BTS: Where I First Fell In Love (Vminkook)
                                                        Disguise!
                    
        A beautiful woman, dressed in a feathery white dress, sprinted elegantly out of her bedroom.. Her servants followed on her heels, scared and nervous..
 
        The woman was like the snow of spring, her beauty was impeccable and spotless..she walked with grace and dignity but her eyes could tell she was deeply sad
 
        The woman took fast steps as if to hide the uneven drumming of her heart beats.. she looked nowhere but straight.. and anyone who saw her dared not look her in the eyes, too scared to be trapped in that beauty..
 
        She was like the every tale of princesses which are usually beautiful and fierce - a combination best suited for a kingdom..
 
        She heard one of her servants from behind her
 
        Servant: My princess, please slow down.. the king will be angry if you leave the palace
 
        The princess scoffed at her words.. she was angry but she needed to hold her poise even in a distress situation..
 
        
        Solar 
The king will have to understand if he wants me to listen to him..
 
        The servant begged because it was her job to keep the princess in her room.. and she failed at it.. which was not really her fault because who could deny the princess who is also the soon-to-be-queen of this kingdom
 
        Servants: Please, princess..the king is already furious on you.. And the last thing you want is to be married to some king of another land
 
        Solar stopped on her tracks and turned to her angrily..
 
        
        Solar 
I will kill myself first if he dared to give me away with someone that I don’t love
 
        The servant looked helpless and so did the others too
 
        Solar turned elegantly and marched ahead once again
 
        She walked out of the higher pillars of her kingdom and reached at the backside of the palace
 
        Her eyes melted immediately at the sight of her love..
 
        The man whom she truly loves stood before him on a royal horse.. solar’s heart did a black flip.. the mere sight of her lover was enough for Solar to melt down every lava inside her
 
        Solar took a deep breath and sprinted again towards the horse on whom her love is seated
 
        
        Solar 
Why would you deny father’s conditions.. don’t you want to marry me..
 
        Solar looked helpless and her doe eyes blinked her tears away..
 
        These tears are like the pearls of this kingdom.. they are never to be shed but stayed hidden in the deepest treasure of the palace.. the princess was like a icy snow.. her beauty ethereal.. she could melt a war by just her smile but right now all she can do is let her tears drop like glassy diamonds
 
        Her love showed no expression.. he was angry, it was evident.. he was always strict, something that Solar always admired.. his lover was always the best meaning of a man for her.. he nurtured her like the perfect streams of rivers that met with the ocean..
 
        
        Solar 
Why would you hurt your love like this? (Deeply pained)
 
        
        Solar 
Talk to me Lee Sunwoo
 
        Solar looked angry as hell if she used the full name of her lover..
 
        Sunwoo sighed and came down of the horse
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You ask me to accept your father’s conditions when you know they are like a sharp knife to my pride..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I don’t feel the need to be your kingdom’s slave just to marry you..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Your father wants me to leave my home.. my family.. he wants me to behave like a King so that I look better beside you..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
That’s a bargain which I am not ready to pay
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
My pride doesn’t allow it, princess
 
        Sunwoo looked expressionless..
 
        Solar bursted into more tears
 
        
        Solar 
What about me then?
 
        
        Solar 
Don’t you want to stay with me.. you promised me that we were forever..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I have loved you with the most sincerity of my life
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You are my pride as well
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
And I want to marry you like a proper man.. bring you to my home.. to my family.. so that we can all be a happy family
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
But your father wants to rule me.. he wants me to be a puppet
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Lee Sunwoo will never be a puppet
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
My love is not weak, my princess
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
My love for you is great and that is why I am able to hold my ground
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I will not bow before your father’s petty demands.. If he wants a ruler for his kingdom then he can choose anyone he wants.. but he can’t threaten me because I love you
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
As the law of nature abides, you should wed to me and come to my home
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Leave this life of richness
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
That’s what will make our love great
 
        Solar whimpered and hid her face in her palms as she cried
 
        Sunwoo sighed and hugged her instantly..
 
        Solar felt goosebumps on those words which were whispered in her ears effortlessly and truthfully
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I will wait for your decision my princess
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You have to choose between your kingdom and me
 
        Sunwoo let go of Solar and turned to walk away
 
        Sunwoo turned at a little distance and stared at his love
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
So beautiful
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You must choose
 
        The voice of the director echoed on the set..
 
