inhale 123 exhale .......

A slight knock on the door startled me .

" Father will ? are you in there ? " Benjamin questioned . " yeah I'll be out in a minute !" I tried to remain calm , but my voice spoke the otherwise . " hurry up , everyone is waiting !" and I heard his large footsteps running in the corridor. I was already shaking out of fear and my body was tensed up .

I opened the old wooden door , and exhaled again , without noticing that I have nothing left to exhale . I glanced at the mirror one last time ,

my face seemed blurry , I rubbed my eyes , and found my eyes filled with water .

' it's okay , you knew right !" I told the mirror .

' you knew he's gonna die , shhh calm down !'

I brushed my mind off from father simone's death .

I reached at the altar , where his body was placed , he had a smile on his face , just like when he brought me to this monastery .

" give your last greetings !" the head priest instructed me .

I came closer to him and kissed his cheek .

" I am sorry father , I am really very sorry !" I whispered in his ear .

I hugged him and placed Chrysanthemum in his cold hands .

" I greet you one last time ! " I looked at his face one last time , in a hope to remember his smiling face , without any creases or worries ,it was at peace .

" Father William , it's time to grave the dead !" the head priest suggested without any emotion in his voice , although they were like best friends . But it doesn't matter now , my father has left .

" sure !" and I stepped aside .

I saw Benjamin approaching me with a handkerchief , " Here father , wipe you face !"

I grabbed it quickly in embarrassment.

" oh sorry !"

" you need not be , it's okay !" he smiled .

Father Simone was buried backside the church .

" one last conference in my office with deputy head , vice head of the monastery and Father William , you too !" the head priest announced.

What now ? I was already frustrated .

" as you say !" I bowed my head .

Later in the office of head priest all the other officials were seated , only I was the one on the low post . I made my way to the last chairs .

I didn't understood a single word head priest pronounced , all I did was scoff at my ruined life . Father Simone was a father to me and he too left me , without a warning . He was the one who sheltered me , clothed me , and now I feel like an alien . its like ,I lost my father and these people , doesn't care somebody just died , besides there ceremonies.

" Father William ? "

"huh?" I looked at the blank faces staring at

me .

I looked at them , I didn't know what was going on . " I am sorry !" I bowed my head down in embarrassment . " father William is appointed as the head of Rhiiver Vale church . !" the head priest ordered .while I was dumbfounded .

" -in the honor of Father Simone's last

request ." he ended his sentence ,while dismissing the conference

And then before I could leave his office he called me out separately ,

and just handed me an envelope and shut my hand tight . I looked at him with confusion ,

he just whispered to me ," this was his last wish , before you left this place !" and patted my hand lightly " stay and live !" he told me .

I read the letter that night , in my room .

Dear ANISON ,

you always wished me to call you from your original name . So here I am , my handsome

ANISON , I am sorry to be harsh to you sometimes . I am leaving . I wish , I could spend more time with you .

adiós.

Father Simone .

my chest hurt , and my neck pained from not letting out the anger and the anguish and the burning sensation filled me and I cried , until I could get lost in my own tears .

I woke up late next morning , I already knew I will not get breakfast. Rules are rules , none is spared .

my stomach growled , but I didn't mind it .

I changed to my ritual attire , and went to the church to worship and pray , while I sat there , Benjamin called me out ,

" father William please follow me to the kitchen !" he instructed me .

" why ?" I asked .

" to buy property !" he rolled his eyes , and continued ," what people does in kitchen ?" he asked me , and before I could answer him , he literally dragged me there ,

and I smelled the delicious smell of food , and my stomach growled .

" see ! I knew you haven't had anything since yesterday , now come and eat something !"

he scolded me ,

" Ben , this is against the rules !" I warned him .

" I know that , but I rule the kitchen and yes I do all the chores , so you need to listen me !"

" that doesn't make sense !" I told him , totally dazed on his boldness .

" yes , that's what my father said , when he saw me for the first time !" he made a funny face .

I couldn't control myself , and I laughed .

" I am glad you laughed , let's talk later , and eat something , I made sweets and even some burritos !" he picked a cupcake and stuffed in my mouth I didn't realize I was this hungry , he made total 6 cupcakes , and I ate all of them .

" eat slow , don't rush , and brush your teeth after this , I know you have a sweet tooth !" he exhaled loudly . looking at the cupcake in my hand .

" oh sorry where are my manners , so you want it ?" I asked pushing the cake forward ,

" Naah , just take care of yourself !" he brushed my hair lightly , Patting it .

I looked at him , what is he doing ?

and I could see his eyes , growing really stranger to me , as if he wasn't himself .

the bell rang making us both startled .

