so, this is my life story.... somehow I became the villainess in my own life story... actually.. what normal people thinks villains are bad,, they must die,,, whatever...

did anyone ever thought pain can make you even??

yeah... the bitterness of my life made me like this...

a double faced scheming person.....

so to start , I'm actually 16 years old by this year... to tell the truth I was myself the most foolish person I ever saw...

even a low iq person could make a fool of me....I had pay a lot for being such an idiot 😞😞😞....

at the age of 9 I was regularly physically abused by my neibhour....I could never took a guess what is a wrong touch.. nobody actually taught me... to be careful as a girl... my mum... was the most carefree person I ever saw... since childhood she never did any of my works... even I heard I was totally babysitted by my aunt and cousins... she couldn't care about me for her parental matter...

after I started school...I learned to become self dependent... to low my mum's burden.. as she was really busy with my grandma then..I thought If I could become more self reliant... she will love me more... but now I feel, that was one of the biggest mistake I ever did .... as she learned her daughter can do many things alone.. she started to become more lousy... she started to come home late.. and I was used to stay alone at home after dark... for almost 4 hours... spending the time on self study ..... sometime there used to occur load shedding.. and I had claustrophobia... in the intense darkness I used to be completely alone at home....

sitting at a corner... weeping... in hope of " mom or dad will return early"..."they will save me"..

but.... none of them actually came .. most of the time.. it was a neighborhood aunt... or my remote cousin... helping me to light on in the dark..

yeah,,, to mention I also have a brother... who is almost 12 years older than me... due to this long age gap.. we don't share the friendly bond of siblings... just remote fight.. and getting taunt because of me... actually I was a bright student in middle school.... thus everyone praised me , I was a good girl...but inside of me..I hated myself for being so good...

at the age of 12, I asked my dad to bring me a cycle... actually he really brought...I was really happy...

yet nobody actually taught me to ride on it .. dad again went abroad....... and my brother said, " I don't have time for such useless things... go learn yourself"... when I went to the park..I saw others dad or brother teaching them... helping them to stand up after a fall. .

yet I was the only person who was alone... trying hard to follow others... thus in this way I learned cycling... sometimes i also had to spend night at others house , as my granny was at poor health and my mum used to be busy there.......I was always lebelled as an example of good kid... yet that wasn't pleasant for me at all...

I always missed my mom...cried a lot..cried hard to be happy..

yet my fate was always cruel to me...made me a bad person from a good girl in their life.

my loneliness became more intense when my granny was in bed rest for the rest of her life..

wait wait... don't think it's my dad's mom... it's my mom's mom...I mean my maternal grandmother... about my paternal grandma..Huh.. she always hated for being a girl..I did everything... every single thing to gain her attention.. always took care of her... anyways shared my snacks with her... yet she said, "don't always cling on me like glue, ill-mannered brat!".....

if sharing food with grandmother is called ill-mannered.. then I guess every lovely kids in this world are also ill-mannered brats.. AM I wrong??

so I was also unwanted by her.. the only person who understood me was my dad... mum always scolded me when I got hurt... only my dad spoke warming words...... yet he also changed later 😞...

about my school life...I was praised there for being a good student and placing in top 5... later I understood.. they were friends with my merit.. not me actually... so when grew more matured I caught those so called friends.. yet I didn't broke the friendship..I just returned them their favour later..

my Life to an important turn at the age of 13...a trauma.. went on me....

my little aunt (my mom's younger sister) died on 7th August, while giving birth to a baby boy.... both mother and kid died.........................

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my aunt had another daughter...Adah.. she was only 9 then... and her father was mentally unstable... my mom almost became insane.... there was terrifying sensation then... at this so moment...I suddenly missed my first period...I never knew what the hell was that!!!. not even my mom made me aware of this...I only read it on book.. but just as a study... when I I asked my mom... she... ignored me!! I was totally scared!!! my mom isn't listening to me.!!! she is busy with her own grief!!!!... finally a cousin helped me... later whenever I bring the matter, they says i am too selfish...I didn't thought about their situation.. their sister died....I understand... she was my aunt too... but my situation... was it unworthy to consider????