        Production team that stayed silent as two amazing and talented actors played a glimpse of a movie, came out of their respective place and started to prepare for another scene
 
        A robe was placed on both Solar and taehyung’s back.
 
        The actress smiled at taehyung who smiled lightly
 
        
        Solar 
Always such an honour to work with you Taehyungshi
 
        Solar said with a sweet and yet so confident tone
 
        Taehyung smirked and spoke in his deep raspy voice
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Likewise Solar..
 
        They both bowed to each other and turned.. going back to their respective changing room..
 
        They changed into different clothes the entire day, preparing and shooting for various scenes of a movie in which they both are playing lead roles
 
        This wouldn’t be the first time they both have been casted together
 
        It’s all in their chemistry that leads many directors wanting to make a film or advertisement or even kdramas with them
 
        They both are highly professional
 
        But they weren’t famous for acting to begin with.. Solar here is the former leader and singer of a K-pop girl’s group called “mamamoo” after the girls turned the age of 28 they decided to disband and pursue their dreams as a soloist
 
        Solar still sings but she mainly focuses on her acting career.. she is now 33 years of old.. it’s because of her dedication towards acting and work, Solar is one of the most preferred actress.. she is talented and has unique touch to her acting skills
 
        Her co-star in the current movie.. is none other than Kim Taehyung.. a former vocalist, producer, song writer of the once upon a time most famous k-pop boy band group “BTS”
 
        Taehyung quit BTS four years ago.. at the age of 30, that was also the time he finished his second term with the k-pop group owner Big Hit
 
        Now at the age of 34, taehyung has completely dedicated himself towards his acting career - something that he was good at apart from singing..
 
        Unlike Solar who at least has some music labels after leaving her group, taehyung on the other hand has stopped singing and it feels like forever now for his fans
 
        Taehyung has closed every connection with his passion “music”..
 
        He was already praised for a supporting role in a famous drama called “hwarang” when his BTS career was on the rise
 
        Why did taehyung leave his music? There is a deeper reason to it
 
        Taehyung comfortably sat on a chair before a mirror which was covered in bright tube lights.. makeups and other accessories had covered the table.. he stared at himself in the mirror, as the makeup artists removed his makeup..
 
        He stays blank the entire time
 
        Tomorrow the same routine will begin on another location
 
        As he was getting ready to head home.. he heard a knock on his changing room door..
 
        Solar walked in, all dressed in a casual outfit.. she was ready to leave for home..
 
        
        Solar 
You were just amazing today.. I always admire the way you act.. you’re such an inspiration taehyungshi
 
        Taehyung smiled at her from the mirror.. honestly, he was such a good disguise that people stayed oblivious to the dullness in his eyes
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You were great too Solar.. it was always fun to work with you..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Are we all set for tomorrow
 
        
        Solar 
Yes we are.. it’s an early morning shoot.. and seriously I am so tired
 
        Taehyung usually doesn’t like people blabbering too much with him.. it bores him greatly..
 
        But Solar was different.. he respected her a lot in the industry.. because she was just too good.. also among the very few with whom taehyung at least was comfortable in doing intimate scenes
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Well.. we should treat ourselves with something tasty once the shoot gets over
 
        Solar nodded lightly, agreeing to taehyung
 
        
        Solar 
Speaking of treat..
 
        
        Solar 
How would you like if I give you a treat..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Is it a stunt for the paparazzi?
 
        Well, they have worked together so much that everyone is almost shipping him with her.. they do make a good pair but both Solar and taehyung are clear about each other’s feelings for each other.. and it’s completely professional maybe a little friendship is there in it too but mostly it’s work life
 
        They both have helped each other from the constant gaze of the paparazzis trying to find something against them
 
        
        Solar 
No.. it’s not for the medias.. the director has already planned something juicy and big for it
 
        
        Solar 
It’s for my friend’s birthday party..
 
        
        Solar 
Apparently she has decided to propose her boyfriend
 
        
        Solar 
And she wants everyone to be there
 
        
        Solar 
She invited me but since I am single I don’t want to go there and be their gossips
 
        
        Solar 
They always have a problem with a single confident woman
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
There’s still 10 days left
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Maybe I might propose you before your friend does that to her boyfriend
 
        Solar laughed loudly.. she always  liked taehyung’s humour.. he would always have a blank expression everytime he said something funny and that was just the bestest
 
        
        Solar 
I would be compelled to say yes
 
        
        Solar 
Let’s just pretend, huh?
 
