Jungkook POV

It was a good evening but suddenly it's raining. the sky was dark , was the weather mocking me now? or it's feeling sad for me? i dont know.

*cough* *cough*

I sit down on the chair while waiting for the doctor. where am i? is that your question? i'm at hospital. i'm sick? i dont know. its been 3 days i cough. and the problem is when i cough, there are petals and flowers came out.

*sigh*

"sorry mr jeon for let you waiting for so long" the doctor come and sit on his chair and sigh. why did he sigh? did my condition is bad?

"so? what sick that i had doc?" i asked. of course i'm nervous. what if i had a cancer?

the doctor sigh again. "I'm sorry mr jeon. what i'm gonna tell you is maybe a little difficult for you to understand"

"you've got a sickness named hanahaki disease"

"what kind of sickness is that? i never heard about it" i replied

"well, mr jeon..this sickness about one sided love. not everyone know that hanahaki disease was exist"

"hanahaki disease is a disease where the victim, you mr jeon, of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible"

"what can i do to heal myself?"

"this disease only can end when the beloved returns their feelings or when the victim...dies"

die? did he just said die? i may die just because of this stupid sickness?!

"stop joking around" i said to him

"i'm afraid that i'm not mr jeon. hanahaki disease also can be cured through surgical removal but it have some effect"

"what is it?"

"when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear"

"disappear?" tear escape from my right eye

"yes. Sometimes some people may remember their feelings after the surgery but i'm afraid it wont happen. its only 3% of person have that magical life"

"so, there are only 3 way? the person that i love, love me back, do the surgery and...die?"

"yes mr jeon. i had met many people that had same case like you and some of them choose to do the surgery and some of them to stay to their feelings"

sound of thunder are more loud than before. perfect for my situation. my mind was mess, i dont know what should i do. Should i do the surgery?

"i will come again when i have answer"

"sure and if you dont come, i guess i will take it as you want to keep the feelings that you had" he smile

i get out from the hospital and saw the rain was slowly faded. i take a deep breath and start my engine car to go back to home.

...----------------...

I arrived at my home and i saw another car parking beside me. it was yoongi hyung. he look so pale. is he sick?

"hyung!" i called him. he turn his head to look at me and smile.

"oh hey, where did you went?"

"i'm just taking some fresh air" i lied

"okay, come on..we need to enter now or it will be rain again" i nod

When we enter the house, we saw two guy cuddling on sofa while watching television. i sigh..again.

There four of us living in this house. This house is mine but i share it with my best friends. Four of us are best friends since childhood.

"we're home" yoongi hyung said and they look to us.

"oh yoonie! you're home" one of them name taehyung said giggling

"yeah" yoongi hyung answer and smile

I make my way to the kitchen and drink some water. i need to calm down, he's not mine. he didnt have feeling for me like i did.

"kookie..."

That voice..the voice that can make my sleep peacefully. The voice that make my heart cant stop beating quickly. Why did he come here? I turn around to see **him**. He stand in front of me with that white loose shirt.

"jimin? what are you doing here?" i asked

"hurm..i'm looking for you this morning but didnt found you" he hug me. why? just why? dont act like this, dont act like you feel the same way like i do. you're already have taehyung, why did you give me a hope?

"where did you go?"

"hurm..i went to take some fresh air" i lied like i lied to yoongi hyung

"oh.." he broke the hug and smile before leave to living room and cuddle with taehyung again.

I take a sit on one of this chair in the kitchen and i cry. I cry silently. Its hurt so much..i cant. I cant to see you happy with someone else other than me.

But i love you too much to throw this feeling that i have for you. I want to remember this feeling even you didnt feel the same way. Let me die, I cant take the surgery.

end jungkook *POV

:: tbc*~

Author's Pov

The next day is same for jungkook. Watching the two person flirting make his heart more. And the worst is, he need to pretend that he's happy.

Jungkook's hurting and no one knows except himself. The person he love was with someone else. He was sitting on the bench outside the house alone when someone come to him.

"kookie…" he knew very well the voice. He's the only person who call him kookie. But the voice is a bit.. different. He speak to jungkook with sad and worry voice that make jungkook looking at him, wondering what he wants to say.

"hm?" the person take a sit beside him and look at jungkook worried. Jungkook frown.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

He was silent for a minute. "are you okay? do you mad at me? did i do something that makes you angry? please tell me" he asked nonstop that make jungkook laugh.

"you didn't talk to me since you got back yesterday" he continued with a pout.

"no, i'm fine" jungkook answer but the boy knows that he's lying.

"kookie, don't lie to me. I know very well when you're lying so don't ever think to try" he warned

"jimin, you don't need to worry.. i'm fine. I just felt stress that I will take over my dad's company soon" jungkook smile.

"you sure? you sure that you didn't have any problem other than that? because you know you can share it with me"

"yeah" if... just if jungkook can tell jimin how much he is hurting, he sure will tell him.

"btw, taetae sing me a song last night"

"oh"

"you don't look happy. Why?" He tilted his head and jungkook smile of his cuteness.

"no, i'm okay" jimin smile back and pat jungkook head before he enter the house back.

...----------------...

Yoongi's POV

What an another bad day. He's with jimin again. Why should I watching all of their romantic scene. Am I did anything bad in my past life?

"yoonie…"

"what is it tae?" Why did he need to talk to me when i'm acting to be happy?

"actually, last night I had sing a song for jimin" he smile. And why you want to tell me that? Do you think I will happy to hear that?