" oh it's soon going to be lunch , finish it and go !" his eyes traveled the whole kitchen , not resting on anything near me and he restlessly placed his hands loudly on the table .

" are you _" before I could finish , he growled softly at me , " Will , Go Now !" and I just left .

I wiped my face on the run , and gradually just got held by Head priest , " where are you running ?"

" greetings Father , I am going to my room !" I bowed my head down .

" you were not present during the breakfast, where were you ?' he questioned .

" I apologize , I was late , so I didn't attended the breakfast !"

" Hmm !"

" so what did you thought ... about uhh Riiver Vale church ? would you head there tomorrow?"

his voice was shaky as if he wasn't sure of my answer , like I can choose the otherwise.

" I'll do as I am told !" I answered him .

" Good , pack your things then !" he walked off .

I exhaled .

my life doesn't matter to me , it's for people .

I headed towards my room , and brushed my teeth .

Another bell rang in the monastery ,

indicating the lunch at 12 noon sharp .

I didn't want to eat anything now , but I need to go show myself , I ought to show my presence.

I entered the hall , large tables were placed and every father of the monastery seated . I walked up to my usual seat , some eyes were on me , talking and whispering . some of my juniors greeted me .

" good afternoon Father William !"

" good afternoon !"

while I settled there , I could see Benjamin instructing other maids and servants to organize the meal for fathers .

it was a simple one , one bowl of rice and one bowl of cereal . No one ate until the Head priest entered , and offered a prayer to the Lord .

And then the Head priest looked at me , I again greeted him to show my presence . everyone settled , while the serving was going on , I left my table and went to my room and packed my stuff : three attires , usual clothes , because it is always snowy in the Riiver Vale , I packed two jackets , a woolen scarf and a cap, my boots.

and yes , my Bible , and my other religious books .

Today in the evening i will leave this place .

I slight knock on my door , caught my attention.

" who is there ?" I called out zipping up my bag .

" it's Ben , have you gotten ready ?" he questioned behind the door .

I opened it .

" yes ! just going to change into something usual !" I told him .

" I brought some rice and beans for the way , " and he whispered to me ," I even packed some cookies !"

" you don't have to -"

" Head priest instructed me !" he told me .

" oh !" I didn't know what else to say .

" and this is a card , remember me , I'll see you soon !" he told me and puffed up his cheek and left . I didn't open the card . and just zipped into one of the pockets of my jacket .

Riiver Vale is a village with more than 600 people . They live on true rituals and even burn the alive , who goes against there rules .

I didn't knew what was waiting ahead . but my gut feeling told me , it's playing with fire .

" Father William , we reached . " the driver stopped near an old building . I put the curtain aside to see my new residence , but it already had turned dark , and the stars shimmered .

" okay I see! " I took my luggage out and the man helped me place it inside the home , inners were crazy warm . It was much much cleaner than I expected .

I was going to close the door behind me , when the driver requested me , " father , can you pray for my daughter , she has a high temperature !" his eyes filled with water .

" sure , but first step inside , it's cold outside !"

I smiled at him .

I prayed for his daughter , blessing him too .

and he returned back with his faith .

if only the Good Lord ! can hear my requests .

if only he could hear the sinners like me .

I breathed loudly , and then when I went into the kitchen , a letter was placed by the previous father .

to whom it may concern, ( father )

the servant gonna arrive at 7 in the morning for breakfast , and at 11 to cook lunch and again at 7 in the evening for dinner.

keep your washing clothes near the yard . He will pick and wash for you .

NO FURTHER INTERACTIONS ARE ALLOWED .

FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY !

Father John !

Again the rules and regulations . lemme live a little . .I opened the door to see the clear night sky and moon shining brightly.

I want to scream , let my exhausted self out . but that doesn't suit a personality of a father .

my eyes struck at the orange light flickering in the dark , and the smoke crept upon it.

I walked inside the village , and then I saw something that I shouldn't see , a young boy being burned alive .

I gasped , none in the years of my youth , I have seen such a dreadful sight .

I heard his screams , the warmth of the fire burned my skin too . his eyes large and his skin giving up to its bones and then he ran in the street until he fall down and left his pained soul.

what was this ?

An old men with prickly beard , his stomach fat , trying to escape out shouted , " Whoever man loves another man , surely shall die like this !" and he laughed loudly , like a demon .

And my feet already trembled .

a lady then gasped in horror , and again the old man proudly stated , " don't cry , you fool for he was Bewitched by a gay demon , now his soul will be sent to heaven , don't you think , I did a righteous thing for your son ?" and he laughed again . And then our eyes met .

and I ran from there as fast as I could . I didn't look back again . and I couldn't find my breathe until I reached home . I shut myself deeper in the bathroom and dived myself in the tub . until I could reach , my limit .