        Taehyung grabbed his jacket.. he was done with his makeup removal
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Just text me the time and place
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I will be there
 
        Solar bounced a little happily
 
        
        Solar 
You’re always the bestest
 
        Solar smiled and left the room after few seconds
 
        Taehyung grabbed his car keys, his violet and a suit that he was gifted by the Gucci brand for a photo shoot he did recently with them.. apparently they liked his work a lot that they just gifted him the new edition of their suits category
 
        Taehyung walked out of the set and reached near his car.. he placed the suit at the back of his seat, neatly… he then took the driver’s seat and drove away
 
        After nearly a half an hour drive.. taehyung reached to a 21 storey apartment building in one of the elite society of Seoul
 
        He entered the building and bowed to the employees who did the same first..
 
        He took the lift and went straight to the top floor
 
        He reached near the door and was about to open it.. but his feet stepped on something on the mattress outside the door.. it was a envelope and it made a little crumble noise under his feet
 
        Taehyung frowned and picked it up..
 
        He removed the envelope and removed a card out
 
        Everything went blank for a moment
 
        Taehyung stares at the names on the card.. he had no idea his heart could beat this rapidly even after so many years.. he thought his heart had given up on this uneven whimpers.. but sadly, they were back.. and these names were enough to stir his heart violently
 
        But taehyung has mastered self control of his emotions.. he is the master in disguise honestly..
 
        So he held the card tightly in his hand and chipped in the codes for his house.. the door clicked opened and taehyung entered in to a dimly lit living room
 
        He removed his jacket and threw it on the couch
 
        He was about to head to his room when a voice spoke from behind
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
Tae, where were you?
 
        Kim Namjoon… the former leader and rapper of BTS.. was someone who never left his side.. he was grateful for that or else god knows taehyungshi would have been a lost soul.. at least Namjoon was there to remind him of the little glimpse of what he was once upon a time
 
        Their closeness only grew and that’s why Namjoon has the passcode to his house in emergency cases
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
What are you doing here hyung? You didn’t informed me about your visits!
 
        Taehyung said with the same emotions less tone.. he was such a great actor
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
I wanted to see how long do you take to return home
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I had a busy schedule
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Why are you here?
 
        Taehyung’s face by now looked like a ethereal puppet.. because it showed no sense of life
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
Your eomma called me
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
You haven’t been answering her phone for the past two days
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
She is worried for you
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I was just busy hyung.. don’t worry I will call her back
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I am tired.. I have a early morning shoot tomorrow
 
        With that he was about to enter his bedroom but Namjoon spoke again..
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
You should visit your parents Tae.. they miss you
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I miss them too..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I will make sometime to visit them
 
        Lies, lies, taehyung was a good liar
 
        Namjoon’s eyes landed on the paper he was holding and a envelope as well
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
What are you holding Tae?
 
        Taehyung now realised that this entire time since he entered his house he hasn’t let go of this paper
 
        He didn’t even realised he was holding them too tight
 
        Taehyung said it more to himself
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
It’s nothing
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Just a wedding invitation
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I am going to sleep
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You can have it
 
        Taehyung dropped the invitation on the floor..
 
        And closed the door of his bedroom after entering it
 
        Namjoon walked near the paper
 
        He looked at the already opened paper lying on the ground
 Let Go!
                    
        Namjoon knocked on Tae’s bedroom door
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
Tae, baby.. come out.. we need to talk
 
        Namjoon said it as softly as possible
 
        He waited for the door to be opened
 
        After few seconds, there was a click from the inside and soon enough the door was flung opened by Tae
 
        Tae walked out keeping his expressionless posture
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
What is it hyung?
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
We need to talk about this..
 
        Namjoon pointed at the wedding invitation
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Talk about it, what?
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
When did you find about it?
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Just now.. it was placed on my doormat
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
Uhm.. I don’t know what to say.. this is happening so sudden..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
There is nothing to say hyung..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
It’s their life
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I don’t know why you are giving it so much attention
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
It’s just.. I tried.. I tried
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You knew about this?
 
        Namjoon’s eyes were back on Tae, searching for any expression.. sadly, Kim Taehyung was the master of duality.. so cunning for his own self..
 
        What happened to this actor? He was such a happy lad few years ago.. he was the light of their lives and now he barely has a life with him..
 
