Three

The sun rose brighter in the east as the clock struck ten in the morning. I was in my vanity, carefully brushing my hair back. I had classes in that day and had I been grateful that it would only snatch few hours of my routine.

The ladies had still not known of my whereabouts last day, neither was the corresponding reading I'd received from the seer. I was bothered by it, although, I already saw it as some sort of synthetic fauz. But my mind would graciously lumbered through all lurking thoughts that lingered round and round like a wheel of fortune. And that resulted me to sleep later than my usual hours. Consecutively, Angelo had heard of my encounter to who he was once acquainted with.

I had remembered what he told me. It was nine in yesterday's night and I couldn't have place myself in one place.

"You shouldn't have meet with him." Angelo spat, snarling at me like a vicious beast.

I lowered my gaze as I cowered in front. My body left a shudder but I had not let him notice. "It was not my fault. It's sudden. And I only saw him in the corners of my eyes."

His eyes narrowed in eminent displease. "Your eyes met and then you told me now that you saw him in the blind eye?" roared the latter. His voice contained sarcasm as words waltzed away from his lips. "What is the truth, Sera? Had I not told you to stop indulging yourself with that man? I did, yes? And why is it you're purely hardheaded?"

"I'm sorry!"

"Do not. Had you not remember what he had done to you? He used you for his mere entertainment! For goodness sake, stop this madness." He stared at me in full spleen, then shifted onto a weary look. He sighed in defeat, recoiling his arms and seemed there were no chances that he would unravel them soon. "Please stop this, Sera.  I told you a million times. Only once is enough. Those phrases that said second chances are miracle, it only applies on some circumstances. And I doubt you're included."

He was right.

I pierced my eyes straight to his before I responded. "I'm sorry." My gaze went sideways. "It's just... Look, I was only writing my answers on the last question. And then, when I was about to leave, there had I seen Ferros. It was entirely coincidental—"

"—Are you sure it's coincidental to him?"

"I don't know. Please, wait. Let me finish—" But he had cut my words once more.

"There is no need for you to explain what exactly happened in that afternoon." He paused. "I only wanted you be safe and stop hurting. You can't change what had happened but you can change how you react on it."

The room fell silent. His words hit me like a shot bullet peering to its target. I was an aspiring Psychologist and had helped hundreds of mentally-disturbed people when I was an informal helper; yet, why was it so difficult for me to deal the situations transpiring in my life? My advices and solutions were so good into other people, however, when it came to myself I was a poltroon. How I was curious whether licensed Psychologists felt similar to my situation, that even for someone who understood Human Thoughts and Emotions would need another listener, or was so professional to address their issues individually. If the latter was the case then I wanted to learn the same method. Perhaps I instinctively understood that my feelings were bottled, unwavering and yearning for help. And once the cap was removed would the empowering emotions bursted out like glittered rainbows, affecting everyone who surrounded it.

"Maybe the witch you met was correct after all." He remarked in nonchalance.

I threw him an ominous glare. "No way. That's no way... She's a scheming fraud. I just know it." The male acted a casual shrug. "Though, can... you keep this as a secret between us? I don't want them to know." I muttered as soft as cottons.

He returned a nod. "Of course. Carol and Carmela might comprehend. As for Zara, she would undoubtedly shower you with baseless scrutiny."

"R-Right."

The night ended with our conversation. Or so I thought.

My heart was pounding, hammering fast inside my bosom as it pumped both blood and adrenaline. My eyes was watering, welling and ready to cry. It wasn't new. Had I always felt that way upon one glimpse of his face. I explained to Angelo: I felt there was a hole inside me that was a conclusion from the lack of closure. And time could not lead myself to forgive him, nor completely delete his figure away from my memory.

Honestly, continuous report to my friends in regards of him, I sounded so stupid. I was foolish, smitten by love of someone who was not accessible.

A scene suddenly punctured in my consciousness.

"Hi, loves." Ferros greeted. I could already conjure his simpering face inside my mind.

I was extremely jubilant that he had called me first. Most of the times would be myself who was contacting him, and for multiple rings would he pick up. It was a rare occurrence for him to lower his pride and call me. And though, it was beyond odd that it would only take three consecutive sounds for him to hang up and back calling again, I should be mostly quick enough to answer.

Smiling in glee, a quirk from the edges of my lips strode upwards, forming into a smile. "H-Hello..." I greeted back.

