead. Who's going to believe a story like that?" I glare at him. "Like kidnap victims are just going to join you in your weird little cult. I don't know where you found this mansion or these lackeys to go along with you, but you're coming with me. I'm making a citizen's arrest."

  "I'm afraid that's impossible."

  The bolt on the door slides shut without anyone touching it. The second chair moves out from the table, almost invitingly. This all seems to be happening in response to him waving a finger in the air.

  "The summoning spell," he repeats, "Only works one way. You're in another world whether you believe it or not."

  "Tell that to the judge." I've always wanted to say that.

  But I fly forward into the chair against my will, too, as if wrapped around that waving finger.

  "At least listen to me for a little while," Sinensis says. "I've been looking forward to sharing this blend with someone all day."

  He's kind enough to pour me a cup. I pray the smoke will be drugged, just like the cup of oolong from earlier today, and I'll wake up on the floor of The Flowering Tea Emporium, but nothing happens. I'm just staring at my reflection and it's not moving back.

  "Okay." I don’t have a choice in the matter, so I might as well get the whole story so I can recite it to the police later. "Shoot."

  "Now, now," he says. "I don't even know your name."

  "Hiyori Chiba. The girl who's going to take you down. Don't forget it."

  He laughs, and laughs...

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Cornflower

  "In turn, let me properly introduce myself."

  Sinensis finally takes his feet off the table and stands up. He's wearing perfectly-tailored Victorian noble cosplay. I almost believe he's been parading around as lord of this manor.

  "Kagami Nakamatsu, nineteen, Demon Lord." He laughs bitterly. "I was sixteen when I was summoned here by the famous mages of Camellia. I never had the chance to graduate high school or go to college. Instead, I was thrown into the peoples' war against the former Demon Lord."

  How much of this bullshit does he believe and how much is a perfectly-crafted eighth-grade delusion?

  "I was the fifth hero. All of the others had died. Nobody had high hopes for me. But they gave me a magic sword and some basic training, and I surprised all of them by taking him down. The mages were forced to admit they thought the Demon King would have a portal home to our world, or that they thought I'd want to rule some duchy as a titled noble for the rest of my life."

  Kagami paces across the room. He's getting agitated like a common crook about to be busted. I can probably use this to my advantage.

  "I found out that the Demon Lord was getting his power from a magic stone and took it for myself. It turns out, if you have it, lesser demons don't question your authority. That, coupled with what I knew from living in a modern world, gave me the leverage I needed to start reforming the country. Nobody was happy about that, so they started calling me the new Demon Lord."

  "So," I found myself asking, "Why haven't the mages summoned anyone to defeat you?"

  "Oh, they have. But I'm not into guys. I send them away after I defeat them."

  "And you summon girls for... blind dates over tea?"

  "Precisely." He takes a seat again. "The girls from this world are all terrified of me, and even if I found one who wasn't, it's not like she'd have the same upbringing. How do I relate to someone who's never used a smartphone? Who's never been stuck on a crowded train?"

  "I'm sure you'd figure something out. Now, where do you send them? To the same place as the girls?"

  "I give them all a small living wage and send them off to town. Nice and simple. They rarely come back for more."

  "You're surprisingly honest for a kidnapper. If you set them free, how come they've never returned home?"

  "The summoning spell only works one way," Kagami repeats, losing his cool. "You're not going to trip me up or catch me in some kind of lie. It's real. You saw Lavender. They're a bonafide demon. You've seen me use magic twice already, and I'll use it as many times as it takes to convince you that you're not dreaming or hallucinating."

  He holds up a finger to his lips like he's telling a secret, then blows on it, producing a blue flame that dances at its tip. He flings it across the room, where it hovers over my teacup, illuminating the liquid inside. When he snaps, it disappears.

  I'm about ready to accept that this is another world, but like hell I'm going to let him know that. I refuse to believe that the spell was a one-way door. There has to be something that someone isn't seeing. Lost in thought, I barely notice when he starts speaking again.

  "Now, would you like to get to know each other a little better, Chiba?"

  "I know you about as well as I'll ever want to," I answer stubbornly.

  "At least don't let your tea get cold. I can't stand to see it go to waste." Kagami sighs. "I had hoped this time would be different, but I'm starting to lose faith. Nobody from our world has any ambition."

  "I have plenty of ambition. To become a cop and haul your *** off to jail."

  "Cool it with that justice boner. You're worse than the NEET I summoned. She was a total babe, but a nerd through and through."

  "Don't talk about girls like they're pieces of meat."

  "Whatever."

  "Don't you whatever me. Apologize."

  He waves a hand in front of his face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Now, will you drink up already?"

  "How do I know it's not poisoned? How do I know you haven't snuck a love potion in it?"

  "And ruin a perfectly good cup of tea? Come now, you have to expect better of someone in my position. If I wanted to drug you or keep you here by force, I could have cast any number of spells while you were unconscious and recovering from the summoning." He leers. Gross. "I could have had Lavender bring you here in restraints."

  "Point taken." I frown. "Send me to the other girls, then, Demon Lord."

  "I think I could really come to like you. Are you sure?"

  "Positive. And I'd like my old clothes back, too."

  "But you look so good in—"

  "Nakamatsu."

  He freezes. Maybe he's not used to people calling him by name. Maybe he forgot he came clean about it already.

  "Forget my name," he says in a deeper voice than he's been using. "If you'll treat me as the Demon Lord Sinensis, then that is who I will be to you."

  "Sinensis," I repeat. "Suits you just fine. You're no more the human kid who was summoned here than I'm the type to give up."

  He rings a bell and, within moments, there's a knock at the door.

  "Enter."

  Lavender comes in. "My lord."

  "Take her back."

  "Another disappointment?"

  "Do not presume to know anything, Lavender. Simply obey me and take her back."

  "Apologies, my lord." Lavender extends a hand to me, clearly displeased. "My lady, if you will."

  I kick myself out of the chair, cross the room, and take that icy hand. Demon or not, at least they're treating me with respect.

  "When we meet again, I'll have a sword to your throat and a gateway to Earth prepared." I can't resist a final jab at the so-called Demon Lord. "I won't forgive you so easily, Sinensis."

  He smiles wryly. "You can try, Chiba."

  And with that, I'm being led to the room with my old clothes. I'm given the privacy to change back and, when I'm done, a new demon arrives at the door. This one has blue skin, pale as frostbite, and pointed ears. She's wearing a traditional maid uniform.

  "I'll escort you to the carriage," she says in a voice so quiet I almost don't hear her. "It will take you to town, where you will fend for yourself."

  "Thank you."

  She doesn't take my hand, but simply turns on a dime, heels clicking against the floor, and instructs, "Follow me."

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