"oh…that's good but isn't jungkook that always sing for him?"

"well yeah but jimin said jungkook don't want to talk to him" I frown. Jungkook don't want to talk to jimin?

"why?"

"i don't know but i saw it too. Jungkook act differently yesterday. He rarely talk to us and he lock himself in his room"

Hmm I didn't realised it but when tae said 'bout it , it make sense. I rarely saw him.

"Did he have some problem?" tae asked

"I don't know"

"you should know. He always talk to you if he has any problems"

...----------------...

:: tbc~

Jungkook's POV

Ughh... my head's hurt. What time is it? I turn on my phone and look at the time. "7am? why the hell am I awake early today?"

I stand up and go to the bathroom to take a shower but then I saw kookie. I smile, I got kookie from jimin at my birthday last year. He named it kookie since he said that I look like a bunny.

*cough* *cough*

I go to vomit in hurry. Ughh I'm still didn't used to it . I take a deep breath before I wash my mouth and I saw it. The petals and flowers.

"Lily..." I smile. Jimin really love this flower. He often said to me that he want his future boyfriend give him lily everytime they go for a date. And taehyung must give it right? I smile sadly.

I... I regrets. Why I realised it too late?! Just.. why? if not, you must be mine and I won't have this fcking sickness. But what can I do? That's all my fault.

...----------------...

still Jungkook's POV

I go and sit on the bench alone again. \****sigh***\*. How many times I want to sigh? It's countless.

I was reading a book when yoongi hyung come and sit beside me. I look at him. Why did he looked so pale?

"oh hyung you're here"

"yeah, taehyung and jimin went to the mall" ah.. that's why I didn't saw them today. They must went for a date....

"Jungkook, can I talk to you? "

"of course" I closed the book and waiting for him to speak.

"what happened to you?"

"what do you mean hyung?"

"Jungkook...I know you have problem"

"ah... it just about the company -"

"and I know that's not the reason" he cut me off. I'm scared, what if he know? he sure will asking me who the person is.

"Jungkook... I'm talking to you" I gulped. What should I say?

"I'm fine hyung. Don't need to worry"

"you -" he's been cut off by his phone. It's ringing, that's mean someone is calling him. He answer it and put on speaker.

: oh hello tae?

Its taehyung?

: *yoonie! jimin was really funny! how can he cry just because of the movie? *laugh**

Ah... he called him just because of that?

: you called me just because of that?

Yoongi hyung sound like he's... annoyed? I look at him and saw he rolled his eyes. What's that mean?

: ***tae, I have some work. I will hung up now

: okay yoonie***..

He hung up and look at me with narrow eyes. "Tell me kook, what's bothering you. You know that I won't stop until you answer me"

"I- "

I want to speak but my mind keep thinking about taehyung and jimin. What movie they watched that made jimin cry? What will they do after the movie? Will they... kiss?

"kook... why are you crying?" I'm crying? I put my hand on my cheeks and yes, I was crying without realising. I wipe my tears and I saw yoongi hyung worried face.

I can't hold it anymore. Looking at his worried face make me want to let it out. And I did what I think that time, I'm crying.

"kook!" he hug me tightly

"why can't it be me hyung! why! I love him, I really love him. I'm so stupid for not realising my feelings for him!" he keep hugging me

"why hyung why... I-" I put my hand on my mouth and run to the toilet.

"KOOK!" yoongi hyung shout but I know I can't stop now. I open the toilet door and immediately puke it .

I wiped my mouth and saw yoongi hyung standing behind me. I follow his gaze and saw he looking at the petals.

"you... you have hanahaki ?"

I looked at him. How can he know about this sickness? He hugged me tightly and I'm crying in his arm again.

"who is it? tell me"

I didn't answer and keep crying.

"come on, lets talk in the kitchen. You need to drink, you've been crying so much"

We make our way and I take a sit while yoongi hyung served a glass ofwater for me.

"thanks" I thanked him. He take a sit beside me and start talking when I'm done drinking it .

"who is it?" he asked again. I'm in dilemma. I know I can't hide it from him and I'm sure he will force me to tell him.

"let me tell you a secret" he said and I look forward to hear it.

"I... we're same kook" I frowned

"I have hanahaki disease too" he continued. My eyes become wide. Is it true? did I heard wrong?

"no you're not" I guess I speak too loud

"actually, I knew about it 2 days before. I was same, I vomited and there had petals and flowers, angelica" he sigh. angelica? isnt that taehyung favourite flower?

"then I went to hospital and the doctor said that I have hanahaki disease . He told me about this sickness and I decide to not take the surgery. I.. cannot take it. Even the person I love don't feel the same , I still can't take it" he finished his story and asked me again,

"now tell me your story"

"I- my story almost same like you but I knew it yesterday. *sigh* Actually, I went to hospital yesterday and yeah the doctor said what he said to you",

"I don't want to take the surgery also hyung. I'll rather died than forgot my feelings for him " he smile

"do you want to know who I having feelings for?"

"is it taehyung?" he nod smiling.

"how do you know?"

"angelica... it's taehyung favourite flower"

"how about you? is it someone I know?" I nods

"its... jimin" I whispered but I guess yoongi hyung heard it because I saw his surprise face. Then he giggle "so, I guess we have feelings for our best friends?"

"well yeah" I rub the back of my neck and smile while yoongi hyung laughing.

...----------------...

:: tbc~