It was new for him to call me in that endearment. I was the one who formulated such name, and even at first he was reluctantly against it, he had addressed me in familiar cordial way at last.

"I placed a small letter in your pouch, with your portable flash drive." He told me.

I looked in the void, wide-eyed. "Really?" I skimmed through past the passageway of the school's corridor and then reached the room. My hands fished for the pouch I placed on my bag. Then, I opened it and found one page of paper, folded into four-folds.

Just as I was about to unfurl the leaf, his voice intervened, making me halt in my attempt. "Don't open it yet! When you get back home, that's where you'll open it."

There was a weight inside me, resounding reluctance of someone who was clad with excitement. Hesitated, I spoke. "Okay, sure?"

I heard a giggle from the other line, assuming that he let out a laugh in my brief scruple with most eminent mocking behavior. I decided to ignore his spurious tone.

"Take care my loves." was the last thing he said before he hung up.

I spread the uniform skirts as I sat straight in my seat, careful not to augur the ruination of pleats and the hem tips. I sneered in pretentiousness, trying to be oblivious of my situation. My mind and heart were wholly grasped at the idea that I was loved by the man I dreamt. I was flying in cloud nine, drunk with the euphoric ecstasy and my voracious thirst for his attention had been responded.

Oh how wrong was I, though.

I took a quick glimpse of the ray of light from the unshuttered windows. There sitting were Angelo and Carmela, forever seatmates and both our friends. However, this time had morphed different. Ferros had developed a misunderstanding, an overwhelming pride and manipulation that led to severing ties between them. My male friend was as smart that he had figured he was manipulated; so, in turned he used his victim self to manipulate Ferros.

Carmela, on the contrary, was not relativey fond of his existence. She found him who was an equally annoying person, although, I had repeatedly debated with her that he was not. Nevertheless, I was not expectant that Ferros would be really habituated towards her. I had developed envy towards her, yet I know I should not had felt that way.

But, as that had been ensuing, the connection between Ferros and I grew suddenly. It was in my wildest dreams would I encounter this cinematic episode wherein he had finally realized that I exist, that the amount of love I poured him was complete. He was my first love after all.

The male was the one I loved so deeply and was also the person who had the capability of hurting me. I was so wrong to trust his peculiar act. I should have known better. He was bored, he was lonely. And I was the only one who could accept him unconditionally.

Until such time that he found someone behind his seduction towards me. I had never known there was already someone in the picture. An image of what I thought it would have only been us. Guess that I was manipulated on his beckoning lure. That I piteously allowed myself to be the mouse of a trap. I slid it out at first, thinking that he would return to me.

However, I could not stand it no more. Regardless of sexes, Ferros had met a lot of people and be his partner. I had to do it. Though, it was a difficult decision but I managed to completely let go of our strings. I had not let him to juggle my emotions again.

I cried for several weeks, or might had been months. Angelo was the person who understood me. He was there when I needed someone, not even Carmela who was my best friend appeared. He knew all of the story, all of my misting sentiments, my inner sufferings, and my restless resentment of the past. I hated myself for falling in love as I hated him for playing me.

I shook all of the memory away, having these what it seemed ghosts in temporal riddance, and placed back the hair brush on the wood. My fingers touched the embroidered diamonds of my necklace. It was a pendant that took shape into a key, gold frame in color, and smeared with beautiful jewels. The light passed through and the luminescence shimmered in hues of different colors of rainbow.

It was a long time since this appeared on my bed. I did not know of its sender or its rightful owner. I asked my parents whether it was theirs or was it their gift, yet their answer was not I was looking for. I consulted my friends and few of my acquaintances, and yet same answer concluded me. Then, I turned to the internet and at least collect a background information of this item; I found nothing. The same results left me in the labyrinth of bewilderment.

Hence, I ended up in a conclusion to be the owner of this jewelry. Upon the years it had been mine, it's glowing beauty had not faded. It's brilliance, as I looked at it thousands of times, it would subtly make me admire it more as it let my heart in peace. I had a strong connection of this thing, and I was not entirely sure of the reason. It could scream billions of money, but I could not even dare myself to sell it. As time went on, I grew familiar to the key pendant.

My ears tingled upon hearing the loud voices in the apartment's living room. A question mark emerged in the back of my head as I plodded outside, then down to the stairs.

There, I found Zara who was lazily eating junk foods and Carmela who was facing at her with a broom in her hand. I had not seen Carol. She had gone off to the university or was she attending on her weakly groceries for the house.

