The day after, we became officially friends on social media, I got a messenge from that stranger friend. I didn't dare to text him at first because I felt like I didn't have a courage to start a conversation with him. Actually I was ever that one who prefered to start any conversation at first. I was very much introvert type girl.

I lacked confidence while expressing myself, preferred to remain silent to supress my feelings and observe others rather than expressing all over the person. I was that kind of one who still suffered the most and also tried to look calm and cool headed all the time but inside even I couldn't explain what I was like.Obviously, I didn't get excited by his message but felt a little bit of happiness because someone had actually texted me a message and it was a guy, it's not like I disliked boys, just couldn't understand them and their mind. Texting him back, replying his hello by my hi after sometime. He immediately sent me another message asking my name and at that time everyone used to ask my real name because I usually didn't tell people my real name and my FB account name was also based on my nickname. So, everyone used to ask my name who didn't know me closely. He praised that my name Kayla was just like me,silent and secretive though we both didn't know the actual meaning of it. I didn't ask for his suggestion about my name which was perfectly only given or made for me by my parents.From my side, I also started asking about him too then. His name was Sayabang, an ordinary boy with overload cuteness who liked to flirt in every moment of his words and never used to be serious in any talks. Just joking everytime and using his words to change the atmosphere frequently. During our conversation, I noticed that he was just opposite of me, exactly the alternative form of me. I used to be serious all the time, preferring useful words, or not so cheerful person whereas he was like everytime using his words to try to make me laugh and cheered me, initiating the first conversation and talking much more than necessary things. When we shared more moments eachother on our text I got a chance to know him more nearly, the atmosphere started to become more and more interesting. I had never become friend or met someone who was so much open minded and wanted to become friend with me in just in our first conversation. In such a short period we had become friends and started to chat daily. He used to text me at first and I also started to like his company on the sharing all of my daily chitchat. My sister knew that I had become friend with him on social media and texted him daily. Knowing that she became very much happy and excited to know what would happen with us in future. She started to feel herself as a cupid who had just matched the unknown two persons as a couple.

But I still wasn't thinking him more than a good friend until that day. I had created the boundary between us which I hadn't been imagining of crossing over yet.

When my vacation was going to end, I went to my maternal house knowing that my sister was already there too. I didn't use to talk about Sayabang but when I did, she suddenly started to smile and tease me frequently calling his name in front of me. I still didn't get the point why did I turn red with shyness all that time when she used to mention his name?

We planned to spent a couple of weeks there until my exam came near. I was also a student who was preparing for a final exam then and wanted to spend more time on the text books rather than texting or thinking about him. But everytime when I used to open the chat box, I could see his message then continued the chat and I started to like sharing our time on our conversation on chat. I wasn't getting any idea when did I become like that?

He had already told me that during the day time he worked on a bar until the midnight so, only at his leisure time I used to get text from him which was just a short message those days. And we started texting less than before because of his works but in his every leisure time, he never missed a moment to text me back. Now, suddenly changes started to be shown or I was changing myself for someone else, I used to initiate our conversation those days because he felt triedness of waiting for his message just after his work which just used to be a good night message so, I had to make efforts to make him remembered frequently about me.

One day, he texted me telling that he was sick and having a high fever. Currently, he was at home taking a day off from his work so, I told him to visit the doctor immediately otherwise the fever might not go down or the condition would go worst. He went to the hospital, got blood tested and waited for the reports. When he came back from the hospital, he told me about his reports. His report was showing the Dengue positive which made me really worried about him at that time because I thought there was no one nearby who could take care of him properly except me. I wanted to be with him at that time, care him for his recovering of the illness and be with him when he needed someone.

Again I found myself, changing myself or I had already started acting about that stranger boy form yesterday who had just become a friend of mine on social media one month ago but within that short period of time I was influenced by his sweet words and behavior which made me habituated. I suggested him to take medicine daily properly and text me everytime if he was feeling ill or even on his good situation. Was it just a sympathy or an empathy or anything else? I didn't get at that time which was a totally different feelings for me I had ever felt for someone else before that. I had started to change myself unknowingly to be with that person but that was not the thing which I wanted. Might be I was overly worried or felt empathy towards him but hardly try to put in mind, "I just want to be a good friend of him, we are just friends nothing more than that, you got it Kayla" my words were trying to convince myself frequently in my mind.