        This breaks Namjoon’s heart
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
I got their invitation yesterday morning
 
        Tae’s eyes dilated.. he wasn’t sure of how to react on it
 
        Tae said it like a whisper
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Well good for them..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
It’s a good news
 
        His words sounded as meaningless as his life
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
They shouldn’t have sent you an invitation
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
Knowing all too well what happened in the past
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
This is just so rude.. I didn’t expect this from Jimin and jungkook
 
        Tae lowly growled.. it was more like a whisper
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Don’t speak of their names
 
        His voice was threatening though
 
        He looked at Tae sympathetically
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
You should move on Tae
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
It’s been so many years.. you have hurt yourself..
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
I don’t even recognise you anymore
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
It’s enough now
 
        Tae scoffed although deep down he hated being such a burden on his hyung.. Namjoon has always been so close to him.. the elder would always worry about him.. it was a surprise that unlike others, Namjoon stayed by his side all through these years
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You’re talking too much
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I need to rest hyung
 
        Namjoon’s eyes softened.. not minding Tae’s words
 
        
        Kim Namjoon 
Let it go tae
 
        Namjoon was about to say something more when Tae cut in between
 
        Each word came out slow and firm.. but had no power in it
 
        Because Tae’s dimly lit eyes were enough to tell.. he has never overcome
 
        Heck, he is leaving a life that proofs he has never overcome
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I am sleepy..
 
        Tae said nothing more just marched in his room..
 
        A loud thud noise was heard.. Namjoon stared blankly at the floor
 
        Tae on the other hand.. closed the door.. and felt himself weak.. his back hit the door and he slid down on the floor
 
        Tae hugged his knees as he chewed on his thumbnail.
 
        Tae stared at the night sky while sitting near his door.. he can’t exactly pin point to what emotions he is feeling.. there is so much more and there is still nothing left in his life.. this whole life seems a plain travel while on the other hand he wished for so many things once upon a time and now he doesn’t want anything
 
        He heard footsteps nearing his door.. he can already imagine Namjoon placing a hand on the door and gently caressing it as if Tae will receive it
 
        He heard Namjoon say softly..
 
        And within a minute.. he heard his main door closed
 
        Tae sat there on the floor.. listening to his heart beat..
 
        Stupid heart, still knows how to beat.. stupid, stupid, stupid, that’s what it is.. his heart
 
        He wants to get rid of this emotions.. if it was any other day, then things would have been fine.. he would have been in control.. but tonight seems to really be the difficult one
 
        Stupid heart, stop it.. I don’t want to feel it, Tae thought to himself
 
        Stop please, his inner voice now sounded desperate
 
        Giving up on his heart, Tae stood up and opened his bedroom door again
 
        His eyes trailed in the dimly lit living room..
 
        And it landed on the invitation card that was neatly kept on the table.. probably by Namjoon..
 
        Tae clenched on to his night shirt hem and walked closer to the card
 
        His feet bare, felt chills against the cold marble floor
 
        He reached near the card and looked at it
 
        A brown paper envelope had a white sealing with two words “For You” written on it.. a little blue flower attached with the seal
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Such a classy Jimin
 
        Yes by just the look of it.. Tae can tell this was Jimin’s selection..
 
        Jimin always had a likeness to story telling..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
He would always blabber about having the most unique wedding card..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
A simple and yet elegant one
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Something that defines he is a simple man and yet has a beautiful heart
 
        Heart again?.. stupid.. stupid heart.. Tae gritted his teeth as his eyes threatened to spill the tears he promised to never drop
 
        He in fact forced his own tears to never utter a single word out of his eyes.. because he was a good liar with his mouth..
 
        He trained himself on many restless nights to deceive from his eyes.. he was doing a hella of a good job in the past years, but tonight seems like a real test
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
You didn’t have to stoop so low jimin.. you’re mocking me
 
        Tae said in a deep croaked voice.. but he will not cry.. never, even when his heart wants to..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I can see your smiling face as you must be preparing this card for me..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Want me to know what I can never have!
 
        Tae took hold of the card.. looked at it for a brief moment and he didn’t know his heart was bleeding by now..
 
        He could clearly hear his heart say.. “let go”
 
        Tae growled to no one in particular.. to his heart, yes indeed
 
        He could hear his heart whisper again..
 
        Tae’s shoulders slumped.. his head hung low.. defeat leaking out of him.. defeat that he only carried within him was flowing out of him like a wind around him.. choking him, suffocating him..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Stupid heart..
 