My lips spread thin as I looked at them, heating dispute penetrating within their faces.

"What are you on about?" questioned Zara. "I was merely discussing what I've seen last night."

The opposite female's forehead creased in pirated annoyance. "Yeah! And you're fearing those who are not real."

"They are real!"

"How could you say so? Had you seen them face to face?"

"Is your belief should be based really on what you've only seen? Plus, I told you I see something in that dark street!"

"Perhaps you have been delusional! Seriously, you're imagining things. Those such as ghosts could not be existing, they're unreal beings created by artful imaginations of humans." Carmela spat spitefully. Her words were like a blade to my beliefs and faiths.

This was the reason had I not talked to her if it weren't about books, writing, and her problems. Surely, I had issues in my own but it was actually Angelo who knew it first. Speaking of the male, he was not here.

"Yo, girls. What are you arguing about?" I greeted as a question later rolled off from my lips.

Zara swiftly pointed on Carmela who had now looked at her with grimace. "She doesn't believe me."

I asked. "About what?"

"About ghosts!" My attention piqued at what she revealed. "So, this is what happened. You knew we went out on shopping right?"

"Right." I responded in disbelief. "You did not invite me, how on Hell?"

She laughed. "Wait, wait. Listen first. As we were on our way here last night, I saw a luminous white glow in one street. I thought it was some sort of light that lit for the guidance of the way, but I've seen a figure. I looked away then back again, the light was gone. I know for sure that figure was a ghost!"

"It's not!" Carmela snarled, hissing as she gritted her teeth. "Ghosts are not real. It must be someone who was bringing a flashlight that's why you saw a figure. Stop believing those!"

We silenced.

The female continued, putting both of her arms in her hips, broom still held tight on her hand. "Zara, you are an aspiring Psychiatrist and you're believing in these shrewd topics."

"Bye, girls. I'm off to class." I cut in before she could say more.

What she said was enough for me to conclude her to be most appropriate to Philosophy. Her mind and spirit was dyed with one point of view. She was becoming careless of her words as she was being sensitive of the emotions. Her incautiousness had led her to be inconsiderate of everybody's feelings. Her perceptions were direly philosophical.

I had believed Zara. And I could say that career was highly different to the spiritual beliefs, making me wanting to differ on Carmela's statements. Had I remembered before where she used to say that believing on statues was a ludicrous act and should not be tolerated. Her mind was close at that time and I was thankful that it was getting an improvement now, although slow and small. Did she refuse to accept some truths or outward forces were the factors that influenced her?

Nonetheless, I could only put pity in the youngest. I knew they would be on tense for hours. Zara was a type of person who had a lot of patience and yet, on some things that she would be under the impression of anger, her sense of tolerance would gallantly falter. I could compare her into a sword, a searing double-sided blade. She could be good and she could be fake. There were moments had I recalled she backstabbed a person she hated and acted in front as if she had done nothing. She could mingle around without worry, sometimes ignorant of her impulsive actions and then regretted it after. She knew how to adjust around people but once she was damned, her words could kill.

But I stayed with her all those years. I was compassionate enough to understand her difficult character. To my delight, in my every impactful sentences I gave her would she listen to me and apologize if she was at fault. Zara was growing and she was the always victim of my endless lecture. I was fascinated that she could understand and was willing to.

Although, she had wronged Angelo and Carmela, they had given her enough chances. I suppose she was human, a young soul and was not perfect. Everyone made mistakes, regardless of age, gender, occupancy, or monetary wages. That was people failed to understand about her. They thought of her as a scheming raven hovering over on its devious sorcerer. That once she'd done something wrong, she would do it again and again and again, leaving me in a trance of pain. Yet, compared to Ferros, she was a better person and sought for peace and goodness.

Carol was the only one she was so close with and never bickered. Perhaps both could relate each other, or could communicate better. Or, it might be because they did not have to quarrel. I sometimes envied their relationship.

∘₊✧۩۞۩۞۩✧₊∘

As usual, I was very attentive to the class. Oh how was I glad to have separate schedules with the two. I was at peace, and only the hushed voices of people not caring their studies were the ones that broke it. I was not offended somehow for I had been used in the slightly loud murmurs of a classroom, and even if the professor was speaking on his lesson were they had not dare to lend an ear.