Uncontrollable flow of sensation started to appear somewhere inside me which used to flutter my heart everytime. Don't know where but felt very strange and lovable when the unknown transmission of wave used to spread all over the stomach. The first sense of such feelings was beautifully coated in my soft corne secretly.

Unknowingly and unconsciously my heart started to beat loudly without considering my consciousness of mind. The war between the sensation and consciousness repeatedly blamed my soul for the unknown cause of action of such immediate reaction. Sayabang, this name was engraving inside my heart slowly. Only by listening his name, my hearts started to pound fastly.

That day I felt really unusual so, I didn't check my mobile the whole day but something was urging me repeatedly to open the chat box and see. My hand moved to reach the phone and finally opened the chat. There was no message from anyone though. For one hour I stared outside thinking about that person who was might be busy on his work, handling the customers, roaming here and there with his cute action, impressing the girls coming to his bars, flirting with other girls without knowing that I was waiting or worrying about not getting any messages from him.

But who cared it was my actual nature, my own personality to be thinking alone a lot stuffs and creating the activities of persons in my own imagination without considering the reality. But suddenly my mind buzzed with the vibration of the phone, there was a message which was from the same that I had been waiting for so long. I nearly cried at that moment when I got his message, my heart was out of control and throbbing and jumping with excitement or nervousness which wasn't ready for accepting the fact that it had been actually waiting for his response.

Seeing his message made me more amused though it was just a "Hi". But for me it was every words that I was expecting from him like "What happened? Why didn't you text me this whole day? I was worried about you."

Just his "Hi" changed my mood that time and my expectations level increased from bottom to the sky. Sayabang didn't ask anything more than the causal talk. And we ended our conversation after a short time because he had to be in work and couldn't touch his phone during his work time. Then my saddened face became a little bit calmed and bright after getting his message. My sister suddenly appeared and smiled teasing me saying that someone was very happy now.

She was the one who introduced me to Sayabang but she didn't even know my attachment towards him these days though she was observing the whole day. Seeing her cheerful face made me calm and happy. From that day the same thing continued we used to chat everyday like a normal day. As usual Sayabang used to tell me about his daily activities and same went for me. I was preparing for my final exam staying at my maternal house and my days were passing with our daily conversation.

Every morning was started with our morning message until the expectation of good night message staying till the midnight waiting for his reply because of his midnight works. It's been 3 weeks since my vacation was going to be end and had to return to the city where the University was. I was thinking of returning after 2 or 3 days later with my sister.

My sister name was Annie. While talking about her personality, she was hot blooded, short tempered, had a bold voice, faired skin, brown haired naturally, thin and beautiful petals like lips, beauty mole on her cheek, a perfect body, high intellectual one etc. I couldn't explain her whole personality, she was just a perfection in herself. She had been with me since I remembered my childhood and we were together since the day of my memory of the life. I was always with her except my college classes, from the morning to the night, from the holidays to the vacation‌s and from the cafe to the club, I never missed her company. She was more than my sister usually behave like my best friend or soulmate. And now in such important decision of my life of choosing another soulmate, she wasn't there. I couldn't understand myself of not taking a proper decision. A bit of sadness was there when I was trying to hide that relationship from that person whom I had shared every parts or memory of my life till now but I wasn't sure about to tell her. "Is it necessary to let her know that I already have developed feelings for Sayabang?" I gasped quite a bit loud that she heard it and asked me about my anxiousness but I didn't say a word and she didn't even ask me again.

Tomorrow morning I was returning to the city and after 1 week, I had to give my final exam. But those days, my mind wasn't concentrating and I wasn't living with a peaceful mind like wasn't completely ready to do any exam of my life.

Sayabang had also recoverd from his illness. Asking him daily from his morning to the night activities had become my habit then. I couldn't sleep without getting any messeng from him and woke up without messeging him. Those days, I didn't feel akwardness to start any conversation with him, was very much opened minded with him. Nearly I knew everything about that person within 3 weeks of our conversation.