        This time Tae begged his own heart.. seems like reality was this, that he never let it go
 
        Tae crumbled the envelope in his palms and threw it somewhere in the room..
 
        His eyes then landed on the chocolatey brown card.. words written on it like gold glitters
 
        This was Jimin’s idea too.. this card, Tae can tell it..
 
        The little lights are his way of expressing that love is light.. and he has finally received it
 
        Jimin was always so simple.. so simple.. and yet he had the most extravagant personality.. he showed the world his different sides but his true self was simply simplicity
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
It’s beautiful.. your name Jimin..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
I always wanted to give you away to your lover.. walk the aisle with you as you smile at your lover.. cry with you just a day before your wedding .. I always wanted you to be with your lover
 
        Tae saw at the name below “Park Jimin”
 
        Tae felt his breath hitched.. his throat dry and his breathing carelessly uneven.. his eyes stared at the name “Jeon Jungkook”.. Tae doesn’t know how to let go of that name..
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Stop it stupid heart
 
        Tae this time deeply protested with his own heart
 
        He stared again on the name
 
        He watched the name as if it was burning him alive
 
        And it was.. the name “Jeon Jungkook” was indeed burning him into ashes..
 
        Tae gently trailed his index finger on the name “Jeon Jungkook” feeling all the electric sensation that he always had when the younger was around him..
 
        “Jeon Jungkook” makes his heart so stupid
 
        Heart is stupid they say!
 The Night Of Something First!
                    
        Have you ever loved someone so deeply that you just don’t know how to love anyone else in the same way? I don’t even know how to love my own self
 
        My love began with a old house that was called as BTS dorm
 
        My first day is so vividly rooted inside my brain that I could never forget these memories..
 
        I am living in my memories truth to be told..
 
        That was the year, when I had gone to support a friend who was going to audition for Big Hit Entertainment
 
        I neither dreamed of becoming a singer nor did I planned to.. I was just there to support him and nothing else… my mind was free from everything as I sat with my friend and watched him being nervous and on a hook.. he wasn’t alone… everyone around me looked equally nervous
 
        It was quite exhilarating to watch..
 
        My friend’s name was called for the audition and I patted his back.. I was excited for him.. who wouldn’t be? This was his life changing moment
 
        But after half an hour.. he walked out with a gloomy face.. he looked sad and defeated
 
        I asked him what happened… and sadly he was rejected
 
        I wanted to motivate him to never give up.. and that’s exactly what I did
 
        We decided to head back to our homes.. but as we neared the exit, someone walked up to us and instead of talking to my friend that person spoke to me..
 
        “You should try out too, you seem to have potential”
 
        Those were his words and I would later realise he was one of the director of the BigHit entertainment
 
        It was awkward though.. hearing the man say I had potential when my friend was rejected
 
        My friend looked at me with an expression less face.. But I could tell he was upset about the whole scenario
 
        Nevertheless.. I didn’t want to let go of this chance.. if this man sees potential in me, surely I would have some talent..
 
        I do love music.. it’s more on a passionate side then a dream.. in my village, in Daegu, I would play saxophone which my father gifted to me..
 
        I love to play saxophone and I think I was pretty good at it.. apart from that, I barely had any musical talent.. I didn’t know how my voice would sound.. or was it just a good voice that was needed.. I realised later, looks also played a major factor in getting selected.. and if you’re good in dancing then that was cherries on top
 
        I was still a stranger to what the company was and what did they plan to do with all these new youngsters who want to have a career in music industry..
 
        I nodded to the man who looked at me expectantly
 
        I heard my friend say.. he would wait for me..I guess he hoped I would be rejected.. honestly, I hoped the same.. because really, this happens only in movies where a movie director sees someone and just casts them and change their life completely., I loved to dream but I was never drunk in it
 
        I followed the man and he took me to a auditioning room which was quite big actually..
 
        That was when I felt nervous.. my throat was dry and I kept gulping to have some sort of water.. I was so nervous that I could feel my hand shake around the hem of my shirt.. my palms were sweaty by then
 
        The man walked up to me with a bottle of water.. and told me whenever I was ready I could begin performing..
 
        I chose my parents favorite song to sing.. I closed my eyes and just let my voice do the work.. I knew the lyrics and that was of great help.. I didn’t even realise how I was sounding.. I just let myself be drifted to the lyrics that held great memories for me.. I would listen to the song with my parents and my favorite person, grandma.. I smiled thinking about them..
 