I never got this answer......

........... how could I even handle it at that time...as I was really stupid and immature then...

anyways... after her mom died... my family decided to bring h her at our home.. as her father lives abroad...I was really happy to have an near she companion with me...

believe me! I never took her as a cousin... to me she was always adorable younger sister...

but you know our society is to vicious... even if I do my best, I will lebelled as a bad person if I scold her for her own good... to them.. It's a must scene..a girl will torture her adoptive sister.... she will always play the negative role.... either she will have to devote herself to the motherless child, sacrifice hey everything, otherwise she must be the evil one here....

nowadays.. it became the policy of the society....a girl can never be good to her adoptive sister.... she has to prove it by sacrificing get everything!!! By compromising in everything!!!

starting to sharing parents love to give up on the thing I like,!!!

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to tell the truth Adah is not the one at fault.. she's really sweet... she doesn't want me to be the bad person... but our surroundings are making me...

when I was 13 Adah stated to live with us..i admit I was really sweet then... always nodding with their lie praises like a fool...I did everything to make Adah comfortable in our house... even gave up on the so called mother who never comforted me...

I already started to gave up and compromise from the beginning.... yet that was never enough for my relatives...

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suddenly those praising relatives changed their behaviour towards me... they became cold... and always started to lecture me... always command me to compromise... always command to get the 2nd share..., they says, "Adah doesn't has a mother.... you should compromise more for her... nothing can fulfill the lose she had..." they suddenly became strangers to me.... are they the same relatives who used to praise me and love me,,??

not only them.. the cousins who brought me up.. started to ignore me... whenever I scold Adah..I get punishment... Adah isn't scolded when I'm then one at fault... but if it's her instead, I need to share the punishment... reason??

I'm her sister, she doesn't has a mother..

about the relatives I didn't cared actually... but I was deeply hurt when my dad, ill-spoked about me for the first time..

the matter was actually very simple... me and Adah had a small fight and I asked her casually "go away.. dummy"

just because of these 2 words my life became heckish.

my dad called me and said, "what kind of manner is this?? how dare you say her to go away.... if I listen you said her something bad again, I will throw you out, and send you to your aunt... god knows why did I get such filthy and evil daughter.."

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I clearly remember the lines... because these lines left a deep scratch in my heart.... my dad... apparently changed...

so, my life was completly alone... they pushed me at the corner.. yet I never did anything wrong.... a kid can share everything with someone.. but always giving up Is not possible for a kid as well...

later I also became her bodyguard....I had to attend her paternal function, to take care of her...I even had to skip school for it... the dad who was always against it gave an instant constant...

my dad was still good enough to me then... but he completely changed after this incident::

one day my mom cut some fruits for Adah..I was about to take one.. she suddenly said," don't touch, it's for Adah." thus I stopped instant... later dad came and asked... why wasn't I eating... I said " mom said not to touch.. it was for Adah"..

I just literally said what she ordered me... but it led to a big fight... dad argued with mom.. why she didn't gave me fruits.. mom said, "it's from Adah's dad's money!!! if you want to me to feed your daughter why don't you work!!...

my dad was workless then... so, this tiny matter barged to divorce then my big aunt asked me to lie... she asked me to say I was lying... that mom really did gave me to eat....I wasn't sure what to do. .I just didn't wanted mom and dad to divorce, so I took the blame.... so, in an instant I suddenly became a evil girl in my dad's eyes... he started to hate me too...

so in this way,,,,,, I was left alone........ an unwanted evil person in their life... once my mom said she gave birth to a bitch our of anger.. she might have forgotten it, but it's an ever fresh wound in my heart....... in this way they made me pathetic.... evil... luminous... an unwanted..bitchy person...

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you know what inspired me most.... it's The "JOKER"....

A painful person to a immoral evil.....

I understood from him.... being too good isn't helpful always... Sometime being a psycho also works as healer....

I'm indeed a double faced psycho.... doing insane things under the naive Mask... but you know what, it makes me feel better..it takes me out of my pains and suffering.....😊😊

I'm still doing great and alive because I became the "VILLAINESS of my own story"