On that day, he didn't message or text me the whole day. And when I did, he just left it seen and didn't even reply. My patience started to fall down and fingers continuously started to send him message frequently asking about him. I didn't get any reply though. Whole day my mood remained worst and seeing me in such a drastic mood, Annie came to me and gazed at my mood off faced for 10 seconds. She immediately lifted her phone and called someone in front of me saying him/her to remain online just for sometime.

But I didn't care her conversation thinking she wasn't interested in my mood at all.

Five minutes later, my mobile vibrated with tons of messages stating something like this, "I'm not ignoring you, just have some problems, sorry for making you worried". Then the beating of my hearts wasn't normal, it was pounding and pounding and jumping forgetting all those painful moments of the whole day. My burdened heart felt very much free to speak after his message. "What has happened? You can tell me if you are going through any troubles. I will hear you out so that you can share everything to me without any hesitation." I told him softly.

He said that he was just disturbed by his working hours so didn't want to talk to anyone about his problems. I wasn't so happy about his words. My expectations to those days were increasing day by day. How could Sayabang not notice that thing? Couldn't get that point. But happily I was accepting all his words thinking at least I got some of his attention words from him that day.

Then heart became calm and smooth enough for normal functioning now. Sayabang talked to me until midnight and after our good night message, we together left the chat box.

Next morning, as usual there was a morning message in my chat box and it was obviously from Sayabang. There was a different sense of excitement that day. Whole day was refreshed only by his message. At the evening, after finishing reading the text book, I was just scrolling the post, suddenly message box buzzed. " I have to tell you something" this was the message. Without any delay, I replied, "Yes, please tell. I was waiting for you to talk about anything at first." At that time my heart wasn't in right situation, the same thing had happened before too. During my exams, during my first encounter to strange people, during my exposure of weakness and most of the time during my nervousness, etc the same condition had occurred to me frequently or repeatedly but the shocking moment was that I was enjoying the beating of my heart at that that time, it was different that time because I rarely enjoyed such moments in my life. Beating of heart due to happiness and excitement and nervousness.

"I used to talk to a girl since 2 years but nowadays I am not getting any contact from her. I'm afraid something may have happened to her. So these days I don't want to talk to anyone because there is no one who can understand me in this situations and I can't share this to anyone. What should I do now? Kayla!!" Sayabang said and stop texting after that because no reply of his message was sent from me. I weaved different thoughts in my mind.

"What should I do now?" I asked myself with a paused finger to type.

"What am I supposed to tell him now?

How can I say him to ignore her and replace that place for me?" That was so selfish to ask. I had been texting him since 3 weeks and felt so much attached to him and talking about that girl, she had been contacting or attached to him since 2 years, how much pain had they been handling together trying to overcome their feelings for each other.

"Stop! Stop! huh what am I thinking? Where is me? Why is my mind thinking about that girl? How can I do it to myself? I shouldn't ignore myself too. What about me? What about those expectations that I have been dreaming about him? Should I give up on that person now? Is this it for us? "

The conflict went on inside me. Something really hurt badly inside me which couldn't be explained and my heart burdened with some strange emotions of something that was holding tightly to not let go that sensation or feelings. At some point, I didn't want to give up on that person coming that far because I had already felt the vibe that he was somehow connected to me whether it was just for the moment of time though. But for the sake of that girl I convinced myself to think about this again and tried to convince him saying, "Don't worry, she may have reasons to do that and you are together for 2 years so she will be back in few days, try contacting her repeatedly, if she truly loves you, she won't hurt you from any of her reasons, just believe and trust her this time." From my words he tried to be worried less and stayed calm for a few moments.

At last of our text he typed, " It isn't that you are thinking, there is nothing between us nowadays, we aren't in a relationship but since we have been contacting for 2 years so I'm a little bit worried about her because she hasn't texted me for several days. I am just afraid if something has happened to her." Huh I actually didn't get his words. What did that mean? Didn't get his intension of saying such things to me now. I had already made up my mind to give up on Sayabang then why was he again rising my hope again? Did he really just think what I was thinking in my mind about his relationship to that girl? I didn't get any word to say or type so, we ended our chat after I gave him some calming words to overcome his worriness.