        I finished the song eventually.. by the end of it.. my voice was crooked because I was so nervous
 
        The man who motivated me to audition, walked up to me and smiled brightly..
 
        Those words echoed in my mind like a music..
 
        I wish now that I should have never been selected
 
        Then I would have been fine in my little hometown..
 
        Then I would have never met him..
 
        The one who took away my desire to love.. the one who took away a big portion of me.. the one who damaged all the willpower inside me to move on..to let go..
 
        2011, I was 15 that time..
 
        My appa had come to drop me at a place that was going to be my home for many years.. many years before success
 
        I wore a normal pant and a shirt tucked in..
 
        I had a black leather jacket on..
 
        Those words still ring in my ears.. they hold so much power and honesty for me.. probably because of those words, I am still able to live.. it doesn’t matter if I am living a meaningless life
 
        My meaning of life was betrayed here in the place meant for seven boys who will be seen as “Bangtan Sonyeondan” for the world
 
        I hugged my appa tightly..
 
        And entered a small room apartment
 
        It was a small company that time so the budget was low and we have to cooperate with whatever they offered us
 
        I flexed my jacket a little.. honestly I just wanted to fit in.. didn’t want to show that I belonged to a farmer’s family..
 
        I heard they all were city boys.. but later I would find out that it wasn’t all of them..
 
        However.. I just wanted to show… that I could mix up with them.. I could socialise with them.. and that I wasn’t a weirdo
 
        I have heard it a lot.. people calling me weird.. it didn’t bother me then but it apparently bothered me a lot when I entered the dorm
 
        I clenched on to my small bag as I opened the dorm room door..
 
        Four boys were standing in a small living room and smiling at me.. I smiled at them awkwardly
 
        Hi, I am Jin.. the oldest among all of us.. I just found him gullible back then.. I bowed to him frantically
 
        I am suga.. I rap and write songs.. nice to meet you..
 
        Wow, he was handsome.. his pale skin looked so smooth.. I wanted to touch it.. and that was my cue of acting weird, so I stopped myself.. the boy smiled at me and I realised he had a gummy smile..
 
        I am your hope, you’re my hope, I am J-hope.. wow, this boy was the loudest and cheerful of them all.. actually, I was glad that there was someone like him.. because I love to be loud and happy.. maybe, he and I can be good friends.. I hoped for being best friends with him though.. that’s how i thought
 
        Then appeared before me.. the man who has stayed beside me still.. “I am Namjoon but my stage name is Rap Monster.. I am the leader of the group” he said it with confidence.. I stiffened at those words and kept bowing to him nervously
 
        I heard them all chuckle..
 
        And I gave them my grandma’s favorite smile.. a boxy one.. that’s what she called me.. a boxy baby bear.. gosh, I miss my grandma so much..
 
        They all welcomed me warmly.. they asked me to settle in..
 
        They took me to a room where there were bunker beds..
 
        “There are only two beds left near the window, so you can pick anyone of it” the oldest of them all said..
 
        I counted there were seven beds and only two were vacant.. then there was another member left as I only met four by then
 
        “Are there five members?”
 
        The boy who had sunshine like smile told me about another member who is by far the youngest among us..
 
        “The youngest one was away for a singing practice” Jhope hyung said
 
        I frowned.. shouldn’t they all be at practice then..
 
        The boy who had cat like smile, suga hyung, spoke.. the youngest member has to practice a lot to polish his voice
 
        Wow that was so cool.. I thought to myself
 
        I took the top bunk near the bed.. I settled in.. jin hyung got me some food and I immediately digged in.. I realised I was a lot hungry that time
 
        I slipped some food on my expensive leather jacket.. shit.. now that was a tragedy..
 
        Now that I think off.. I really should have been grateful to my appa who had no money for such clothing and yet saved a lot just so that I can wear whatever I liked.. I wish I could go back and hug my appa again..I want to be grateful for it
 
        I can still hug him.. but that moment was precious
 
        I mostly stayed on the bed.. it was my first day.. and I didn’t know what to do.. they all were busy in something.. Namjoon, suga and Jhope hyung were discussing about some rap lyrics.. they were the main rap line of BtS.. then there was jin hyung who was practicing a dance routine in one corner of the living room.. I could tell that time he struggled a lot..
 
        Later they shared with me about how they were selected by the company.. I was in awe of them..
 