My goal was extremely high. I graduated from my previous school as the highest and I wanted to remain that status as I enter myself in a completely new battle of College. I had not only manifested for good grades but I also wished to be a Dean's Lister or much higher. I asked God directly in my every prayers, thus I implied great efforts in every session to be known, to get best grades. I also asked the Angels to send my prayers to Archangel Michael. And I asked Archangel Michael to pray for me to God. I just hoped that all of this were enough for me to get rewarded.

"Don't forget to submit your two-thousand words essay tomorrow at noon. Failed to do so will have you fail this subject. See you when I see you, dismissed." The professor, who seemed in his forties, stated before he went out from the room.

Some people in the room let out a whine. I grinned at their stubbornness. I had known of their procrastinating behavior, which gave me great chances to ace this requirement. It was not so difficult for me to formulate few thousand essays with no redundancy and straightforward statements. I was once part of a writing club before, and still I was writing until now. I had won awards and recognized by judges. It would not be a brag but this essay would just be an exercise for me.

As I exited the room and headed for the cafeteria, my arm was suddenly dragged in another way. I was about to scream for help before it was too late, but my mouth was claspsed with a hand, not allowing me to let out a whimper.

I breathed hard as the person permitted me to go on.

"Please don't shout. I mean no harm." The person said.

I flung my head upwards and peered on it. Only then I wished I was kidnapped than facing this individual.

Before me was Ferros in a full flesh, looking so fresh with his simple white polo and slacks attire. My eyebrows knitted as I crossed my arms against my bosom.

"Harm? You mean no harm? Your presence alone is harmful itself." I spat, dispirited and displeased.

It was the truth, nevertheless, for his presence could potentially trigger a lot of painful memories in the past that I wanted to bury in the back of my conscious mind. I wondered why he had brought me in an alley. I did not wished for his summoning.

He answered. "I just wanted to apologize."

I rolled my eyes as I tried to hide my scurrying feelings that mixed without meaning. "Apologize for what?"

"For... Everything I've done to you in the past."

"The past?" I laughed in the most insulting way. "Why? Why now? Did you know how it was so difficult for me to move on because I had not receive a closure? Did you know how much I was pained to be blind of all of your doings? Did you know how I almost wanted to end everything, just to forget how pathetic and stupid I was for loving someone unworthy as you?"

"Sera..."

"Oh, I can also remember." Now, I could scarcely hide my sarcasm. "When you used another account and covered yourself into another identity, pretending you were Ferros' girlfriend. You rejected me indirectly because you didn't have the guts to tell it in your own self, with your own identity. Had you known of my panic attacks you caused? I was shaking you pompous d*ckhead, because I already know that you've been with other ladies. I assumed it was one of them but you confessed it was you all along. I was in gravely in loved with you before, yet you didn't reject me but rather took advantage of my feelings.

"When you approached for the second time around and opted to rebuild your friendship with us, I had allowed myself to give you second chances. Although, I was thankful enough that love left out and loathe stilled as a hero. But you have never changed! In one simple flaw, you were insensitive to not recognize a plummeting mental health. You blocked us out of your life! So to let you know, Angelo don't want any if your crap. He was done, and so was Carmela. If you're lucky enough then you could with Zara and Carol." I spoke a long litany, words that I had not expressed verbally towards him.

"Do you know why some friendships don't last, Ferros? Because of pride. Because they had not let themselves to listen and fix the problem. You, on the other hand, was not only a player but prideful as well."

My febrile tears swelled down as my anger could not be interpreted into words. My mouth could not speak for more and I just wished I could get out from this situation. To my demise, there was part of me that wanted to stay and listen to what could he reply. I waited.

"I... I am very sorry, Seraphiel. I just don't know how to deal with our connection nor was I sane at that time. But now, I was not the same evil person you were once in loved before. That's the reason I wanted to apologize." Ferros said, looking down like a scolded child telling his parents his reasoning. "I realized I shouldn't have done that. And I want to give our friendship another chance. Please, Seraphiel."

I bit my lip and nodded slowly, with pang of mock hinted on my atmosphere. "I just wanted closure, Ferros. Release me. Please release me in this pain..." A tear slipped out from my tearducts.

"I'm freeing you, Sera. And I'm sorry." He finally stated.

How I long to have heard of those sentences. The hard chains that barred my heart broken at last, freeing it by the prison it contained. I felt light entered my soul: pacified, tranquil.

I smiled. "This was the best gift I had ever received. Thank you." was the thing I said before I went home.

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