        Namjoon hyung was a underground rapper and was the first one to join BTS.. then there was suga hyung who won second place in a rap competition.. although, Jhope hyung didn’t win a competition by another company, Big Hit offered him a place because of his amazing dance skills.. they were so cool.. the coolest people I have ever seen in my life
 
        And to my surprise.. jin hyung was selected when he was out minding his own business.. jin hyung says it’s all because of his face that he got a spot here.. he needs to work hard on his singing and dancing..
 
        I felt bad for jin hyung.. and I could relate to him.. since I felt I wasn’t up to the mark myself
 
        The youngest member came after them.. he was only thirteen when a company rejected him.. but was approached by many other companies and he chose big hit because he was inspired by Namjoon hyung’s rap.. I would choose bighit too if I heard Namjoon hyung rap, because he is just awesome in it
 
        I didn’t realise I was very tired so I dozed off in my clothes that I wore since morning..
 
        I woke up late at night..
 
        Everyone was already asleep
 
        But I had a bladder problem..
 
        So I rushed down my bunk..
 
        And without any thought I just entered the bathroom..
 
        I was in such a hurry to pee that I didn’t realise the shower was running and maybe someone else was there in the bathroom..
 
        I finally felt relaxed and turned my eyes towards the shower
 
        A very young boy, was standing n@ked under the shower.. his hands caged around his chest and his eyes looked terrified
 
        That’s all I said and rushed out of the bathroom
 
        I waited outside the bathroom for him… I wanted to explain myself
 
        I really didn’t mean to invade his privacy.. I cursed my own bladder issues that time
 
        After fifteen minutes the boy walked out.. wearing a night shorts and loose top.. he looked scared when his eyes landed on me
 
        I felt I messed up everything
 
        
        Tae 
I am sorry.. i am new here.. i had no idea you were there.. i just wanted to go urgently
 
        
        Tae 
I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable
 
        He was nervous and I could say he wanted to just rush to his bed and hide in the blanket..
 
        I thought I shouldn’t make him more uncomfortable so I decided to say good night
 
        
        Tae 
Uhm.. okay.. then good night
 
        I stopped on my heels.. because it was his voice that made me feel goosebumps for the first time
 
        I had never heard such a sweet voice.. it was angelic..
 
        I turned again.. my eyes wide and my smile reached to my ears.. I noticed now the boy was immensely beautiful.. he had a pair of doe eyes, they looked like glassy and very pure.. very very pure
 
        His cheeks chubby, his eyebrows shaped perfectly.. his nose were like cute buttons.. his lips were like pink roses.. a mole under his lips, was the cutest thing ever.. a tilted my head to see a scar on the upper part of his cheekbones..
 
        I wanted to ask him how did he get that mark.. but I knew that wasn’t the right time.. I planned to do so though, when we became more comfortable with each other
 
        
        Tae 
I am Kim Taehyung.. I just arrived today..
 
        
        Tae 
You’re the fifth member?
 
        His voice was so sweet.. did I tell you that..
 
        
        Tae 
It’s nice to meet you Jungkook.. I am sorry about earlier
 
        
        Kookie 
Uhm.. I should head to bed.. it’s very late
 
        He walked passed me and I just stared at his back for few seconds before following him to the same dorm room..
 
        He took the single bed beside the two bunker beds near the window.. I climbed up to my bunk..
 
        As I was about to cover myself in the blanket.. my eyes landed on him.. he looked at me at the same time
 
        I couldn’t help but smile my boxy one..
 
        I saw his eyes widen and he just shoved a smile at me before hiding in the blanket
 
        He was the weirdest of all so far.. and that was coming from a weird person like me
 
        Did I fell in love with him then?
 
        This wasn’t the night of the beginning of my love
 
        But this was the night.. where I met the man I will love till this day
 
        And he is going to get married
 
        Tae looked at the city lights while sitting in his living room couch.. he trailed his finger on the name “Jeon Jungkook” on a wedding card
 
        Why? That’s all he could say to himself
 
        Why would they do this to him? Why show him their happiness when he only fights to not hate them..
 
        He is fighting.. a battle constantly runs inside him..
 
        He doesn’t want to hate them..
 
        Then why he is being pushed towards it
 
        
        Kim Taehyung 
Why would you hurt me?
 
        “Why did the love that showed me the heavens gate.. was never mine..”
 
        Taehyung asked his angels.. but sadly, his angels have been quietened or lost for so many years now
 
        But Tae doesn’t like to accept that he stopped believing his angels
 
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